The second after she made the announcement that she wouldn't be playing "the basement song," Jude looked over into the wings and saw the man she loved, her fiancé, looking more heartbroken than she'd ever seen him, including that time he ran out of his favorite hair gel. Suddenly she was brought back to her 18th birthday, when she'd told him she wouldn't perform his song. The look was almost the same, only this time she knew that if she went through with it, there'd be no turning back, no second chance.
She'd planned on playing "The Music," on telling the world that she was going to London and doing it on her own, free of all anchors. But looking at Tommy, she knew that wasn't what she wanted. Not really. And Jude knew exactly what she needed to do.
"Instead I'm going to play another song that most of you have never heard," she said, looking off into the wings once more. "This song was written for me by a very special person, and in honor of our recent engagement, I think it's about time we let you all hear it. Now, if my fiancé would be so kind as to accompany me on piano…"
Tom looked shocked. He didn't know what she was doing, and he froze where he stood. It wasn't until Jude asked the audience to give her fiancé a round of applause—and Big Lou pushed him forward—that he finally started to move. As he walked onstage, the fans went wild, but their cheering did little to quiet the thoughts running through his mind. Why wasn't Jude playing "2 A.M."? What song was she talking about playing instead? And why did he get the feeling only seconds earlier that she was about to end it all?
But now wasn't the time to question her. Not when they were standing in front of several hundred strangers. Instead, Tommy took his seat at the piano and waited for Jude to take the lead, telling everyone what song they were going to perform.
Raising her arms, Jude calmed the crowd. The moment they quieted, she continued to speak.
"You all recognize my fiancé, I'm sure," Jude laughed as the audience cheered again. "Well, this is a little diddy he wrote for me when we first got together, and though our plan to perform it together then went a little haywire, I think things will go better this time. Now I think I'll shut up so you can all hear "Love to Burn.""
Tommy smiled hesitantly, instantly flooded with memories of the last time Jude had performed his song. That night, he'd thought it was all over, that he'd lost her for good. He wondered if he would lose her this time, too. Even as his fingers moved over the keys, his thoughts wouldn't quit. He played as if on autopilot, not thinking about the song until it was almost over. And that's when he dared to look at Jude, to listen to her voice.
He'd heard her sing every one of her songs a thousand times, but not once had her voice affected him this much. If he thought hearing her sing "White Lines" after learning it was written it about him had been an emotional experience, this was ten times worse. He was almost glad, though, that she chose his song. If it were any other arrangement, he'd have forgotten it by now and ruined the whole show. But playing something he wrote, that was easy, even if he was under extreme emotional stress.
As the song came to an end, the last note echoing throughout the concert hall for a moment before the crowd burst into wild applause, Jude took a moment to look over toward the piano. Tommy looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown, his body tense, his eyes wildly searching the room as if looking for the nearest exit and his fingers still moving over the keys, only this time without pressing down and releasing the beautiful music she knew he would make if only he would play. As for Jude herself, she'd never felt so sure of any decision in her life. "Love to Burn" had been the right choice, and so had sharing her engagement.
Walking off the stage, Tommy took Jude's hand and guided her, putting on a show for their fans, and friends, but the minute they were safely inside her dressing room, he panicked.
"What the hell was that?" he screamed, and Jude noticed that he was sweating and shaking, telltale signs that he was scared.
She didn't want to tell him about her thoughts about ending it all, but she knew he deserved the truth. He'd been by her side for three years, holding her hand when she needed it and letting her go when she asked; the least she could do was be honest with him.
"I know what you're thinking, Tommy Q, and you're right," she said, watching his eyes cloud over and his heart start to break. But that wasn't all she had to say, so she moved in front of the door, blocking the exit so she could continue without him running away.
"I was going to end it, our engagement, our relationship. But looking at you, I couldn't do it. I've waited so long for you, Tom Quincy, and I refuse to give up now."
Tommy smiled for a moment before asking the question that was still on his mind.
"Even if we are still engaged, I know you, Jude. I know something's changed for you. I love you, girl, so much, but if you're not feeling it, maybe…" he trailed off, unable to bring himself to finish the thought, to tell her that maybe they should be over.
"I want to go to London alone," Jude said, hurriedly adding, "but I want to come home to you."
Now Tommy really was confused. She wanted to leave him, but not really?
"I need to have my own adventures, like you did when you were in Boyz Attack. But at the end of the day, what I really want is you. I want to marry you, be Mrs. Tom DuTois. Is that okay with you?"
"God, yes, anything. As long as I get you, all of you, with me, forever, you can have whatever you want. Hell, Jude, you can have the world as long as you're still mine at the end of the day."
Finally leaving her post in front of the door, Jude launched herself into Tommy's arms. She knew, as his lips met hers in a searing kiss, that she'd made the right decision. All those thoughts she'd had about not wanting to be tied down, wanting to be on her own, had been brought on by her fear. Fear that she and Tommy would never be able to make it work. But as he held her tight, his pure Tommy essence surrounding her, she was finally at peace with the idea that they really were forever. And even though they said you couldn't have it all, Jude knew that she actually could. She would get her solo adventures, her chance to spread her wings and fly, and when she'd had her chance to see the world, she would get a lifetime with the man she loved.
The next day, as she pushed her way through the crowd to get into the car that would take her to the airport, the first stop on her new adventure, she caught Tommy's eye at the back of the crowd. He smiled wide and she felt her own smile grow. She was finally doing something on her own, but when she finished her album and next tour, she'd be coming home to him, Little Tommy Q. And until then, she had the music to get her through.