A/N: Hi! This is a random fanfic based off of what my friend and I rped together for the past few days! XD I just felt like posting it cuz I was bored :P btw, the pandaa account, the china one, and the Leon one are all real, so yeah :)
Pairing: hinted HongIce, hinted Rochu
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HETALIA. I was forgetting pretty much all of this in my past fanfics, sorry about that. Oh, and I don't own whatever devices I may bring up during this, blah blah blah...
China was extremely bored. He yawned languidly as he picked up his iPhone 5c. Recently, there was a huge buzz about this app named "Instagram", and he had downloaded it on a whim. He soon discovered that there was a fandom for an anime called Hetalia, and he was apparently part of it... Along with Hong Kong and a few others, he created a "role playing" account (naturally, he was role playing himself). China also recently posted a picture where the people who are "following" him could ask him any question they wanted to, and he would have to answer it truthfully.
_its_china_aru_: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHINESE TASTY TREAT?! MUHAHAHA
Just some fangirl. He replied.
pandaa_aruaru: YESH! XD
_its_china_aru_: It seems like Russia din finding new uses for that pipe he carries around. And like, why is he always hanging around your door so much? I like, live with you, and the AC in my room is broken, so the windows always open. The "twisted evil aura" isn't going away, you know.
China facepalmed. Hong Kong was always nagging him about Russia, and how they were "together". Yeah right. Like he would ever be attracted in that way to that Russian, but China know he was just kidding himself. But they we're not together! Honestly! Youth these days...
my_names_like_leon: Um... What new uses? And I don't know why he hangs around my door so much! You ask him aru! And besides... He's not that evil. He just doesn't understand how to interact properly with other people aru.
_its_china_aru_: The humidity opus here isn't helping my mood... He's still creepy. ((:P That's for asking about Iceland ;D))
my_names_like_leon: ((So...? Asking about Iceland was totally worth it)) then just come downstairs and ask him aru! Aiya it isn't so bad if you would just step out of your room!
China leaned back as he gazed out the window by the front door. Sure enough, a distinct figure with pale platinum colored hair, a long beige coat, a scarf, and lilac eyes was pacing about the front lawn as if debating whether to knock on the door. Outside of his own relationship problems, he supposed that Hong Kong's choice wasn't too bad... Iceland was pretty similar to the Asian nation, although China always slightly distrusted "white faced devils" ever since the Opium Wars*.
_its_china_aru_: I do step out of my room. Out my room and through the window. And I personally don't think that what's on that pipe is rust... Can I just...
China didn't finish reading as he heard a crash and a rustle outside as Hong Kong leaped from his window to the ground outside in an attempt to make another break for it.
"WEI LEON! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW ARU! Aiya... Sometimes I don't know what to do with you!" China yelled as he dropped his iPhone5c on the couch and dashed through the door... and promtly body slammed a rather surprised Russian who was working up the nerve to knock on the door. Russia smiled and put his arms around a struggling China.
"You are that eager to become one with me, da?" he chirped cheerfully.
China shoved him out of the way, rather rudely, as he thought later. "Now's not the time Russia!" He continued after Hong Kong.
Meanwhile, said nation was mildly busy crashing into (somewhat randomly) South Korea.
"Hong Kong da ze!" the Korean shouted loudly.
"Oh... hi Korea... Um..." Hong Kong internally panicked as he tried to get the clingy Korean off of him. "Hey, China's behind me somewhere! JACKIE CHEN DID NOT ORIGINATE FROM YOU BUT I HAVE TO GO BYE." At that, he dashed on.
"LEON-" China was abruptly cut off as Korea jumped on him frohe behind and yelled "ANIKI!"
"AIYAAAAAA! Let go of me aru!" China half screamed as he frantically struggled to dislodge the taller nation's searching hands.
"Nope!" South Korea chirped a happy reply. "Aniki's breasts originated in me, so they belong to me, da ze!"
"You're not getting off this lightly! Get back here aru!" China managed to yell at Hong Kong, who indifferently tugged out his Android and began snapping pictures of China and South Korea in rather... suggestive positions to send to Japan later.
"Nah... Lemme just WhatsApp this to Japan... Hmm... Some editing would be nice... And then maybe I'll Instagram this..." Hong Kong lowered his phone as Korea let go of China after yelling goodbye.
"Aiya!" China huffed as he tried to catch his breath. He just happened to look back at the sound of approaching footsteps and spy Russia heading for the two Asian nations. "Jia-Long... I think you should run for your life aru... Ivan does not look happy with you~ Now, give me that!" China added with a lunge for the phone in Hong Kong's hands. He dodged. "I wonder whether it is rust on his pipe or something else, hm? You better run aru~"
"S***T!" Hong Kong gripped his hone tightly and spun around trying to continue his mad dash away from the now grinning nation, but tripped badly and fell on his face. He tried to get up and crawl away, but backs into a tree. "Oh c************************** (censored cuz I don't like cussing)" Russia strode up to the smaller, frightened nation. China facepalmed.
"Jia-long... I told you to run aru..." China addressed Russia next. "Um... Ivan... What's the stuff on your pipe aru?" China cringed away as the bigger nation did not respond and instead began chanting.
"KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL" RUSIA chanted unhappily.
"Ivan! Um... Well..." China took a step back unsure what to do. Russia took a step towards Hong Kong and continued chanting. "Ivan..."
Hong Kong leaned back farther into the tree, his eyes almost crossed with how close Russia was standing to him. "Um... Sensei... Care to at least try to hold back your boyfriend?" he asked, his mask of indifference shattered. Russia stopped chanting and looked back to China, who spluttered something along the lines of "He's not my boyfriend!" before a crafty look entered his eyes.
"Okay... I will if you hand over your phone aru." China grinned deviously at his younger brother. "Otherwise... I guess we'll find out what the stains really are on his pipe aru." Russia glared at China, who glared right back, for a moment and then returned to throwing daggers through his eyes at poor Hong Kong. He continued to chant under his breath.
Hong Kong cringed, looking between the two larger nations. China looked triumphant while Russia looked downright murderous. Finally coming to a decision, he set the phone on the grass nervously, and seeing Russia's glare not stop, kicked it a few feet away from him. His time under England'a care taught him far too much about black magic for him to tamper with it.
"Okay Ivan, stand down aru." China picked up the phone and tried to delete the pictures his younger brother took. Russia nodded slowly, but still glared bloody murder at the small nation. Hong Kong glared defiantly back, but thought better and just warily glanced his way every now and then when another burst of killing intent was shot his way.
"Um... How do I delete the pictures aru? Stupid modern Western technology!" China yelled suddenly. He was glaring angrily at the pictures on Hong Kong's phone.
"Um... Russia does not use cellphone. I should smash it, da?" he shrugged.
Hong Kong now glanced between the confuzzled Russian and fries treated Chinese, and began edging around the tree. Once the path behind him was clear, he'd make a mad dash to Japan's training grounds and nab a katana or two, and hide out until China's house was safe.
Russia turned back and noticed that the small nation was gone. "Hey! You come back to Russia! Delete the photo!" he shouted.
"Japan, I choose you!" Hong Kong yelped, shoving a very confused Japan between himself and the angry Russian before sprinting away to grab a katana, and, upon deciding that fighting back was futile, kept running. Maybe Vietnam would be able to help him out of this mess... Russia began chanting again as he ran as Japan just stared nervously from one nation to the next.
"LEON!"
(Next bit is sorta the resolution to this crazy rp my friend and I did, and everything up until here was pretty much what we were doing on Instagram :3)
China sighed heavily as he trudged wearily back to his house, Russia dragging a struggling Hong Kong behind him. He had finally managed to get Hong Kong to delete the photos, and, after Japan whining about the loss of several perfectly good snapshots, headed home. The sun was setting behind the group as China opened the door to his house. "What is the reddish stuff on your pipe anyways, Ivan?" China asked out of pure curiosity.
"Hm? Why you ask? It's just rust. I need to polish it later," Russia replied nonchalantly. China and Hong Kong exchanged glances. So that's what it was...
A/N: Two author's notes?! WHAT IS THE INSANITY?! :D okay it's totally a sucky ending but meh, I was tired. Yeah... So advice advice! Review please! I'd love advice, because I'm new and this is my first fanfic so yeah. Okaiz den! Zai jien! (Cya again in Mandarin)