What REALLY Happened

Between Luke and Leia in the Trash Compactor

The smell of a week's worth of garbage seeped into our clothes, hair, skin, weapons, whatever. I lounged against the wall, on top of a pile of coffee grounds, banana peels, and I-don't-want-to-know, watching the idiots chat. We had given up on trying to get out for a minute, and were taking a rest.

"So, how old are you, Leia?" Luke asked, trying to make pleasant conversation, but not really knowing how.

"I'm twenty-three. How old are you?" Leia asked, equally clueless on social practices. I rolled my eyes. The idiots were miserably clueless. I had already noticed the door standing open beside us, but I wanted to see how long it took them to see it.

"I'm twenty-three, too! When's your birthday?" Luke asked, leaning towards Leia, eager to see if the 1-in-365 chance of having the same birthday was theirs.

"July 9th."

"Me too! That is so cool! We were born the EXACT same day! What are your parents' names?" Luke asked.

"I don't know. I was adopted," Leia said with a sigh. Luke nodded.

"Me too. My mother died when I was born. My father disappeared."

"Same here!" Leia said. "Wow, we were destined to meet. You should join my 'orphans whose mothers died and fathers disappeared' support group. I'm the group leader. Do you think you can come? It's at 8:00PM on Wednesdays. Bring a snack to share, and maybe you should prepare a ten-minute life story."

"Really? We didn't have any support groups for orphans whose mothers died and father disappeared on Tatooine. But I did have a friend named Ben Kenobi," Luke said.

"Ben Kenobi? I was trying to find him! Wow! I'm so glad we met, Luke. What was your last name again?" Leia asked.

"Skywalker."

"Wow, that sounds so familiar. Maybe we've met before. Have you ever been to that planet with a ton of lava? I heard somewhere that fathers that disappear tend to go there and get hurt."

"Yeah," Luke said. "I've heard that, too. But I've never been there."

I got bored. This discussion between the two of them was going nowhere, and I was starting to feel sick from the smell.

"Hey, princess? Jedi-nerd? The door is open," I said, hopping down from my trash pile.

"Oh, okay, Han!" Leia said, batting her eyes while glaring at me.

We walked out and found showers to get rid of the garbage smell and went on our merry way.

That's what really happened between Luke and Leia in the trash compactor.