castles in the air
notes: so here is my entry for the first bonus day. i'm not completely satisfied with it because it's actually been a long time since i last wrote hardcore angst (i'm more of a light angst/drama kinda gal, i think) so i literally just typed random stuff. not quite sure where this idea came from but i rolled with it. hopefully you can somewhat see the prompt incorporated in there...somewhere...i think... TT_TT anyhoo, enjoy!
disclaimer: i don't own Fairy Tail (that goes for the rest of this collection too, obvs)
ever after
"You didn't choose this life."
That's what he told her every time she looked in the mirror and saw not a human being, not a woman, but a used and bruised doll. That's what he said every time he found her clutching something sharp, something pointy, something lethal against her wrist while trying not to cry.
That's what he insisted through his own sticky tears every time she stumbled into the apartment sometime in the early morning, hair mussed, makeup smeared, clothes rumpled, and body violated.
He wanted to help her. "Please, Luce," he begged again and again. "You don't have to do this anymore. I'll support you. Please, I love you."
Every day he would say the same thing and today was no different.
She shook her head tiredly and turned away, as he expected. "No, I can't take advantage of you like that. I have to make my own money."
"Then just until you find another job," he suggested desperately, latching onto her arms and pulling her into his body. "I'll even let you pay me back later!"
"Natsu—"
"Lucy, please." He muffled his harsh sobs in her shoulder. "Please. I can't watch you destroy yourself like this anymore."
Usually, she would give in to her tears at this point and let him hold her until she calmed down. But there was something different about her today. Something empty.
Emptier.
"It's all I know how to do now, Natsu," she said indifferently. "It's what I deserve."
"No, it's not! Stop saying that!" He pulled back and stared into her eyes fiercely, searching for—something, but finding only resignation. Her eyes were dead; he could barely see any hint of the joyous girl he had fallen in love with. "Lucy, it wasn't your fault. Your father chose to destroy himself."
"But I pushed him—"
"You weren't even there!"
"Exactly!" She shoved him away roughly, making him stumble back and fall onto the bed. She glared at him. "I wasn't fucking there when he fucking needed me! I wasn't there to stop him—to help him—to—to—"
He stared as she sucked in a deep breath and recomposed herself. "You don't understand. I should've tried harder for him. But I didn't and this is my punishment."
"Lucy—"
"God, Natsu, hasn't it ever crossed your mind that maybe I like doing this?" she snapped nastily, sneering at him. His eyes widened. "Yeah, that's right. At first, it was painful. Whores don't get to choose who fucks them, you know? But now I'm glad. Because you never let me cut anymore, so this is the only kind of pain I can get."
Natsu's expression was one of abject horror. He reached for her—this broken, empty girl who held his heart in her frail fingers—with a trembling hand but she jerked away. "Lucy, please—"
"'Lucy, please'!" she mocked in a high-pitched voice. "God, you're so pathetic. All you ever do is bitch at me. Look, I'm a whore and that's all I'm ever gonna be. If you're gonna stick around, then you'd better get used to it."
"Lucy, what happened?" His voice was a shaky whisper, almost inaudible even in the stuffy stillness of the apartment.
What happened to his Luce, the beautiful girl he had fallen in love with? Looking at her now, he could hardly recognize her anymore. The girl he had fallen for was hopeful and loving, a girl made of stars and love. She had already been working in the brothel for years, but she had still been able to smile genuinely and plan a future with him.
Suddenly—or maybe not so suddenly; maybe it had been such a gradual decline that he just hadn't been able to see it until it was far too late—the light in her eyes was all but extinguished, the warmth of her voice all but gone. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough to save her—and now she had fallen past the point of no return.
Maybe he had never held the power to save her in the first place.
"I love you," he croaked out brokenly.
She rolled her eyes and walked away. "I thought I loved you too. Then I realized that love doesn't exist."
The door slammed behind her and Natsu finally released the pain in his chest, wondering if hope had finally abandoned him.
A week passed with no sign of Lucy. At first, Natsu thought she was simply avoiding him. After their fight—was that what it was? A measly fight? It seemed much more significant than that—he expected it. But it had been a week now and he was seriously starting to worry. She wouldn't just leave him without a word, would she? She would at least come back for her stuff and let him know she was leaving, right?
He sighed, burrowing deeper into his scarf as the cold air materialized in the shape of his breath. He quickened his pace, eager to get to the grocery store, where it would undoubtedly be warmer than outside.
He hated winter. Holiday season, his ass. Winter only ever brought him pain and despair.
He thought again of Lucy.
Recently, he had heard on the news that a sadistic serial killer was loose in Magnolia. His first thought had been of Lucy. Where was she? Was she safe? He figured she would be staying at the brothel or with one of the girls who worked there with her which, while not exactly safe, was better than her roaming around alone. But his coincidental run-ins with girls from the brothel informed him that she hadn't been seen for days.
He tried not to panic, but it was difficult. No one had seen her in days—not a good sign. But maybe she was hiding out, lying low somewhere else. Somewhere she had kept secret from him.
His heart ached.
There was a piercing shriek and a violent yell and suddenly all chaos broke out on the street Natsu stumbled as people shoved him in their hurry to run away. He frowned.
What was going on?
"Police! Police! Someone call the police! Hurry!" someone screamed wildly, scrambling out of a small alley that Natsu knew housed only dumpsters, having passed it every time he went out for groceries.
The commotion grew with crowd, and soon Natsu was squeezing himself through tiny gaps between horrified onlookers.
"Excuse me, excuse me, sorry," he muttered as he made his way to the front of the crowd and into the alley.
When he finally saw what was wrong, he stopped dead in this tracks. For a moment, time stood still. Not a particle moved, not a sound whistled through the air. The world was frozen.
Then he found himself on bruised knees, clutching at his chest because he couldn't breathe, icy tears running down his cheeks from unblinking eyes and—was that Lucy? That wasn't Lucy. That couldn't be. Lucy was golden and this—this—this—no. It wasn't Lucy.
Red.
That was all he could see.
The pressure in his chest grew exponentially and all of a sudden his world tilted and he was facing the ground, vomiting for all he was worth.
No. No. No.
This wasn't happening. This was just a nightmare. Just a horrible, horrible nightmare.
No.
He would wake up and Lucy would be asleep in his arms and he would kiss her awake and she would smile at him, that brilliant smile of hers, and everything would be okay. This wasn't real.
It couldn't be.
There was a strange buzzing sound in his ears and he thought he smelled rusted iron. He gasped for breath, but the winter air was too cold for his lungs, too sharp. He felt like he was being stabbed in the chest with a thousand tiny icicles.
His eyes flickered up and amongst all the frozen red-brown, amongst the tangled mess of something that may have once been a person but certainly wasn't anymore—amongst all that, he saw it.
The sweet blue ribbon still knotted stubbornly around a thick lock of golden gossamer hair, both of which were now forever stained with that ugly, ugly russet red.
He saw it.
Then his head hit the pavement, and he saw no more.
We're not a fairy tale, Natsu, she had said once, ignoring his protests. We don't get a happy ending.
You were right, Lucy. Because this is our ever after.
© Copyright 2015 by The Siege