The DigiDoomed's Digi-Madness!
By RainbowKat
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. The others own it, just not me.
Author's note: This is my first Digimon fic. A real comedy that I hope you will enjoy. By the way, the names were mispelled purposely to provide humor.
Wedding bells rang all over the Cathedral, drowning out all the protests of the attending guests. A parson, eighty years in his age, asked,
" Mimi TouchieKisswa, will you take Fizzy Izoomi as your unlawful husband, until death or Dark Masters do you apart?"
"Finish the wedding ceremony already! And I say a big, Dark Master-filled YES!" screams Mimi.
"And Fizzy Izoomi, will you take Mimi TouchieKisswa as your third unlawful wife until death, your second wife Piedmon or computer viruses do you apart?"
"Hey! You weren't supposed to reveal that! You idiot parson!
"And now you may cut the wedding cake"
The wedding cake was brought in. It was in the shape of a plant, but to Mimi it looked like a familiar Digimon. Her face paled as she realized what it really was…
"You never told me about your other wives! And who are they anyway? Your Digimon or the Digimon Kaiser? Only they would be foolish enough to marry you! Besides, you killed my Digimon!"
"No, it's still alive! That's what makes it taste good!"
Mimi starts to sob as the guests cut the still-alive wedding cake that was Togemon.
At this, the parson spoke up. "His first wife is Patamon. His second wife is the famous Dark Master Etemon. You are his third wife. Trust me on that, Miss TouchieKisswa. I helped marry all of them. I also helped marry you and Fizzy Izoomi together."
Mimi cries "No!" and runs for the rows of chairs of the guests/protesters. They all go out of the way, until Mimi came up to a certain boy, whose face first had registered depression and heartbreak, then surprise and delight.
"Tai! You're still here for me! Even after I married Fizzy! Oh, I want to be your girlfriend again! Oh, please!" begs Mimi.
They hear an evil laugh behind them.
"You'll never escape from me, Miss TouchieKisswa! Or should I say, Mrs. Izoomi? You're my wife. My third! Isn't life fun?"
Tai Goggles and Mimi TouchieKisswa/ Izoomi turn around, and they see Fizzy Izoomi running towards them, and the entrance/exits blocked by the guests, who were actually Digimon.
They are forced to turn over to the parson for help, when he says,
"In the name of drooling over Gabumon, I command you to stop!"
The parson tears off his uniform. It is Matt I-am-a-she-duh! He runs over to Fizzy and says,
"Fizzy Izoomi! You have a terrible preference for ladies! When are you going to stop going gaga on young ones like Mimi TouchieKisswa, and date more mature ladies like, er, like… Sora CannotFly! I don't like her, and neither does Joe Kiddie so go date Sora CannotFly. She's the only Digi-destined that's bad enough for you. In fact, she's perfect for you! As perfect as I am for every guy in the universe! Mhuahahahahha! I am the KING OF MATCHMAKING!"
Fizzy and Mimi suppress their giggles as Fizzy's Digimon Temtamon drags the babbling Matt out of the cathedral. Fizzy can't help it; he giggles for the rest of the story. As soon as Matt is out the door (still laughing) and Fizzy starts to flirt with Kari, Mimi and TeaCake (where did he come from?) sneak into one of the back rooms and start to make out (Poor Mimi and TeaCake, they were affect by Matt's giggling. It changes personalities. No wonder soon after this incident, Mimi has Gabumon's child).
*Later in Fizzy's Million-Dollar Shack*
Fizzy Izoomi paces back and forth.
"Maybe I should try and go date Sora CannotFly. Doesn't dating one's enemy improve social rankings and my - $ 989,607,095,527 dollar account? DemiDevimon! Myotismon! My two loyal and devoted accountants, health advisers, AND boyfriends!"
"Here sire!"
"How much will I save using Puppetmon's PlayHouse Club Membership and broken Digivices to purchase: three more Digi-Doomed, an extra small king sized bed 'fit for an idiot' for my fiancée and I, four more pairs of my old suits, three more MetalSeaDramons for housekeeping, and ten-thousand pineapple computer laptops!"
"Sire, you own forty-six million laptops all ready! We've stolen all of Tokyo's computers!"
"I DON'T CARE!!! Just do it! I'm addicted to Fanfiction.net!"
"Fizzy!" shouts Mimi TouchieKisswa
"Oh yes, Mimi, I forgot. Sorry. Two bottles of clear nail polish for Mimi."
"More!"
"And two pink ones."
"More!"
"And two cardinal crimsons. Mimi, I ain't gonna bye you stuff anymore. I saw you last night cheating on me with Matt I-Am-A-She-Duh!"
Fizzy continues to talk to his secretaries. "Plus 96,234,824,923,989,347 more bottles of Viagra for me and my other sleeping pals! Use your mental math power! Tell me how much it will cost!"
"That will be $9,884,998,273 used up in your precious account, sire. Now you owe $999,492,093,800 dollars to the bank!" answers DemiDevimon quickly, who was secretly Einstein in disguise trying to hide from Bill Clinton.
"Sora will love the gifts I give her! And all she needs to give me is her divorce papers!
"It's marriage consent, sire."
"What-ever! Now GET OUT!"
"Yes, sire."
"I'm not 'sire,' I'm Fizzy Izoomi!"
"Yes, Mr. Fizzy Izoomi."
"Call me 'sire!'
The conversation melts into the distance…