Faint
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or it's characters, nor do I own Linkin Park and their song 'Faint'.
Author's Note: Hey all!!!! I'm soooo sooooo sorry I haven't yet written the sequel you all asked for and certainly do deserve because of all the wonderful reviews you all gave me for 'Numb'. I've been quite busy with homework and other crap going on (I know it's not a reason, more like an excuse..don't hurt me....*coughs nervously* -_-;;). Well anyways..shoot I gotta go get more tea hehe -_-;;...but here is the sequel you've all been waiting for. And just so you know, this first chapter will be kind of a brief informative filler mostly of the tournament, but it'll also help the pave the road for the plot.
Ps. I apologize for the difficulty some readers experienced due to the fact that my computer was acting all funky making those symbols and stuff appear rather than the quotes and such that should've appeared. I'm not exactly sure how to fix that..um if anyone knows than maybe you could tell me how to fix it. The program I'm using is Microsoft Word '97, if that helps any.
~_~_~_~ - refers to a memory
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*~*
I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you want what I've got
*~*~*
I kneeled carefully (minding my injuries) on my bed, gazing out the glass pane that was my window, thinking about the tournament. And of course the night before the tournament. Swallowing the bitterness that now held a current residence within me, due to a certain 'mistake', I sighed somewhat frustrated. Of course, the mistake I was referring to was the ever aloof, and icy cold captain of the team which I was on, the Bladebreakers. I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. He'd caused me the worst heartbreak ..well only heartbreak, since I've never really had any lovers before him, I've ever experienced.
Kai Hiwatari: the former Russian captain of our team, with a tragic past and cold demeanor. He could literally could put anyone in their place, and Tyson, the spirit of the team, usually bore the brunt of his annoyance and bitterness.
The World Tournament in Russia had ended in quite an interesting way. We were all surprised we pulled through gaining the title of 'World Champions', considering I was greatly injured and our best blader had betrayed us to persue something that was obviously more important to him than friendship and love. Being one of the most set-in-his-ways types could really be a downer sometimes, but he was pretty experienced in life, despite not being much older than the rest of us. And nothing could really stop him when he was persuing a life long dream. I just wish things hadn't ended between us so quickly. Kai was hard all the way through, and very few have seen what I've seen of him. I suppose those whom he trusted would be those that he would let in.
Anyway, as for the tournament, Kai took a spot on the Demolition Boys' team and faced the competition with enough vicious vigor to claim all of our bitbeasts. He believed that none of his victims deserved their bitbeasts, their power and that he was the only one worthy. Sounds pretty pompous, eh? I thought so. But it hurt, to know that this blader, whom I both looked up to and was completely in love with would betray us, betray me. I remember the look in his eyes as he faced each opponent, none of which knew what Kai had become, I pitied them. He held this cold look, completely heartless, and unconcerned. Even when he caught my glance, I couldn't find a single bit of true emotion in those glazed eyes, it was like he wasn't even him anymore. It was like we had never been together, which of course had helped his social skills and tolerance for the team. He was becoming a little more mellow, not terribly so, but enough for at least Max, Kenny and I to notice. I doubt Tyson would've noticed, as he tends to have food on his mind twenty-four seven. Either that or bickering with Kai or thinking about Max. Yes, I have been aware of the pair's attraction towards one another, I thought it was kind of sweet.
I'm off track again. So, after the whole thing with Kai-on-a-rampage- stealing-bitbeasts-and-obsessed-with-the-power-of-Black-Dranzer, Tyson was pretty pissed off, so of course, in the typical Tyson style, he wanted nothing more than to challenge him. Kai beat him to it, however, he gave us a message, that he wanted to challenge the team and prove that he was the most powerful beyblader in the world. He battled me first in Siberia, on that frozen, or partially anyways, lake. I had wanted nothing more than to get it over with, I was upset and angry and hardly wanted to see him at such a time. It didn't take him long to wear me out, our beybattle lasted only a couple of minutes, but before he finished me off, I thought I caught a glimpse of pained emotion shining through. It shocked me. I didn't think he'd cared about what his actions would do to us, I mean just up and left me the night before the tournament, why would he start to care now?
The words he whispered before he left me echoed in my head, "It's not you Rei, not you at all. It's not the others either. I do care, but this is my life. Everything I've been through has led up to this point," He stood up to go back inside and said quietly, "I will be with the Demolition Boys' team, but I hope to return to you someday Rei, if you'll ever forgive me. Please don't tell the others, they will find out soon enough. Goodbye.. Rei-chan."
The memory brought back the tears I'd suppressed. I wiped my cheeks and laid down on our bed ---my bed. Kai had finished the battle, and then faced Tyson. Unfortunatly Tyson lost, but we were graced with Max's presence as he came right in the nick of time. However, Max also lost, and just when Kai thought he'd claimed his victory, Tyson pulled out his Dranzer. Kai was surprised to say the least. I could almost remember a pained expression as he saw his old blade, and was almost certain he felt ashamed for abandoning her. Dranzer had been his companion for most of his life, and they were an unstoppable team. But Kai would rather have had Black Dranzer for his power. Power that ultimately consumed Kai in the end.
Their battle had been intense, but in the end Tyson won. The ice was cracking from the blows it received from the battling bitbeasts, and Kai was sinking fast. Worried, we all dashed forward to help our wayward former captain, but he was so overcome with shame and disgrace with himself, he would not accept our help. Tyson helped him see past it somehow, and I may have shot him a look of hurt and worry that convinced him to accept our help. We pulled him back up onto the ice, and he acknowledged our assistance. He quickly got onto his helicoptor, assuring us he planned to return Black Dranzer to his grandfather.
We didn't see Kai for awhile, at least not really until Tyson's final battle with Tala. He made his appearances subtle, but Tyson did mention that Kai, Lee and Robert had done some training with him. I'm guessing Kai was a little uncomfortable coming back, especially since I was still deeply hurt, so he stayed away from us as much as possible. However the night before Tyson's battle with Tala came rolling into my mind.
~_~_~_~_~
Journal,
I shiver as the sharp, piercing wind penetrated through my thin sweater, but have no desire to hide inside where it is warm. Kai's in there, and I don't feel like speaking to him. Kai just came back today from wherever he's been retreating to, and unfortunately the others aren't willing to give up their rooms for him to stay in. I swear the bunch of clowns can be so bloody selfish sometimes, I'm sorry, I'm just angry right now.
My emotions are all messed up, and I haven't been sleeping well. Plus, the tournament finals being tomorrow doesn't really improve things that much. I'm stressed I think. I should go and practice some yoga or meditate, but that would require being around Kai, since he's stuck in my room. Jerk. I know nobody really knows about Kai and me, or rather our previous relationship, but I feel like my pain's being ignored, or maybe some god just hates me somewhere. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve this pain, probably do, I'm not sure what I did, but then again I'm not sure about a lot of things now. Will Kai betray us again? Are we even accepting him? I mean I know we all want him back, except for me, it's just too much, but is he really the captain again? Or will he abandon us again when we need him the most? Maybe I ought to understand where he's coming from more, afterall, I am supposed to be the level-headed one on this team, calm and peacekeeper-ish.
I think Kai can see my discomfort though. He's always been able to see through me, it doesn't seem fair sometimes. I think he feels bad, though he does not show it much. I can't believe how much I miss that bastard. It makes me giddy to remember how he held and touched me, but just pisses me off that I can't seem to get it in my head that he's just trouble, not worth it. It's like my head says one thing but my heart says another. Doesn't that sound cliché.
................
Oh shit! Kai just came out, he's going to find me. I'll write more later.
Kon Rei.
I looked down from my spot on the tree branch to see Kai looking up at me with a curious glance. That was usually my forte, it doesn't quite suit him, but he did look cute with that expression. Agh! Think angry thoughts! I am pissed off! I do not want anything to do with the jerk for as long as I live! But those eyes.... Aghhh! I'm driving myself insane! Kai seemed to notice the various expressions I must've been wearing, because he hopped up on the tree with me.
I looked at him. What was he doing?
He didn't seem to be able to conjure up any words of explanation, so I figured maybe he would if I asked.
"What do you want?" I spat out harsher than I wanted.
He looked down, but resumed his old emotionless expression.
"You should go back inside, you'll get sick."
"Whatever, since when do you care anyway?"
He winced, I almost felt bad, almost. Then I thought up something cruel.
"It's not like it matters. If I manage to freeze to death, maybe I can move on with some dignity and not have to deal with this shit anymore."
His eyes widened. I never usually played with suicidal thoughts like that, at least not out-loud.
Despite the remorse expression, it didn't look like he was going to apologize, I would've have bought that anyway. I don't see myself ever taking the bastard back. He hurt me and nobody, especially not him, will ever hurt me like that again. I will not let it happen. I can't bear it. It hurts too much. My head was starting to throb and I could feel the sniffles building up. I was going to be sick the next day, I knew it. My injuries I'd gotten from battle were still present, the doctors hadn't wanted to let me out but I insisted. Unfortunately, I also didn't know that getting sick, having to heal for that as well as healing for my injuries, would land me in the hospital the next day.
I carefully climbed out of the tree, dragging my crutches awkwardly, but getting the hang of it after a few fumbles. I hopped on the crutches towards the hotel room, leaving Kai out there. Maybe he's got an idea of how I've felt.
As I reached the door, my journal fell out of my sweater pocket, and I leant down to pick it up when another hand got there before I did. I caught Kai's gaze as he picked the little white notebook out of the fluffy snow. He handed the book to me gently, before opening the door for me. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and guilt, even though I should'nt have felt guilty in the least, it was more or less in my nature.
I glanced behind me as I hobbled down the corridor towards the elevator, catching Kai's intense crimson eyes on me. I blushed, but shook my head and glared at him. How dare he try to be all nice as if nothing happened! Selfish bastard! Selfish ..hot....passionate...sexy bastard. Dammit! I mentally smacked myself and decided if I thought up anymore 'unclean' thoughts, I would be sure to run out infont of the next passing bus in the street and hope for the best. With that, I headed towards my room.
~_~_~_~_~
My crutches laid up against the bed post, (I still needed them but would be off them pretty soon) and I idly wondered if they'd fall over and knock me out, then I would definitely be unable to think anymore. I just wanted to sleep, so tired.........
I'd been dreaming of something nice, a hot Russian with muscular biceps and abs (A/n: Mmm..lol wonder who that could be?) , when the bed shifted slightly. Too tired to care who it was, I shifted over and turned towards the wall. A sudden warmth covered my cold body, and I slept more soundly.
*~*~*
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
*~*~*
A/n: Continue? Comments please! Again, soooo sorry for the supremely long wait hehe. Hoped that made up. I'll update soon as I can! Ja.
P.S. THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND ENJOYED THE PREQUEL TO THIS, 'NUMB'! ^_^ YOU ALL ROCK!
Keisan
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or it's characters, nor do I own Linkin Park and their song 'Faint'.
Author's Note: Hey all!!!! I'm soooo sooooo sorry I haven't yet written the sequel you all asked for and certainly do deserve because of all the wonderful reviews you all gave me for 'Numb'. I've been quite busy with homework and other crap going on (I know it's not a reason, more like an excuse..don't hurt me....*coughs nervously* -_-;;). Well anyways..shoot I gotta go get more tea hehe -_-;;...but here is the sequel you've all been waiting for. And just so you know, this first chapter will be kind of a brief informative filler mostly of the tournament, but it'll also help the pave the road for the plot.
Ps. I apologize for the difficulty some readers experienced due to the fact that my computer was acting all funky making those symbols and stuff appear rather than the quotes and such that should've appeared. I'm not exactly sure how to fix that..um if anyone knows than maybe you could tell me how to fix it. The program I'm using is Microsoft Word '97, if that helps any.
~_~_~_~ - refers to a memory
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*~*
I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you want what I've got
*~*~*
I kneeled carefully (minding my injuries) on my bed, gazing out the glass pane that was my window, thinking about the tournament. And of course the night before the tournament. Swallowing the bitterness that now held a current residence within me, due to a certain 'mistake', I sighed somewhat frustrated. Of course, the mistake I was referring to was the ever aloof, and icy cold captain of the team which I was on, the Bladebreakers. I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. He'd caused me the worst heartbreak ..well only heartbreak, since I've never really had any lovers before him, I've ever experienced.
Kai Hiwatari: the former Russian captain of our team, with a tragic past and cold demeanor. He could literally could put anyone in their place, and Tyson, the spirit of the team, usually bore the brunt of his annoyance and bitterness.
The World Tournament in Russia had ended in quite an interesting way. We were all surprised we pulled through gaining the title of 'World Champions', considering I was greatly injured and our best blader had betrayed us to persue something that was obviously more important to him than friendship and love. Being one of the most set-in-his-ways types could really be a downer sometimes, but he was pretty experienced in life, despite not being much older than the rest of us. And nothing could really stop him when he was persuing a life long dream. I just wish things hadn't ended between us so quickly. Kai was hard all the way through, and very few have seen what I've seen of him. I suppose those whom he trusted would be those that he would let in.
Anyway, as for the tournament, Kai took a spot on the Demolition Boys' team and faced the competition with enough vicious vigor to claim all of our bitbeasts. He believed that none of his victims deserved their bitbeasts, their power and that he was the only one worthy. Sounds pretty pompous, eh? I thought so. But it hurt, to know that this blader, whom I both looked up to and was completely in love with would betray us, betray me. I remember the look in his eyes as he faced each opponent, none of which knew what Kai had become, I pitied them. He held this cold look, completely heartless, and unconcerned. Even when he caught my glance, I couldn't find a single bit of true emotion in those glazed eyes, it was like he wasn't even him anymore. It was like we had never been together, which of course had helped his social skills and tolerance for the team. He was becoming a little more mellow, not terribly so, but enough for at least Max, Kenny and I to notice. I doubt Tyson would've noticed, as he tends to have food on his mind twenty-four seven. Either that or bickering with Kai or thinking about Max. Yes, I have been aware of the pair's attraction towards one another, I thought it was kind of sweet.
I'm off track again. So, after the whole thing with Kai-on-a-rampage- stealing-bitbeasts-and-obsessed-with-the-power-of-Black-Dranzer, Tyson was pretty pissed off, so of course, in the typical Tyson style, he wanted nothing more than to challenge him. Kai beat him to it, however, he gave us a message, that he wanted to challenge the team and prove that he was the most powerful beyblader in the world. He battled me first in Siberia, on that frozen, or partially anyways, lake. I had wanted nothing more than to get it over with, I was upset and angry and hardly wanted to see him at such a time. It didn't take him long to wear me out, our beybattle lasted only a couple of minutes, but before he finished me off, I thought I caught a glimpse of pained emotion shining through. It shocked me. I didn't think he'd cared about what his actions would do to us, I mean just up and left me the night before the tournament, why would he start to care now?
The words he whispered before he left me echoed in my head, "It's not you Rei, not you at all. It's not the others either. I do care, but this is my life. Everything I've been through has led up to this point," He stood up to go back inside and said quietly, "I will be with the Demolition Boys' team, but I hope to return to you someday Rei, if you'll ever forgive me. Please don't tell the others, they will find out soon enough. Goodbye.. Rei-chan."
The memory brought back the tears I'd suppressed. I wiped my cheeks and laid down on our bed ---my bed. Kai had finished the battle, and then faced Tyson. Unfortunatly Tyson lost, but we were graced with Max's presence as he came right in the nick of time. However, Max also lost, and just when Kai thought he'd claimed his victory, Tyson pulled out his Dranzer. Kai was surprised to say the least. I could almost remember a pained expression as he saw his old blade, and was almost certain he felt ashamed for abandoning her. Dranzer had been his companion for most of his life, and they were an unstoppable team. But Kai would rather have had Black Dranzer for his power. Power that ultimately consumed Kai in the end.
Their battle had been intense, but in the end Tyson won. The ice was cracking from the blows it received from the battling bitbeasts, and Kai was sinking fast. Worried, we all dashed forward to help our wayward former captain, but he was so overcome with shame and disgrace with himself, he would not accept our help. Tyson helped him see past it somehow, and I may have shot him a look of hurt and worry that convinced him to accept our help. We pulled him back up onto the ice, and he acknowledged our assistance. He quickly got onto his helicoptor, assuring us he planned to return Black Dranzer to his grandfather.
We didn't see Kai for awhile, at least not really until Tyson's final battle with Tala. He made his appearances subtle, but Tyson did mention that Kai, Lee and Robert had done some training with him. I'm guessing Kai was a little uncomfortable coming back, especially since I was still deeply hurt, so he stayed away from us as much as possible. However the night before Tyson's battle with Tala came rolling into my mind.
~_~_~_~_~
Journal,
I shiver as the sharp, piercing wind penetrated through my thin sweater, but have no desire to hide inside where it is warm. Kai's in there, and I don't feel like speaking to him. Kai just came back today from wherever he's been retreating to, and unfortunately the others aren't willing to give up their rooms for him to stay in. I swear the bunch of clowns can be so bloody selfish sometimes, I'm sorry, I'm just angry right now.
My emotions are all messed up, and I haven't been sleeping well. Plus, the tournament finals being tomorrow doesn't really improve things that much. I'm stressed I think. I should go and practice some yoga or meditate, but that would require being around Kai, since he's stuck in my room. Jerk. I know nobody really knows about Kai and me, or rather our previous relationship, but I feel like my pain's being ignored, or maybe some god just hates me somewhere. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve this pain, probably do, I'm not sure what I did, but then again I'm not sure about a lot of things now. Will Kai betray us again? Are we even accepting him? I mean I know we all want him back, except for me, it's just too much, but is he really the captain again? Or will he abandon us again when we need him the most? Maybe I ought to understand where he's coming from more, afterall, I am supposed to be the level-headed one on this team, calm and peacekeeper-ish.
I think Kai can see my discomfort though. He's always been able to see through me, it doesn't seem fair sometimes. I think he feels bad, though he does not show it much. I can't believe how much I miss that bastard. It makes me giddy to remember how he held and touched me, but just pisses me off that I can't seem to get it in my head that he's just trouble, not worth it. It's like my head says one thing but my heart says another. Doesn't that sound cliché.
................
Oh shit! Kai just came out, he's going to find me. I'll write more later.
Kon Rei.
I looked down from my spot on the tree branch to see Kai looking up at me with a curious glance. That was usually my forte, it doesn't quite suit him, but he did look cute with that expression. Agh! Think angry thoughts! I am pissed off! I do not want anything to do with the jerk for as long as I live! But those eyes.... Aghhh! I'm driving myself insane! Kai seemed to notice the various expressions I must've been wearing, because he hopped up on the tree with me.
I looked at him. What was he doing?
He didn't seem to be able to conjure up any words of explanation, so I figured maybe he would if I asked.
"What do you want?" I spat out harsher than I wanted.
He looked down, but resumed his old emotionless expression.
"You should go back inside, you'll get sick."
"Whatever, since when do you care anyway?"
He winced, I almost felt bad, almost. Then I thought up something cruel.
"It's not like it matters. If I manage to freeze to death, maybe I can move on with some dignity and not have to deal with this shit anymore."
His eyes widened. I never usually played with suicidal thoughts like that, at least not out-loud.
Despite the remorse expression, it didn't look like he was going to apologize, I would've have bought that anyway. I don't see myself ever taking the bastard back. He hurt me and nobody, especially not him, will ever hurt me like that again. I will not let it happen. I can't bear it. It hurts too much. My head was starting to throb and I could feel the sniffles building up. I was going to be sick the next day, I knew it. My injuries I'd gotten from battle were still present, the doctors hadn't wanted to let me out but I insisted. Unfortunately, I also didn't know that getting sick, having to heal for that as well as healing for my injuries, would land me in the hospital the next day.
I carefully climbed out of the tree, dragging my crutches awkwardly, but getting the hang of it after a few fumbles. I hopped on the crutches towards the hotel room, leaving Kai out there. Maybe he's got an idea of how I've felt.
As I reached the door, my journal fell out of my sweater pocket, and I leant down to pick it up when another hand got there before I did. I caught Kai's gaze as he picked the little white notebook out of the fluffy snow. He handed the book to me gently, before opening the door for me. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and guilt, even though I should'nt have felt guilty in the least, it was more or less in my nature.
I glanced behind me as I hobbled down the corridor towards the elevator, catching Kai's intense crimson eyes on me. I blushed, but shook my head and glared at him. How dare he try to be all nice as if nothing happened! Selfish bastard! Selfish ..hot....passionate...sexy bastard. Dammit! I mentally smacked myself and decided if I thought up anymore 'unclean' thoughts, I would be sure to run out infont of the next passing bus in the street and hope for the best. With that, I headed towards my room.
~_~_~_~_~
My crutches laid up against the bed post, (I still needed them but would be off them pretty soon) and I idly wondered if they'd fall over and knock me out, then I would definitely be unable to think anymore. I just wanted to sleep, so tired.........
I'd been dreaming of something nice, a hot Russian with muscular biceps and abs (A/n: Mmm..lol wonder who that could be?) , when the bed shifted slightly. Too tired to care who it was, I shifted over and turned towards the wall. A sudden warmth covered my cold body, and I slept more soundly.
*~*~*
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
*~*~*
A/n: Continue? Comments please! Again, soooo sorry for the supremely long wait hehe. Hoped that made up. I'll update soon as I can! Ja.
P.S. THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND ENJOYED THE PREQUEL TO THIS, 'NUMB'! ^_^ YOU ALL ROCK!
Keisan