Title - Ashley's Horrible Day

Rating – PG-13

Summary – Ashley torture and Leon confusion.

Author's Note – I wrote this story some time ago and it was very popular. But, it was taken down because of the format. So, for the sake of all humanity, I've decided reformat and repost.

This story is inspired by Kitten Kisses 'Stomach Chewing Demons'.

Men… be warned! Read at your own risk!

Ashley Graham, the President's daughter, woke to the sound of birds singing and a bright, sunny, cheerful, spring day. Unfortunately, she felt like crap. She wanted to shoot all the birds, blow up the sun and woe to anyone who came into her room at this moment. Why today of all days? Please rain!

She pulls herself from bed and runs to the bathroom. Afterwards, she picks out her outfit for the day; black skirt, black boots w/ black stockings, black shirt, black sunglasses and a big, black hat. She looked as if she was going to a funeral. I need a black veil.

She wanted to go shopping and pick up some new outfits. But, at that moment, she really didn't care. As she headed for her limo, she silently prayed it was Mary Sue in there and no men. She opens the door and there sits, of all people, Leon Kennedy with a big grin on his face.

"Nice black outfit. Who died?" Leon asked.

"You, if you don't shut up."

"Touchy aren't we? I got you one of those prissy girly coffee drinks you like so much." He said, holding up a coffee cup.

"No thanks. You drink it." Ashley pouted as the limo pulls away:

Leon gags and pours it out the window as they pull away from the White House.

"I'm telling Daddy you did that!"

Leon shrugged. "Whatever. What's wrong with you anyway?"

"Other then the fact I want to die, nothing."

"You've been listening to Evanescence again, haven't you?"

"No, they're too cheerful for me right now."

Leon raised an eyebrow. "Okay…" Mental note: Keep all dangerous weapons away from Ashley.

"Where to?" Asked the driver.

"Wal-Mart. Now!" Ashley demanded

"A little bossy today, are we?" Leon joked.

"Shut up."

She wraps her arms around her stomach and starts rocking back and forth.

Leon was starting to get concerned. "Ashley? Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"NO! I'M FINE!"

Leon was a little scared of Ashley for the first time ever. "Okay. Calm down." He flashed her his best smile and she shoots him the look of death. Mental Note: Don't do that again.

They get to Wal-Mart.

"I'm going alone." Ashley stated as she stepped out of the limo.

"But, I have to go with you. I have to protect you."

Ashley pokes one finger at Leon's chest. "You take one step out of that limo, I will personally beat the crap out of you."

Leon holds up his hands. "Okay, fine. Whatever you want."

She climbs out and starts walking.

"You have 10 minutes then I'm coming in after you." Leon yells out the window.

She stops for a second then continues walking. After she disappears inside, Leon calls the White House and Hunnigan patches him into the security cameras. He spots her in one aisle with a huge bag of something.

"What's that? Cotton balls? Nah. What is that? Probable has to do with make-up or something." Leon muttered

"Don't you have any sisters?" The driver asked.

"No. I'm an only child."

"You poor sap." Driver says with a laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind."

When the ten minutes were up, Leon leaves the limo to get Ashley. Once inside, he spots her at the check-out line.

Ashley hands Leon all the bags, minus one. "I have to go to the bathroom." She tells him before running off.

"Wha…?" Said a baffled Leon.

He stands there with her bags looking at them. Inside were a huge box of chocolates, a bag of M&Ms, a romance novel and a box a Midol. I've heard of Midol. What's it for again?

Before Leon had a chance to investigate, Ashley comes out and snatches the bags from his hand.

"Stop looking through my bags, you pervert!"

Leon throws his hands up. "What? I didn't do anything!" He looks around at half the store is staring at him. "What'd I do?"

He leaves and gets into the limo and watches Ashley hack into her box of chocolates.

"Stupid cellophane wrapping." Ashley mutters as she drops the box on the floor. Instead of picking it up, she bends over with her head on her knees and starts crying.

Leon, trying to be nice, picks up the box, takes the wrapping off and hands it back to her. She snatches it from him with a snarl and starts shoving the chocolates in her face two at a time.

"Can I have one?" Leon asked

"No!" Ashley answered with an otherworldly voice.

"Are you possessed or something?"

Ashley growls at him.

"Okay." Leon inches up against the door as far away from her possible.

Suddenly, they pass a McDonalds.

"Stop!" Ashley yells to the driver.

"Why?" Leon asked confused.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Now!"

"But, you just went at Wal-Mart."

Ashley growls at him again.

They stop and she runs inside.

"I wanna go home." Leon mumbles as he rested his head on the back of his seat.

A few minutes later, she climbs back into the limo.

"What's wrong with you today?" Leon dared to ask.

"You don't want to know." Ashley stated

He looks at the driver confused.

"You don't want to know." The driver told him with a cautioned tone.

"I need to know. It's my job." Leon demanded

"Trust me. You don't want to know." Ashley sighed

"Yes, I do."

"It my time of the…"

Leon suddenly throws his hands up in defense. "I don't wanna know!"

Ashley lunges for him. "Too bad. You asked. You forced me to tell you, now you're going to hear it all!"

Back at the White House

A very disgusted and better educated Leon climbs out of the limo. I lived with Jill and Claire for months after Raccoon City. How come I never noticed?

As they walk to the entrance of the White House. Ashley starts crying again.

"I'm sorry, Leon, if I was…you know."

"Its okay, Ashley. Let's just keep going."

Ashley nods and Leon watches as she runs for a bathroom.

I'm glad I'm not a woman.

The end

Moral of the story – If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question.