DIsclaimer: I do not own HSM..or the wonderful song i used. Im sorry its another songfic..I just hear so many Tryan songs that will make good fics.

Note: This story is dediated to my best Friend Beckie because this song was given to me by her. Also it is because it has a little something to do with her past. Love ya beck!

I cant believe it. The two most awful things that could ever happen just did. He left after our fight and now will never come back.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
cause I know I dont belong here in heaven...

We were so happy together. I loved him and he loved me. It hurt to fight. Especially over something as stupid as me getting the star role in the school play. I never planned to be a good actor,just as he never planned to do basketball. It all just happened. Just like tonight.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
Ill find my way through night and day
cause I know I just cant stay here in heaven...

It was about 7:30 and we had enough of each other and so he left. At 7:35 it happened. When he said goodbye I didn't know it was going to be our last.

Mum called and told me. She told me that a drunk driver hit him and smashed his car to pieces. I asked if he was going to be alright and was on my way to go to the hospital,but Mum said it was too late. He was already gone.

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please

Why did we have to fight? Why couldn't I just let him have his way and give him my part. It'd be way better than this. Why wasn't it me driving home instead of him? I know there was really nothing to do anymore. I can't change time and I cant change what I said.

I know there was one thing I could do. Even if I was scared I know it wouldn't really make the problem go away. I certainly didn't want to get used to life without Troy. I loved him. If this was the only way to be with him than I'll do it.

I went down to the kitchen,hoping no one will hear me. I only saw and heard mom talking on the telephone,guessing shes talking about what happened. I quietly run over to the cabinet with all the cooking knives and grab the sharpest one.

"Ryan?"

"Yes?" I quickly put the knife carefully into my pocket tucking my shirt over it and was lucky it was in a case. After all, I didn't want mum to actually witness it.

"Honey, what are you doing?" she asks looking over at me.

"Just getting some uh ice cream" Crap. I forgot that she knew I only ate ice cream when I'm upset or something is the matter. Well after all, my boyfriend died,so something is the matter. But I didn't want her to know.

"Oh Ry, come here baby." She pulled me into hug stroking my hair the way Troy would. "It must be really hard for you. You were closer than all of us." She hugged me tighter

"Mum?"

"Yes dear?"

"Mum?"

" Yes?"

"Mom, I cant breathe" I said gasping for air and felt the grip loosen as she let go. Before getting attacked by another hug I ran up to my room and shut the door

I pull the knife out and examine it and all it's shiny goodness. I stop and think for a minute, of everything,and see if it's worth it. If I go through with this there'd be no more people calling me fags. No more teasing, no more fights,no more Sharpay. No more of her whining. Best of all, I'd see Troy again.

Beyond the door theres peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...

I decide to go through with it. I lift the sleeve off my shirt up and carefully slit my wrist. The blood is coming out slowly so I do the other one also. Watching every drip I drift away from the cold,dark room and hear voices shouting,probably from Mum and Shar, possibly dad,which I doubt.

I drift farther and farther until I reach that light I was after. After getting in through the gate I begin to look around for you. I beginning to think I was stupid to do this. I'm not having much luck finding you.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...

I decide I wont have luck finding you today, so I sit down sadly and cry. A familiar voice calls and gets closer. I look up and see him standing there over me,Happy and sad at the same time. He gives me a squeeze and a kiss and wipes away my tears.

Beyond the door theres peace I'm sure

"I'm sorry about the fight" I say quietly.

"what fight?" he says playfully and gives me another kiss and whispers " This time we really will be together forever."

And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...

Revvieewwss make me feel special :D