Disclaimer: THEY ARENT MINE! Ok? =D
A/N: Ok this is a sequel to "Finish Me Now." Its like a flash in time to the current episodes.
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He didn't have the guts, Fred that is. Now over two months later, I see that I don't either.
~**This world,
This world is cold**~
What was left of my job, family, and friend, just wasn't worth it anymore. Faith knew the true, she knew I shot her. I know truth too. And I hated it. I hated what I had done, and who I was, and what I saw everyday when I looked in the mirror.
~**But you don't
You don't have to go**~
I called in sick this morning, I just cant be there anymore, that place, it itches with memories and people who pretend to care, with their fake smiles and pats on the back. It makes me sick. I hope they don't send anyone to "check" on me, they always seem to do that, like calling in with a cold..they think your dying. Little did they know.
~**You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care**~
I thought about writing a note, ya' know for Ma, even Mikey..but decided not to. Too hard for them; too much hassle for me.
~**You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear**~
My gun? Its easier..pretty clean. I can see it in the papers now, "NYPD officer Boscorelli, eats his gun." Ha Ha.nah, wasn't my style.
~** But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through**~
I'm not sure anymore that I could really handle it, the last moments of life spent squatting on the bathroom floor just watching the blood flow from your veins. But still the cold little razor sat comfortably in my hand. And I don't want to be saved.
~** Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know**~
The first cut isn't deep, at least not deep enough to kill him. On my way through the third cut, the blood was pouring into the sink. I can't believe it came to this, I have seen so much of this on the streets and now..well the pain was numbing at least. It wasn't the same though, the same as I had caused other people, Faith in particular.
~** Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all**~
The doorbell rang. I jumped, and carelessly let the razor go too deep. Oh shit..
~** And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more**~
I threw the bloodied scrap of metal in the sink and with out a second thought and turned on the cold water. 'Maybe they would leave me alone', I thought as the blood ran into the drain, and continued to come from my wrist. JUST LEAVE!
~** But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through**~
They didn't leave though. I was getting dizzy, and the corners of my vision were getting darker, but I had no choice. Reaching up I grabbed the nearest washcloth on the rack, and wrapped it tightly around my arm, no time to fuss with gauze or cleaning it. I pulled my shirtsleeve down over the washcloth and ran to get the door. As fast as I could go with out falling over that is.
~** Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer**~
Standing there banging on the door was Cruz and her new little buddy, Sasha Monroe. I really didn't want to deal with this now, them, life, breathing, I just wanted it to stop spinning for a while, even just a few minutes and maybe I could get by. Plus, they were really getting on my nerves.
~** Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on**~
I feel the blood seeping through the towel, but still not enough to be shown.
"I called in sick, what, did Swerski send you?" I asked holding onto the door in attempts to stop my shaking.
"No, I ahh, I gotta talk to you." Cruz was talking but I barely saw her mouth move. I knew I was slipping, and I didn't want it to be known to them.
"Not now Cruz," I said slurring my words as I slammed the door in their face.
~** What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?**~
I didn't even bother to lock the door, but I couldn't stand anymore. I leaned over the armrest of my couch and fell backwards, the floor spinning underneath me.
I heard the click of the door as one of my 'colleagues' pushed open my door. I closed my eyes, and slowly faded, in an out. This wasn't how it was suppose to go down.
~** Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?**~
"Oh, Crap!" I don't know who said that, but what an understatement. The sounds were floating together, Cruz's voice, Monroe's, the sirens comin' down my street as a consequence of Cruz's radio. Damn, this sucks, then its black.
~** Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know**~
The funny thing is, I've been trying to hold on. And the last thing I hear before I let go, is Cruz's whisper in my ear.
~**Hold On**~
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TBC ok so I've been a little depressed lately and BOY did this help! I plan to continue the story fron this sequel, not the prologue called "Finish Me Now." The song used is "Hold On" by Good Charlotte.
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE!~~~REVIEW~
A/N: Ok this is a sequel to "Finish Me Now." Its like a flash in time to the current episodes.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
He didn't have the guts, Fred that is. Now over two months later, I see that I don't either.
~**This world,
This world is cold**~
What was left of my job, family, and friend, just wasn't worth it anymore. Faith knew the true, she knew I shot her. I know truth too. And I hated it. I hated what I had done, and who I was, and what I saw everyday when I looked in the mirror.
~**But you don't
You don't have to go**~
I called in sick this morning, I just cant be there anymore, that place, it itches with memories and people who pretend to care, with their fake smiles and pats on the back. It makes me sick. I hope they don't send anyone to "check" on me, they always seem to do that, like calling in with a cold..they think your dying. Little did they know.
~**You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care**~
I thought about writing a note, ya' know for Ma, even Mikey..but decided not to. Too hard for them; too much hassle for me.
~**You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear**~
My gun? Its easier..pretty clean. I can see it in the papers now, "NYPD officer Boscorelli, eats his gun." Ha Ha.nah, wasn't my style.
~** But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through**~
I'm not sure anymore that I could really handle it, the last moments of life spent squatting on the bathroom floor just watching the blood flow from your veins. But still the cold little razor sat comfortably in my hand. And I don't want to be saved.
~** Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know**~
The first cut isn't deep, at least not deep enough to kill him. On my way through the third cut, the blood was pouring into the sink. I can't believe it came to this, I have seen so much of this on the streets and now..well the pain was numbing at least. It wasn't the same though, the same as I had caused other people, Faith in particular.
~** Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all**~
The doorbell rang. I jumped, and carelessly let the razor go too deep. Oh shit..
~** And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more**~
I threw the bloodied scrap of metal in the sink and with out a second thought and turned on the cold water. 'Maybe they would leave me alone', I thought as the blood ran into the drain, and continued to come from my wrist. JUST LEAVE!
~** But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through**~
They didn't leave though. I was getting dizzy, and the corners of my vision were getting darker, but I had no choice. Reaching up I grabbed the nearest washcloth on the rack, and wrapped it tightly around my arm, no time to fuss with gauze or cleaning it. I pulled my shirtsleeve down over the washcloth and ran to get the door. As fast as I could go with out falling over that is.
~** Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer**~
Standing there banging on the door was Cruz and her new little buddy, Sasha Monroe. I really didn't want to deal with this now, them, life, breathing, I just wanted it to stop spinning for a while, even just a few minutes and maybe I could get by. Plus, they were really getting on my nerves.
~** Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on**~
I feel the blood seeping through the towel, but still not enough to be shown.
"I called in sick, what, did Swerski send you?" I asked holding onto the door in attempts to stop my shaking.
"No, I ahh, I gotta talk to you." Cruz was talking but I barely saw her mouth move. I knew I was slipping, and I didn't want it to be known to them.
"Not now Cruz," I said slurring my words as I slammed the door in their face.
~** What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?**~
I didn't even bother to lock the door, but I couldn't stand anymore. I leaned over the armrest of my couch and fell backwards, the floor spinning underneath me.
I heard the click of the door as one of my 'colleagues' pushed open my door. I closed my eyes, and slowly faded, in an out. This wasn't how it was suppose to go down.
~** Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?**~
"Oh, Crap!" I don't know who said that, but what an understatement. The sounds were floating together, Cruz's voice, Monroe's, the sirens comin' down my street as a consequence of Cruz's radio. Damn, this sucks, then its black.
~** Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know**~
The funny thing is, I've been trying to hold on. And the last thing I hear before I let go, is Cruz's whisper in my ear.
~**Hold On**~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
TBC ok so I've been a little depressed lately and BOY did this help! I plan to continue the story fron this sequel, not the prologue called "Finish Me Now." The song used is "Hold On" by Good Charlotte.
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE!~~~REVIEW~