I've been wanting to write this story about Hinata for a long time now. I hated how the game barely gave any information about the characters backstory. Even worse so for Hinata because the game didn't explain much about him. Like, maybe a few sentences. So most of this is going to be total inferences I thought up about the characters, events in the game, and how things worked at Hope's Peak Academy. The characterization will be different because the game didn't go into detail on how Hinata and company acted before becoming a part of Team Despair and what not. Plus some creative licensing. This will of course contain spoilers. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it.

Date Published: 1/8/15
Word Count: 12,455
Page Count: 17

Deconstruction

He hated that place. The school loomed high over him every day, as if it was mocking him. Saying that no matter how hard he tried to reach out, he would never touch the building for it was far too high. That he could never shine as brightly as the people standing above him. He could never be like the main course, the children who would have everything given to them because of their title. He had no special talents like them, he was just a teenager who did his best. He was nothing compared to them. He was just a mere insect compared to those who were graced with a talent. If he died, it wouldn't matter. He was never anything to begin with.

That was why he hated them. They always seemed so happy. Laughing, giggling, and enjoying their privileges that was reserved only for those who could be considered the best of the best. Good food, classrooms with great equipment, quality living quarters, and facilities meant just for them. He especially hated the ones who didn't have to work for their skills. To an extent he could say some worked hard to get to where they were. Those would be the few he could say he just disliked rather than completely detest. Then there were the few who could actually do something good for the sake of humanity. Others though, they just had everything given to them. Someone was born into a powerful yakuza family? That must make him a great person. He didn't need to work for it, just being that person was enough to get accepted.

"A yakuza boy? How the hell is he supposed to bring forth hope in the world? All he'll do is bitch and kill people, how does that make the world better?" he scoffed to himself once.

Then of course he heard about her. Someone decided it was a great idea to invite a princess to the school. A person born into royalty, had everything given to her since birth, someone who would never understand what it meant to be a commoner. To be someone who would never matter in the world, and more than likely suffer under a cruel monarchy.

"A princess huh? Nobility has always had a stick up their ass. She's probably some snobby bitch who wouldn't ever do anything great for her people. Just the usual sort of corruption, the rich and powerful getting special treatment. Nothing new there," he complained one time to no one but him.

Then there was the absurdity of it all. A boy got in simply because of luck. Really, how does that accomplish anything for anyone except for him? The schools raffle of letting one random person in was a joke. How could anyone look at that place and say they truly cared about the reserve students when they would pick someone for no good reason? How was luck going to spread hope for all of those people living in piles of shit?

"Must be an asshole. Luck only does one thing, serve oneself. He won't be able to do shit for anyone else. There is no hope for the world if someone gets lucky. If he won a bunch of money, I doubt he would donate it to help others and spread their precious hope!" he hollered to the wall inside of his cramped and stuffy room.

He hated them. He hated how they were something he couldn't be. He hated how they had things he could never have. He hated how they were worked up to be the greatest students in the whole god damn world while he and the rest of the 2,000 some reserve course students meant nothing. They were nothing but utter garbage to the world if they couldn't be like them. No, they weren't mere garbage, but shiny garbage. The school officials only saw the light of the yen symbol in them. Money for the ultimate's that was why they were there.

"So someone breads animals? Big effing deal. So he breads animals for money, right? He might bring hope for a select few who want a certain type of animal, but in the end it only does him some good. Who knows how he treats them too."

"So some tiny bitch can dance? She might have worked her ass off, then again she might have not. It's not like I'll ever know, I'm not good enough to be like them. Though, how does this bring hope to the world? She just makes people happy and maybe inspire others to do the same thing, not like they'll ever be as good as her if she's an ultimate."

"So some tiny fat ass can cook? What hope does that bring? If anything, he would just make people enjoy a good meal. It's not like he would use his cooking skills to go around and feed people who can't themselves. His goal isn't to help others, it's to make money off of people looking for some good food."

"So some girl can wave around a shinai and beat others? What hope does this bring exactly? She'll make her school, kendo instructor, and herself look good. That's all. Unless she goes around killing corrupted assholes, she won't be brining any hope to the world."

He could go on and on about how much he hated them. How Hope's Peak Academy was brining nothing but rage to him and so many others. People who tried again and again to rise up would never succeed in the cruel world around them. To be able to touch the building that was meant to spring forth hope into the world was something everyone wanted to do. Yet they never could, because they would never have a special talent like the privileged few.

When he was a primary school student, he always looked up to the students of the academy. He was fascinated by them. They were like stars, always shining brightly above him to bring forth a change in the world. It was like he was an astronomer, always gazing through his telescope with amazement at the great students shown on the news. That they wanted to bring hope to those down on their luck and cast away despair. They were like super sentai rangers, always thinking about others and doing their best for them. That was when he was first introduced to them, and his dream to become a star of hope was engraved into his mind.

He came to the realization one night that his hatred meant nothing to Hope's Peak Academy. No matter how much he and the other reserve course students worked, they would never be treated any better. No matter how much revulsion was building up in their chests, their cries for change would never be heard. They would always be on the bottom of the chain. The weakest of all tiers. They were only there so the school could make money. The reserve course was created to keep the abomination of a school running after all, and the officials made sure they charged outrageous prices. That money though never went to them of course. It was given to the main course, the people the school placed above all else. The only thing that mattered anymore was keeping the main building running properly and making the ultimate's happy.

"We, the reserve students, are nothing more than expendable pieces of income. Our families give the school money because they know how desperate we are. They know how hard we worked, and how we wanted to be of importance to the world. So they leach onto our weaknesses and they take advantage of use who want to be important. Nothing we do will ever show them that we matter," he rambled to himself lowly that night. He was leaning back in his chair, piles of school work scattered on his desk. His dorm mate was nowhere in sight like any other day. His arms was resting against his sides while the only light was emanating from the small desk lamp. Everything around him was silent, irritatingly silent.

His mind was turning and turning like a gear, as if everything suddenly was put into its proper place. He wasn't sure what triggered it, but maybe it was because he finally had enough. That he was breaking down, that the Hinata Hajime he knew was starting to erode into something different. He had never been the hateful type of person. He was always smiling and playing around with his friends. He was always willing to put his hand out to help others at one point in his young life. Now though, all he ever felt was hatred towards the school. The only hand he would put out now would be to his fellow students who shared their hatred with him.

"Our lives don't matter to them. We could all fade away into oblivion and they wouldn't care. If we all died, they would just find some way to cover it up. To them, we don't matter. We mean nothing! Everything we worked for was for nothing! Everything we strived for was for nothing! They shot our dreams back down to Earth for the sake of the main course! The reserve course only exists to push the main course higher and higher into the sky!" he yelled out as he pulled his arms up and placed his hands over his eyes. His nails dug forcibly into his face, but the pain didn't affect him. He was too pissed about his circumstances to notice the pain.

"Everything we strived for was destroyed! No matter what we do, our lives will never mean anything! We can't be like them! They won't let us better ourselves to prove to them that we too we can do something!" He could feel the tears building up in his eyes as he let out his bottled up emotions. His voice was ruff, filled with wrath towards the place he was seemingly stuck in like an excruciating and never ending maze. Everything he had worked for, everything he had done since he was a child would never mean anything to Hope's Peak or anyone else.

That's why he hated everything. He hated the students because they were what he could never be. He hated the school because they didn't care about him. He brought them money, and that was all that mattered. He hated everything around him, and he could feel something inside him finally snap. He started to feel a disgusted sensation course through his body. It made him feel vile, with the sensation to throw up whatever invaded his body. It made him want to change everything about himself. He didn't want to be himself anymore. If being Hajime meant being nothing to the school, the ultimate's, to the whole damn world, then he wanted to destroy the person he was. He was filled such an abhorrence of the academy that he started to hate himself for not being able to be like them. Everything he once knew about himself was being destroyed.

As he sat there, letting the tears finally fall from his eyes at the revelation that no matter what he did he would never be important to anyone, he wanted to destroy something. It didn't matter what it was, be it himself or the school, he just wanted to see something smoldering as he started to feel himself slip away into something. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it wasn't something he wanted to be in. Something that would truly destroy himself rather than the place that created the notion that being himself would never accomplish a single damn thing.

He wanted to be like them so much. He wanted to be seen as a person with a prodigious talent that could do great things for society. A person that others could look up to, to be inspired by to work hard. As someone that truly mattered in the world, someone that could be accepted and looked up to. That was why he tried and tried to get into the school's main course long before he was even in junior high. He was always studying, trying to discover something he could do better than anyone else around him. He never stopped trying to find something he could do better than the other children at school, even if it caused him to accidently hurt himself. His parents where always supporting him in his efforts to become a student at Hope's Peak, though they did scold him for doing something reckless. They always gave him bright smiles when he came home, patted his head when he brought home his high scores, and always cheered him on. They wanted to have a son that could stand out amongst the crowd, to be seen as astonishing. A son that they could brag about, to feel that they raised a child that so many others could never do if they even tried. They wanted him to be a representative of hope as much as he wanted to.

He felt a surge of hatred every time he walked into his classroom, his school bag hanging loosely from his fingers. Hatred just seemed to be another part of Hinata, something that he couldn't stop feeling as long he was stuck in the damn place. The room was no different than the usual type of classroom, though the equipment wasn't the best. Compared to the main course, anyone could figure out they were given the bare basics-basically shit-of what the government would allow for school facilities. It would be one thing if they were a small school out in the middle of nowhere with low funds. Yet Hope's Peak didn't fit the criteria at all. It was nothing more than disgrace to give the majority shit while the minority everything all because of rank.

The instructors all had the same basic lookout as the students, they weren't as good as the main course so they couldn't give a rat's ass about them. Ironic considering how Kirigiri boasted how all of his teachers, be them in the main or reserve course, would do anything for their 'precious students'. The instructors saw them as just a part of the job, as students who they would have to teach to get their pay check. It wasn't a surprise when students learned that their salaries were much lower compared to the instructors of the main course. Why should those teachers work hard when they were paid less despite the fact they had more students than the main course? They too suffered at the hand of the school, and couldn't leave due to contracts and the inability to find a job elsewhere.

As he walked over to his seat in the middle of the classroom, the students all looked like they were in some daze. Some students did accept their fate of being less than the main course and talked with one another, but it didn't mean they were happy at the school. All of the students around him suffered because of the damn school. They had their whole lives riding on their dreams of attending the school, and like Icarus had their wings destroyed for trying to get to close to something they could never reach. The hatred dug deeper into their hearts when they learned that attending the reserve course wasn't something to be proud about.

No one appreciated their work. No one cared that they worked and worked to come as far as they could. The teachers couldn't care about their plights because they too had their own problems with the administration. Then there was a rumor that previous reserve course students couldn't get accepted into certain universities because they were seen as rejects. Why would a university want students from the reserve course when they could get their hands on the true thing? No matter how high they scored on their exams, the stigma of being from the reserve course, the students who just weren't good enough, wouldn't ever fade away. The school had promised them great things at the reserve course, but none of it came true. Nothing more than a lie to entice them into enrolling and receiving their money. Everything they had screamed class F rank, the lowest of the low.

Then there was the disgrace of attending the course. Many had believed it was better than nothing. When they realized that no one truly cared about teaching them, many regretted attending the school. They had wasted their families' money on a school that had no interest in teaching them. Most of the time it was just self-study. The instructor would tell them to read whatever pages in their book and perhaps do a work sheet. Only once in a while the teacher would write on the blackboard and had lectures that the students were expected to pay attention to. Tests where ever present though, most of it being things they had to learn on their own.

Everything about being inside the room, about the procedures that was in place, the lack of energy coming from his fellow students, it all made Hinata sick. If he could have burned everything away to allow a new building to rise in its stead like a phoenix, he would have done it in a heartbeat. He would do anything to get away from being in the reserve course, even if it meant destroying himself in the process.

Junior high school was no different than primary school for him. Hinata continued to strive forward with a bright smile on his face. He still hadn't found his talent yet, but that was alright. He still had three years before high school. In that time he could continue to strive forward, like he was always doing. He would study frequently to keep his grades up so he wouldn't have to worry about passing the entrance examines. He would participate in club activates as well. Even though school had become harder, it didn't put him down. He was always a determined child, and believed that he could do anything as long as he reached out for it with all of his heart. That was what his friends liked about him the most. He was always going out of the way to get better all the while helping others out. No matter what situation they were in, he would place out his hand with a grin on his face saying he would always be there to help them out. They would say he could do it, more than anyone else they knew. That maybe his talent was his determination, that he could help anyone in need. To be a representative of hope, one had to be determined to follow their dream and help others, right?

By chance one day he ran into some of the main course students, a group of girls. He didn't need them to introduce themselves for him to know who they were. Just looking at them and their unique uniform gave him an intolerable sensation throughout his body that he knew where they belonged. They seemed just so damn happy, so proud of themselves, and it made him feel revolted. They didn't know about their suffering, did they? The hell the reserve course students went through so they could have all of their fun little toys? To have their warm meals day in and out? Would they even care if he brought up how their talents where encroaching on his sense of self? How they made him hate himself as much as he hated them and the school? How everything about them was destroying him on the inside?

He hated their cheerfulness, how happy they could be while he and so many others were suffering because they just couldn't be them. He was losing it, and he knew it. The school was abolishing who he once was, and he could never escape it. He didn't want to disappoint his family any further with his inability to be like them. He didn't want to embarrass himself any more around the people he had called his friends. Just another reason why he hated them, because of their natural abilities he was suffering. Thanks to them, he would never be accepted by anyone. Would he even get a job? Could he ever make friends outside of the people who were suffering with him? Would he ever be able to escape the burden of being a person who could say he attended Hope's Peak as a reject? Just as a mean to keep them happy?

He wanted to say something, anything to get out his frustration. He wouldn't care if they reported it. He just wanted to let them know what he and the other students had to pay to keep them happy. He didn't care if they would get pissed off, that was how he felt almost every day because of them after all. He didn't care if he was still in his uniform, the clothes that told the whole damn universe that he wasn't a part of the main course. The main course had such nice uniforms, made from the best material they could use. His though, it was like the school bought it from a store meant to help out the less fortunate. It showed how less they mattered compared to the students before him!

In the end he did nothing. He hated them, but on a personal level they had done nothing wrong. He knew they never intended to make his life hell, they probably didn't even know about what his course went through each day. His anger was there, but whatever was left of his sanity-or his kindness-prevented him from taking any reckless actions. Besides, only a coward would pick a fight with a bunch of girls minding their own business and enjoying themselves on their down time. It wasn't like they were talking shit about him.

One did take notice to him for whatever reason, and gave him a quizzical look. It was as if she wanted to ask him a question, but refrained from doing so because of her friends. Maybe she knew about what the reserve course students went through and wanted to look into it or something? Perhaps the look on his face screamed out the hatred he kept to himself kept her from doing so. Not like he wanted to talk to them, they were the cause of his suffering. She was playing with a camera the whole damn time, so maybe she just wanted to take a shot of his annoyed face to make fun of the reserve course? Or was it because she just knew something was off if people so close by looked so menacing all of the time? Like hell he would know.

When winter hit in his third year of junior high, he was sure he could make it. He had studied so much, done so much, and he placed so much faith into himself. His parents and friends too believed he could get in, so he also held their faith with his own as he strived forward. It was alright if he didn't find his talent just yet, because sometimes the school itself would help students find what they were good at. So when he mailed in his application to the school, he was ecstatic when he got his exam ticket. The school did go scouting for special students, but they also allowed anyone to apply for the written exams. Even if they didn't fit the criteria for the main course, if they were good enough they could attend the reserve course. He of course believed he would get into the main course. He had so much belief in himself, nothing could derail him from his dream. No matter what someone would say, no matter how cruel it sounded, it never got him down. Nothing could stop him from getting to where he wanted. He believed too much in himself to allow him to be brought down by jealous students.

In the early winter of his first year he got into a fight. An annoying asshole from the main course noticed him in the courtyard one day and started to talk shit about him with a sly smirk. Saying that he wasn't ever going to be as good as him. That he just wasn't lucky enough to be born with talent. He claimed the stars must have cursed him when he was born, or just didn't want to acknowledge his existence. That he didn't have enough hope, and would never have enough, to be a representative of hope. He then said in an egotistical manner that only those willing to sacrifice something to being forth hope could become an ambassador of the school.

Everything he said annoyed him. What did that guy know? He never talked to him before, so how would he know? He had sacrificed his free time, all of the chances to have fun with his friends, the possibility of going out with someone, all for the sake of hope! Everything he had done in his life was for the sake of hope, and being a student of the school! In the end all that hope he admired so much did for him was create anger to twirl around inside his body. That, and it had people like him. People who got a kick out of tormenting others who weren't lucky enough to have a special talent despite all of the effort they had placed in to reach their goal.

Something then overtook him. All of the anger he had built up was eating away at his insides. The part of him that had broken earlier in the year was urging him to take a strike. It wanted to burst out of his body, to cover the bastard in his anguish. To show him what it meant to lose one's sense of worth because he wasn't good enough. It wanted to control him, to make him do things he had never dreamed of. So for the first time he raised his hand to someone's face and applied force. He felt something evil being reflected in his eyes, the glint of his hate for everything around him shining brightly. He wanted to hit him, again and again. To make him suffer under his fists, to teach him a lesson for toying with someone's emotions. To feel the blood of hope being splattered on the ground, to be overcome by his anger. To show him what hope does to a person who was told on a piece of unfeeling frigid paper he wasn't good enough to be in the main course. All because of not being the best like them.

Before he could attack again, the other boy who had stumbled backwards a bit regain his footing and hit him back. He looked weak, his skin pale like his messy white hair, yet somehow he managed to strike him with much force. It caused him to tumble backwards, his footing sloppy with inexperience and no clear resolve. Before he could find a way to retaliate, he got a kick to his stomach. He toppled downwards as he let out a grunt of pain, which allowed the other one hit him three more times in the face. He heard him say that his emotions wasn't strong enough to beat hope. That his hate was weak, so shakable, that it couldn't overcome his hope.

With that final strike he allowed his back to fall onto the cold ground with a thud. With some blood seeping from his nose and his breath swaying in the cold, he looked up at the pale boy. Then, for a moment, he acknowledged those words. He knew the old him, the once happy and joyful Hajime, the one who never hated anything except mindless things, was still somewhere inside his consciousness. The him that admired people too much, the him who liked learning as much as he could about Kamukura Izuru. The boy who had always dreamed of shining inside the building he claimed to despise, to be a star with the people he claimed to hate. He could state he was filled with pure dread, but a part of the hopeful him was still there. The part of him that was always looking up to the academy. That was way he couldn't fight back, why his resolve to destroy everything was nothing more than complaints towards his daily life. He couldn't destroy anything, except maybe for himself, because he still cared a little bit. He knew that the boy was an asshole, but he shouldn't had struck him.

"You see, you just aren't filled with enough despair or hope," spoke the other boy hovering above him, who began to cough lightly, "To become hope, you have to sacrifice something important, something that could make up your whole existence. Say, your life. To be despair, you have to hate everything around you. To want to make everyone, be them innocent, corrupted, or a mere bystander, suffer under your hand. To fill them with nothing but despair so you can bathe in it, to feel ecstasy swell all over you. You aren't filled enough with either, so you are in the middle somewhere."

"You have to make your decision reserve course student. Do you want to become like me by sacrificing something dear, or do you want to feel nothing but your hate and cover the world in your despair?"

The day of the exam was bright. The sun protruded outwards greatly, and it was surprisingly warm for a winter day. The wind ruffled his clothing, but he didn't notice. The only thing dancing around his head was that the day had finally come for him to show the world who he was. Students filled the walkway, making it easy to tell where one was meant to go. There where so many young people, male and female alike. In the end they were all the same, for they all wanted to attend Hope's Peak in anticipation of becoming an ambassador of hope. To be able to get into a great university, to find a job where so many people looked up to them. All of those students wanted to shine like the stars they saw in the night sky, and would do anything to reach their goal. Between Hinata Hajime and all of those people his age, the only true difference in the end would be who was a true intellect. Who had the better skills, and who had a talent that outshined all the others who poured their hearts into their work. Who would be the select few to be raised into the night sky, and those who would fall back to Earth with shame?

He was sent to the principal's office the following day after school and scolded for his actions. Nothing more, nothing less. To his surprise, attacking someone better than him didn't warrant a thing. Not that his attack did much damage anyway. Usually when an underappreciated soul took out his anger, he would be sentenced to something painful. Be it prideful or physical, something would usually happen. Sometimes all would suffer for the action of one or a few. Just look at the Black Hand, a Serbian secrete military society. Their actions in killing Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary and his wife Sophie in Sarajevo lead to WW1. The actions of the few who were filled with hate made the lives of the many turn into an even worse hell. So when he left the room with the verdict to keep his actions in check, he was utterly surprised.

He determined that it was because of his good behavior. That he was a good student who did his work and kept his grades up. That he got off easy because he was a student who never caused any problems. Despite his hatred towards the place, he never once did anything truly reprehensible. That wasn't common among the irritated body of his course, for students where always trying to find a way to get their emotions across. So the white haired boy was right. He wasn't completely filled with hate, or as he putted, despair. He held onto a sliver of hope somewhere in his body for some reason. He just wasn't sure what that was.

The principal's office was in the main building, so he was able to see everything he couldn't have. The reserve course was only allowed inside the main if called upon by a staff member or for some sort of event. Compared to the halls he roamed, these looked as if they were encrusted with jewels or something. As expected, he began to feel jealous of those students. He didn't know them. He didn't know how they got where they were. He didn't know a thing about their past. All he knew was that they encroached on the reserve course's money and made them look horrible. His hate was built up on people he didn't know, people he supposedly didn't want anything to do with because they were better than him. So, perhaps that was where his hope laid. He hated people he didn't know, so if he grew to know them somehow, he would grow to like them. If he tossed away his blind hate, he would be able to like the people who bettered him.

"Like hell that would happen," he mumbled with his hands buried into his coat's pockets. That was nothing more than an illusion he told himself. He could never like the people who had a better life than him. It was human nature to hate people who were better off than themselves, especially when they took their money. The main course would always have things he couldn't get his hands on, no matter how much he tried. That was why he would hate, silently hate them from the sideline and curse them out in his head. Maybe he had a concussion from getting smacked around, and that could be blamed for his train of thought.

"You there, hold on for a second," he heard a voice call out to him in the hall. He turned himself around, though the first thing he thought was to ignore whoever wanted to talk to him. It was probably going to be another person like that white haired fellow. Just another person who wanted to screw with him because he wasn't as good as him.

"What do you want?" he asked in uncaring tone, his eyes cold and uninterested.

"I want to talk to you, that's all. I'm not here to pick a fight over something stupid."

He waited for the mail for what seemed like an eternity. Every day he would return home from his classes and ask if any mail came for him. He knew the answer was going to be a no no matter how many days passed so soon after the exam, but he couldn't help but ask anyway. So many people where filled with anxiety over what they scored on the exam. If they would be found as a person who had some sort of skill that would warrant special treatment over so many others. So when the day finally arrived, he tore through the envelope without a single hesitation. He understood their weaknesses, how they were afraid of being shot down. Hinata though, it didn't bother him. He was filled with so much excitement of seeing what the papers had to say to worry about the high percentage of not making it. When he held the crisp papers between his fingers, his eyes scanning the black characters, he felt something inside him change. For what seemed like the first time in his life, he felt despair circulating in his veins.

"I'm sorry to announce that you, Hinata Hajime, did not pass the talent section of your examination. You scored high on the exams, but did not showcase any special talent that would make you eligible as a student of the main course. However, you are eligible to attend the reserve course, which would allow you to have a higher education compared to other schools in your prefecture. In one way this could be seen as a disappointment, but with our excellent pool of teachers, I'm positive that you could still go far in this world."

He learned many things that afternoon, much to his surprise. The real reason he got off wasn't only because he was a good boy, but because the other one-Komadea was his name-was a trouble maker. He would often antagonize others for the hell of it. He wanted to see how they would respond to his words. To see what side they were on, hope or despair, and what they wanted to do in the world. No one really understood what he was talking about, and no one really cared. People would go along with it, but tried to refrain from actually talking about it because he tended to go on and on about it. It also didn't help that he had medical problems, and they were worried if they punished him, he would lash out because of it and make his condition worse or whatever. Ironic considering if something did happen, they had a nurse to help out in their class that is of course if she didn't freak out first or fall over something.

"Why exactly are you telling me this anyway?" he asked the person. They were in the hall standing off to the side, his back resting against the wall while chatting about the guy who pissed him off. It was funny actually, it was the same camera chick he saw back when he was out and about that one day earlier in the year. This time she was alone, so she didn't have to worry about her friends doing anything annoying or whatever.

"Because whenever that idiot goes around picking fights with the reserve course students, I like to talk to them. Besides letting them know he's just a jackass and he deserved it for antagonizing people he doesn't even know," she responded without any concern for her classmate, "Good job for you hitting him by the way. Most of the boys I talked to argued with him, but where to chicken to put him in his place. It be nice if someone did that to Kuzuryuu to get him to shut up for a change…" She mumbled the last part. If he remembered correctly that was the yakuza kid, no one in their right mind would pick a fight with him.

"Tell me this camera girl, is the main course students filled with a bunch of assholes?" he asked simply, his hands still buried into his pockets. He wouldn't be surprised if the class was filled with them. That was one of the reasons he gave for hating them.

"The name's Koizumi thank you," she responded with a huff of annoyance, "Sure, we have our fair share of asses, bitches, perverts, crybabies, morons, and eccentric nutcases. To be frank, it seems like the main course is filled with the eccentric odd types that normal and sane people are in the minority."

"Is that so? I guess they must be headache inducing," he responded with a small chuckle. So he was right after all. If they were a bunch of annoying fools, he felt better about hating them. They didn't deserve any special treatment if they acted like a bunch of rowdy asses.

"Most of the time yes," she responded with a sigh.

"You seemed like you wanted to talk to me before that one time, so what is it that you need?" he spoke to get straight to the point. He didn't want to waste his time around here. So far this chick wasn't too bad (what the hell is he thinking) for a main course student, but that didn't mean he wanted to put up with the others. If what she said was true, the majority would be a pain to deal with. That didn't seem enticing in the slightest.

"How would you rate the reserve course on a scale of one to ten?" she asked seriously, getting straight to the point.

"Can I use negatives?" he replied in the same serious voice. He didn't want to make the place sound nice to other people, if he did, what would that mean for his hate?

She took out a small notepad from her skirt pocket and started to jot something down, "That's perfectly fine. You're not the only one who has said that."

"Why do you care anyway?" he asked while turning his head to the side, "The reserve course serves as a mean of income for you, to keep you main course students happy and comfy. If I was you, I probably wouldn't give a rat's ass about other people." If he hadn't lost, if all of his hard work didn't mean nothing, would he really be able to sit by and take advantage of others? He wasn't sure how he would answer that considering his current situation and mind set.

"That's the problem. Using other people, forcing them into contracts to attend the school, and making them pay high prices to get nothing in return. I can't justify it by any means," she said in a serious tone, "I like the things we have, but it isn't fair that you guys get the short end of the stick. Plus, I hate seeing people look irritated and miserable all the time."

Well look at that. Someone from the main course who isn't full of themselves. He was always so sure they'd enjoy their dilemmas because it made things easier for them, "You know, you aren't that bad of a person. I expected the main course to be a bunch of jerks." Yet again he wondered, if he said he hated them just for who they are, why is he changing his opinion?

"We aren't all bad people thanks you," she responded with a light tone of annoyance.

He could refute that if he had evidence, but because he didn't he kept his mouth shut. There wasn't a need to argue with someone who actually gave a shit about his course, granted that was utterly surprising, "What was that you mentioned about putting that Kuzuryuu guy into his place? Is he as bad as to be expected from a yakuza kid?"

"You have no idea. I can't stand the way he acts. He never wants to corporate with the class, always ditches his classroom duties, and has no interest of getting along with anyone. You could do me a favor and give him a nice hit in the face," she spoke somewhat playfully.

"I'd like to live thanks. I don't want a bunch of suits killing me because I'd picked a fit with their boss's kid," he replied sincerely. He had no intentions of picking a fight with a guy like that. Normally, picking a fight with anyone was beyond his usual actions.

"He looks like a little kid actually. Has quite the baby face and is short."

"The answer is still no."

"Ehh, I tried. I can't blame you, umm-"

"It's Hinata. Hinata Hajime."

He couldn't forget the looks of his parents. They both had cold eyes, voices tainted with disappointment. They had known it was his dream, and pushed him to continue onwards. Yet when they heard his cries of anguish, the tears falling from his eyes as his legs gave out under him, all they had was dissatisfaction with him. They had a son that failed them. They had talked so much about having a son who would reach the academy, and in the end he didn't reach the main course. Everything they spouted would be turned around and used against them. They looked at him, and instead of comforting him, soothing him, saying that it was alright, they just stared. Perhaps they too felt his pain, or maybe they were mad. That they were angry with him for failing them. Annoyed that their only son couldn't do something after trying for so many years. In the end he didn't know if they felt compassion for him, or themselves. It didn't take long for them to ask if he got into the reserve course, and he shook his head up and down weakly. A slight smile crossed their faces, their eyes perking up a bit, and he heard the words from his father, "You aren't the best at anything, and may never be anything to the world, but you still did something most others couldn't do. You failed us in one aspect, yet in another you still managed to do better than others. Maybe in the reserve course, you'll find something you could do better than others. You may never know Hajime."

It was well into his second year that he had ran into another main course student who wanted to speak with him. That time it was a girl a year younger than him, and who had also held the name of Kirigiri. He wanted to have nothing to do with the principle's daughter. She would just cause him problems, he was sure of it. Yet instead of yelling her to go away, he refrained. He remembered that not all main course students where no good. Ironic, considering before how adamant he was on hating them. If someone called him a hypocrite, he wouldn't deny it.

"I won't waste my time with formalities. I just want to know something, if you had the chance, would you enjoy the chance of seeing this school collapse into nothingness?" spoke the girl. He wasn't sure why she asked such a question, just as much as to why she was wearing gloves during the end of August. He had no reason not to tell her anything of course. He would hate people from afar, yet somehow he managed to speak properly with them.

"I would love to see this place fall apart. I'm sure that my fellow course mate's would love it as well. This place cares only about the main course. Your father puts them before the rest of us for hope or whatever other bullshit he likes to spew. So yeah, if this place would never open its doors again or fall into hell, I would be very happy," he spoke from his heart.

"I see, so he truly has made the perfect scenario for an attack. That foolish man, he has placed so much attention into spreading hope from us, he put the reserve course on the sidelines. Such actions could end only in tragedy if things would continue on as it has," she spoke to herself, her raised hand to her chin.

"What do you mean Kirigiri?" he asked, unsure of what the younger girl was talking about. How he managed to be friendly to his enemy was beyond him once more.

She looked straight at him, her eyes serious, "Look at it like this Hinata. You spend three years in a school, bound by papers forbidding you from leaving because of fees. Such actions are expected from a company, yet this is a school. Such actions shouldn't be going on in the first place. Then there is the ordeal with the money. About ninety percent of it is used for the main course, such as paying the faculty and keeping the expensive facilities operating properly. Yet that money should be used for the reserve course. You stated you hate this place, correct? That you hate the administration and aim you detestation towards us of the main course?"

He nodded his head simply, and then she continued on, "Then you have this sense of loathing with you every day. A feeling that you can't escape. A sensation created by my father and his obsession with creating hope from us. Such a buildup of emotions could lead to serious actions against us or towards your course. For all we know, someone could take advantage of the emotional state your classmates are in and manipulate them for whatever reasons. Overall, this place is a ticking time bomb. If a student finally has enough of this place, they could go and retaliate in some way. It could be self-harm, or a massive attack."

"And then the media would build it up as something it isn't. Such as blaming video games or other medias for being too violent. Instead of a proper investigation into the school, it would be covered up and nothing be solved. In the end the only people who would end up suffering would be the students and some of the faculty, who may or may not deserve such things," he threw in. Such actions are common in America and other countries as of late, if a student loses it and hurts someone else or themselves, they always twist it around into being something it wasn't. So who's to say the same wouldn't happen at the academy?

"Exactly. Even so, things wouldn't operate the same in the school. More and more students could seek to do such things. Then more and more events would occur. On the other hand, if a large group would retaliate, who knows what may happen. Overall, I see this place falling apart in the future," she explained.

"What about your father? Why haven't you talked to the old bastard about what could happen?" he asked, his fist bailing into a fist. He was the cause of all of his problems after all.

"I've tried, and he continues to tell me that I'm worrying over nothing. That I shouldn't look too deep into it. No matter what I tell him, he refuses to listen to what I have to say. That is why I believe that something will happen here. I'm not sure when or how, but I'm positive the day will come when someone will take actions into their hands and destroy the image of this school permanently. I would like to have a full scale investigation, but giving the police documents obtained illegally would post a problem. Besides, I'm not sure how many would take me seriously," carried on the detective.

He raised an eyebrow to that, and before he spoke she answered his inquiry, "I may be viewed as the Ultimate Detective in this place, but in the work force many still have little faith in a high school detective with little actual field experience. Even more so a female one."

He wanted to joke that maybe she should go to a small town having a bunch of mysterious murders and pretend to be a boy and work on the case, but refrained so. He then scolded himself for thinking such thing, he hated them, doesn't he? No matter what, he would continuously blame them for his grievances. He shouldn't be changing his actions so much.

"Why did you come to me to talk about this anyway?" he asked. He should have asked that at the start, but was too curious as to what she wanted with him in the first place.

With a small smirk, something odd considering how serious she just look, she replied, "One of my sempai recommended you to me. She told me that despite how much you complain about the main course, you aren't a bad person. That you enjoy talking and getting along with the people you supposedly hate. You have ill will, and that is to be expected, but you are very willing to corporate with us in solving this problem and exposing it. One could say that despite your anger, you still admire the main course for what it's meant to be."

"Did you heard about Hinata? It seems that he managed to get into Hope's Peak, isn't that amazing?! I wish that I could go, but my grades just aren't good enough. Even cram school isn't enough to save them."

"Actually, I heard that he didn't make it into the main course. Instead he's going for the reserve course. Kind of sad actually."

"Reserve course? I never heard of that."

"Apparently, it's only for the students who didn't have a special talent. It's for the guys who worked their asses off studying, but just wasn't good enough in one area to warrant being admitted in the main course. I also heard that the fees are so ridiculously high that some people just say screw it and go elsewhere. I guess saying you attended the reserve course isn't worth it to end up getting into debt."

"Yeah. Though, what's the point of going there at all if it isn't the main course? Makes the whole, creating hope for the future nonsense they advertise so much seem moot if you're going to get stuck in the other course. If I was in that boat, I would feel like a complete reject."

"I understand what you mean, but look at it from a financial point of view. You get a bunch of smart kids who feel like shit 'cause they didn't make it in the main course, and offer them a second option. So many of them have to be so devastated 'cause they failed, and just the thought of attending the school's other course could raise their spirits up. So they have high prices and take advantage of them. Just your usual money lovin' asses."

"And he's just going to put up with that shit? I guess he's desperate. He wants to be something he can't be, and instead of moving on, he's clinging to his futile dream. I guess I feel both sorry for him, and want to smack him for his idiocy at the same time. He should just move on with his life instead of clinging to something stupid that's just going to piss him off in the end."

Conversations like that became the norm for him after the news spread around. He wasn't sure who found out, or if one of his friends went around talking about it, but day after day more and more kids where talking about his situation. Some gave him looks of pity, some said he was better off at a different high school, and then there where the ones who ridiculed him. Those who called him desperate, saying that if he couldn't get in, he would just end up being an average person like the rest of them. That clinging to that school would just bring him down, rewrite the person they knew. In a way they were right, but he just didn't want to admit it. He still wanted to attend the school, to be near them, and he still hoped that he could get in some way. Even if he said he would hate them, he still wanted to be like them. Even if he destroyed himself in the process, he still wanted to be like them.

By the time his third year came rolling around, he was sure that what Kirigiri (why was he still talking with her again) told him was true. The people around him had become lethargic, their attitudes had slowly changed throughout their second year. They seemed like they were absorbed in the ideology that those who had done them wrong would be punished soon. That the school that was meant to bring forth hope would be destroyed by despair of the students who had been treated like trash. It wouldn't be a surprise if he overheard students talking about the dawning of despair, or how soon their revenge would be put in action. He liked the idea of the place being condemned, but he never was a part of the conversation. More like he found no interest in their words.

His own classmates weren't the only ones that had changed. He had heard that the third years in the main course had started to act differently. Not only that, but it also started up during their second year. Yet there wasn't much proof. The only thing he heard was that people started to be quieter and more reserved than before. It probably started around the time of the double murders, both of which had gone unsolved somehow. That was also around the same time Koizumi (why did he also still talk with her) started to act differently.

That though had to be a cover up, and anyone could figure that out. He couldn't call her a friend, but Kirigiri did speak to him from time to time about what was going on and what she knew. She saw him as a reliable source of information from the reserve course, and him, he just liked to know stuff. She tried to speak with others, but they all mostly blew her off for obvious reasons. It wasn't like she had a badge to wave around to get them to talk with her. He learned that she didn't believe in the official report, and that something was being swept under the rug. It didn't surprise him at all, considering how things went on in the school. The corrupted always had things done their way, and there was no way of getting around it.

He wouldn't be lying if he said the murders didn't bother him, because if showed just how rotten the school was. Their own students died, yet they did everything they could to make it look like some sort of pervert was behind the crimes. Anyone with a brain could determine that the crime scene and the official paper work didn't match up at all. Hell, even the report given by the teachers seemed too sketchy to be true. The reserve course took the incident as the beginning of the main course's downfall, and didn't give a damn that two girls ended up dead for some reason. While he was just contradicting all of the information and making up a theory, while sometimes collaborating with Kirigiri.

Just by doing using some psychics he knew that nothing matched up. Without including the roof, the main building is five stories high, and assuming the building was similar to the usual design of school buildings and offices, it would end up being 32 meters and in feet around 106. The perpetrator supposedly jumped out of the music room's window. That room is on the fourth floor, so he would of fell around 28 meters or 92 feet. Then by taking the average Japanese man's weight to be around 64 kilograms it would take around 4.33 seconds to fall and with gravity being 9.8m/s2, he would end of having a velocity of around 23.42m/s. Then assuming the body didn't travel after impact and didn't have anything to cushion the fall, the impact force would be around 1,756,160 newtons. There was the possibility of the fall not killing the supposed person, but he would have been pretty beaten up. To the extent of ending up in a hospital with some broken bones and some ruptured organs. Though most of the time after 30 feet a person would die. So, depending on how quick the body was discovered, and if the police arrived early enough, they would have found him knocked out or dead on the ground or at least some blood belonging to him.

Yet the public was to believe that the guy who took such a fall came back and killed another girl. Even though the head was beaten in, the murder weapon was different in both cases. Plus, it didn't seem like any swimsuits went missing the second time around. Speaking of that, was he supposed to believe they didn't find any DNA at all? There was broken glass everywhere, and the guy didn't get a single nick with shards falling all over the place? Even if his calculations where off, he knew that the possibility of a police force believing such nonsense was low. Unless of course, someone was paid off to look the other way and make up a story for the public and the victims' families. Then all of the idiocy could pass. To him, it just made him hate the place even more than usual. He didn't like the main course, but it didn't mean they deserved to die.

It was also around that time he was approached by two men from the main course. He could tell by their clothing and the way they walked that they weren't apart of the reserve course. He gave them quizzical looks, but they seemed like they could be dangerous if pushed the wrong way. So instead of doing anything stupid, he asked kindly, "What do you need?"

"You're Hinata Hajime, correct?" asked one on the right in a black business suite.

"Yeah, I am. What do you need from me?" he asked, turning his head slightly.

"How would you like to become a true ultimate? To become the type of person you have always looked up to? You've worked hard enough, and we believe you have the capabilities to final move to the main course. Though the procedure can be seen as being unethical, it's up to you and you alone to make the call."

They were disappointed in him. He was angry towards himself and them for acting as if he didn't matter anymore. They wouldn't smile like they used to, they wouldn't say compassionate words to him, and they barely paid any attention to him. It was like all of his work truly meant nothing to them anymore just because he didn't make it into the main course. They couldn't brag about him to people they had known for a long time anymore. They couldn't make themselves look as great as they had before. They couldn't do much with a son who had failed their extremely high expectations of him. Even so, they all came to an agreement, him out of pure desperation and them for some minor satisfaction. Perhaps, it was because they just didn't want to look at him anymore. Or maybe because he just wanted to be by the place he always wanted to be at. To find a way to feel better about himself.

They had meet with the principle, and agreed to the school's terms. They signed him on for all three years, much like a contract for a television show. They had paid up front for his upcoming year in the spring, and would pay for his second and third year at the end of March. Unlike most schools, he signed that he would stay at the school for all three years. The contract was meant to keep students in, and if they tried to back out, they would end up paying large fees. All way around, principle Kirigiri only wanted to make money off of the reserve course, yet the Hinata family didn't care much. Perhaps they just didn't pay enough attention to the situation and the fine print. The son and parents both felt disappointment, and saw that the reserve course was better than a high school that would just bring about more shame to their family name.

He knew what he wanted. He knew what his answer would be. He didn't need to think about it, not even a second of thought was required, for he knew right away what he wanted to do. He would gladly throw away the Hajime he was for the sake of becoming someone else. He thought about that at the very start, didn't he? He always had believed that if he was a different person, then he would be able to become the type of person he had looked up to his whole life. That if he could destroy the person he was, he could truly reach his dream somehow.

Again and again he would say he hated everything. He would cry out his detestation of the world around him, and stated how everything should just fade away into oblivion. Yet he kept on acting like the good student he always was. He listened to his teachers, he did his work, and even without their help, he kept his grades up. If he had truly despised everything, acted on the hate and the lack of concern for his course, he would have done drastic things. Things that would have reflected the resolve he said he had in his heart. Even Komadea, someone who didn't know anything about him, saw straight through him. It took only one look and an observation of his actions to tell what he really thought. Just like Kirigiri, he saw that even if he hated them so much, why wasn't he filled with the despair that had invaded his course? He held onto hope, something that the other reserve course students had given up on. He held onto his dream, while so many others had given up completely.

He still wanted to become one of them. He hated himself for not being able to be like the people he had admired his whole entire life. He was pissed that all of his work meant nothing. He was angry because he failed his family, and wanted to shift his true anger onto something else. Anything else than to acknowledge that he was a complete and utter failure in the world that demanded excellence to survive. He would blame the main course, people he didn't even know, people he had always admired, because he couldn't be like them.

Yet as he gotten to know two of them, he remembered something. They were people he had looked up to, and if he had truly hated them without pulling in circumstances like how they behaved and how they got there, then he would have been no different than his fellow course mates. The children who only saw the rank of the people above them, the people they had hatted for being given everything while they were preyed upon like baby animals. If he had truly hated them, to have the feeling of wanting them to fall into despair, to have their blood trickle down his hands, he wouldn't have been where he was. He wouldn't have talked to them at all.

In the end, it wasn't them who deserved to be despised, it was him. He hated everything about who he was, because being himself was the cause of his failure. Being Hajime meant hating people for no good reason. He was so consumed by his anger and jealousy, that he started to hate everything just because people where better than him. While there where many things that was justified to be hated, many of them weren't. So much of it was just petty things created by his inability to be what he wanted. By being him, he became weak and bitter towards people he always idolized. The person he was, the feeble, overly jealous, useless, and so many more flaws was why he couldn't get as far as he desired.

He didn't want to live his days out blaming himself again and again. He didn't want to nitpick everything he did because it wasn't up to par with the students of the main course. He wanted to try to live as himself, to be the weak person he was because he had no true mean of changing who he was. So he warped his thought process. He changed his hate from himself to the world around him, to people he still thought where worthy of praise. Every time he saw them, he felt the urge to tell them to go to hell. In all actuality, he wanted to tell that to himself. To tell the person he was to die and burn for an eternity because he couldn't be like the other people that stood before him. To be with the people he tried to reach for far damn long.

His hate for the school conditions though, that wasn't something he made up in his mind. He did hate how they got shit, how their money was wasted on others, and how no one cared about them. Such treatment of people was way the school was changing. Why his classmates where turning to despair under the name of the school that had always promoted hope to the whole world. So, why did he start to think that they all deserved such a thing as punishment?

"Why waste money on the worthless people, when it could be given to the people who would spread hope?" he said lowly, darkly, to himself while waiting for old man Kirigiri to show up. He wasn't sure where the guy was, but he was bound to show up sooner or later. He had went to his office while he was out to give him his answer.

He knew that they weren't worth the money. He hated that, yet he started to believe that they truly deserved their treatment. No one would ever care about the worthless reserve course students because they couldn't do anything. They would always be at the bottom, and would never be able to rise up unless they destroyed themselves. The anger they all felt, they all directed it elsewhere rather than onto themselves. They couldn't take the pain of knowing how they were worthless, knowing that everything they worked upon would just be handed over to their betters. How they latched onto the academy out of a sense of desperation that transformed into rage when they recalled how insignificant they were to the school. It was there invincible fate, like so many others in the world, they had to give things up to the people better than them.

"That's how the world is, right? The weak work and then the strong take everything," he spoke while an odd smirk crossed over his face, a sense of euphoria spreading over him, "We work and work, and all we have left is our pain and suffering! That's way communism took such a hold over Russia, and was the reason for the rise of the Bolsheviks!"

That was about to change though. As his last minutes as Hinata Hajime ticked away, he would let everything out. He hated himself more than anything else for being unable to reach his dreams. He was the worst of the worst, the lowest scum on the planet. Yet, knowing that his suffering would push the people he admired, the people who would accomplish things, even if most of them wouldn't truly be able to spread hope, he didn't mind. He would gladly sacrifice his meaningless existence to help those better than him. Before he just wanted to hide those feelings, because it would just pull him down.

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" he spoke with some twisted laughter, "I don't need to worry about that now! I'll be done with this existence, and then I'll be something I've always wanted to be! I can finally be an ultimate! I can be an ambassador of hope! If being worthless was meant to create this new, powerful and wonderful person, then so be it!"

That was the difference between him and the other reserve course students. They couldn't hold onto hope, and all they felt was dissatisfaction. They lost the sight of their ambition in a dark, starless night sky. He though, he was able to hold onto that small sliver, something all of those other kids couldn't do. They allowed themselves to fall into the grasp of the purest revulsion, despair. He though, despite swimming around in his own pool of abhorrence, he didn't drown like the rest of them. One could say, instead of being caught between the two as it was assumed before, he was both. He had despair for himself, his inabilities of reaching his dream, and the cruel reality of the world. Yet he held onto hope for a new him deep down in his mind. The person he wanted to become, the person he would be after destroying the him ridden with despair and weaknesses. The person who would be hope itself and bring a new light to the world.

As the principle walked into the room with some the men from before and someone who looked like a scientist, he had one last thought. This was a school that was supposed to bread hope, but managed to create a person filled with despair for himself and the world. Yet, that person still felt hope for the new him he wanted to be ever since he failed to enter the school as a part of the main course, and the other main course students. The people he admired so much. What type of person would he become, he pondered as he spoke with eyes filled with twisted determination, "I'll gladly destroy Hinata Hajime to become a new person. If being me means ridicule for the rest of my life and the inability to make a change, then let that me be deconstructed for a new, superior being. If possible, the new me would like to have a new name as well. Kamukura Izuru."

Yeah, that's right. Why take a boring name, when he could become the person who created the place he had looked up to his whole entire life? He was hope himself when he founded Hope's Peak Academy. Since he's going to become hope itself, the epitome of a representation of it, might as well have a badass name to reflect it. Right?

When he saw the building, he was happy. He had always dreamed of seeing it in person, and was finally able to. He couldn't walk into the main building unless he was called to speak with the principle or for some other reason. Even so, the chance to see it left an unchangeable feeling inside him. No matter how bad his life may be, no matter how much he would be ridiculed, just being able to see the building every day made would make him smile. It was a beacon for what was possible for the world. No matter how much he hated the world, being able to see that building reminded him of something. One day, if he could toss away the person he was, to be recreated as someone with worth, he would gladly do it for the school. This school existed for the sake of humanity, and to him, sacrificing himself for a better world was better than living a life that wouldn't accomplish a single thing.

Wow, this was a lot. This is the longest one shot I've ever written, and I hope it was enjoyable. I don't know if I should like this, or hate it right now. I like it in some parts, and then in others I want to shove it out of the window. I like going into detail, but I didn't want to go overboard for a one shot. I tried keeping the other characters out, but they still managed to wriggle their way into my train of thought. There were also other things I wanted to add, but that would have made this even longer than it already is. If I turned this into a multi chapter story, I'm sure I could explain everything fully. Though that wasn't my original intention, I can't help but feel like writing one. Plus, I hope I did that physics part right, it wasn't one of my best subjects, and that alone took like an hour and a half to do. If anyone notices any problems, please help me know and some help would be appreciated. I like The Game Theorists, but my brain can't do all of that math stuff without a problem. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this somehow. Oh, and of course review it. Oh, and a funny thing. Fanfic messed up my formatting but somehow the part with Komadea came out unscathed. Rather lucky, huh?