Characters: America, Billy, Cassie, Eli, Kate, Noh-Varr, Teddy, Tommy, Loki, kid!Loki (going by Serrure in this fic)
Pairings: Billy/Teddy
Warnings: mind control, body-snatching aliens, anxiety, mentions of self-harm, dehumanization of an alien character
Notes: Inspired by Avamorphs by suzukiblu. This isn't quite a Young-Avengers-in-the-Animorphs-World AU, as some details of the setting (Skrulls and Kree instead of Andelites, etc) are from Marvel. Skrulls don't have a two-hour limit in morph (or else Teddy couldn't have been raised human), but the humans with morphing ability do.
I was motivated to post more Loki-centric Young Avengers content by an anonymous reviewer who left me a message on Soulmates (are no excuse). This fic actually includes Loki (Agent of Asgard) and Kid Loki as separate characters, making this fic contain 100% more Loki than usual.
To my anonymous reviewer (you know who you are): It must kill you to know that someone, somewhere is enjoying themselves. U mad, bro?
"I'm sorry!" pleads the slug wrapped around Serrure's brain. "I was ordered into this host; it wasn't my decision!"
"It is now," America replies, glaring dispassionately down at her friend's body lying huddled in the dirt.
Serrure Loki 645 inhales sharply. Ze couldn't have mistaken her meaning: Get out of Serrure's head.
Serrure's eyes glance to each of the other Animorphs, but of course no one will step in. No one will step forward to defend the creature that's been controlling their teammate's body.
No one says it, but everyone is thinking the same thing:
Get out or we'll make you.
The yeerk lifts up Serrure's hands and brings them to his left ear. With a wet slurping sound, and a quiet pop, a small greyish slug falls out of Serrure's ear and into his hands.
He immediately starts to cry.
My name is Billy. I can't tell you my last name, or where I go to school. I can't even tell you where I live. If I do, the yeerks will find us, and then there will be no one protecting Earth from the invasion.
I know it sounds incredible, but there are aliens among us. You've probably seen one, even if you didn't realize it at the time. The Skrulls are shape-shifters, and can look like anything they want. The pink Kree are hardly distinguishable from humans at all. But they aren't the dangerous ones. The aliens you really have to look out for are the yeerks.
Yeerks are parasitic slugs in their natural form. A hundred years ago they lived in shallow pools on their home planet. Then a Kree accidentally gave them space travel and the whole Universe is still regretting it. They've been invading planets ever since. A yeerk crawls into your head through your ear and wraps itself around your brain. Once it's there, you can sense everything that happens to you, but you can't stop it, because the yeerk is in control. It will walk your body to school or to work. It will eat your breakfast for you and talk to your family. The worst part? It has access to all of your thoughts and memories, so it can impersonate you perfectly. No one will ever notice a difference.
Anyone could be controlled by a yeerk: your best friend, your boss, even you.
And that's why I can't tell you who I am. It's too risky. Anyone could be a yeerk.
Even one of us.
We call ourselves the Animorphs. We're Earth's last hope against the invasion. I know we don't look like much, a handful of mismatched teenagers against bodysnatching aliens, but there's more to us than meets the eye.
Eight months ago, we were just six normal teenagers walking home from school. We took a shortcut through a condemned building that night, and our lives changed forever.
We found a dying alien: a Skrull princess. She told us about the yeerk invasion, and before she died she gave us a way to fight back. With Skrull morphing technology, we can turn into any animal we touch. We can be as small as an ant, or as large as a hippo. We can be fast as a cheetah or as observant as an owl.
We may not have magic or super-strength, but for lack of better word
we're superheroes.
We've been keeping the yeerk in a jar. It's maybe three inches long, and flat like a fluke. It doesn't have eyes or ears, so I'm not worried that it will know I'm there as I watch it swim idly in circles.
I wonder if it knows what we're going to do to it. Actually, I wonder what we'll decide to do with it. To survive, yeerks need a nutrient that isn't native to the Earth. Every three days they have to leave their hosts to absorb Kandrona radiation in one of their hidden yeerk pools.
Depending on how long it's been since it visited the pool, we may not have to do anything. It may just starve in that jar, unseeing and unaware.
The yeerk's name is Loki 645, according to Serrure. The real Serrure, that is, not the one we've been working with for the past eight months. The poor kid cried his eyes out as soon as he was free. Tears leaking down his cheeks, he still tried to tell us his story, to warn us about the yeerk threat and what he'd seen at the yeerk pool.
Some hosts fall to the ground when they're freed. They aren't used to being in control of their body anymore and have to get used to moving their mouth and supporting their own weight again. Serrure spoke as clearly as was possible through sobs, and had no trouble standing.
"Loki 645 wasn't in control the whole time," Serrure told us. "Ze isn't very good at pretending to be 14. Ze had me go to school on my own, but there was always the threat that it would take control if I stepped out of line, or tried to tell someone."
He's still a bit shaken, but he's calmed down since last night, when we first freed him from his yeerk.
Talking to Serrure now is just unsettling. The way he acts is familiar, but not exactly the same as I'm used to. Gestures and facial expressions I thought were integral to his personality are now completely absent. Was that Loki 645? How much of our teammate was made up?
Serrure's been a yeerk host for so long, I'm not sure I even remember how he acted before he was infested.
How did we not notice? How did we not know our teammate was a yeerk?
"This is a rescue mission," Kate announces to the group. We're all hanging around this storage space that her dad technically owns. It's only about the size of a classroom, but we still call it the Warehouse.
My twin brother Tommy has been lying flat on his back on a bench, but he almost jumps up at Kate's words.
"Rescue mission?" he asks. His best friend David is a yeerk host. Ever since Tommy found out, he's been waiting for a chance to rescue him. There haven't been many opportunities.
Eli frowns at Tommy and shakes his head slightly. Tommy ignores him, and continues to stare at Kate.
"The yeerks are going to notice when Serrure doesn't show up to the yeerk pool on schedule," Kate continues. "They'll want to know why."
"They'll re-infect him if they find him," Eli says grimly
"So, what?" Tommy asks, "We keep hiding him in the Warehouse forever?"
That doesn't seem realistic. Even Noh-Varr doesn't live here 24/7, and although this area is pretty low-traffic, someone is bound to notice if the Warehouse is constantly occupied by a teenager.
"Maybe they won't notice?" Tommy says hopefully. "I mean, what did they want with scrappy little Serrure, anyway?"
"Oh shit," America realizes. "Don."
My stomach drops, and we all turn to look at each other in horror. Don is a med student, and Serrure's half-brother. Serrure adores Don, wants to be just like him.
The thing is, Serrure is just a kid, barely 14. Other than the morphing power, there's no reason for the yeerks to bother with such an inconsequential host.
Except that their dad is a Senator. And if Serrure's off the table…
"We can't just kidnap a college student," Teddy says, "can we?"
"Where would be put him?" I wonder aloud.
No one answers. We all trade glances. It has never been more obvious how ill-prepared we all are to thwart an alien invasion. We haven't even graduated high school. We've been lucky and careful, but we don't really know what we're doing.
"If we can't remove Don, we can stop the yeerks from realizing Serrure's free," Noh-Varr suggests. Noh-Varr is fairly new to the team, and to Earth. He's a Kree, probably one of the last free Kree in the sector. They blew up their own planet to keep it out of yeerk hands, but most of the survivors are yeerk hosts regardless.
"We're not sending Serrure back into the yeerk pool," America says firmly, leaving no room for argument.
Without meaning to, I glance back at Serrure, sleeping fitfully on a makeshift bed. I agree with America. I don't even want to send Serrure home to his jerk-ass dad, let alone sending him, alone, into an alien base.
"Maybe Serrure doesn't have to go."
I whip my head around, because that was Serrure's voice!
And there he is, 14 years old and looking like trouble, his lips pulled into a knowing smirk.
The clothes are wrong: over-large and sagging around his body.
"Teddy?" I ask. He's the only one of us who can morph into human form. He says it takes practice, and he's certainly had enough, growing up with his shapeshifting powers. It's easy to forget that Teddy is really a Skrull, since he was raised as a human for the past 15 years.
"They're going to find out," I tell them, my anxiety rising. Going into the yeerk pool? Sending Teddy, my boyfriend, into the den of body-snatching aliens?
I try to swallow around the lump in my throat.
"You can't," I try to tell him. I get half of the words out before my voice turns into a shriek. I snap my jaw shut.
"We won't send him alone," Noh-Varr reassures me, all military professionalism. His tone is somewhat less effective now that I've seen him flail in excitement over the new Nicki Minaj album.
Eli asks something, but the exact words are indistinguishable under the roar of thoughts rushing through my head. Noh-Varr's answer somehow makes it through.
"Well, someone has to morph the yeerk."
And isn't that a disgusting thought? Shrinking down, losing limbs and hair and eyes and everything that makes us human. Becoming a parasite, a mind-controller.
"I'll do it," I rasp, because I can't just let Teddy go without me.
"No, you won't," Eli says. He acts like he's the leader, but we aren't military. We don't have a strict hierarchy. I glare at him and look to Kate, but she shakes her head too.
"Billy, you can barely breathe just thinking about this," Kate says, not unkindly. "You don't have to take every mission."
There's nothing more to say. I concentrate on evening out my breathing as my teammates continue to plan.
Eli will morph yeerk.
Teddy will morph into Serrure, and will enter the yeerk pool with Eli in his pocket. He'll kneel at the edge of the pool and drop Eli in, making it look like the yeerk is coming from his ear. ("No one will be looking that closely," Noh-Varr reassures them, "it's not the incoming hosts they have to worry about.") Kate and America will morph bugs and ride in on Teddy's clothing. Serrure assured them that Loki 645 hadn't told zir superiors about the Animorphs (for whatever reason), but Kate and America will try to make sure their cover is safe. They'll do some recon, and if they have an opportunity they'll sabotage some equipment. Tommy and Noh-Varr will be hawks, playing lookout. After one and a half hours are up, Teddy will be forced to the end of the pier again to reclaim his yeerk. Eli will make sure to be there, or risk having to de-morph in a pool full of parasites.
"Try to pick him up with slight-of-hand, but if your head is forced under, Eli may have to infest you to keep out other yeerks," Noh-Varr warns. Eli and Teddy share uneasy glances, but it can't be helped. They can't let Serrure's cover be blown, can't be responsible for Don's infestation.
My job is to stay and watch over Serrure.
All the fight has drained out of me, and I just nod and wave away my friends' concerns as they prepare to leave.
"I'll be fine," I hear myself say. "Serrure's safe with me." I try to smile, but the effort is too great.
"We'll be back soon," Teddy whispers in my ear. He leans in for a kiss, and I move my head so that he hits cheek instead of lips. He looks surprised, but doesn't push. He just squeezes my shoulder and turns to go, shifting into Serrure's smaller form as he walks.
Teddy's morphing is almost graceful. It starts from one hand and spreads outward, the color shifting first. Teddy's ruddy complexion being replaced with Serrure's olive skin. Black hair replaces blond. His facial features shrink and change: the jaw softens, the nose sharpens, eyes shift position just slightly in his skull. Then, all together, his body shrinks. Serrure is the shortest of the group, and Teddy is the tallest, along with Noh-Varr. Watching one turn into the other would be hilarious at any other time.
"Bye," I breathe as the door to the Warehouse closes. I open up my backpack and dig out my 3DS. With Serrure asleep, I need something to distract me.
Ten minutes into the mission; 110 to go.
Tap tap tap goes my stylus on the card table.
Tap tap tap goes my foot on the floor.
Serrure is still asleep, or pretending to be.
Twenty-five minutes into the mission; 95 to go.
I snap my fingers in front of Serrure's face. He grimaces but doesn't otherwise react.
I guess he really is asleep.
Forty minutes into the mission; 80 to go.
My 3DS runs out of battery. Noh-Varr lives here in the Warehouse on and off, so there's a stolen generator hidden under a crate. I could use it to charge my DS, but what if someone hears it and comes to investigate?
Anyway, as I look over at the crate housing the generator, I think to myself, that seems like a lot of work.
One hour into the mission; one hour to go.
A thought strikes me: what if Serrure was a voluntary host? What if we can't trust anything he says? What if the yeerk made plans Serrure doesn't know about, or what if there are security measures in the yeerk pool Noh-Varr hasn't heard of?
Dozens of contradictory possibilities fill my brain, but they all agree on one thing: What if it's a trap? What if all of my friends are captured? What if it's only me left?
Serrure slumbers on, and I reassure myself that the mission isn't over yet.
My team will return, safe.
75 minutes into the mission, 45 to go.
Serrure has been infested for longer than we've had morphing powers. I became friends with a yeerk. I played video games with a yeerk. Teddy argued with a yeerk over which pokemon generation is the best. A yeerk introduced Noh-Varr to pancakes and bacon. Kate taught a yeerk how to play gin rummy. Tommy pushed a yeerk into the swimming pool this past summer. A yeerk habitually tags after America, teasing her like an unwanted little brother.
A yeerk looked up at Teddy in awe and declared that he was 'an improbably dashing prince'.
My eyes are drawn to the mason jar holding the yeerk. Loki 645 swims on, unaware.
90 minutes into the mission, 30 to go.
What if Don is already infested? What if the team has already lost? What if Teddy was found out, and he's sitting in a cage with the other hosts, screaming for me right now?
What if Serrure never wakes up? What if the yeerks already know about the team? What if Serrure wasn't the only one who has been infested?
What if Eli is being controlled by a yeerk, too? What if it's Kate?
What if it's Teddy, and our whole relationship has been an act?
I tap my fingers on the top of Loki's jar and wonder,
'What do the yeerks know? What have you told them?'
115 minutes into the mission, 5 to go.
Snap snap snap goes the rubber band on my wrist. Tiny jolts of pain run through my arm at each snap, but it's not enough to distract from my racing thoughts.
The team is almost back, I remind myself. Don't do anything stupid.
They'll be back soon.
125 minutes into the mission, 5 minutes overdue.
I try to wake Serrure again, but he's still out cold.
Snap snap snap goes the rubber band, but it isn't enough anymore.
I try to remember the list of substitutes that Teddy gave me. I can imagine exactly what it looks like, taped to the wall beside my desk at home. "Alternatives to Self-Harm" it says in big blue letters. Underneath is a list. 1: rubber bands. 2: Ice. 3… what was 3?
137 minutes into the mission, 17 minutes overdue.
They could be dead they could be captured they could be infested
I need to calm down. I need to breathe naturally, but I can't. I suck in air desperately instead.
If I was a normal kid I could just call Teddy, or my mom. But I can't because Teddy is on a mission and my mom can't know about yeerks so instead I'm shaking Serrure's shoulder because I can't be alone right now.
145 minutes into the mission, 25 minutes overdue.
I can't
be alone
right now
The care I take in unscrewing the lid of the yeerk's jar belies a calmness I don't feel. My thoughts are racing and my breath is close behind.
Serrure slumbers on, unaware of the mistake I'm about to make.
I slip a hand into the jar. The water sloshes out and onto the floor. I wrap my fingers around the yeerk, which isn't as easy as it sounds. It's slimy and sleek and doesn't want to be held, but I grab it firmly.
Handing someone else control seems wonderful now, but I know I won't feel that way later.
The team is 25 minutes overdue.
They're dead or captured or worse.
There's nothing to risk now.
I bring the yeerk up to my ear.
Loki 645 tentatively reaches out and connects to the host's senses. Ze blinks the host's eyes. Ze glances around the room. 'We have eyes,' ze notes.
The clarity and wavelengths of light visible tells Loki 645 that the host is human, without even connecting to surface thoughts. The room is familiar: the Warehouse.
Serrure is sleeping in the corner.
But- if not Serrure- who is the host?
Loki 645 reaches further, and brushes the host's thoughts.
Fear regret hopelessness come and go in a flash, leaving only a cloying, heavy emptiness behind.
Loki 645 doesn't understand what's happened, why ze is here and not dead or in the jar. Ze touches the host's recent memories-
Billy flinches back, lashes out. Loki 645 is not fully integrated into the host's Billy's mind, so the gesture works. Billy's memories are cut off.
Loki saw something, though. Ze saw enough.
When the team returns half an hour later, triumphant and covered in yeerk pool fluids, they find Serrure still sleeping off Noh-Varr's Kree sedatives, the yeerk's jar empty, and Billy sitting on the floor in the middle of the room apparently playing tic-tac-toe.
"What'd you do to the slug?" Tommy asks casually, ringing out his skintight morphing shirt. A couple teaspoons of sour liquid form a puddle on the floor around him.
Billy points to his own head and smiles in an unfamiliar way.
"Billy decided he needed a chaperone," Loki 645 says with Billy's voice. "And FYI, tic-tack-toe doesn't really work when you share brainspace."
I'm stupid and weak and I could've gotten all of us killed. If Loki 645 had fully integrated into my brain, if ze had taken control, ze could have made me kill Serrure, or betray my team. Ze could have had me lead my own parents right into the yeerk pool, and I wouldn't have had any way to stop it.
I'm a superhero. I'm the last hope for humanity. I should be brave and strong but I'm scared all the time. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm just so tired I guess it felt like it would be worth it to have someone else in control for once.
Loki isn't in control, though. We're not even really fighting for it. If I consciously decide to move or speak, I can do it, but so can Loki. If I'm not thinking about keeping my body still, ze can make us sit up or walk over to the door.
It's weird. Scary.
But… it's not bad.
"Get the fuck out of Billy, you disgusting piece of shit," Tommy hisses, pushing our my shoulder against the packing crate that hides Noh-Varr's generator.
Loki 645 blinks our my (fuck it) our eyes innocently. I didn't even know I could do that.
I can't read the yeerk's mind or anything, but we're some level of enmeshed, with zir entire body wrapped around my brain like this. I can feel loose ideas and feelings at the periphery of Loki 645's presence, as if there's some amount of emotional bleed-through going on.
There's sharp, cold fear there, and dense, sticky guilt. But there's also an undercurrent of excitement, and a small, carefully protected kernel of hope.
I never really thought about yeerks feeling those things before. I guess I assumed yeerks were all about domination and hatred.
Loki 645 is mostly petty annoyance and sarcasm, so far. Even though Loki 645 is an alien, it's like talking to Tommy or Kate more than Noh-Varr.
"Maybe if you asked us nicely," my voice purrs. I know we're saying it only because I can feel my lips moving. The way Loki 645 talks is entirely unlike me, and not identical to Serrure, either.
I haven't really thought about yeerks having personalities, either.
"How did it even get out of its jar?" Teddy asks the group in general, nudging the open container of liquid with his foot.
"Billy can't have don't it himself, right?" America says, furrowing her brows in doubt. She crosses her arms and leans her weight onto her left side, as she does when she's uncomfortable.
"He's smarter than that," Eli replies, and I can no longer tell whose guilt is more pronounced: the yeerk's or my own.
"Yeah, no one would want a slug in their brain," Tommy agrees. His way of defending me is to make stupid backhanded jokes at my expense, and this is no different. Tommy doesn't really do feelings, but I've seen him rip out the throat of a yeerk-controlled human before, and I know he wouldn't be this gentle with any other host.
Loki 645 and I are silent.
Surprisingly, it's Noh-Varr who comes to the rescue.
"There are voluntary yeerk hosts," he reminds us. The team is silent, probably remembering their recent trip to the yeerk pool. I've been down there only once, on the first mission we took as a team all those months ago. The pool complex is a vast underground cavern that spans an entire city block. In the center is the actual pool, a deep tank inset in the concrete floor, full of murky greenish water and thousands of tiny slimy slugs. One wall is lined with metal cages that house the human hosts while the yeerks feed. They shake the bars, scream and cry and pray and even sing, sometimes, so loud you can barely hear anything else.
Further out, there are the more solid cells for the alien hosts, Kree and Skrull and Hork-Bajir, who are stronger and more dangerous than humans, and need stronger bonds and more guards to prevent them from escaping.
I only caught glimpses of the voluntary host lounge.
There are no bars, no chains, no screams there. A single Kree stands guard, but there's little need; the human hosts who wait there wouldn't try to escape. They want to be there, for whatever reason. They have a couch and a shitty TV and I think I saw two teenagers playing X-Box.
I wonder if Call of Duty can drown out the screams.
My teammates likely saw the same things today. The memory must be even more fresh in their minds.
I glance between my teammates and find an extra head.
There's a short blonde girl standing behind Eli, mostly hidden from my view. She's wearing jeans and a hoodie, but she's still rubbing her hands along her arms as if she's cold.
Loki 645 has noticed her, too.
'That's another host from the school,' ze tells me, speaking only in my mind. 'Her yeerk is Doom 362.'
"You saved someone?" I say in amazement. We all went in that first time to spark a jailbreak. We barely made it out in one piece.
Eli steps closer to the girl, as if to protect her from us.
'What's her name?' I ask Loki 645.
Ze is silent. I reach out, but feel only the existing mix of fear/guilt/excitement/hope. Then, something else floats to the surface: trepidation.
'I don't know,' ze admits. 'It didn't seem important at the time.'
My team stares at us. They look as tired as I am. They look young and weary and unprepared for the responsibilities a dying Skrull princess foisted on us. Kate's hair is a rat's nest, Teddy's shirt is covered in slime, Eli looks like he went three rounds with the Hulk, and Tommy looks like a drowned raccoon.
I look past them all at the little blonde girl who might be the only person less prepared for this than we are.
"I'm Billy," I tell her. "and Loki 645," my yeerk adds.
"Cassie," she says. I expected her voice to be timid or raspy from disuse, but it's not. It's clear and strong, like iron molded by a blacksmith's hammer. She steps forward, passing Eli to look me in the eyes, and I recognize her.
She's in Serrure's class. Her step-dad is the cop who comes to school periodically to teach us about 'the dangers of drug addiction'. I wonder if he's the reason she was infested, or if she just was in the wrong place at the right time.
I'm not sure what to do about my team or about my the yeerk, but I know what to do with angry, damaged teens. I pull my lips into a smile I don't feel.
"Welcome to the Animorphs."
End Notes: In canon, Loki subsumed kid Loki into zirself, thereby destroying kid Loki as a separate entity. Ze does come to regret this action, and tries to redeem zirself. But I thought, what if Loki had the option to give kid Loki his life back? What would Loki have left, without the child's body or identity or role? Wreaked by guilt and craving personal contact, which option would Loki choose?
If the plot hadn't demanded she not, America likely would have stomped on the yeerk as soon as it vacated Serrure's head. This group of Young Avengers are less averse to killing enemies than the canon, superhero version. They're alone, fighting a guerrilla war against body-snatching aliens. They can't afford to have much mercy.
Serrure is going to be pissed when he wakes up.