Beer And Sephiroth Just Don't Mix
based on a true story

tifa has a plan to make poor ol sephy drunk
as she sleeps vincent is going to wake her up for a fun filled day!


The story begins


tifa (tired): aawwwwwww i don't want to get up
vincent: too bad you have to
tifa:why?
vincent: we have to go with your plan to get sephiroth drunk
tifa:and get him in a dress and tape it heehee
vincent:this will be great BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
tifa:your to damn loud
5 min. later
cloud: so um how are we gunna get him drunk?
cait:simple first we wait till he comes over for the party then we have a drinking contest then we tell him he is a girl and we get him one of aeris's dresses and put it on him
cid:this is going to kick @$$
red 13: well thats that the party is at 5:30 pm
barret:damn i can't wait till sephiroth gets drunk
cid: jes for some $&^$&$& fun how about we make him watch pokemon too hahahaha
cloud(thinking):hey i like pokemon
cid sparks his morning sig: so what are we going to do untill the party
yuffie: POKEMON
cid: %^#%&$*& NO dukes of hazzard
cait: both of those shows suck
yuffie: pokemon does not suck::sniff::
cid: do not dis the dukes you *&%%*% cat thing
red 13: will you all shut up its annoying
cait: lets watch shin-ra news
yuffie and cloud:boring
cid: oh well im sick of dukes they are sucking now
all: yay
Miyu: what the hell is up people?
vincent: the group is fighting over what to do untill the party
miyu: hey i know how about we play final fantasy 5
cid: what the &$$& is that
miyu: an old RPG before you guys
yuffie: does it have cute animals
miyu: hell no
yuffie: damn im not playing
cid: i want to see it, it might just kick some F&*%*&%* @$$
Miyu: damn straight
vincent: who is the best character?
miyu: faris
cid: he sounds cool
miyu: heh heh

miyu turns on the on the playstation
Final Fantasy 5 starts up

all: ooooo ahhhhhhh
miyu: well lets start this bitch
all:ok
ff5 bartz:im going to check on him ok?
ff5 reina and galuf:ok
ff5 bartz:ohhhhhhhh::heart appears over his head::
ff5 galuf and riena:what going on?

galuf enters the room

ff5 galuf:oh wow ::heart appears over his head::
ff5 bartz and galuf: mumble mumble oh so gorgeous..Im excited!!
ff5 riena: what are you guys talking about?

end of scene

all:hahahaahahahahahhahaahhahahahaahahahahahhahaahahahaahahahahahahaaahaahaahhahahahaahahaha
miyu: i dont think we should play any more
barret: oh god they like a guy heehee
miyu: faris is a girl
barret: oh

5:30 pm bum bum bum* hack* *hack*
Ding Dong

miyu:welcome sephiroth
sephiroth:where is the beer
miyu: oh wow the GREAT SEPHIROTH wants beer
sephiroth:f^&* YA I WANT SOME!!!!!!!
miyu:bring on the beer tifa
tifa:here you are sephiroth

10 min. later

sephiroth:holybigoly *hic*
tifa: now is our chance
aeris: here is what you get for killing me hahahahahhha
vincent: i thought you were dead
aeris: well im not ahahahahahah
tifa:grrrrrr.....cloud is mine and why don't you stay dead
cloud:there is no time for this

barret strips sephiroth and he is wearing barney boxers heehheeh

barret: give me the dress
cloud:ok

barret puts the dress on sephiroth

sephiroth:i feel pretty
cloud:ya your pretty....
aeris:hmm....he looks good
sephiroth:tralalalalala hmm. aeris lets go shopping::falls over::
aeris:no sephiroth...
cloud:why don't you goto bed heh heh?
sephiroth:tralala im not going toooooo bed alalalllllaalalaallalaalalalala*konk*
cid:shut the *%(%(* up
sephiroth:holybigoly i must go shopping with aeris and tifa and yuffie and miyu tralalala
yuffie and miyu:shopping eeeeeh*shudders*
miyu and yuffie:we hate shopping it is gay
cloud: ok miyu and yuffie i have the video camra cid bought
miyu:and action
sephiroth:blah blah hee hee im too sexy for my pants too sexy for my pants so sexy it huuuurrtss ssssss::passes out::
all::hahhhaahahahah
sephiroth: ::gets back up::holybigoly i want cheese

jenova walks in or what ever she does

jenova:sephiroth what did i tell you about getting drunk dammit boy im going to kick your @$$,come with me young man and where are the f$^* are your cothes
sephiroth: but mom
jenova:no buts cause im going to smack your sorry @$$ off
::lucreacia appears::
lucreacia:YOUR KID?HE IS MINE IM GOING TO KILL YOU
jenova:ahhh!!

to be continued

cid:damn that was scary im glad she is not my mom
miyu:damn straight

The Real End




i hoped you liked this short but dumb fic and i know all these great people are trademarks of squaresoft but miyu is me so not her so bye bye send me email at Hmmdaggy@aol.com i would love comments and i will be writing the next one soon if 1 person e-mails me about them liking it