I felt the tug in my mind; Nora had finally given in to sleep deprivation giving me the chance to talk to her whether she wanted it or not, I had to try to explain what was going on. I was sitting on the porch rail of the front porch of Nora's farmhouse. The weather was stormy, matching the confusing feelings swirling through my head. I knew she wouldn't want to listen to me but I had to try, because whether I could say it or not I loved her. I barely glanced up to see her standing with the wind blowing her hair, in her pajamas.
"Get out of my dream," she yelled at me over the deafening wind.
I shook my head. "Not until I tell you what's going on."
Tugging on her nightshirt she yells, "I don't want to hear what you have to say," tearing a hole in my heart from the distrust in her voice.
"The archangels can't hear us here," I say hoping it will give her an opening to try to be reasonable.
She gave a strained, sarcastic laugh, "It wasn't enough manipulating me in real life-now you have to do it here, too?" I lifted my head.
"Manipulating? I'm trying to tell you what's going on," I stated.
"You're forcing your way inside my dreams," she accused. "You did it after the Devil's Handbag, and you're doing it know." I watched as a strong gust of wind blew her backwards causing her hair to wrap around her face, I had to brace myself not to run to help her, but I couldn't do that know our relationship wasn't stable as it once was.
"After the Z, in the Jeep, you told me you'd had a dream about Marcie's dad. The night you had the dream, I was thinking about him. I was remembering the exact memory you dreamed about, wishing there was some way I could tell you the truth. I didn't know I was communicating with you." It was then when I discovered how connected our minds really are.
"You made me have that dream?" she questioned.
"Not a dream. A memory," I stated. I watched as she tried to untangle the pieces to her puzzling dream, my memory. "I don't know how I overlapped your dreams, but I've been trying to communicate with you the same way since." I thought back to the night we kissed again, the night she touched my scars, trying to choose my next words carefully. "I got through the night I kissed you after the Devil's Handbag, but now I keep hitting walls. I'm lucky I'm here now. I think it's you. You're not letting me in." I spoke.
"Because I don't want you inside my head!" she screamed.
I finally pushed myself off the railing walking slowly to meet her in the yard. "I need you to let me in," I carefully whispered conveying my emotions in my voice. She turned from me. "I was reassigned to Marcie," I spoke more harshly. I watched her face as the pieces fell into place and finally clicked, she looked sick.
"You're Marcie's guardian angel?" she shakily questioned, almost not believing me.
"It hasn't been a pleasure cruise," I grimaced.
"Did the archangels do this?" she questioned looking more nauseous, than before.
"When they assigned me as your guardian, they made it clear I was supposed to have your best interests in mind. Getting involved with you wasn't in your best interest." It was in my mine. "I knew it, but I didn't like the idea of the archangels telling me what to do with my personal life. They were watching the night you gave me your ring." The promise of the love I wished I could return. "As soon as I realized they were watching us, I took off. But the damage was done. They told me I'd be out as soon as they found a replacement. Then they assigned me to Marcie. I went to her house that night to force myself to face what I'd done." I watched as her multiple emotions dance across her face.
"Why, Marcie? To punish me?" she asked bitterly. I ran my hands over my face in frustration wanting to try to explain.
"Marcie's dad is a first-generation Nephilim, a purebred. Now that Marcie is sixteen, she's in danger of being sacrificed. Two months ago, when I tried to sacrifice you to a get a human body, but ended up saving your life, there weren't many fallen angels who believed they could change what they were." I thought back to when I saved Nora's life, the best decision I had made so far in my existence. "I'm a guardian now. They all know it, and they all know it's because I saved you from dying. Suddenly a lot more of them believe they can cheat fate too. Either by saving a human and getting their wings back"- I paused- "or by killing their Nephil vassal and transforming their body from falling angel to human." It's hard to believe my one mistake, or good deed caused the fallen angels to fight back what they are.
"You mean it's your job to make sure the fallen angle who forces Hank Miller to swear fealty doesn't sacrifice Marcie to get a human body." She spoke slowly like trying to see if she hadn't missed anything. However, I knew the remaining thought to answer to question soon to come.
"Marcie doesn't know. She's completely in the dark." Emotions danced across Nora's face some good, most bad and I hated this, I hated Marcie, I hated myself for putting Nora in this situation, but I had to continue with the rest of the information I knew, while she was listening. "Chauncey formed the Nephilim blood society." Her attention returned fully to me after that.
"What? How do you know?" I reluctantly braced myself to answer.
"I've accessed a few memories. Other people's memories." I knew she wouldn't be happy with me invading people's privacy, but I was doing her for her, her safety is what is most important to me, not Marcie's, but I could no longer defy the wishes of the archangels, well at least not for long. "A successor picked up where Chauncey left off. I haven't been able to get a name yet"-yet, but I will-"but rumor has it he isn't happy about Chauncey's death, which doesn't make sense. He's in charge now-that alone should have wiped away any remorse he felt over Chauncey's death. Which makes me wonder if the successor was a close friend of Chauncey's, or relative." I watched as she shook her head, curly hair flying back in forth, like trying to decide whether to believe me or not.
"I don't want to hear this," she had to hear this whether she wanted to listen or not.
"The successor has a contract out on Chauncey's killer," I watched as her further protest died on her tongue. I caught her eyes forcing her to look at me not at the ground pretending I wasn't there, I knew she was thinking of what had happened that night two months ago in the High school's gym. "He wants the killer to pay," I said slowly holding her eye contact, letting the words sink in.
"You mean he wants me to pay," she whispered, fear in her eyes.
"Nobody knows you killed Chauncey. He didn't know you were his female descendant until moments before he died, so there's little chance anyone else knew. Chauncey's successor might try to track down Chauncey's descendents, but I wish him luck. It took me a long time to find you," I slowly took a step towards, the person that changed to course of my life, but she stepped away from me. "When you wake up, I need you to say you want me as your guardian angel again. Say it like you mean it, so the archangels hear it, and hopefully grant your request"-and mine-"I'm doing everything I can to keep you safe, but I'm restricted. I need heightened access to the people around you, your emotions, everything in your world," you.
I watched her face contort with confusion mixed with the turmoil of the situation. In a brief moment, I could no longer take the distance between us I stepped forward while she was deep in thought and placed my hands on her hips, which I used to pull her close, holding her against me where I knew she would be safe. "I'm no going to let anything happen to you," I whispered in her ear.
She stiffened her body in my arms and she twisted away from me, I automatically missed her presence whether I could feel the warmth of her body or not. When I looked into her eyes, they were blank of emotion, as if for once she wasn't blocking me from her emotions. She then surprised me, my mind felt her push, she was pushing me out of her dream. I grabbed for her elbow. "What are you doing?" I couldn't let her leave. I put my hands on her face forcing her to look me in the eyes. " Don't wake up, angel," I pled. "There's more you need to know. There's a very important reason why you need to see these memories. I'm trying to tell you something that I can't tell you any other way. I need you to figure out what I'm trying to tell you. I need you to stop blocking me."
She jerked her face from my hands and her body started to rise from the grass, drifting towards the stormy clouds. I reached for her muttering every curse that I could remember under my breath, but it was too late. I had lost her. I felt the final push in my mind and then I was alone in my apartment. Why can't she see I am doing this for her? Because I love her, I just can't say it because her safety is in jeopardy from Chauncey's successor and the archangels. Can't she see that I love her; can't she feel it in my kiss? I pulled her copper ring, which I wore on my silver chain that she once wore out from my shirt. She had me forever and I would regain her trust and her love. I will.