Title: WINDSTRUCK
Summary: From best friends to lovers, they endured life's obstacles. And this final trial could separate them forever.
Disclaimer: I still don't own OTH.
Author's Note: It just occurred to me that I haven't written in a while.
"Promise you won't leave me." she said, while holding onto the love of her life tightly. When he didn't answer, she pulled away and looked at him. "Promise me?"
He looked at her, his first love, his only love. She had so much pain in her innocent eyes. As young as she was, she learned how to deal with the pains of life. She learned that whatever was given to her could be taken right away. Even in an early age, she knew how it felt to lose someone so dear to her.
It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.
He didn't want her to be pained. He didn't want her to be sad. All he wanted was to see her happy but life always got in the way.
Why did it have to be her? Of all the people in the world, it had to be her. She was the most patient, most kind person he'd met.
She looked at him again, her eyes full of questions. He leaned in closer, so close that their foreheads were touching, and said, "Promise you won't leave me, Hales."
She let warm tears flow freely from her eyes and enfolded him once more in her arms. Afraid that this time, when she let go, he'd be gone.
"I'll try." she said, "I'll try not to. I'll try really hard."
She was sobbing hysterically in his arms and she knew she must've looked stupid, but she couldn't have cared less. She was so scared. Of all the things that had happened in her life, this was by far the most heartbreaking.
When she was 8, her mom passed away right in front of her. It took her almost 3 years to get over it but she did. At the age of 16, her dad left her to fend for herself. She had to work while she was in high school. She stayed at her best friend's house until she got to college. Her first boyfriend, back in college, had cheated on her because she wouldn't give it up to him. Then, she couldn't pay for her dorm room because she didn't have enough money and the financial aid wasn't enough. It was a good thing her best friend was there. He let her stay in his apartment, rent free.
Now, at 23, she was diagnosed with chronic leukemia. The same disease that killed her mother.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." she told him.
They were walking along the docks now, their favorite spot. Their hands were clasped together and instead of tears, a smile was on her face.
"I think you'd be able to do fine." he told her, looking at her. "I should actually be the one saying that to you."
He guided her to one of the vacant tables and sat there with her.
"You changed my life. You know that?" he said, "I had no idea what to do with my life and then you showed up. Instead of me taking care of you, when we were 16, you were the one who took care of me."
"That's because, no one was there to do it." she told him, her hands still on his, her thumb massaging his knuckles. "You were young, without a parent in your huge house. You were nice enough to let me stay. It was the least I could do. Besides, I've been in love with you since we were 13."
"Really?" he asked her, shocked by her revelation.
She nodded. "Uhuh. Hey, you want to know a secret?"
"Sure." he said.
"While I was staying at your house and your apartment, I was imagining us living together." she told him, blushing.
"We were, living together." he said, jokingly.
"I didn't mean literally." she said, playfully. "I meant, like we were a real family. Like you were, uh…"
"Like I was what?" he asked her.
He knew what she was going to say. It was what he wanted too. It's always been what he wanted. He's loved her ever since they were kids and it only intensified through the years. Seeing her struggle hurt him. So many times, he wanted to just hold her while she cried. He wanted to feel all the pain she felt, instead of her feeling it. So when her dad left her, he decided to do something. He couldn't stand to see her living in the streets, because she couldn't pay for rent. He wanted to see her succeed. She was so smart, she had so much she still had to do. So he let her stay with him. With that, he could keep an eye on her. So he can be close to her.
She looked at him and saw that look in his eye. It was the look he got all the time. It held so much intensity and it scared her. He really loved her a lot. And that knowledge made her happy and sad at the same time.
"Nathan, Don't look at me like that." she told him. He looked at her, puzzled. "Don't look at me like that." she repeated.
"Like what?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes. "You know what."
He shook his head. "What is it?" he said, urging her on.
She sighed. "Like I'm the only one you see. Like… God, you look at me like you can't live without me. It's like how my Dad looks at my mom when she was still alive." she said, burying her head in her hands.
His eyebrows furrowed, when she started crying.
"I'm sorry." he said. "I'll try not to look at you like that again if you don't want to."
She looked up at him, her eyes that were full of joy earlier and now filled with tears.
"It's not that." she said quietly.
"Then what is it?" he asked her.
"I'm leaving you soon."
After hearing those four words he thought he would die himself. It sounded so final. She made it sound like everything bad that's happened were real. It was as if she knew when she was going to… leave.
"Don't say that." he told her, holding her hands tightly against his. "You're not going anywhere. I'm not going to let you."
She smiled, despite her tears. "I love you. You know that?", she said. He was about to say something but she beat him to it.
"I've loved you ever since we were young. You were the one that kept me going all this time. When my mom left, when my dad left. Then when I found out that you felt the same I was so scared and so happy at the same time." she stopped to catch her breath. "You had that look in your eyes, when you told me you loved me." she lifted her hands to caress his face. "It was so empowering and weakening at the same time. Then I found out about… this. I've never been so scared in my life, so heartbroken. Everyone's always left me, not the other way around. I was so used to everyone leaving that, after a while, it never hurt. Then you came along, and 'us' happened. I… I just… I love you, so much."
He engulfed her into his arms and held her for what felt like forever.
"I love you too, Hales." he said, his face buried in her hair. It always smelled so good. "And I hate that this happened to you of all people. I wish I knew what to tell you, I really do. All I could do right now is to make you really happy. Will that be alright for you?"
He let go of her, his hands went to her arms holding her still, and looked at her.
She nodded. "But I'm not worried about me being happy while I'm here. I'm worried about you… when I'm go-"
He kissed her and stopped her from finishing her words. He didn't want to think of it himself. He really didn't know what to do if she left, when she left. If he was honest with himself, he'd feel like dying too. But he wouldn't tell her that.
"Marry me." he said, after pulling away from her lips.
"No." she said. When she saw the look of disappointment in his face, she tried to explain her answer. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just… I don't want you to get married to me just because I'm… dying." she said. He flinched a little bit at her words. It was the first time he'd heard her say the word 'dying' and to hear her say it felt as if it were real.
"I'm not." he said, shaking his head. Then he took out something from his pocket. A dark velvet box.
"I was going to give you this after we got home from the party." he continued. "I had everything ready, you know. The backyard had lights on, the pool had flowers on it with those little candles, the table had those purple flowers you love so much. I wasn't going to cook though, I was just going to get food from the restaurant."
She looked at him, her heart constricting with every word he said. 'He's been meaning to propose since then?', she thought. She held his hand as he continued.
"You looked so beautiful that night and I couldn't wait to propose. And then you fainted." he stopped, his fists clenched. "The rest was history. I asked our friends to clean up the place, for when you get home. I kept the ring for safe keeping. Though, I'd always bring it with me whenever I was with you. Still trying to find the right moment."
"Ask me again." she said. He looked up at her. "Ask me again."
"Wh-"
"Ask me again." she repeated. "This time, do that whole kneeling thing." she winked at him and he nodded.
He stood up and knelt in front of her, his heart racing, worried she might say no again. He looked up at her and said those four words, "Will you marry me?"
She smiled, shook her head and said, "Yes."
He smiled up at her and stood up, carrying her with him and twirled them around. Her giggles could be heard from a mile away and his smiled reached up the top of the hills.
He stood at the same exact place, remembering the times he was with her. Only a week after he proposed, they had quickly gotten married at the beach he was standing on. Eight months later, she bid him goodbye. The whole eight months were filled with joy and laughter and no regrets. In the end, they found out that they have made a miracle. A baby girl was conceived in the beginning of their marriage and was born in place of her. She had passed away after giving birth to her daughter but not before holding her and singing to her for the first and last time.
He remembered everything so clearly, as if all of it happened yesterday.
"Daddy!" he turned around to see a little girl running up to him. She looked exactly the same as her mother only with his eyes. She had the same laugh and the same mannerism as her. Sometimes it felt as though she was here with them. As if she never left. He hugged his daughter and as he held her, he felt the wind embracing them too.
"Nathan? Do you believe in life after death?", she asked as she lay beside him under the stars.
"Like reincarnation? Sometimes, why?"
"Nothing. I always thought that when I leave, you know, that I'll be the wind. And whenever you feel the wind around you, that's me holding you. So you'll know I'm always there with you. With our daughter."
He let himself get lost in the wind, almost as if he was getting lost in her. He gazed down on his daughter and saw her eyes closed as if being soothed by it. He smiled. She always wanted to be a wind. To fly around everywhere. Be everywhere. And now, she can.