Hahhhh… I feel like writing humour so here is my creation, The Big Bang Theory. Yes, this is a mockery, A BIG mockery of it. My main project at the moment is Alternate History. As a side project, this won't get updated much.

If you have any questions PM me or put them in a review or something. Hope you like this.

PROLOGUE

They say in the beginning there was nothing… Psh, what a load of bull! Really, the universe used to be full of… ANTIMATTER! So, let's just imagine this fabled 'nothingness' as blackness. Or perhaps a navy blueness?

Suddenly a small rip in the impending darkness opens and a most curious object is flung out. It appears to be one of Deidara's arms. (You can tell by the gaping orifice.)

Instantly the antimatter reacts to the sudden appearance of matter and an all out battle begins!

This is the Ultimate Showdo- Cough, yes well… An explosion of epic proportions is created as the result of this battle. The matter and antimatter defeat each other and LIGHT is created as a result. Hallelujah!

Hatake Kakashi, do you have ANY idea what you've just created?

Oh look, now the explosion has died down. Everything is beginning to cool down. Cool down to a few trillion trillion degrees that is. Did I mention the radioactive fog, which has encompassed this new universe? Well buddy, it's there.

Of course, by now the rip that rudely spewed Deidara's arm out had closed long ago. Those lucky bastards in the Narutoverse aren't suffering from any of this… yet. Oops, that's giving away the plot! BAD!

So, about now the quarks are creating neutrons, protons and electrons. The neutrons protons and electrons are creating lots of Hydrogen, quite a bit of Helium and small traces of Lithium.

Did I mention how hot it still is? Perhaps a few trillion degrees Celsius now.

Now, because time is young and inexperienced, we suddenly find that the equivalent of three hundred thousand years have passed. That means it's only three thousand degrees Celsius.

More elements are being created as I speak and the fog has cleared for some reason. Now light can travel the universe!

Over the next thousand million years the temperature cools even further and the Hydrogen atoms loose energy. They succumb to the young and mysterious force of gravity and form Hydrogen clouds.

As things get even chillier the Hydrogen clouds break up and begin to form GALAXIES! Stars are made via nuclear FUSION!

Deidara would have been proud of his part in this bang if it weren't for the fact he was currently being attacked by two crazy men in green jumpsuits.

This would have been his greatest work yet. We all know art is a bang, un… Right?

Chapter One

"He did what with the Sharingan?" Itachi demanded, practically throttling Deidara for information.

"Created… portal to… different… dimension… ripped my… arm off…" he managed to gasp out. He tried to escape from Itachi's grip on his throat. But this can be quite difficult when one finds they have no arms…

"But how?" he demanded, about ready to begin frothing at the mouth. Important lesson, keeping emotion pent up can make you do that.

"I dunno yeah! You're the Sharingan user!" Deidara exclaimed, making futile attempts to break free from Itachi's grip by kicking.

"Describe what happened again!" he demanded, loosening his grip on Deidara's throat by a fraction so that he could speak properly.

"Hatake raised his head band so the Sharingan eye was showing. It took on a weird shape and the next thing I knew there was this rip next to me. I avoided it the first time. But on the third my arm got caught up and ripped off. It was sucked into who knows where." Deidara reeled off… again. He looked down. Boy did it sting…

Itachi finally put Deidara down and thought, 'I can't have missed something in the scrolls could I? I must return to Konoha and check.'

But Leader ever so rudely interrupted his thoughts, 'You can't, you'll be slaughtered.'

Itachi glared daggers, but because he couldn't see Leader, Deidara copped the full force of it.

Deidara winced and backed away even further, attempting to vanish through the wall. He just wanted his arm back so he could make things a'splode…

That was when Kakuzu walked in, holding a needle, thread and… Deidara's other beloved arm.

"No!" Itachi yelled uncharacteristically. "No arm until I find out what's going on."

Kakuzu shrugged and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Deidara yelled desperately, "If I have my arm I can help you to infiltrate Konoha! Please…"

Itachi's face returned to it's normal blankness, "You'd better."

Somehow, this seemed to be far more intimidating than the threat of asphyxiation Deidara had suffered from earlier.

Tadaa! By the way I got the inspiration for this during science when me and my friend were discussing how the hell Kakashi rips through space and time with the Sharingan.
Comments, suggestions and questions are all welcome. In fact they're encouraged… strongly…