A Yahtzee Christmas or How the Messer Kids Decided to Trap Santa Claus or How Danny Managed to Set Up Two Hot Wheels Car Tracks, a Barbie Dream House, a Bike and Fish Tank in Three Hours
A/N: I figured I needed a true Christmas short story featuring my favorite characters ever. DJ, Bella, Evan, PJ and Miracle are back to spread Christmas cheer or mischeif depending on which parent you are talking to. The kids are seven and have gotten good at opening and re-wrapping Christmas presents. This year they're going to get caught. Merry Christmas to all!!
Lindsay was weary. She hadn't heard a sound for almost an hour. Now for some parents that was a good thing, but not in the Messer house. Five seven year olds home for Christmas break and her. Something was up. She went into the living room and inspected the Christmas tree. She could tell they had been into their presents again. Lindsay decided that if they were going to ruin their Christmas surprises every year, she wasn't going to put out their presents until Christmas Eve.
She wandered upstairs listening for any sounds that would give away her brood. She finally found them in the boy's room. DJ, the ring leader of the clan had them sat in a circle in front of an Etch-A-Sketch. Lindsay stood outside the door listening to Plan 13579, The Santa Trap. Lindsay had to swallow her laugh. Every year since they were old enough to figure out the truth about Santa all they could think about was catching Santa. Lindsay pulled out her phone and took a short video of the five of them to send to Danny in the lab.
"This year, we are going to catch him," DJ said. "Evan is going to build the trap, PJ and Bella will set the bait, and we'll all watch from the stairs to make sure it works."
"May I remind you that I was against this from the beginning and when you get in trouble for it, I will say such," Bella said.
"Your objection to this plan has been heard and ignored," Evan said. "Now we've all watched the material correct?"
"Can you just call it 'Home Alone'?" Bella asked, clearly annoyed and unmotivated.
Ignoring his sister, Evan continued speaking. "The trap starts with marbles under the fireplace so Santa slips. He'll reach for the chair which will have honey or something equally as sticky on the arm. Once Santa stands back up he'll slide on the liqiud laundry soap and fly right into the closet which will trigger a wire closing the door, locking him inside."
Lindsay had to walk away quickly as she was trying very hard not to laugh. She went back down to the kitchen to call Danny. She had to tell him what his kids were planning on doing to Santa.
"Now that's not fair," Danny whined into his phone. "Why are they my kids when they are getting into trouble and your kids when they bring home perfect report cards?"
"Because you and Don are a bad influence on them," Lindsay said. "I'm just warning you so you can be properly padded for this stunt. Did you get all the Santa gifts?"
"PJ's bike is safely hidden in the drug vault at the lab. The boys' Hot Wheels tracks are in Flack's desk drawers, Bella's Barbie dream house is in Stella's office and the aquarium should be delivered sometime today."
It had taken a long time for Danny and Lindsay to decide on what to get each kid for Christmas. Each of them had their own unique tastes in everything. The boys had gotten into cars so Hot Wheels stuff seemed appropriate. Bella was a walking talking Barbie doll even at seven so the Barbie Dream House seemed the right thing to do. Miracle was still into fish so the giant aquarium was going to be a big hit, even if Miracle didn't acknowledge it. Then because Don is an idiot and left PJ's bike out PJ got a new bike. They decided that the best hiding place would be at the lab. That way the kids couldn't sneak around the house looking for their presents.
"How sure are you that the boys' tracks are still in Don's desk and not set up in his place?" Lindsay questioned.
"Because I have Stella on watch," Danny said. "If she finds Flack with any toys that don't already belong to him, she's to steal them back. DJ's missing Hulk action figure? Don's desk."
"You know that explains so much about the two of you," Lindsay sighed. "Just make sure everything gets home in time. I don't want to have to explain to the kids why Santa forgot about them. Oh by the way, they're going to try to trap Santa this year."
"I thought you destroyed that copy of Home Alone?" Danny teased.
"DJ and Evan went over to your cousin Lucy's to play with her boys and they got a chance to see it again and this time they took notes."
"Let me guess marbles, something sticky on the chair and a trail of soap to lead me into the closet where a tripwire with cause the door to stick?" Danny said.
"Something like that. You should have seen the Etch-A-Sketch plan Evan had, it was quite ingenius. I'll let you get back to work. Are you sure you're going to get all this done by morning?"
"Well, getting locked in the closet is going to take a chunk of time away but I think I can. Just make sure the aquarium guys get everything set and I'll have the fish by tonight."
"You know, Chirstmas was never this much work before," Lindsay sighed.
"You're the one who wanted to have a big family."
"I just didn't plan on having them all at the same time!"
Before Danny could get a word in she hung up the phone and went back to the kitchen where she had been before the all too quiet of the house drew her away. It was going to be the first time Danny's parents would be coming to them for the holidays and Lindsay wanted to make sure everything was perfect. It was common knowledge that Caralina, Danny's mom, liked Lindsay more than she did Danny, so no matter what happened with dinner tomorrow Lindsay would not face the wrath of the monster in law.
One by one, her five children snuck down the stairs and into the living room to shake their presents from Grandma and Grandpa Monroe one more time. Both Danny and Lindsay felt bad that the kids very rarely got to see Lindsay's side of the family, but to fly seven people, five of them being under three feet tall was too much for any set of parents. They figured that when the kids got older they would take a family vacation out to the Monroe's ranch in Montana.
Just when the silence was growing on Lindsay, Miracle started in on the piano. She had taught herself all the parts of Carol of the Bells and had taken to playing it over and over. Between Miracle's piano and the Trio causing havoc, Lindsay's quiet Christmas Eve afternoon went downhill. They still had Christmas Mass to attend later that evening and make a pit stop at Mac and Peyton's for Mac's last minute Christmas gift exchange.
Lindsay left the kitchen with the bowl of cookie dough sitting on the counter to investigate the progress of the "Santa Trap". While she was gone, DJ snuck into the kitchen and got a spoon out of the drawer and proceeded to scoop out large spoonfuls of dough out of the bowl and into the chasm that was his stomach. Lindsay wasn't too surprised to catch him being that she had caught Danny in the exact same spot two days ago, doing the exact same thing. If she remembered right they had the exact same facial expression when they were caught. Like father, like son, Lindsay had thought.
Soon the fish guys had come and gone and it was getting closer to when Danny would be coming home with all the goodies and the kids would have to be locked away to get the gifts into the house without being seen. Lindsay devised a fool-proof way to make sure it happened. She had the boys bathed first and locked them in their room to get dressed for church. She had laid out the suits and Christmas vests Grandma Monroe had made for the boys and Danny to wear that year. All three were told that they had to be worn and there was to be no complaints at all or they would be grounded for the remainder of the Christmas vacation. For Danny that meant he would be banned from Hawkes' New Year's Eve Blowout and would go to the Midnight Ball with her and Stella. Not that he had a choice in the matter anyway. Both he and Flack were brow beaten into attending anyway.
Danny slipped in the back door of the house while Lindsay was upstairs with the girls in their baths. He got the boys' stuff into his and Lindsay's room, then Bella's Barbie house, PJ's bike and finally Miracle's fish. Next year, they're all getting the same damn thing, was Danny's thoughts as he drug the items into the house.
Pressed and polished, the five Messer kids sat perfectly still on the couch waiting for their parents to get changed for church. It took all the strength and will power that PJ possessed to not rip the dress to shreds. Why her mother and grandmothers insist on dressing her in these horrible dresses were beyond her. Her mother knew she didn't like to wear stuff like this yet she insisted on having her wear this thing.
Danny and Lindsay came downstairs and soon bundled the kids up and off to church. Once at Danny's parents church, the quints were fussed over by all of the bitties that Caralina was friends with. PJ kept her "God get them away from me" smile plastered on her face while Bella answered every question with gusto. The boys fidgeted with their suits and were counting the seconds until they could get home and set the Santa Trap.
When the family got home PJ was the first inside and out of her Christmas dress. The boys were next but they were more dilberate in their preperations. It was the executing of the Santa Trap where DJ's leadership fell into Evan's hands. Danny gave the boys fifteen minutes to set their trap then it was off to bed.
Danny and Lindsay made their rounds reading "The Night Before Christmas" with proper changes to fit the household of a NYC brownstone apartment. Each kid was tucked tight into their bed. Then Danny chaired each door to keep them in there until he got most of their presents assembled. Luckily for him PJ's bike was done all it needed was the bow. Miracle's fish tank took some time but soon it was up and running, complete with the fish, coral and underwater treasures. Bella's dreamhouse took a little longer what with having to place all the items in the house and of course the Barbie's themselves.
After all that he had bee at the Santa gig for almost two hours. He figured at least the boys had figured out that they were locked in their rooms so he had to hurry to get the Hot Wheels tracks built. After forty-three minutes and twenty seven seconds, 1400 damn its, 340 f-ing POS's and one temper tantrum, DJ's track was complete and working. Now that he had it figured out Evan's was a breeze. He slipped upstairs and released the chairs from the doors and jumped into his Santa suit. He put his cell in his pocket so he could call Lindsay to come get him out of the closet after the kids had him trapped. He walked past the doors, shaking a string of bells to get their attention. He then went down the stairs and back into the living room. He stocked the stockingsuntil he heard footsteps on the stairs. He laughed a big Santa laugh and winced as he stepped on the marbles, falling to the floor.
"See Bella!" DJ whispered. "I told you he was real!"
Santa Danny reached for the chair and got a handful of maple syrup. He struggled to his feet as he walked towards the kitchen to clean off his hands. Along the way he slipped on the trail of laundry soap and fell again. He however did not go sailing into the closet like Evan had hoped. But little did each of the kids know and Danny; Lindsay and Flack had added a little something to the Santa Trap for good measure. As Santa Danny reached for the siding of the archway leading to the kitchen his hand found a string, which released a set of weights that propeled the coffee table forward knocking the unsuspecting Santa Danny into the closet, activating the lock, trapping him in.
DJ, Evan, PJ and Bella raced down the stairs overjoyed that they had caught Santa this year. Evan struggled with his lock and opened the door. He pulled it open slowly peeking inside. Santa's hat was askew along with his beard.
"I can't belive that actually worked!" Evan said, excitedly.
Danny lowered his voice and laughed. "That it did Evan Travis Messer. Now would you four lovely children let Santa out so he can finish his deliveries to the rest of the boys and girls in the world?"
"You're not the real Santa," Bella said. "You're just one of his helpers. The REAL Santa wouldn't have fallen for Evan's stupid trap."
"You're right Miss Isabella Louise Messer. And for that I have a very special present for you. The rest of you to bed!"
The boys and PJ whined as they trudged back up the stairs. Bella helped Santa Danny up. "Now you have to promise that you won't breathe a word of this to any of your brothers and sisters."
"I won't tell Daddy," Bella whispered. "I promise." With that she kissed him on the cheek and went back up to her room.
Just before Danny went back to bed he hung a diamond Journey pendant on the tree and the Past, Present, Future three stone ring on another branch for Lindsay to find.
Christmas was a bustle of activity in the Messer house. Each of the kids loved their Santa gifts. But Lindsay hadn't figured out why Santa had left her an ALS. In another present she opened she found a small note informing her of the reason for the light.
My dearest, darling, love of my life, Lindsay,
For the record I did not only get you a new ALS for your kit but something I think you will enjoy so much more. Scan the tree and two very special somethings will appear.
I love you baby,
Danny
Lindsay took the light and scanned the tree, first finding the ring then the necklace. She smiled and hugged Danny, kissing him, grossing out their children. None of the kids noticed Danny walking strangely during the day. Evan and DJ took apart their tracks and built a cooler one. Danny tried to supress his annoyance but just laughed.
The rest of the day was spent tripping over Hot Wheels cars, rushing around the kitchen getting dinner ready. Danny's parents arrived with more new stuff for the kids. It was a very Yahtzee Christmas indeed.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight! Have a safe and wonderful New Year!