Summary: Inspired by Puck's "You're not going to fondle us, are you" line to Sandy Ryerson in "Funk," and his "Mr. Schue's the only teacher at this school that ever really touched me…besides Mr. Ryerson" line in "The Substitute."

Run, Noah, Run

"Noah, that was great! Oh, this is going to be wonderful!"

Puck watched, bemused, as Rachel danced and clapped around the makeshift set for the "Run, Joey, Run" music video they were filming. He was wiping the ketchup they were using for "Julie's" blood off his hands and wondering how on earth she had roped him into this in the first place.

"Really?" he countered, "Because I thought it was shit."

"No, no, you sounded really good. Perhaps some of the best vocal work I've heard from you."

"I wasn't talking about my singing, I was talking about the fact that this video is going to be really stupid. Seriously, ketchup for fake blood?"

"It may seem silly now, but it'll all come together in the final product, you'll see" Rachel insisted, "trust me! We can take a break though. I'm going to go talk to Lauren about the best camera angles from which to capture the tragic beauty of my character's premature death," and with that she flitted off.

"Crazy lunatic," Puck muttered, although he had to admit to himself that it hadn't been all bad so far. Since they'd started this project, Rachel had been running around with her eyes practically rolling around in her head, they were going so crazy, and he was finding it strangely amusing. He also didn't hate the part where he got to show off the guns in his wifebeater, and he especially liked that Rachel didn't seem to hate it either. Maybe he would manage to score a makeout session out of the deal after all. He should suggest they go back and do some re-shoots…

"It's so good to see you up and about, Noah," Puck turned to see Mr. Ryerson, dressed in his trashy blue overalls and sporting a toy shotgun, walking towards him. "It's amazing what modern medicine can do."

"Uh, yeah," Puck replied. "I didn't think it was possible either, but we found this amazing doctor who told me that by injecting my spine with DNA from the shark that bit me he could fix it, and it worked" he held up his hands and shook his head in disbelief, "Hallelujah, right?"

Mr. Ryerson shook his head in wonder. "Just miraculous. You must be so thankful."

"Totally." Puck pulled a pained expression. "I uh…I do still feel some pain every once in a while though…"

Mr. Ryerson held a hand and waved it dismissively. "I understand completely. I'll make sure to get you a little herbal help for that."

"I appreciate that, sir, I really do."

"Anything I can do to help a student in need," Mr. Ryerson replied, clapping a hand on Puck's right shoulder. "Well," he said, seeming to notice Puck's considerable muscle and patting it, "you certainly have kept your strength up. Pushing the wheelchair must have done wonders for your upper-body."

Puck didn't particularly feel like discussing his workout habits with Mr. Ryerson, but he figured if the guy was going to score him some sweet weed for cheap, he ought to at least be polite, so he nodded and said, "Yeah, that was one of the only perks, though obviously I was still lifting weights. Couldn't let myself go completely, right?"

"No, no, of course not," Mr. Ryerson replied. "Have you considered trying yoga or pilates?" he continued, "I know it's not considered manly for a football player such as yourself, but they could really help your legs and core regain strength after all those weeks of sitting."

Puck made a face. "I don't think that kind of…"

"Mr. Ryerson!" Rachel's high-pitched voice cut off their conversation. Sounding oddly panicked, she moved forward and gently removed Mr. Ryerson's hand from where it had moved to Puck's arm, "why don't you stand on your mark so Lauren can check to make sure she's lighting you correctly?"

"Oh, excellent idea. I just know she's going to get it wrong and end up making me look sallow," and with that he stalked back up the driveway.

Rachel turned to Puck whose eyes were moving back and forth between her and Mr. Ryerson. Finally they settled on her.

"Uh, what just happened?"

"Nothing! We just need to get started again."

Puck eyed her suspiciously, but she stared back determinedly. Suddenly remembering something, Puck asked, "Didn't you get Mr. Ryerson fired for…" he trailed off, feeling his eyes go wide and his mouth go slack as he replayed the last few minutes in his head.

"That is a vicious and completely untrue rumor that I will not justify with a reply. Now, I think we really ought to start filming again."

Rachel flounced off, yelling, "Places, places everyone!" Puck shook himself off and followed her to a spot in front of the car where she had set up a mark for him. When Mr. Ryerson approached them again, Rachel stepped to the side so that she was now standing between him and Puck.

"Mr. Ryerson," Rachel said, brightly, but firmly, "we're going to start from the scene where I come running to Joey after he exits the car. Why don't you move to your mark and we'll start the music, ok?'

Mr. Ryerson gave her the thumbs-up and headed back up the driveway.

Rachel started to move, but Puck grabbed her elbow and turned her towards him. She looked up at him innocently. "Yes?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "One more take, and then I'm heading home."

She smiled encouragingly. "That's fine."

"You owe me for this," Puck added. "Big time."

She hesitated a moment before giving him another bright smile. "Don't worry Noah, it'll be great. You'll see! I promise you it will have been worth all this time and effort."

Puck snorted, arching an eyebrow at her and shaking his head. "Babe," he said glancing at Mr. Ryerson who was now jumping up and down and making "Oooh aaaaah" sounds with his mouth to "warm up" for the scene. "Unless you're planning to join me in bed tonight, I really don't think that's possible."