This…this isn't the Danny Phantom story I promised. I found this somewhat half-finished and decided that I really wanted to finish it. P Slims needs some love!
I made up a lot of stuff, but some of it you'll recognize.
I don't own Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja.
GENERAL POV
Principal Erwin Slimovitz sighed as, once again, a large robot hit his car, causing the alarm to go off briefly before it all exploded.
Having grown used to this sort of performance, Erwin shook his head and walked away from the window, knowing that the current ninja of Norrisville would take care of the robot problem before long.
Oh yes, he did just say the current ninja of Norrisville.
The man smirked as he leaned back in his large office chair, fiddling with a pencil. He knew a lot about a lot. When you're the principal of the same school for just over twenty years, you start to notice the little things.
Erwin chuckled and kicked his feet up on the desk, knowing that until the school got relatively cleaned up, the students wouldn't be returning to their classes. This meant that until tomorrow, the school was basically empty.
The principal sighed and crossed his arms behind his head, thinking about today's attack. Not much unusual about it. Just another McFist robot come to destroy the ninja.
Yes, he knew McFist was an evil maniac intent on destroying the beloved hero of Norrisville.
It made sense, really, when Erwin thought about it.
After twenty some years? He knew more than most gave him credit for. What, he wondered, would McFist do if Erwin let loose that he knew who the ninja was?
Oh yeah. He knew. It started a long time ago, when he first started. He had gone to Norrisville High as a kid, so being the principal there after having graduated only several years prior had really freaked the principal out.
But it had gone surprisingly well. Since many of the teachers quit after a few years because of the monster attacks and whatnot, there were very few teachers left that had been his. In fact, of the teachers he had had as a senior, the only ones left were Marlene Driscoll, S. Ward Smith, and one of the lunch ladies, who he supposed didn't really count under the term "teacher." They were really the only ones tough enough to stick out every monster attack.
That said, Erwin's introduction into being the principal had actually been pretty easy. He knew that it took a tough person to stick around this school, but the man figured that the kids deserved it, especially since one of them protected everyone all the time, with nothing (he assumed) in return.
But Erwin saw and knew a lot.
As a teenager, he hadn't paid much attention to anything. Oh sure, he was a big fan of the ninja, as was everyone else. But he didn't notice anything odd, probably because when the ninja was actually fighting he wasn't anywhere nearby because of safety precautions.
But when he became principal, it was a different story.
Right off the bat, his first year as principal, he began to study the ninja carefully, never having gotten the opportunity to before.
The ninja of 1983-1984 was lean, yet short, with dark green eyes and a quiet manner. He rarely spoke to anyone, only occasionally instructing someone to do something, like "de-stank" a monster using words or asking a question that could help him with the de-stanking.
But the next year, 1984-1985, Slimovitz noticed immediately that the ninja had changed. He was taller and a bit more…broad, to be polite. He was loud and obnoxious, and was incredibly rude to everyone, including the students and teachers.
Around the last two or three weeks of school, just after prom, Erwin noticed that the ninja had changed. Though still tall and stocky, he was gentler, nicer to students. And his eyes had changed from deep blue to a piercing hazel.
That was the ninja that stayed until the senior class of 1987 graduated. That fall, Slimovitz once again noticed that the ninja had changed.
He-no, that was one of the years the ninja was a she-was tall and thin, with purple eyes and a cunning wit about her. She was very agile and quick, and was better than some of the past male ninjas, in Erwin's opinion.
And then, once again, four years later, the ninja changed back to a male who was short and moved quickly.
That was when the man began thinking.
What if there wasn't just one, 800 some year old ninja?
He began watching him much more closely, the ninja of 1992. And he quickly realized that he was able to figure out who the student was if he merely took note of the students who were in the courtyard watching the fights, or the ones in the library who hid, or…well, you get the point.
It took nearly two years, but Slimovitz finally realized that when the ninja of that year had come in, it had been his freshmen year. The principal hadn't been sure if it was that important at the time, but he learned quickly over the years that it was.
When Slimovitz discovered who the ninja was, he was eager to tell everyone.
But it just so happened that one day, instead of studying the ninja's moves while he fought a bunch of robots, he looked up instead.
And he saw an enormous plane type thing that had the McFist corporation symbol on the bottom of it.
Erwin thought this was strange, but as soon as the ninja had finished up with the robots, he understood; because the plane sucked up every robot from the ground and vanished.
It took Erwin nearly a month to get over the revelation that McFist was the one trying to destroy the ninja. And he realized that if he told everyone who the ninja was, it would get back to the man somehow and the ninja would be screwed, probably destroyed for good.
So Slimovitz kept it to himself, merely watching.
And every time the ninja changed, he managed to figure out who it was. By 2004, he had realized that it was the incoming freshmen class that provided the new ninja. That narrowed his search by a huge margin.
But still, he never told.
The robots grew stronger over the years, and eventually Slimovitz realized that there was something evil under the school that kept trying to possess the students. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was pretty effective, that was for sure. And he realized that his previous decision of not talking about who the ninja was had been correct.
If he had told, the ninja would vanish, be destroyed, and whatever was under the school would be able to go haywire and take over the city.
The ninjas came and went, and every now and then a new one would show up randomly for seemingly no reason; but Slimovitz knew that it was because the ninja had moved, or because (once, sadly) there had been a driving accident where both drivers had been killed.
The 2006 ninja, who took over for the 2004 ninja who had moved, stayed until 2008, and she was seriously one of the most kick butt ninjas that Slimovitz had ever seen. She never once wrecked his car, whether on purpose or accident, so she was okay in his book.
The 2008 ninja wasn't the best, but he certainly wasn't as terrible as the ninja of '85, who, as Slimovitz had discovered barely a month ago, had left a kid in the freezer.
But it was the current ninja who intrigued Slimovitz. The ninja of 2012. Well, now he was the ninja of 2013, but whatever.
Slimovitz glanced briefly out his window, noting that the fire department had put out the flames from his car and that the students were now going home.
He slid open a drawer in his desk and shuffled some folders around, finally pulling out a relatively thick one.
He flopped it onto the desk and opened it up, grabbing a pencil and tucking it over his ear as he flipped pages.
The front of the folder was filled with seemingly useless information, but actually, it included a freshmen class list for every year.
Erwin turned to the current year's freshmen class and smiled thinly as he re-read the name over again, the one he had circled with a bright red marker. There was one (or occasionally two) on every class list, and they told exactly who the ninja was.
Randy Cunningham.
Erwin had only met the boy a few times, but he seemed like an incredibly well brought up and intellectual student.
He shut the book again and stared at the wall, wondering, not for the first time, if perhaps keeping this to himself wasn't the best idea.
Over the years, he had figured out that nearly every ninja had told his or her best friend they were the ninja.
Slimovitz thought this was a good idea; what person wants to have to hide something like that from their best friend?
So obviously, since Randy always hung out with Howard Weinerman, Erwin knew that this was the one who Randy had told. Well, that, and Howard was always covering for the kid and talking to the ninja easily one-on-one.
Howard was also a good kid. A little obnoxious at times, yes, but he had a good heart. Slimovitz had never seen two kids so loyal to one another.
Erwin sighed and swiveled around in his chair so that he could see out the window. Nearly every student had disappeared, and now town maintenance was cleaning up the smoking mess that had once been his car.
Erwin rolled his eyes. He had kept track of every car that had ever been destroyed as principal here; amazingly, it exceeded five hundred. What was sad was that it didn't really surprise him anymore.
A loud knock sounded on his door and Erwin rapidly shut the file folder and shoved it back into his desk, his fingers twitching nervously as he called, "Come in!"
To his utter astonishment, Randy walked in with Howard trailing behind him.
"Oh, hi," Slimovitz said in surprise. "What are you boys still doing here?"
Randy smiled sheepishly. "Um, sir, you have my phone. Mrs. Driscoll took it during science and said I could pick it up here."
Erwin blinked, surprised to have forgotten about that. "Oh, that's right! One moment, please. Randy, right?" Obviously.
Randy nodded and stepped back next to Howard to wait as Erwin searched his drawers, finding dozens of phones with names on sticky notes on them. He finally uncovered Randy's, buried at the bottom, and he pulled it out with triumph.
'Here you go, son."
He leaned over his desk to hand it over and Randy stepped forward carefully to retrieve it.
It was so slight, that Erwin almost missed it; the slight wince of pain that overcame Randy's face as he landed on his right foot.
"Mr. Cunningham, are you all right?" he asked, pulling the phone out of reach.
Randy gulped slightly and threw a smile on his face. "Yes, of course sir! Why wouldn't I be?"
Slimovitz hesitated and studied the boy carefully, noting the worried looks Howard was shooting him. "Well…all right. Here you are, Randy."
Randy pulled the phone from Erwin's hand and slid it into his pocket. "Thanks, sir. See you tomorrow."
Principal Slimovitz nodded and the two boys started for the door. He couldn't help but call them back, though.
"Mr. Cunningham?"
Randy glanced back, his dark purple hair dangling in front of his eyes. "Yes, sir?"
Erwin smiled lightly, staring him in the eye. "Be careful, son."
The left and Slimovitz could distinctly hear Howard say, "Dude, that was creepy. It was like he knew something!"
He heard Randy chuckle, his voice fading but still laced with pain. "Aw, come on Howard. Principal Slimovitz would never figure it out."
Slimovitz laced his fingers behind his head and kicked his feet up on the desk, staring out the window with a faint smile.
He could tell everyone who the ninja was, and he'd probably be swarmed with free publicity for both himself and the school.
He could, but he wouldn't.
After all, he was only trying to keep the peace.
I love P. Slims. I can't believe there haven't been any fics about him.
I feel like he has a deeper intellectual side that you never see…hence this story.
Anyway, review!
I need to stop procrastinating…