A/N: Now that The Quadruple Fortnight Potential is done I was I looking through all my old TBBT work and found this. Wow. I kinda forgot about it. All I remember from when I first wrote it was that it was set sometime when Penny and Leonard were broken up and unattached and that I wrote it while listening to One More Night. Hope you guys enjoy!
Disclaimer: Lorre and Prady
The Ben & Jerry Excitation
Leonard was carrying his laundry back up the stairs when he saw Penny, in her Cheesecake uniform, unlocking her door. "Hey, how was work," asked Leonard.
"Bad" replied Penny with a death glare.
Leonard was awkwardly balancing his laundry basket between himself and the door "do you want to talk about it".
"No" growled Penny as she opened her door and slammed it behind her.
Leonard flinched at the door slamming and dropped his basket. He started to pick up some fallen laundry when his apartment door opened. "Doesn't Penny know that some of us are trying to sleep" asked Sheldon.
"She had a bad day at work" said Leonard as he folded his recycle shirt and placed it back in the basket.
"And her mensies are coming. Not a good combination" said Sheldon with a shake of his head.
"Maybe I should go make her feel better" contemplated Leonard.
"Knowing Penny she already has some comfort. Ben, Jerry and a bottle of wine" reflected Sheldon.
Leonard picked up his basket "I'm going over anyway".
"Your loss" said Sheldon as he disappeared back into the apartment.
Leonard walked over to 4A and knocked on the door.
"What" asked Penny, a pint of Ben & Jerry's in her hand.
"I just wanted you... to know that- if you need to talk about anything that... I'm here" said Leonard apprehensively.
Penny placed a hand on his shoulder "that's very sweet of you, but I just want to be alone"
. "Okay, if you need anything my door is open" said Leonard.
"I know" said Penny.
Leonard turned around to leave.
"Wait" said Penny.
"Yes" said Leonard, a bit too eagerly.
"You can come in" said Penny opening her door a little wider so he could follow her in. "Want a glass" she asked as she grabbed a bottle of wine.
"Sure" said Leonard.
Penny got a clean glass from the counter and poured a conservative amount for Leonard and a generous amount in hers. She sat down on the couch and handed Leonard his glass. "So it started out when my agent called and said I didn't get a part in this commercial. That wasn't too bad until I went to work and Amanda was working. You know how I feel about her" said Penny.
Leonard drank some wine "yeah".
"There was this cute guy in my section and we got to chatting. I was going to give him my number when I saw that skank talking to him. As I got to the table she gave him her number and walked off. Then she turned around and mouthed 'nice try' to me".
"That bitch" said Leonard supportively.
"I know right. Then a pitcher of water spilled on my apron ruining everyone's orders so I had to go around and get them again. When I finally got off work there was a ticket on my car for parking too close to a hydrant" finished Penny. She started to cry and downed the rest of her glass "I'm never going to amount to anything".
Leonard sat his glass down and scooted closer to Penny and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. Someday you're going to be a successful actress and you're going to go home to a loving husband".
"You always knew the right things to say. Why did I ever break up with you" she asked.
"I was clingy, always a page ahead of you on our relationship, talking about-".
Leonard was cut off by Penny's lips on his. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but gently settled as she didn't stop. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. After a few more moments she pulled away ever so slightly. "Wow, okay" said Leonard.
She stood up and pulled Leonard up with her. "Where are we going" he asked, confused.
"We're having sex" she shouted just a bit too loudly.
"Is that really a good idea" he asked.
"You're really going to pass up sex" she asked.
"No, no, I was just asking for reference" said Leonard.
"Good" said Penny as she took him into her room.
-o-O-o-
Leonard woke up disorientated. He felt something heavy on his chest. He saw a blurry outline of a blonde's head. "Penny?" He said as he put his glasses back on.
"Hmm" she said as she raised her head looking at him "Oh God".
"That makes me feel good" replied Leonard.
"I didn't mean that. Well I did, but not like that" spluttered Penny.
"Then what did you mean" he asked.
"It wasn't the sex. The sex was good. It's just... I didn't mean it. I was mad and hormonal and I just wanted some human contact" explained Penny.
"Nice to know I was the one you settled for" said Leonard grumpily.
"No! God, Leonard. You're making this difficult. I feel bad because I didn't want to do anything that would raise your hopes that we would get back together" said Penny.
Leonard sighed "I know. I should have left, but there was a part of me that hoped we would have more than just this one night".
"I'm sorry sweetie. I should have thought about you" said Penny.
Leonard got up from the bed and pulled on his shirt and pants.
"Wait" said Penny. Leonard paused as he was adjusting his belt. She got up and walked over to him. She licked her thumb and started to rub it over Leonard's face. "What's that for" he asked.
"I left some lipstick on you. I rather Sheldon not know about this, but after past times I'm sure he heard us" said Penny.
"Well...um...bye" said Leonard awkwardly.
"Bye" said Penny. He left the apartment and walked over to his. The door was locked. "Sheldon" said Leonard as he knocked loudly on the door. Sheldon opened the door and stared at Leonard. "Thanks" said Leonard as he walked passed him.
"Leonard" said Sheldon.
"Yes" he replied.
"Were you having coitus with Penny last night" he asked bluntly.
"No" replied Leonard as he turned around to go to his room.
"I could hear you. I suppose our other neighbors did as well," said Sheldon as he grabbed his box of cereal from the high fiber end. Leonard groaned and held his fingers on the bridge of his nose.
