Never Have I Ever
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of these characters… if I did, Karofsky wouldn't exist anymore, Jesse wouldn't have been such an asshole (albeit one I believe legitimately fell for Rachel), and there would be a LOT more Blaine.
A/n: Okay, so here's another little one shot, inspired by my other story, "Geek," and playing a game of Death Circle a few nights ago (for the record, it's pretty funny to be the only one NOT drinking alcohol while playing that game – this came because Kings incite a round of "Never Have I Ever" in the version we played).
Sam Evans' parents didn't go out of town very often, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to take advantage of it. So since his parents were out of town for the weekend, Sam had invited the entire glee club over to hang out. Puck had supplied a few cases of beer, and after the first round of beers Brittany had come up with the idea of playing a game. It had been Santana who had suggested playing Never Have I Ever, and everyone but Rachel had agreed pretty quickly. Finn had talked to her, though, and eventually convinced her that it was just for fun and she didn't have to play for long.
"Never have I ever… pissed myself at school." Everyone laughed at Tina's comment, mostly choosing to ignore who was drinking because it was kind of gross and most of them had done it when they were little. "Okay, Rachel?"
"Never have I ever gotten detention." Rachel was the only person who didn't drink to that one.
"That's really lame, Man Hands," Santana replied.
"I'm sorry… I don't have as much of a dirty mind as some members of this club."
"Okay, Finn, it's your turn," Mercedes said, effectively stopping the argument before it started.
"Uhh… never have I ever… played this game before?" Everyone laughed, but Puck, Santana, Brittany, Mike, and Sam all drank.
"Never have I ever crushed on a teacher," Santana said. Rachel, Finn, Sam, and Artie all drank. "Alright, Brittany, what have you got?"
"Never have I ever made out with a girl."
"Britt, you have done that," Santana replied, rolling her eyes.
"Oh. Right." All of the guys plus Brittany and Santana drank to that one. Sam raised an eyebrow that Kurt was drinking, until he remembered that Finn had told him about the Mellencamp phase, during which the smaller boy had faked a relationship with Brittany.
"Okay, on that note, never have I ever made out with a guy," Puck said. This time it was all the girls, plus Sam and Kurt.
"Wait… Evans, you kissed a dude?" Puck asked. Sam nodded, turning to see Quinn's reaction to that news. Luckily she looked more suspicious than pissed off.
"Yeah, what of it?"
"Umm, details, Rocky!" Sam rolled his eyes at Santana's enthusiasm for finding out every dirty little detail of what Sam had just admitted he'd done.
"I was a freshman… he was a senior, and he convinced me that I couldn't know for sure until I'd tried it."
"And?"
"And it was weird."
"That's seriously all you have to say about your one big gay moment? That it was weird?"
"It tasted like menthol cigarettes and he was way more into it than I was. It was weird," Sam added. He didn't really have anything else to say on the subject.
"Oooh… a bad boy? I didn't think that was your type, Rocky," Santana teased.
"Moving on… Mercedes, I think it's your turn," Sam said. He wanted to get away from the make out questions as quickly as possible because it was starting to get awkward as hell.
"Never have I ever… gotten caught doing something that was against the law." Puck, Kurt, and Sam all drank.
"Kurt, Sam?" No one needed to ask what Puck had done, given the fact that they all knew he had just gotten out of juvie a few weeks earlier.
"Speeding ticket," the two boys replied, almost simultaneously. Sam was just tipsy enough to find that hilarious, so he started laughing.
"Never have I ever had a "legitimate" significant other," Kurt said, even supplying the air quotes to make sure that everyone understood what he meant by that phrase – a significant other of the opposite sex that wasn't just a cover.
"Nice cop-out, Hummel," Puck commented, before taking a swig of his beer. Everyone else in the room, besides Kurt, took another drink of beer as well.
"My turn," Quinn said, looking around the room for a moment. "Never have I ever dated someone from another school." Rachel and Kurt were the only ones who drank on that one; it was the fact that Kurt was drinking that made the rest of the club raise an eyebrow.
"No comment" was Kurt's only comment on the subject.
"Okay… never have I ever had sex," Sam said. He was a little uncomfortable having admitted that, until he realized that Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt also weren't drinking.
"I'd be more than happy to remedy that one, Rocky," Santana replied, once she'd put her beer back down in front of her.
"No offense, Santana, but you're not really my type…" Sam replied.
"What's wrong with me? Do you have some kind of fetish for mommies?"
"No… blondes." Sam smiled and put an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.
"Well, when you get sick of waiting for Princess Prude to put out for you, I'm sure I can help you find someone who meets your standards."
"You know, Santana, some of us are waiting because we want sex to actually mean something," Rachel replied. Sam watched as Santana rolled her eyes.
"He's a guy, Man Hands… his dick doesn't care."
"Are we seriously starting to discuss my package?" Sam asked, raising one eyebrow. He wasn't drunk enough for that one yet.
"Okay, this conversation has officially hit awkward. Never have I ever taken dance lessons," Artie said, moving the conversation away from Sam's sex life. This time it was Tina, Mike, Rachel, Kurt, and the three Cheerios who drank.
"Never have I ever… dated someone who wasn't Asian?"
"MIKE!" Everyone else took a drink, before Brittany got a confused look on her face.
"So wait… what was in Sam's package?"
A/n: So yes, I had to end it with a Brittany joke. It was just too easy. And I'm sure you can figure out who I had a difficult time finding something for – Mike was a total cop-out (but I thought it was funny, so I went with it).
Also, this is a one-shot… but that doesn't mean that I'm not open to requests for more drinking game one-shots or short scenes about the aftermath; just make sure you tell me what game (has to be one I can find on the Internet, though) or whose aftermath you want to know about. Which means you have to review if you want more Gleek Drinking Games…