NOTE: I don't own anything. Not the song, not the kids, certainly not Stephanie's work. Direct Stephanie quotes in here from Breaking Dawn. Jake's POV of the wedding. Song!Fic. My first Twilight!fic. One shot for the time being. Intended to be a three part cause this song fits almost perfectly. But we'll see. [teamjacob! and leah!]
"And if I could swim, I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating in the dark.
And if was blessed, I walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving sunken chest.
'Cause they chose you as the model for their empty little dreams.
With your new head and your legs spread like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you and they gut you
And you give in."
- Walk Through Hell;;Say Anything
I couldn't believe I'd let him talk me into this. It was probably the worst idea the leach had ever come up with. Why he asked me here in the first place was beyond me. But then he said it was for her.
And I understood.
God, I look like a monkey in this thing. It doesn't quite reach my ankles and it's way too tight, possibly cutting off circulation to my brain. That might explain why I don't have the sense to just walk away right now. Before anyone else gets hurt. Including myself.
She claims that she attracts harm, that she's a danger magnet. I believe that. Me? Pain. That's what I… attract. So willingly, too. I know exactly what's going to happen the moment I see her. I'm going to melt. All six feet and eight inches of me into a big puddle of were-goo. And she'll walk all over me. Tell me she missed me, she's sorry for upsetting me. And my wasted heart will eat it up.
Because I'm a masochist.
I hear that's not a healthy thing to be. They're into weird kinky shit, right? Well, I don't know about kinky…
The place looks great, even though it reeks. Tiny white Christmas lights everywhere – Alice's doing, I'm sure – buckets of flowers and some sweet melody drifting from the back porch. And it's dripping in suck-monkey. I want to gag.
If I'd bothered to eat anything for dinner, I would have thrown it up right then and there. And then, there he was. His voice, anyway. He's ready.
I climbed up the gravel slowly, hoping to be as quiet as possible, and peered up over the porch railing. Behind the open screen doors, I could see the party. Beautiful people dressed in beautiful clothing. I'd be able to tell who was here for the groom even if they didn't stink just by the unnatural beauty.
There was Renee, a crumpled tissue in her hand as she laughed with another person, his mother. She was tiny, like Alice, with darker hair, still beautiful. Esme, I think.
And Charlie, who looked just as ridiculous in his suit as I did in mine, if not more so. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, whistling awkwardly until Alice came over and tugged on his hand.
And the Clearwaters. Well, Seth anyway. I wasn't sure how he could bare to stand in that room without a clothespin on his nose. Not even a grimace on his face. In fact, he was smiling. Laughing even. Well, it was great for him that he and Captain Bloodsucker were best friends. Hope he's enjoying himself.
As soon as the clicking of heels sounded, I slunk back into the darkness, hiding behind a thick trunk. He had his arm around her and was murmuring into her ear. I plunged my thick fingers into my own and held my breath.
"Thank you," he murmured, having reached me closer than I'd expected. "This is very… kind of you."
I sighed, composing myself as the couple came into my line of sight. Time to be nice, time to suck it up. It was for her after all.
"Kind is my middle name," I replied, staying in the shadow. "Can I cut in?"
And then I couldn't breathe. I'd let her think it was because she was squeezing me so hard, but I saw her face again and… it was all gone. I couldn't remember anything but the curve of her cheeks, the warm brown color of her eyes, the crinkle above her nose… My heart crumbled into a thousand pieces as she hugged me. I quickly picked up the pieces and shoved them back together but as soon as her face turned up to meet mine, it collapsed into a heap again.
"Stop blubbering, Bella. You'll ruin your dress. It's just me."
She was sobbing into my shirt, warm wet tears soaking into the fabric and pressing against my chest. I wasn't sure why she was making such a big deal. It wasn't like she was marrying me after all. I was only the… best man.
"Just? Oh, Jake! Everything is perfect now!"
Perfect. Ha.
"Yeah – the party can start. The best man finally made it," I told her, holding back any extra emotion I might have wanted to show. I dropped a gentle kiss to the top of her head, unable to help myself and quickly pulled her close against my chest.
She was absolutely gorgeous. She said Alice did it, but she didn't need any help. She'd always been beautiful, even if she couldn't see it. And through the stench, I could still smell her. Strawberry shampoo, orange blossoms, and a sweet smell that was uniquely her.
I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold it together. But I wasn't sure if I'd be able to let go of her either. Until she uttered those words.
And I fell apart.