Kit was fuming. Literally, there might have been steam coming from her ears. People cleared a path for her as she stormed down the hall. She stomped into the Great Hall and didn't even have to look for him. He was boasting about something and she could pick up on his laugh without trying. The whole room went silent as she walked up to him. They knew that a good show was coming up; fights between Sirius and Kit were monumental. The stupid bugger didn't even notice her standing behind him. It was only when she reached down and dumped his bowl of soup on his head that he turned around.

"You are a gigantic asshat."

"Asshat? Really? Nice hair, by the way." He laughed and pointed to her head, as if she didn't know what he'd done. She reached up and grabbed a fistful of his hair.

"Fix it, you prick."

"But you're such a great witch." His sarcastic compliment was cut short when Kit shoved a dinner roll in his mouth.

"Pig."

"Tart."

"Did you just call me a tart?"

"Yep," he took a bite of the dinner roll and chewed it in front of her, looking all smug.

"I swear to God, Black, I will rip you apart."

"I'd like to see you try." And she did. She tried her hardest.

"Don't try and fight me."

God, he was like a friggin' brick wall. "Why?" Kit asked, brushing a strand of orange hair out of her eye.

"You're too small. It's like fighting a hamster."

"A hamster? Why do people like you?" Kit was honestly at a loss. What the hell was with people?

"Because I am incredibly good-looking and charming."

"No, you're not. You are pompus, a jerk, a complete idiot and just annoying!" She gave him another push for good measure.

"You're just saying that."

"Am I?" Kit stopped just before leaving the Great Hall.

"Of course. You're actually in love with me."

It was so on.


"You are impossible!"

"I'm impossible? That's rich," Sirius was storming after Kit, pushing people out of his way.

"Yes, you are impossible. You are a complete dolt."

"Says the person who's voice is like nails on a chalkboard."

"At least my laugh doesn't sound like a hyena dying."

"I'm hurt,"

"I'll hurt you, if that's what you're asking for."

"Go ahead, try your hamster-best." Sirius put his arms out and let her have a free shot. Kit pulled back and punched him in the gut as hard as she could.

"Didn't hurt." He wheezed.

"Really? 'Cause your eyes are watering." Kit patted his cheek before walking off. Sirius watched her leave, waiting until she turned the corner before he doubled over and clutched at his now bruised abdomen.


"Call them off! Kit, this isn't funny, call them off!"

"Not a chance."

"How would you like a flock of annoying, chirping birds following you around. They shit on me, Kit. Twice."

"Oh, I thought you were such an amazing wizard. Make them go away yourself."

"I don't think you understand what I just said." He pulled her to a stop and pointed at his head. "Shit, Katherine, shit on my head."

"Gladly, you asshat."

"Not what I meant!"


"Why did you think this was a good idea?"

"I don't know. According to you I am a dumb, ignorant and insensitive jerk."

"You are. And now I have to deal with you all day."

"Will you just go away?"

"I would if I could let go of your hand. But I can't because you are such a freakin' genius." Kit glared down at their hands, entwined and charmed together.

"For the record, this wasn't what I was planning."

"No, really?" Kit muttered, rolling her eyes.

"You know, if you keep being sarcastic your face will scrunch up and never go back."

"Who gave you that stunning piece of information, as if I didn't know."

"James did."

James Potter, while her friend, was a source of information that shouldn't be trusted. He made half of the things he said up on the spot and because he was such a great Chaser, people took his word as law. Kit was a great Beater and no one thought she was a godsend. The girls at Hogwarts continued to confuse her. Why would anyone think the arrogant, stupid, oily buffoon beside her was a catch?

"I have to pee," Sirius said.

"Congratulations."

"Again with the sarcasm! For a thirteen year old, you are awfully cynical."

"Do you even know what that word means?"

There was a moment of silence.

"No."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Miss Ruskova!" Professor McGonagall's voice stopped their argument abruptly. "While I might sympathize for your situation, I will not have it distracting my class. And as for you, Mister Black," her sharp gaze turned to him. "It is obvious that your Charms skills need as much improvement as your Transfiguration ones. I highly advise you spend less time thinking about how you have to pee and more time actually looking at your textbook." The class sniggered and ducked their heads into their books to hide it.

"But I actually have to pee."

"Forget it. I am not going into the bathroom with you."

"Do you want me to pee on you instead?"

"You are so disgusting!"

"Speak for yourself." Sirius stuck his tongue out at her. They spent the rest of the class glaring at their books. Kit didn't bother writing her notes since she would get them from Remus later. Instead, she was trying to think of a way to undo the stupid spell. They'd tried just cancelling it but apparently Sirius had made the charm too complex. Well, Kit thought, that had been an accident.

"You are fixing this before nine."

"What? Why am I fixing it?"

"Because you're the one who started it, dolt."

"What happens at nine?"

"I really don't want to sleep in the same bed as you."

"You would love it." Sirius wagged his eyebrows at her. Kit huffed and turned to face James.

"He is so annoying. How do you deal with it?"

"I ignore him for the most part." James said with a chuckled.

"Hey!" Sirius shouted indignantly. "I am right here."

"Sorry." James stood and walked to Sirius, putting an arm over his shoulder. "You're almost unbearable."

"You know, I thought we were friends." Sirius pouted at James.

"Yeah, but he likes me better, so ha!" Kit jumped, putting her arm out for James. They walked down the hall together, dragging Sirius along with them.


"I've been thinking, and I know why you hate me so much." Sirius said, sitting awkwardly on the couch beside Kit, who he could not escape.

"You finally came to terms with the fact that you are the most aggravating person to walk this earth?"

"You like me."

Kit threw a book at him in response.

"That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard!"

"You aren't denying it."

"Yes I am! You are the last person I would like."

"Have you ever been kissed?"

Kit turned to look at Sirius suspiciously. "What? No, but what does that-"

"That explains everything. You get these butterflies when you're around me and you start to feel funny, but you don't know what it is so you lash out." He looked at triumphantly.

"No. No, I do not like you."

"No, of course you don't."

"Finally, you understand!"

"You love me."

That statement was wrong in so many ways. Sirius was like her brother, the brother you picked on and taunted for fun. She didn't love him, she barely tolerated him, and that was pushing it on some days. He felt like family, and they had agreed very early on in their friendship that they would both rather stick a bludger up their nose than date each other. Granted, they had made that decision when they were eleven and had just met, but Kit still felt it held true. So when she looked up to see Sirius's face descending to hers, she wanted to scream. Instead, her body went completely still and Sirius Orion Black kissed her. Her first kiss was with him of all people.

Kit gave him a push and wiped her lips clean. "Ew! Gross, gross, gross!" It was like kissing her brother or a dog or something else disgusting. Sirius shrugged.

"You weren't really my type anyway." Kit screamed and whacked him with a pillow as hard as she could with one hand. He was so irritating!

"I can't believe you did that! I can never go back now. My first is was, and always will be, with you. Do you realize how wrong that is?"

"Having your first kiss at thirteen is a bit sad, Kit."

"I'm not a slag, like some people." Kit glared at him.

"Ah, not a slag. I have experience." Sirius smiled in that way he did when he knew he was right. Or at least, he thought he was right. It was that smirk you couldn't wipe off his face and you couldn't convince him he was wrong.

"I hope one day someone comes along and pops your stupid little bubble." Kit spat at him. But being angry at him was difficult when she was forced to hold his hand. She couldn't even cross her arms.

"Come on," she tugged him up and stormed up to the boys' dormitory. "We are getting this fixed." She threw open the door and held their entwined hands aloft. "First person to fix this gets all the chocolate they want from Zonko's next Hogmeade trip." James, and Peter leapt up, as well as two boys a year higher than them. Remus sat on the bed, flipping through a Charms textbook. Three times, Kit had her hand shocked in the hope of breaking the spell. They tried everything they could think of off the top of their heads and it made no difference. At long last, Remus rose and, looking at his textbook once again, pointed his wand at their hands and muttered a spell at them. Kit felt her fingers uncramp and she jumped away from Sirius as quickly as possible.

"Finally!" She spun and threw her arms around Remus. "You saved me from a fate worse than death! I will actually never be able to repay you."

Remus chuckled and hugged her back. "How about we start in small payments?"


I wrote this a while ago because I wanted to do some light-hearted stuff with Kit. Writing about her and Sirius was perfect! This is less of a one-shot and more of a series of little scenes because I love writing dialogue between the two of them. The title comes from a Mozella song by the same name. It fit in my mind :P

I would love to hear what you think about this. Drop a review and let me know if you want to see more flashbacks into the Marauders life.

Dahlia