Hello everybody! Well, after much time away and off in a very distant land, I am back and with a fresh new story that I've been working on for a full year!
This is a giant parody series based in a reality TV format that focuses on several anime characters from series that are underrated or popular series that have ended.
These characters all live together in a giant house and go through various trials and tribulations each day, though let's just say...these trials aren't exactly normal.
Hope you guys enjoy.
WARNING: Violence, adult language, adult themes and mature content.
Introduction
NARRATOR: Let's ask the question. Just because a character was in a series that got cancelled, does that automatically make them a has-been? If you don't know the answer to that, that's fine because a lot of people don't. Some people just move on with their lives, others transition, and others just fall down the slippery slope. But in anime series, what happens to all those loveable characters you once looked at when you watched a series? Well that's about to be revealed. I'm your unseen narrator and this is Animes Unite! Here on this show we gather the list of your favorite anime characters from all your favorite series gathered together for this one show. And we got them all here from Bleach, Code Geass, Haruhi Suzumiya, Gurren Lagann, Chobits, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fullmetal Alchemist, Blue Exorcist and Eureka Seven. On this show, all these characters will be living together and going through day to day problems and tasks as they attempt to try and find a way to move on from their pasts. Now just a little warning to a lot of the fans of these character's original shows. They may end up being widely different from how they were in their respective series, but please bear with us. Now then, let's introduce them all.
Bleach
NARRATOR: Here today we have Rukia Kuchiki, Orihime Inoue, and Ichigo Kurosaki from the popular series Bleach. The anime series of Bleach ended in 2012 and the manga series it was based on ended very recently in late 2016. But today, these three characters decided to take part in this show after four years of living off the manga series following the anime series ending. Hello you three.
ICHIGO: Hello everybody.
RUKIA: Hi.
ORIHIME: What's up?
(They are all very different. Ichigo looks much more approachable and has a friendly tone. Rukia seems very shy looking and has a much gentler tone of voice. Orihime's voice is a lot deeper and she also has no noticeable breasts in her chest area)
NARRATOR: Well anyway, so how have times been for all of you since Bleach ended?
ICHIGO: I can't lie that it has been difficult considering that was our show, but it's better to not look back so much on the past. Bleach was a great show to work on, and I hold a lot of fond memories, but we have to face facts that it's ended and there's nothing we can do about it.
RUKIA: Yeah, it was very sad. I miss a lot of those times we had, and all the friends we made.
ORIHIME: (bored) Eh, whatever. It was fun while it lasted, but what's done is done. Not everything goes on forever.
NARRATOR: You know, I find it really astounding how different you all are from how the series portrayed you. Ichigo you seem like you're a super nice guy.
ICHIGO: I am. But the show has caused people to have a lot of preconceptions. I always looked super pissed off on the show and because of that a lot of people are scared to approach me on the streets. It may seem like a bummer, but I actually like it as it keeps thugs off my back.
NARRATOR: Hmm, very interesting. Also Rukia, you seem a little bit quiet there. Are you feeling alright?
RUKIA: (nervously) No, I'm not really too fond of cameras. They make me feel like I'm being watched.
ORIHIME: Yeah, we should've mentioned earlier, but she's super camera shy. We had to keep them hidden when we did scenes with her on Bleach.
NARRATOR: Oh, we're sorry. Well, if you want us to Rukia, we'll keep the cameras hidden so you'll feel more comfortable.
RUKIA: (smiles) Thank you, that would be nice.
NARRATOR: And now Orihime. I have to say you're radically different than how I remember you on Bleach.
ORIHIME: Oh yeah, I am way far off from how they made me out to be.
NARRATOR: I could tell from the second I heard your voice. I didn't know your voice was naturally low.
ORIHIME: Yep. I had to pitch it up super high when we did Bleach, and believe me it was very hard to maintain. I had to practice every single time before I went to filming. And for what? So they could make me sound like the…(cutesy voice) bubbly, ditsy, girl next door with the big boobies…(normal voice) bull…fucking…shit!
ICHIGO: Woah language!
NARRATOR: I take it you're not too fond of the show Orihime.
ORIHIME: No, I like the show, but I don't like how they made me. I kept getting told over and over again, "you're going to get stronger, you're going to become a badass, you're going to get even better." But no! They went and made me into possibly one of the most annoying anime characters ever! They had me say things that made me look like a fucking moron and when they weren't doing that, they used me as fanservice! Every time I'd walk down the streets, there'd always be comments about my appearance or how stupid I am! Jesus, give me a break here!
NARRATOR: Very sorry to hear that Orihime.
(Camera zooms in closer on Orihime's face as she delivers a speech.)
ORIHIME: (determined) I've learned a lot of things from that, and I've also learned of what it means to be treated horribly. Since then, I've turned towards the path of feminism and it's helped me out a lot! I've decided to stand up for the rights of hardworking and respectable woman who've been mistreated or judged solely because of their appearances!
NARRATOR: Wow, that's very powerful Orihime.
ORIHIME: Also, I don't know if you noticed, (points to her chest) but my breasts are gone forever. I've had to suffer so much ridicule, hate, and worst of all, back problems because of these stupid things, so I saved up $5,000 and rid myself of them for good!
NARRATOR: Uhh, that's kind of a risky step though, isn't it Orihime?
ORIHIME: Maybe it is. But breasts are what I consider to be the worst part of any woman's body and I say they be removed before they cause problems. (stands up) There's also a motto I follow from now, and I recommend every flat-chested woman follows it as well. I say to all of you (raises her arm to the sky), flat chested pride!
(A multi colored banner that says Flat Chested Pride plasters on the screen)
WOMEN: Flat Chested Pride!
(Cuts to reveal Rukia has her arm in the air as well.)
ORIHIME: See, I got some supporters already.
RUKIA: I like this cause a lot!
ICHIGO: (groans) See what I have to deal with here?
NARRATOR: Don't worry Ichigo, it's all part of the job. But yeah, glad to have all three of you on the show and we can't wait to see you.
ICHIGO: Yeah sounds great.
RUKIA: Can't wait to meet everybody.
ORIHIME: Remember everybody, flat chested pride.
(Flat Chested Pride Banner appears)
NARRATOR: She's going to be a handful, isn't she?
Blue Exorcist
NARRATOR: Today we have twin brothers, exorcists, and Satan's offspring Rin and Yukio Okumura. Blue Exorcist is a popular manga and anime series that ran for twenty-six episodes and spawned a movie. There has been recent talk of a second anime adaptation, but we have yet to see it happen, so until then Rin and Yukio decided to join in with the show. So how are you guys today?
YUKIO: Oh, we're doing great.
(Rin has his head down on the table sleeping)
YUKIO: (tries shaking Rin a couple of times) Rin, Rin come on wake up, (smacks the table) RIN!
RIN: (suddenly snaps awake) SUKIYAKI! Oh, we're on. Sorry about that.
NARRATOR: It's alright Rin. But besides that, how do you guys feel with what has happened with your series.
RIN: It honestly felt way too quick. We just had it going and then it stopped.
YUKIO: Still they keep speaking about this new series coming out soon, so we won't rule out anything about that. Still we decided to participate in the hopes of getting some kind of action going.
NARRATOR: So, to ask about personal hobbies, what's been going on with Satan lately?
(Rin and Yukio look at each other and then back to the camera.)
RIN and YUKIO: We don't know.
NARRATOR: Well isn't he trying to hunt you both down?
RIN: No, he's way more pathetic than you think he is.
YUKIO: He stays in Gehenna, eating donuts and drinking beer all day. You could call him "Beezlebum".
RIN: Nice pun.
YUKIO: Thank you.
NARRATOR: So, do you guys still hunt demons?
RIN: Well we would, except there aren't a lot of them around anymore. Sometimes they just pop up at random. (Rin suddenly bursts into blue flames for no reason) Oh shit.
YUKIO: So do the blue flames.
RIN: (extinguishes the flames) Yeah sorry about that.
NARRATOR: Well what else do you guys do in your spare time?
YUKIO: Well I usually tend to do a lot of studying, being a book worm at all. And you know Rin still is a great cook so he always likes to...
(It's revealed that Rin is now smoking a joint.)
RIN: (high) Smoke weed everyday (takes a puff). Ahhhhhh…
YUKIO: (annoyed) Rin are you stupid? We're on TV you can't do that right now!
RIN: (high) Why not I'm gonna do it on the show anyway?
YUKIO: (more annoyed) That doesn't matter, we need to look respectable when we're on TV.
RIN: (laughs) Reality TV and respectable? Those things don't really go hand in hand, do they bro?
YUKIO: Just give me the goddamn joint! Give it to me! (tries to snatch it from him). COME ON GIVE IT!
RIN: HEY LET GO DAMMIT!
(Rin bursts in blue flames again as the two of them engage in a fight)
YUKIO: GIVE IT UP DEMON BOY!
RIN: DEMON BOY?! WHY YOU FOUR EYED MOLE FACE!
NARRATOR: Okay while these two fight it out, let's move on to the next candidates.
Gurren Lagann
NARRATOR: Next up are main protagonist Simon, and the sexy sniper Yoko Littner from the anime series Gurren Lagann. A series that is still getting high praise as one of the best gundam shows of all time. It's become such a big success that it spawned two anime films Childhood's End and The Lights in the Sky are Stars as well as a manga series. So how are you guys today?
SIMON: Pretty good
YOKO: Alright
NARRATOR: So how do you guys feel now that your show has ended?
SIMON: I'm honestly not that bothered that it ended, because we all knew it was going to.
YOKO: Exactly people were expecting a second season but what they don't know is that Gurren Lagann had a planned ending. Everything in that series was supposed to end at it was, and sorry but there isn't a second season. And not to mention, did people really think the ending was that bad?
SIMON: I know right, was it really worth all the hate?
NARRATOR: I didn't think so, I liked it after all.
RANDOM GUY: I didn't
YOKO: (angrily) WHO SAID THAT?!
NARRATOR: One of the rude background guys. Do not talk badly about the ending you idiot!
RANDOM GUY: I think it was bullshit.
NARRATOR: Your life is bullshit asshole! Sorry about that guys. Anyway, do you all still keep in contact with the former members of the cast.
SIMON: Yeah, we still talk a lot.
NARRATOR: And I may regret asking this, but is Kamina…uhh…
(At the mention, Yoko starts crying. Simon hugs and comforts her)
SIMON: I wouldn't bring him up that much. She still isn't completely over it yet.
NARRATOR: Crap, I'm sorry! Cut the show for a second.
YOKO: (crying) He said he was gonna pay me back ten times over, but he never did. Fucking stupid bastard.
(Cuts. Comes back to show Yoko still sniffling and having running mascara on her face.)
NARRATOR: Are you feeling better Yoko?
YOKO: (sniffles) I'll be okay.
SIMON: I didn't know you wore mascara.
YOKO: There's a lot of things you don't know about me.
NARRATOR: Well, anyway we're happy to have you guys joining us on the show. Thanks for being with us today.
SIMON: You're welcome.
YOKO: (sniffles) Yeah, no problem.
NARRATOR: I really need to watch my mouth sometimes.
Chobits
NARRATOR: Chobits has been listed as one of the most underrated animes and is notable for being a CLAMP show. CLAMP is an anime and manga studio run by all woman who are well known for creating other great and well known series such as xxxHolic and Tsubasa: Resevoir Chronicle. Today with us we have our guest, the adorable persocom Chi.
CHI: (waves politely to the camera) Hello everyone.
NARRATOR: So Chi, I have to ask how did you feel when Chobits ended?
CHI: It was kind of sad, I really love Chobits and it was a lot of fun to work on
NARRATOR: That's sad, but are there some aspects to your fame in Chobits that do get on your nerves sometimes? Like is there something that many fans will often ask you to do if they see you, or is there a common trope in the series that you really cannot stand?
CHI: Ummm, not really, I think the only time is when people stop me in the streets and ask me to do the line.
NARRATOR: You mean the ...?
CHI: (innocently) chiiii
NARRATOR: Oh that line. Alright then. So Chi, do you have any hobbies at all?
CHI: Well I really like computers, considering I am one. If there's anything I'd really like to do, it'd to be a computer programmer on the side.
NARRATOR: Actually, because you said you are one, do you mind if I test that out?
CHI: Sure.
NARRATOR: What is the definition of irony?
CHI: One moment please.
(Chi logs on to the internet. Her eyes show tons of numbers.)
CHI: (computer mode) Irony: the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.
NARRATOR: Holy shit that's amazing. Okay two more question before we move on Chi.
CHI: Yes?
NARRATOR: Whatever happened to your former love interest Hideki Motosuwa? We hoped that we could contact him to be a part of this show but we couldn't find any information on his whereabouts. Do you know anything about where he is?
CHI: (uncomfortable) Oh he's ummmm...
(suddenly cuts to the outside of an abandoned building where several cop cars are gathered around. Sirens are blaring)
COP 1: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP MOTOSUWA! WE GOT YOU ON DRUG POSSESSION CHARGES, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
(Hideki appears in the window, he's dressed like a vagabond with shaggy clothes, beard, and all)
HIDEKI: FORGET IT POLICE, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
COP 2: STORM THE BUILDING
(cuts back to Chi)
CHI: Somewhere around. (smiles)
NARRATOR: And what about those two other persocoms in the show, Sumomo and Kotoko? Where did they go?
CHI: Umm…I never really knew what happened to them. Last thing I remember they were apparently doing a cameo for some other series in the CLAMP family. Something…Chronicle if I'm right. I have to look up some more the CLAMP stuff again.
NARRATOR: Hmm, I may have to look into that. Well anyway, thanks for talking with us and it's great to have you here Chi.
CHI: Sure, and thank you as well.
NARRATOR: She is so adorable.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
NARRATOR: Haruhi Suzumiya is a well-known manga and anime series that has spanwed many spinoff manga and series as well as a feature film The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya which has become the second-longest animated film ever made. Today with us we have the eccentric, hilarious, thrill seeking Haruhi Suzumiya herself. How are you today Haruhi?
HARUHI: (excited) Oh my gosh, this is so exciting, HELLO EVERYBODY!
NARRATOR: So Haruhi, how do you feel now that your series has ended.
HARUHI: Am I supposed to feel bad? No way. ALWAYS BE HAPPY!
NARRATOR: Okay that's a lot of enthusiasm. Do you wish to have any plans while your here on the show?
HARUHI: START UP A NEW SOS BRIGADE! To anyone watching right now, if you're a time traveler, esper, shapeshifter, space alien, or anything weird or occult. We invite you all to join us.
NARRATOR: Hmm, that's a pretty good idea. But Haruhi, what happened to all the other former members of the SOS Brigade? You know Kyon, Yuki, Mikuru, and Itsuki, have you seen them at all lately.
HARHUI (wondering): Mmmmm, I haven't seen a lot of Kyon lately, but I think he's somewhere around.
(Cuts to Kyon runs into the same building that Hideki is hiding in)
KYON (panicked): Hey do you mind if I hide out here, the cops are after me for robbing a 7-Eleven.
HIDEKI: Sure no problem.
(The two sit down for a minute)
KYON: Do you think we sound alike?
HIDEKI: Eh, I don't really hear it.
KYON: Eh, probably just my imagination.
(Cuts back to Haruhi)
HARUHI: I occasionally run into Mikuru and Yuki sometimes, but they're busy with their own things.
(Yuki and Mikuru are sitting at a bus stop. Both looking bored)
YUKI: (bored) Wanna get high?
MIKURU: (bored) Yes.
HARUHI: And as for Itsuki, I've heard he's been in the news lately. Doing some kind of modeling, I think.
(cuts to Itsuki getting photographs taken and on the cover of pornographic magazines)
NARRATOR: That's all fine and dandy I guess, thanks for talking with us Haruhi.
HARUHI: You're welcome, peace out
(Haruhi waves to the camera before getting up and walking away)
NARRATOR: Well she seems nice for the most part.
HARUHI: (offscreen) Hey, your ears look big, are you a space alien!?
BACKGROUND: What!? No! Shut up you little brat!
NARRATOR: She's gonna need to be watched over.
Fullmetal Alchemist
NARRATOR: Fullmetal Alchemist is a popular manga that has been adapted into two anime series, the original Fullmetal Alchemist and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood which was much closer to the original manga. Here with us today we have the main character of the series. Edward Elric.
EDWARD: (casually) Hey what's up.
NARRATOR: So Ed, how do you feel with your show being cancelled.
EDWARD: What's there to be upset about? I don't feel bad.
NARRATOR: Really, no regrets.
EDWARD: No, why should I? It ended where it was supposed to didn't it?
NARRATOR: Yeah, I guess it did.
EDWARD: The only thing I was a little peeved about was that we thought Conqueror of Shamballa was going to lead into a second season of the original Fullmetal Alchemist anime, but it never did. But I think Brotherhood made up for that and got it more on par with the manga, so that's worth it.
NARRATOR: I guess it did.
EDWARD: I've moved on from all that. And since I have nothing better to do, I heard this show was looking for people from finished anime series, so I figured I'd come here and do this.
NARRATOR: Well that's nice. So, what happened to Winry your love interest and your brother Alphonse?
EDWARD: Well for one Winry and I weren't really love interests. I mean she's a good friend and all but that's it. She went on to become a professional mechanic for Nissan, she's made the coolest automobiles I've ever seen. She was involved in the creation of the Rogue and the Pathfinder.
NARRATOR: And your brother, Alphonse?
EDWARD: You ever seen those really sad Sarah MacLachlan cat commercials?
NARRATOR: Uh-huh.
EDWARD: Well Al's working in those commercials now. He's gotten more than a million views on TV. Wanna see? (holds up a laptop)
(The laptop plays a YouTube video. The video shows Alphonse with a cat in his lap. Sad music is playing.)
ALPHONSE: Hi, I'm Alphonse Elric. Despite the fact I don't have a body anymore, I still have a soul. A soul that cares for the lives of these poor little kittens. Will you have a care and try to save the lives of these poor unfortunate little angels. For just a couple dollars you can give them a home with food, water, and love. Be a good person and donate today.
(Commercial ends. All the crew are heard crying and sobbing in the background at the sad commercial.)
NARRATOR: Wow, I never knew those commercials could have such an impact. Especially on these idiots (groans at the crew crying). Well moving on from that, do you have any plans Edward? Are there any things you really want to do on this show.
EDWARD: I guess just try and live day by day. And seeing all the other awesome characters I get to live with, I'm definitely looking forward to it.
NARRATOR: Sounds good.
BACKGROUND GUY: (quietly) Shorty.
NARRATOR: Fred, don't insult the guests! I'm sorry Ed.
EDWARD: It's no big deal. That was all just a joke in the series. I'll be going now.
(Edward walks away from the set.)
EDWARD: (offscreen) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
(smashing sound effects are heard)
EDWARD: (enraged) WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THAT JOKE, IT'S SO FUCKING OLD!
NARRATOR: Hey Ed, it's no big deal.
Edward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
NARRATOR: I think we better move on.
Code Geass
NARRATOR: Code Geass is another popular anime series that debuted around 2007. Since then, it has spawned several manga series and a lot of merchandise. So let's get to our next guest here on the show. The exiled prince and leader of the Black Nights, the one and only...LELOUCH VI BRITANNIA!
(fake applause is heard)
LELOUCH: (sexily) Greetings everyone. I, Lelouch vi Britannia, command you all, to dance...
(Camera cuts to all the background crew dancing)
NARRATOR: Very smooth Lelouch, I gotta say.
LELOUCH: (sexily) Why thank you, weird narrator guy.
NARRATOR: So how have you felt since your series ended? It was a really shocking end, especially in your case considering you well...died.
LELOUCH: (smirking) You just spoiled it for everyone didn't you.
NARRATOR: Oopsie daisy
LELOUCH: To be honest, I'm honestly fine with the series ending. We got out all we needed right? I overthrow Britannia, become the ruler of the entire world, and then get killed by my best friend, which was planned from the start just to point out.
NARRATOR: Did you enjoy doing the series?
LELOUCH: Definitely, best experience of my life.
NARRATOR: So what do you want to do now that you're here on the show with us.
LELOUCH: Well I guess I'll hang out with everyone, relax, control their minds with my Geass powers. And ultimately, TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
NARRATOR: Sounds like a good time, thanks for joining us Lelouch. Oh by the way there's a fly on your hand.
LELOUCH: Hmm?
(Lelouch looks down at his hand. His face suddenly gets fearful)
LELOUCH: (terrified) AAAAHHHH! NO, NO, NO, GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!
(Lelouch jumps up from his chair trying to swat it while jumping around in panic. He suddenly realizes he broke his sly and cool demeanor and immediately returns to it.)
LELOUCH: Thank you very much narrator guy.
CREW MEMBER: There's another one flying by your head.
LELOUCH: (eyes go wide) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! GROSS! EWWWW! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! GET IT AWAY!
(Lelouch gets up from his seat and runs away from the seat screaming)
NARRATOR: Huh, well I guess looks are very deceiving. Let's move on.
Eureka Seven
NARRATOR: Eureka Seven is considered to be one of the most underrated animes of all time. It aired between 2005 -2006 and spawned a manga series, a film Pocketful of Rainbows which took place in an alternate dimension which received mixed reviews, and a spinoff show Eureka Seven AO which unfortunately received scathing reviews from critics and fans of the original show. Despite this, the series still has a loyal fanbase and today we have the two main characters here, both mech pilots, the human Renton Thurston and the Humanoid Coralian Eureka...what's her last name?
CREW MEMBER: (heard from the back) It's never been told in the series, but it was said to be Zita in the movie Pocketful of Rainbows. Let's just keep it open ended.
NARRATOR: Okay fair enough.
(Eureka and Renton wave at the camera.)
RENTON: Hey everyone.
EUREKA: Hi everybody.
NARRATOR: So Renton, Eureka, how are you guys today?
RENTON: We're doing well thank you.
EUREKA: Yes, very well.
NARRATOR: So let's get to the big question. Have times been hard since your show ended?
RENTON: Oh yeah, it's definitely been hard. We love that show so much.
EUREKA: Yes, it was a very sad experience. Going through fifty episodes of that show, becoming friends with our fellow characters, and just having a great time being there. It's definitely sad when you finish it all.
NARRATOR: Do you guys still talk to a lot of the old cast?
RENTON: Well most of the Gekko of course. Holland is my home-boy, always has been.
NARRATOR: Didn't he beat the crap out of you for like twelve episodes.
RENTON: That was all in the show, we actually had fun doing those scenes.
EUREKA: (laughing) Yeah, I remember during that one fight, I think in episode 18, he hit you way too hard and right after the director called cut, Holland was freaking out apologizing to you.
RENTON: (laughing) Yeah. And then the next day he bought me a box of blueberry donuts to make it up to me.
EUREKA: (laughing) That was so cute. But yeah, I also keep in touch with Talho over the phone and I still see her from time to time. I had lunch with her last week as a matter of fact.
NARRATOR: Now let me ask the other big question because so many people have wanted to know this. What is your opinion on the movie Pocketful of Rainbows and Eureka Seven: AO? People have given both negative feedback and we figure we have to hear from the characters perspectives.
RENTON: Okay the movie Pocketful of Rainbows, or Good Night, Sleep Tight, Young Lovers if you like that title better, I don't think was that bad. We had fun making it, and I liked some of the alternate concepts they got to make with it.
EUREKA: Do you know why they had that title too?
RENTON: No, I don't even knew why our episodes were named after songs.
EUREKA: Well, as for AO, we had no involvement in it and we haven't seen it yet. But I don't think it'll be as bad as everybody keeps saying.
RENTON: Yeah, I'm definitely very open minded and if I do get the chance to watch it, I'll give it a constructive review because I don't want to go bashing it when there could be some good points.
NARRATOR: That's very nice Renton. So, what do you guys wish to do on this series. Any plans?
RENTON: I guess just take everything as it goes.
EUREKA: Yeah, and I'm especially excited to meet all the new people in this place.
NARRATOR: Okay, final question before we move on. You were a couple with a greatly established romance. In fact, you two have been listed as one of the best couples in any anime. Is it true that you are both a couple?
RENTON: No, we're not at couple.
EUREKA: No, not at all. We're just best friends.
BACKGROUND GUY: Liar.
NARRATOR: Tom, stop interrupting the show!
EUREKA: (irritated) Hey, I'm not lying! We're not a couple okay!
BACKGROUND GUY: So why did you spend fifty episodes of a series establishing a romance?
RENTON: (irritated) It's a fictional series! Everything was scripted!
BACKGROUND GUY: Okay sure, I'm not supposed to believe that, but I can believe that there exists a weird blue haired alien chick that was born from some slime stuff and can talk to machines.
(Eureka is noticeably angry at this point. She turns to the camera.)
EUREKA: (fake smile) Is it fine if I talk to that man for a moment?
NARRATOR: Be our guest.
EUREKA: Thank you.
(Eureka walks off the set for a second and goes backstage. Renton just sits there nonchalantly. What is heard next is all offscreen.)
BACKGROUND GUY: Oh I'm so worried, I'm getting a pep talk from the...Wait what are you doing with that pole...Oh no, you're not...
EUREKA: (enraged) COME HERE YOU FUCKING LITTLE DICK CHEESE!
BACKGROUND GUY: OH SHIT!
(sounds of the background guy being beaten are heard as well as screaming from the background)
BACKGROUND GUY: NO STOP PLEASE! I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I WAS KIDDING! MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!
EUREKA: (screaming in rage) YEAH DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD NOW DOES IT ASSHOLE! HOW DOES THIS FEEL?! YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY MAKING FUN OF MY RACE!? HUH, DO YOU!?
BACKGROUND GUY: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!
EUREKA: DON'T CRY, DON'T CRY, I WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND!
RENTON: Yeah, I should've probably mentioned, Eureka's not one to take being insulted lightly. Especially not about her heritage.
NARRATOR: Well, what that guy said was very rude, so I can excuse it.
RENTON: (whispers) Also, I should mention the biggest point, don't mispronounce her name. She's very sensitive about that.
NARRATOR: Oh boy. I'll remember.
BACKGROUND: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
EUREKA: NOW CLEAN UP YOUR OWN BLOOD BITCH!
BACKGROUND GUY: (whimpering) Okay
(Eureka walks back onto the set and sits back down)
EUREKA: (panting) Sorry about that, I get a little heated sometimes.
NARRATOR: Yeah, we can tell. Let's move on. (In his thoughts) Oh I pity the guy that tries to pressure her into prom sex.
Neon Genesis Evangelion
NARRATOR: Neon Genesis Evangelion is considered to be one of the best anime series of all time. Since its debut in 1996, it's gained rave reviews from both critics and anime fans alike and spawned a gigantic franchise with several manga series, and a series of films with a new film series called Rebuild of Evangelion being released right now. The series has also garnered criticism from certain fans on aspects in the story telling considered confusing. I can't lie, I don't get some of it either, but I like the show. So today, we've got the star of the show joining us. Please welcome Shinji Ikari.
(Nobody is at the desk on the set.)
NARRATOR: Umm, Shinji? Shinji? Where are you Shinji? Hey can one of you guys go get Shinji? I think he's still in the dressing room.
BACKGROUND GUY: Hold on, I'll go grab him.
(Background noises are heard getting louder and louder. Shinji is dragged into the room by the background guy screaming and flailing his arms.)
SHINJI: I WON'T DO IT! I WON'T BECAME A MEDIA WHORE FOR REALITY TV, I'M NOT THAT DESPERATE!
BACKGROUND GUY: Come on, you're gonna do this whether you like it or not.
SHINJI: DON'T MAKE ME! DON'T MAKE ME INTO A WHORE!
(Camera cuts to Shinji sitting there at the seat with a forced smile on his face)
NARRATOR: Welcome to the show Shinji, it's very nice to have you here.
SHINJI: (struggling to say) Really happy to be here. (In his head) I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away.
NARRATOR: So Shinji, we know that Evangelion is still growing strong right now, but I have to ask, have things been difficult since your original series has ended.
SHINJI: (regains composure) At times it can be, but overall it still has a fanbase and it's still held in high regard so I can't complain. (In his head) Which is also why I can't believe I have to do this fucking shit!
NARRATOR: So what has happened to all the other people from the series? You know Misato, Rei, Asuka, your friends Toji and Kensuke, and your father Gendo. Where are they?
SHINJI: Pfft, hell if I know. They probably all died in The End of Evangelion. You know, that film where I was launched into utter insanity, and nobody knew what the fuck was going on?
NARRATOR: But how is that possible? I mean, wasn't the whole show supposed to be fictional?
SHINJI: Well..yeah but you see. We took some different ways to try and make it more believable to the audience, but let's just say that it didn't go completely as planned, and well I'm the only one still standing.
NARRATOR: Umm, I don't really understand. I mean if they all died, then how are they reprising their roles in the Rebuild of Evangelion series?
SHINJI: Lookalikes
NARRATOR: Okay I can deal with that. Well either way, I still admire your show a ton. I've always come to see Evangelion as one of those mecha series that tries to break the rules of being the traditional mecha show, especially with a main protagonist that isn't completely a hero, and show how he would really react if thrown into a situation. I've heard a lot of people don't like what you did in those scenes, but it was
SHINJI: (in his head) Kind of like how I'm reacting now being thrown into this motherfucking scam!
NARRATOR: I have to say though, I don't really understand a lot of the religious symbolism, and especially the endings. I mean, at least with End of Evangelion, when you and Asuka ended up in that oblivion following the Third Impact, I can at least see that as a solid conclusion. With the original series though, I really don't get it. You just ended up on a giant blue ball with all your friends after you finally came to understand that you don't need to be depressed or angry. I mean, what kind of ending is that?
SHINJI: Let's just say that our budget was really tight at the time. We really didn't know that the show was going to get as good as it did, so we had to go with that ending. (in his head) And saying that I don't need to be angry anymore is totally inaccurate!
NARRATOR: Understandable. Anyway Shinji, do you have any plans now that you're here with us today.
SHINJI: (In his head) You mean besides keeping my sanity while trying to deal with the fact that I'm a media whore now? (Out loud) Not really anything, just try to do my best I guess. Meet everyone here and just try to live a little. I saw I got some other gundam people here with those guys from Gurren Lagann and Eureka Seven, guess they'd be a fun pair to hang out with.
NARRATOR: Sounds good to me. Thanks for being here with us Shinji.
SHINJI: No problem
(Shinji gets up from his seat.)
SHINJI: (mutters under his breath) Oh my God, I feel so fucking dirty. I know I needed money, but why'd it have to be reality TV!? Why!?
NARRATOR: I think we may need to keep an eye on him. Make sure that he doesn't hurt himself.
That's all the members who will be joining us in the house for this show. Let's see how they make out as they try to live together. This is Animes Unite and I'm your unseen narrator.
This is gonna be a crazy time.
I know I haven't been active on the site for a long time and that's because I've had many commitments. I'm in college currently studying TV/Film and it is a full time job. I've learned a ton more about film and am considering a potential career in it. I've also found an interest in voice acting and have been working to better myself at that with acting classes and frequent vocal and singing practice. I'm sorry that I haven't been posting a lot lately but I assure you all that I am not dead, and nor have I given up on writing. In fact, I've actually been doing it a lot more now, both with fanfictions and with original works.
So how did this entire story come about? That's very interesting to ask.
As a lot of you may know, I am an anime fan. I grew up watching shows like Robotech, Pokemon, Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Sailor Moon and the Studio Ghibli films but I became an official anime fan during my sophomore year of high school. Around the mid part of my senior year, after watching tons of series, the idea suddenly popped into my head for a crossover story. Many crossovers have been done before no doubt, but something came to my mind of a potential crossover that got together various series, each of different style and origin and had them living together. I also thought of having it be a more adult comedy series inspired by the likes of shows like Venture Bros, South Park, and Futurama. And so this series was born.
This was a beast to write I will not deny. I spent hours at my computer screen trying to come up with the right idea and at times writers block got me. Other times I would return to watch each show to gain a better idea or a good joke and would confide in friends to find out some good plotlines and ideas, which to those guys, thank you very much. When I finally finished it, I thought to myself "how crazy was I to write this, I must be totally insane." I could've scrapped this entire thing, but I kept going and now here I am.
I decided to finally post it after recently finishing the entire draft at the advice of my TV/Film Practicum Advisor who has given me great advice as a writer. I also have tons of future plans for this, so keep an eye out and I'll explain as we go along.
Also I should note that I am aware Blue Exorcist Kyoto Saga was just released as well as Eureka Seven Hi-Evolution this September, though I started writing this before the announcements were made, so there isn't any message of them in these stories, though I may make some later on ;)
It has been a hard road to keep writing until I get to my finished goal and I'm glad that I was able to pull it off with this particular story. I want to say thank you to all the people who have given me tons of support including my good friends here at school, and the many readers and followers here on Fanfiction. You guys are great. If anyone has any kind of suggestions on what I could do to make the story better or any kind of constructive criticism, go ahead and say it as I'm looking for anything I could do to make the story better.
I own none of the above characters in the aforementioned series. Each belongs to their respective owners:
Bleach is owned by Viz Media, Tite Kubo and Toei Animation
Blue Exorcist is owned by Aniplex of America, A-1 Pictures, Kazue Kato and Tensai Okamura
Tenga Toppa Gurren Lagann is owned by Aniplex of America, Gainax, Kazuki Nakashima, and Hiroyuki Imaishi
Fullmetal Alchemist is owned by Aniplex of America, Funimation Entertainment, Studio Bones and Hiromu Arakawa
Code Geass is owned by Funimation Entertainment, Sunrise, Ichirō Ōkouchi, Gorō Taniguchi, and CLAMP
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is owned by Funimation Entertainment, Kyoto Animation, and Nagaru Tanigawa
Chobits is owned by Funimation Entertainment, Madhouse Studios and CLAMP.
Eureka Seven is owned by Funimation Entertainment, Studio Bones, and Dai Sato.
Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by AEsir Holdings, Gainax and Hideaki Anno