Disclaimer: Joss rules. I couldn't possibly come up with the fantabulous show.
A/N: First attempt at fanfiction so bear with me. Jumps from different points of view. Kind of AU b/c Dawn is a year younger than Buffy. No OZ. 3rd Season.
I'm exhausted after helping Lily. For the thousandth time this summer, I've thought about Sunnydale. I try to escape my destiny, but it's a part of me. My biggest fear is that the darkness will take over. Here, I have no one. In Sunnydale, I had friends and family. I love them, but I can't put them in danger. I've already put them in so much danger this past year with Angelus. That cruel, vicious bastard was nothing like Angel. He attacked my family and killed my friend. I can't believe I was so stupid as to fall in love with a vamp.
God I miss them.
Mom... she kicked me out, but I know she didn't mean it. That didn't make the pain hurt less. I was mostly angry at myself for making her go through this. She doesn't deserve a screw-up like me for a daughter. As I remember that night, I start to cry softly. I can't help but wonder if the Powers That Be chose the wrong Chosen One. This fiasco with Angel led to the deaths of many innocent people. I'm so stupid.
Dawn. She can be an annoying little brat but she's still my baby sis and I would do anything to protect her. I've come to think of her as one of the valuable members of the Scooby Gang. She surprised me, still, when she defended me the night Mom kicked me out. I can still hear them arguing.
"Mom! Think about this. Buffy has no choice. You think she wants to have a job with a high mortality rate."
"She doesn't have to be the Slayer!" Mom roared.
"That's like me saying the Earth doesn't have to rotate on its axis. If Buffy quit, we would be dead. No more Sunnydale. No more world. She is the most caring person ever and my hero." I never knew she felt like this about me and I started to wonder when she grew up into this wonderful person.
"She has to give up being the Slayer or get out of my house."
Guess you know what choice I made.
I wonder what the Scoobs think of me. I hope they can understand why I left.
Giles, Willow, Xander, and Cordelia have become life family to me.
Well Giles, Willow, and Xander more than Cordelia.
Cordelia. Now that's a girl with layers. She pretends associating with us hurts her popularity. But she continues to come around. I know underneath all that bitchiness she really likes us. I like her, too. Just as long as she treats Xand right.
Now Xander has become like a brother to me in the last 3 years. I didn't know if our friendship would last after he admitted his feelings for me. But thank god it did b/c I don't know what I would have done without his corny jokes, carefree attitude, and never-ending loyalty. He's the best Xander-shaped friend any Slayer could ask for.
Rupert Giles is the closest thing to a real father I've ever had. He may be stuffy at times, but he's cool. I feel a whole new rush of sorrow go through me as I think of Jenny. Because of me she's dead, and Giles lost the woman he was in love with. Some Slayer I am. I hurt everyone close to me.
Especially Willow.
Seeing her laid up in that hospital bed was the last straw. I couldn't do that to her anymore. She deserves better. I didn't even say goodbye. I watched her looking for me at school. In a wheelchair. I hurt her and I couldn't take it.
A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I was in love with her. I long to just look in her beautiful green eyes that I could get lost in. I ache for her. Need her. So bad.
With a sob, I collapse to the ground in the alley. How could she ever love me? I'm a girl and she's a girl. In the 3 years I've known her, I've never gotten the impression she's gay.
That's it. I can't take it anymore. I'm going home. She won't return my love, so I'll just settle for being her friend. If she'll have me.
Buffy. She's always on my mind. I wish she would come home already. I need my best friend. I miss her so much. Her confident nature. Her funny quips. My slayer. Well, technically, she's not mine. But that's the way I think of her. It's not fair. She didn't ask for this life. This destiny. I love her more than anything else. But she'll never love me. Who would? I'm just a geeky nerd that no boy wants. Xander never noticed. How could she.
I get my books out of my locker and head to the library and see someone sitting next to Giles, Xander, Dawn, and Cordelia.
I drop my books as the figure turns around.
"Buffy?"
A/N: It's crap. I know. But i would love some help. Plz review.