Everything That Can Go Wrong, a gundam seed fanfic

Everything That Can Go Wrong
Chapter 1: Use Your One Call Wisely

Friday, July 21, 10:05 pm
ORB Police Station

No matter which angle Shinn Asuka approached this situation from, the result was always the same.

He was screwed.

"Look," he said, trying to reason with the police officer who was currently standing behind him. "Um, Mike, right? You have to hear me out before you go and throw me in jail. Everything that happened tonight was just a huge misunderstanding."

"I heard ya, punk," replied Mike, rolling his eyes before prodding Shinn forward. Shinn growled, but had no choice but to move. "And there just ain't any way that what you're sayin' is true. Too many things happenin' by chance, for my taste."

Shinn let out an angry breath.

"But it's the truth."

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Mike, sounding like he was an underpaid employee with a truckload of bitterness in his life from dealing with low life criminals everyday.

Which was, of course, correct.

"Save the bullshittin' for someone who gives a damn."

At that moment, Shinn would've very much liked to punch this Mike, the most wannabe police officer he had faced in his entire life.

Unfortunately he couldn't, since he was kind of handcuffed, and Mike had on his person quite a few more firearms than what was legal.

"Listen, Mike," he said instead, gathering up every ounce of charm he had – which even he had to admit was a bare minimum. "You seem like a family man to me. Pretty wife, a couple of kids, right? One probably heading off to college around now?"

Mike looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah. So?"

A sliver – or rather a bucket load – of arrogance washed over him as he realized just how good of a sweet talker he was.

He's give any would-be player a run for his money, that was sure.

Suppressing a mental smirk that was just screaming to become physical, Shinn continued, "I have a girlfriend, you know. She and her sister are flying in from PLANTs tomorrow morning. We're going to my best friend's wedding, see, and if I don't go and pick her up, she had no way of getting anywhere."

Giving Shinn a look that said, do I honestly look like an idiot to you?, Mike replied, "Well, I guess she'll be hailin' a taxi tomorrow or somethin'."

Shinn eyebrows were now staring to twitch.

"I'm already on thin ice with her, man. I promised I'd go and pick her up." Shinn mustered up the most pathetic look he could, making his eyes just the slightest bit glazed.

Lunamaria did say that when it came down to it, he could manage the 'cute' look.

"She can do so much better than me. I have to give her everything she deserves. You can't wreck a guy's chance at true love, right?"

To Shinn's utter disappointment, it seemed as if Mike was immune to everything he had, since he just rolled his eyes a little bit, and said, "You're just gonna have ta stay in here for two nights, kid, till you're legally allowed to get the money."

Then, he added as an afterthought, "Remember you get one phone call. Call someone to come'n bail you out or somthin'."

They stopped in front of a cell where three men clad in orange were looking at them curiously.

"Now get in there," said Mike, unlocking the handcuffs, and giving Shinn a slight push before sliding the bars shut. "Someone will come by in a few t' tell ya when you can call."

All forms of civility snapped once Shinn was – somewhat safe – behind bars.

"You bastard cop!" he yelled, his fists curled around the metal bars, "Just wait the hell till I get out of here! I'll show you how real men settle their fights!"

"Yeah, wi' big talk n' no walk."

Shinn's narrowed his eyes. "Just watch, you asshole. I know I'm on the right and you're not."

Mike, who had started walking, said, "Sure. I ain't the one who was caught with thirty seven pounds of pot."

Shinn's face reddened. "I already told you what really happened you son of a bi–!"

Mike never looked back, and muttered something like, "Disrespectful punks..."

Huffing moodily, Shinn stalked over to the bench that was on the corner of the fairly large cell. Plopping down beside one of the guys, Shinn sighed, and rested his face on his hands.

And then he noticed the queer look he was getting from the rest of his cellmates.

Shinn felt the slightest bit awkward.

"What?" he snapped defensively.

And to Shinn's growing discomfort, the three just continued to stare at him.

Friday July 21, 10:45 pm
Arc Light Hotel – Room 1616

"Awesome," said Dearka cheerfully as he plopped on top of the lavishly decorated queen sized bed. "Hard to believe someone was here just an hour ago."

Yzak and Shiho looked at each other from the mouth of the door, before looking at Dearka.

"Um, Yzak," said Shiho, slowly walking in to the room. "Why is Dearka sharing our hotel room when it only has one bed?"

"Hell if I know," said Yzak, marching up to Dearka and shoving him off the bed.

"Ow," said Dearka with a pout, rubbing his hip.

Yzak rolled his eyes.

"Look 'ere, asshole," said Yzak, glaring down at his friend. He pointed towards the couch. "If you're gonna stay here then you better limit yourself to the couch."

"But why?" he asked, getting up.

He looked at Yzak straight in the eye and for a moment, Yzak seriously thought offended Dearka.

Until, of course, Dearka broke into a grin, threw his arm around Shiho's shoulder, and said, "You know that we'd make the hottest threesome in this building right?"

There was a moment of silence.

Then Yzak shouted, "You bastard!" and Shiho took it as her cue to shove Dearka's unwanted limb off of her.

Chuckling, Dearka headed out the door. "I'm going to the bar. Maybe pick up a few chicks."

Then he stopped and gave them a superior smirk. "And I bet you'll both be slapping yourself when I'm at my own threesome with two sexy g–"

Yzak shut the door before Dearka finished his sentence.

"Good riddance," said Yzak, before jumping down on the bad. "Hey. This is a pretty awesome bed."

"Yeah," said Shiho, lowering herself down on to the royal blue sheets. "Wonder how they cleaned this place up so fast."

"Who knows," said Yzak, fluffing up his pillows and closing his eyes. "I really don't give a damn on why some guy had to leave for legal reasons. I'm just happy that we have this room when we never made a booking."

"Mm hmm." Shiho paused thoughtfully. "Thanks for bringing me to this wedding. People would murder for an invite to this."

"Of course," Yzak grunted. "Who else was I gonna ask? Dearka?"

"Guess not, since he already had an invitation," she said, crawling over to Yzak and shrugging off his thin jacket. "But now that he's gone, what do you say that we engage in a... twosome... of our own right around now?"

"Nh, Shiho, not today," he said sleepily. "'M tired."

Shiho gave him an odd look.

When it he didn't answer, she said, "Yzak, I'm not saying this because of my lack of faith in you, but... are you on something or what?"

"What? No!" Yzak glared. "Why would you say that?"

"You just said no. To sex."

"I can say no to sex!" snapped Yzak, sitting up, looking quite defensive. "I'm not like... some kind of machine!"

Shiho looked at him in such a way that Yzak unintentionally looked back at what he had just said.

He paused.

"Oh," he said.

"Yeah," agreed Shiho.

Yzak wondered what was wrong with him today.

Friday, July 21, 11:05 pm
Choca-Nilla Café

The young waitress eyed the man who was sitting on the corner table as she got ready for her shift, tying her would-be sexy apron – it would've been sexy had it been any other color than the hideous shade of brown – behind her back.

Although she'd just come to her shift, she knew that the man had been there for a while. It was the topic of conversation to every woman in the little shop under the age of thirty five.

A quiet male, with a thoughtful face, soft eyes, and a polite smile which held a distant – yet somehow charming – quality.

Plus, he seemed to be a writer of some sort, as there were pages upon pages of paper surrounding him, with crossed out words and edits.

Hmm, she thought to herself as she felt a predatory smile come upon her face. Gorgeous, deep, and a decent taste in fashion. Exactly my kinda guy...

And right when she was about to saunter up to him and ask sweetly if she could get him a refill, the man drove a hand agitatedly through his hair – a devastatingly hot action that made every female in the room swoon – and a glint came from his ring finger.

One could almost physically feel the erupting disappointment.

So the waitress sighed, and turned back to work. Much as she liked her men, she had some decency, and left the taken ones alone.

And sitting alone on the table amidst piles of paper, Kira Yamato let out a quiet groan, and continued to right madness on his papers.

Let's see... he thought, biting his lip as he reread what he had so far. The most amazing person I've ever had the good fortune to meet... Greatest friend in times of need... Couldn't think of any other person who's good enough for my sister...

Pause.

This is the biggest piece of shit I've ever read.

Kira frowned, absently chewing the back of his pen.

It wasn't that he was bad at writing.

Far from it, in fact.

It was just that he wasn't good at any form of writing that wasn't mathematical or science based.

Like the speech he was supposed to be giving tomorrow afternoon for Athrun and Cagalli's wedding.

This was the kind of thing that Lacus was good at.

Kira stared in dismay at the pile of trash that was occupying his table. He felt bad for messing up such a quaint little coffee shop. But he couldn't concentrate at home – way too many distractions – and he tended to work better in a quiet place when he was under pressure.

Maybe I should just wing it, he thought.

Then sighed.

What an irresponsible answer.

It's my sister.

And my best friend.

Right when he was about to gather his resolve unenthusiastically, his cell phone started to ring softly.

Kira almost jumped in glee.

Yes! Alibi!

Instead, he just leaned back on his chair and cleared his throat, calmly flipping open the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey."

He smiled at the voice. "Oh, hey, Miriallia."

"You busy?"

Shaking his head, even though he knew she couldn't see it, he said, "No, no, I'm not busy at all. What's up?"

Miriallia seemed to be sniffling in the background. "My boyfriend just broke up with me."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I... see. Are you alright?"

"Of course not, you idiot! Would I be calling you if I was alright?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Kira quickly apologized, knowing it was not a good idea to tick off an already teary and temperamental woman.

Miriallia sniffled again.

"Um... Milly... are you sure you don't want to talk to Lacus or someone–"

"No, no, I want to talk to Kira."

"Ah, ok."

Kira uncomfortably twiddled his thumbs a bit.

"Idon't think I want to go to wedding tomorrow."

Her voice sounded so small, that Kira felt his heart soften a little bit before he quickly realized exactly what she was saying.

"You can't do that! You're the bridesmaid!"

"Ki-ra," a distinct whine came into her voice. "I just got my heart broken! You can be a little bit more sympathetic."

"Sorry," replied Kira, feeling all kinds of guilty. "But maybe you'll meet someone new there?"

"Maybe."

A note of hesitancy crept into her voice.

"There's... actually another reason I called you."

"What?" Kira quickly sat up. "Um, Miriallia, you aren't... uh... pregnant or anything, are you?"

"What? No!" She sounded less offended than she should have. "It's about my dress."

"What about it?"

And Kira wished he hadn't asked when he found out.

"Damn," was all he could say.

"Yeah."

Kira was thoughtfully quiet for a moment.

"So, uh, can you come over and... help me deal with my problem?"

"Why not," replied Kira with a sigh.

Then he eyed his papers warily.

"Just help finish my speech."

The reply was immediate.

"Done."

Friday, July 21, 11:15 pm
Athha Estate

"Mm," said Cagalli, as she leaned back against the wall, clutching Athrun's shirt, and pulling him closer against her. "I knew coming home early today was a good idea."

"No kidding," agreed Athrun, and covering Cagalli's lips before the conversation could continue further, carrying on the hottest make out session either of them had ever had. "But this isn't exactly early."

"You know you look real good in black," murmured Cagalli, eyes half lidded, completely ignoring previous statements.

"I was aiming for that," he replied, before easing both of them towards the bed – his hands still behind her head and her fingers still playing with the buttons on his shirt – and then collapsing on top of it. His mouth was on her collarbone and her hands slid to his back as clothing got loosened and ruffled.

"The door's locked, right?"

"Yeah."

Pause.

"It's alright if we're doing this, right?" asked Athrun, although he didn't stop the kisses he was trailing on her shoulder after he had eased her out of her blazer and unbuttoned the few top ones on her shirt. "Isn't it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding or something?"

"Mm," said Cagalli, a contented sound coming from the back of her throat. "I don't believe in that crap. All the luck I need is right here."

She patted his chest appreciatively.

Athrun smiled a little smugly. "Good enough for me."

"Knew you'd say that."

And right at the heat of the moment, Athrun's phone started to ring.

They both paused for a moment.

"Leave it," said Cagalli, rolling and therefore flipping them over so she was now on top. She kissed him thoroughly before moving to do the same to the rest of him. "Can't be that important."

"It could be an emergency," said Athrun reluctantly, looking as though it was taking everything he had – and then some – to say it.

The phone gave another ring.

"If it was, then they'd call Kira or something," she said, her voice muffled by his chest. Athrun bit his lip to stop himself from moaning.

"What if it's Kira?"

"It's not."

She licked the back of his ear, and for a moment, Athrun's brain shut down.

Then the phone rang again.

Groaning – and vowing to give the person calling him a good beating when they met face to face – Athrun pushed himself up and reached for his phone.

Cagalli shook her head disappointedly, and sat up, starting to button up her shirt.

Athrun gave her an apologetic look. "Hello?"

"Um, hi, Athrun? This is Shinn."

"Shinn?" he repeated, eyes furrowing a bit. "Hey. What's up? Are Lunamaria and Meyrin with you?"

Athrun completely missed the change of light in Cagalli's eyes at hearing Shinn's name, the unconcerned shrug, and how she started to take off her shirt again.

"They're not here yet. They're arriving at a flight tomorrow."

"Oh, I see- Ack!"

Cagalli was suddenly on top of him – and now only clad in her bra – and attacking his neck with some kind of otherworldly energy.

"Uh, Athrun? Are you alright?"

"I, um, yeah."

Athrun gave Cagalli a look that clearly said, I really don't mind that you're doing this, but why are you doing this?

Cagalli grinned and whispered in his ear, "I never really liked that guy much to begin with..." before continuing with whatever it was that she was doing.

Athrun swallowed, before clearing his throat.

"So, what's going on?"

"Well, see, this is kinda embarrassing..."

"Oh?" Athrun managed to choke out.

Feeling Cagalli all over him was just the slightest bit distracting.

"Yeah, you see, the hotel I was staying at–"

Athrun had to physically put a hand over his mouth to stop any unwanted sounds from coming out.

"Athrun?"

"Uh, Shinn," he said, feeling rather hot. "I'm sorry to do this to you but I – oh God, Cagalli – I have to go."

"Wait, Athrun–"

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Athrun, before quickly snapping his phone shut and throwing it to the ground, happy somewhere in the back of his mind that the floor was carpeted.

"Glad to see you're back," smiled Cagalli, eyes shining and face pink.

It was the sexiest thing Athrun ever saw.

"Glad to be back," he replied, before pulling Cagalli down towards him.

"Now, where were we?"

"Right here," he said, kissing her fully on the mouth. "But let's not stay just there anymore..."

A/N: So what was it? Good? Bad? So-So?

So this is my first ever Gundam SEED chaptered story. It's quite fun to write, since I don't really have to focus on character development – and I don't care what anyone says, but that's the hardest thing to focus on concerning serious stories – and can just have my way with the plot. And yes, there is a plot.

Pairings will be all canon – as you can already see from here – and if you don't enjoy them, I'm sorry, but I hope you keep reading this story for the sake of the... rather obscure plot. Plus, my attempt at humor may actually make you laugh.

Also, look forward to some intense swearing – I kept it at a bare minimum in this chapter as to warn you in this note here – and more almost-but-not-quite sex scenes. There's only a limit to how far I can write after all, and explicit stuff makes me slightly uncomfortable.

Anyway, please review. I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter!