Suzako sighed as she entered the barracks, exhausted from the drills they had been running all day. Her company hadn't been needed in combat for quite some time, so for a while now it had just been training, training, and more training. The only things going on in Area 11 recently had been random acts of terrorism, but the Knight police had been mainly dealing with that. It had been petty acts of violence after all since the terrorist cells still left simply didn't have the capability to do anything else. Part of her was tempted to leave the military and join up with the JLF like she had been expected to after the invasion, but she knew she couldn't. The only way to change Britannia was from the inside, so she'd put up with the racism and harassment for now. She just hoped that eventually, she'd get her chance.
Just as she was taking off her combat armor, the door flew open and the other privates housed in her barrack spilled in. "Hey, Kururugi," one of the sneered as he walked by her bunk, punching her in the shoulder. She winced, not daring to respond, but he only laughed. "What's the matter, can't take a hit?"
She just grimaced and tucked her combat armor under her bot as another private called out, "Hey, give the guy a break. He's only an Eleven after all, they're all weaklings." The barrack burst into laughter as the privates did the same as she was, stripped off their combat armor and putting on their recreational uniforms. She tried to make the switch as quickly as possible, just keeping the body suit that was worn under the armor on as she slipped into the recreational uniform. Even harder than the bullying and harassment was concealing her identity as a female.
After staying in hiding over the years with her mother and cousins, she had been requested to join the JLF. As the Prime Minister's daughter, she'd make a useful figurehead, but they wouldn't let her fight. They'd just use her as a symbol of hope, and perhaps would marry her off to some other leader of a resistance group. Either way, it wasn't what she desired, and besides, terrorism wouldn't bring back Japan. It had to be changed from within.
So, when she turned 16 she had left the current safe house she had been staying at and had applied to become an Honorary Britannian and upon being accepted enlisted as an infantryman in the Britannian military. The military was reluctant enough to accept Elevens, much less Eleven women, so she had cut her hair, worked to slightly deepen her voice, and disguised her appearance. In a fluke, she had managed to bypass the physical exam mainly because most of the doctors didn't want to waste their time on an Honorary Britannian. As long as the soldiers were even semi-capable of fighting, it didn't matter. They were expendable anyway.
Since then, it had become harder and harder to conceal her true identity. Of course, the soldiers in the Britannian military only recognized the name Kururugi, and not specifically her name, Kururugi Suzako. It was simple enough to just write her name down as Suzaku instead of Suzako on the forms and no one was the wiser. So far, the hardest part was just finding times to shower when no one else was around.
They had finished training unusually early today thanks to a terrorist attack. Their superiors had given them time to "mourn" for the citizens caught in the crossfire, but to be honest they were all desensitized to the terrorist attacks and the deaths were merely statistics at this point. Even so, they all relished the chance for a little free time and a break from the military lifestyle. Suzako figured that she might spend some time in the Knightmare simulators. No one would be around anyways, and times like these were the only chances she ever got to get even close to piloting a Knightmare frame. Her scores were the highest in her company by far, but everyone including her knew that she wouldn't be accepted into the Knightmare Corps even if she dared to try. It just didn't happen.
Just as she was about to leave the barrack however, the alarms went off. "All Honorary Britannians to the helicopters in full combat armor. Departing for Shinjuku ghetto in three minutes. She swore as the other privates laughed at her and tore off her recreational uniform. She quickly snapped on her combat armor, grabbed her helmet, and sprinted out the door, joining the other Honorary Britannians as they ran to the helicopters. Within a minute she was sitting breathlessly in her seat with nineteen other Honorary Britannian privates and they were flying to the Shinjuku ghetto. As they flew towards their destination, their commanding officer briefed them on the situation. "Terrorists have stolen a high pressure canister of poison gas from a Britannian research institute. Your orders are to find and recover the canister, and well as detain any and all terrorists for questioning."
Poison gas? Suzako pursed her lips. This is exactly why she wasn't on the side of the terrorist groups. Stealing something like this put not only their own lives in danger, but also the lives of countless civilians as well. The commanding officer continued briefing them on the situation, and Suzako was surprised to learn that the terrorists had somehow acquired a Knightmare frame. Granted, it was one of the old outdated Glasgows, but even the fact that they had one was simply amazing. Even more unbelievable was that it had escaped what should have been certain destruction by the hand of Britannian Sutherlands. The pilot had to be some kind of ace or something.
She quickly shifted her focus back to her commanding officer just as he was informing them that they would be dropping down on the cables from the helicopters. Suzako sighed. It wasn't like they hadn't done it before from the Knightmare simulators or in drills, she just didn't like having to wait to disembark. She was always shoved to the back, but at this point she was simply happy to be doing something. The thoughts of joining up with the JLF had started to become more and more frequent over the course of the last several months, for fear of never being able to elicit any change in Britannia. However, she had stuck with it also for fear of being labeled as a terrorist deserter, for which the military might have actually had the reason to seek her out for. Better to lie low and be safe.
Within minutes, they were over Shinjuku, preparing to descend. As suspected, she was the last in line, and as she was descending a voice of the officer (she couldn't remember the name) leading the operation came over their helmets. "You were all specially chosen for this mission as Honorary Britannians, so the stench of these terrorists should be familiar to you. You have your orders. Now go!"
She hit the ground running and quickly peeled away from the group with several others into the nearest subway entrance. They had been informed that they would mostly be working alone to cover more ground. Usually, they'd be in at least pairs due to protocol, but in this kind situation the commanding officers didn't really care. The Honorary Britannians were likely not chosen because they were dealing with terrorists, but merely because they were expendable. Since the terrorists had stolen poison gas, there was a large chance that there would be military casualties. That was the way the army worked: cut your losses in any way possible. In their eyes, a Britannian life was worth much more than the life of a lowly Honorary Britannian.
Suzako ran into the tunnel, relying on her helmet feed to guide her vision. It wasn't pitch black in the tunnel, but her visibility certainly wouldn't have been as good, even with the grainy feed. She had to hand it to Britannian engineering and technology. If Japan had been as adept as Britannia was seven years ago, they might've won the Second Pacific War. She continued down, and when the tunnel took a sharp turn, so did she.
Unbelievably enough, the truck was sitting right there in front of her, trapped in what seemed to be some kind of hole. She couldn't believe her luck as she pressed the page button on her helmet to let command know that she had located the terrorist truck. She advanced towards the open door to apprehend any terrorists, and it seemed that he luck was holding out as a man in black stepped out from the shadows of the truck bed and towards the poison gas canister. Without thinking, she ran, jumped, and executed a perfect spinning kick that sent him skidding to the ground. "Are you Britannian?" He choked out as she practically jumped on top of him.
"That's enough mindless murder," she growled, holding him down as he struggled feebly underneath her.
"Wait, I'm not one of-"
"Planning to use poison gas?" She continued, ignoring his protests. He tried to force himself up. "Don't play dumb with me!"
"Get off me!" With surprising strength as well as lucky placement, he landed a kick to her abdomen that sent her flying back into the air, landing nimbly on her feet. "I'm not here by choice," he continued. "If that's poison gas, it was made in Britannia, wasn't it?"
He began to step out of the shadows, and she saw his face. "My God," she breathed.
"Mindless murder?" He pulled back her own words against her. "Then why don't you just obliterate Britannia?"
Even though it probably went against dozens of protocols, without thinking Suzako took off her helmet. "Lelouch, it's me, Suzako."
Shock, and then finally recognition came over his face. "You- You're a Britannian soldier?" He looked at her hair and noticed the sudden change in her voice pitch. "As a boy?"
She knit her eyebrows together, ignoring the last question. "Yeah, and what about you? You're a…" she let her voice trail off.
"What are you saying?" He answered angrily. "I-"
He was interrupted by the sound of a pneumatic hiss, and right before their eyes the capsule opened, letting out the poison gas. Without even thinking, Suzako tackled Lelouch to the ground and forced her mask over his mouth so there would at least be a chance that one of them survived. They were both lying on the truck bed facing the canister, but what they saw was not what they expected. "That's not poison gas," Suzako mumbled.
The smoke cleared and laying inside the capsule was a girl bound in a standard Britannian straightjacket. She had long green hair and sleepy amber eyes feebly glancing up at them. For a moment, they simply sat there and stared, but then they jumped into action, Suzako lifting her out of the capsule (even though she was a girl, she was still much stronger than Lelouch) and setting her down on the ground outside of the truck.
Lelouch held her up against him, supporting her weak frame. With dexterous fingers he began undoing the buckle across her mouth while Suzako unzipped her legs. "Tell me, Suzako," he began. "Poison gas? This girl?" he asked with a hint of disbelief.
She frowned. "Hey, it's what they told us in the briefing, I swear-"
Suddenly, the cavern was flooded with light and the pair noticed that they weren't alone, and that they were very much in danger. With horror, Suzako looked up to see the Captain of Prince Clovis's royal guard standing in front of them. "Stinking monkey," he growled. "Being an Honorary Britannian will not excuse you."
Without thinking, she ran up to him. "But sir," she said, just remembering to change her voice back to the artificial lower pitch. "I was told this was poison gas."
"How dare you question orders!" He replied. "However, in light of your outstanding military achievements I'm going to be lenient." He pulled a gun out of his belt and presented it to Suzako. "Private Kururugi, execute this terrorist."
Her breath hitched in her throat. "But sir, he's not a terrorist!" She glanced frightfully back at Lelouch, who was protectively holding the girl. "He's a civilian who just got caught up in all this!"
The captain's eyes narrowed. "You insubordinate little… That's an order! Didn't you swear your loyalty and your life to Britannia?"
She swallowed, knowing that what she was about to do could very well be the last action she ever carried out. "Yes, but…" she trailed off, steeling her nerves. "But I can't."
"What?" He growled, his voice low with anger.
"I won't do it, sir." She turned back to Lelouch, now confident in her actions. "I won't shoot a civilian." She smiled at Lelouch for what very well might be the last time. "I won't follow your orders."
"Very well," he replied, and for just a fraction of a moment she thought that they were actually going to get out of this, but then she felt cool metal press into one of the few parts of the uniform not protected by the hard armor and she knew what would happen even before the bullet pierced her flesh. Then she was falling, and she hit the ground hard, blackness threatening to overcome her vision. The last thing that she heard was Lelouch screaming, "Suzako!"
And she smiled.
A/N: So essentially the motivation behind this fic was the fact that no one ever genderbends Suzaku, ever. I've read a lot of fem!Lelouch fics, but only one or two fem!Suzaku ones. So I got thinking, and here we are. I promise that if I end up continuing this fic (which is still debatable) it'll deviate more from canon. This chapter pretty much is almost the same as everything that happens in the first episode from Suzako's POV, and I know that can get kind of annoying to read something you've already watched, but I promise that it'll start to develop its own plot deviations in the future.
As always, review and criticism are always welcome, but not necessarily. I just like to know if you enjoyed reading, what I can do better, and what you want to see. Thanks for reading!
-Haaschiibrownii