Hello my lovelies, it's been awhile, no? So I've decided that I want to write a Sharmen fic, this is like my first L Word fic and I figured I would do it on my favorite pairing :3 so here you go, I obviously don't own the L Word, enjoy.
Shane paced her room, occasionally bringing her hand up to her face to rub it as her mind tried to process the right thing to do. "Damn it! What the hell am I supposed to do?" She growled, kicking the wall, regretting it instantly "Mother fucker" She huffed and sat on the bed.
She looked at her foot for a moment before shaking her head and laying back on the bed with a thud. Carmen was back and it was messing with Shane's head, she just didn't know how to deal with it. Bette had told her to grow a pair and just march up to her and make things right. Tina said to just leave her be and see what happened. Alice was still pretty messed up from Dana's death and when Shane brought it up, she just gave her a look that made the taller woman feel small. In the end though, it was Kit that pushed her forward.
"Honey, you need to go talk to that girl, make things right" The older woman said the morning before as she poured Shane a cup of coffee. "Just go over there and tell her you need to talk, explain things, get on your knees and beg, do something, anything is better than you moping around all day" She said matter of factly.
Shane sighed softly as she took the cup, gazing into the dark contents with a grumpy look on her face "I know I just don't know what to say to her, I don't even know if I can face her, I've fucked things up so bad" She huffed before taking a gulp of the hot liquid, letting the burn soothe her.
Kit shook her head, leaning against the counter "Shane, don't think about it, I think that once you get there, the words will come to you, what you guys had..no what you guys have, is special and I think that once you explain things and fix them, everything will be alright, she'll understand, I know it" She said, her brows raised at the slender woman in front of her.
Shane blinked out of her thoughts, finding herself staring at the white ceiling of her bedroom. She huffed and sat up, pushing herself off the bed and out of the room. She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her jacket before heading out of the door.
She figured that if she walked it would give her time to talk herself out of it, but alas after about fifteen minutes of walking, she found herself in front of the familiar house with the even more familiar sinking feeling in her gut. After pacing in front of the gate for five minutes she took a breath and headed up the walk way.
Shane stopped on the mat and brought her hand up, knocking twice before shoving her hands in her pockets, her eyes on the mat below her feet. She could hear footsteps approaching and it only made her stomach tighten as she braced for whatever was coming. The sound of the chain sliding open was followed by the thud of the dead bolt.
She looked up when the door opened and her heart clenched, bringing a slight dampness to her eyes. It had been so long since she had seen Carmen, that all she wanted to do was fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness from this woman, but she had to be rational about this.
"Shane? What are you doing here?" The small latino asked, her brows raised as her arms crossed over her chest. It took all she had not to jump into the slender woman's arms and hold her tight, like she should have done the night before their wedding. She had to be strong, she couldn't forgive Shane quite yet, she needed to know that this would last this time.
Shane cleared her throat for a moment before speaking, her eyes finally meeting Carmen's "I uh..I wanted to see how you were, Kit told me you were back in town and I..I wanted to.." She trailed off, not really knowing how to go from here.
"Do you want to come in and talk, it's getting kind of late and we really shouldn't linger on doorsteps after dark" Carmen spoke, bringing the taller woman out of her tangled thoughts. She watched as Shane shook her head once, as if shooing away a bug before clearing her throat again.
"Yes, that would be...that would be great" Shane finally managed to spit out as she watched Carmen step back from the door, inviting her in. She stepped over the threshold and inhaled deeply, she could smell the woman on everything and it made it hard to concentrate. Damn it..I never thought I'd miss the way she smells.