They would offer James Tiberius Kirk the Enterprise. That is logical, in a way. The public is fond of him; they see him as a symbol of hope in such hard times. An entire planet was destroyed, that makes people feel unsafe and James T Kirk was a PERFECT poster boy. He was young, attractive and almost painfully charismatic. Not to offer him the flagship could mean lack of public interest and unrest in the civilian population. Naturally the Admiralty was concerned that he was not up to the task but honestly? He saved earth in a way no one could have done but him. It was foolish, it was brash and it was bordering on insane suicide. BUT it succeeded. It is a shame I shall not be there...to see what adventures (or misadventures) the crew goes through. I must rebuild my race, it is my duty.
"Father?"
"I am not our father"
Throughout that conversation I pondered. SHOULD I? The logic doesn't work! But he is right, well...I am right...I WANT to.
"Put aside logic" Yes, I suppose I am right.
"Good morning Admiral, you wished to see me?"
"I understand, due to recent events, that you will probably resign your commission. I will sign that off and give you any position you want if you wish to return"
"I have entered no such paperwork. I do not wish to resign my commission. I am HALF Vulcan, I cannot rebuild my race, and many would not wish it" he said relizing that the words were, in fact, truth. "Starfleet has lost much and I believe it would benefit from me retaining my commission and helping to rebuild the federation after so much loss."
"Oh..." the admiral said shocked."What position do you want?"
"Does the Enterprise have a..."
The admiral cut him off "it has a captain"
"I am no Captain, sir. I was enquiring as to if the Enterprise CAPTAIN has chosen a First Officer"
"He has not; he is, as yet, unaware of his position. And in fact, I do not think he would accept anyone's application. I expect he will ASK someone to be his first officer, or he will go on his first mission without one. Because we can't wait, as soon as repairs are finished the Enterprise will take off, many of our enemies are trying to use our loss as a way into our territory or a weakness to destroy more of our ships and bases"
"Understandable sir. I will personally request the captain to consider me for the appointment of First Officer."
"I...I don't think he would agree"
"Do you not?"
"Well, technically I'm not allowed to tell you who is the captain, but we are giving Cadet James..."
"Kirk the enterprise, yes. I am aware of that admiral"
"You are?"
"He is the logical choice"
"...right. You did not think that YOU would be promoted to Captain instead."
"If you had offered I would have refused."
"...why?"
"I am not...inventive enough to be captain."
"I see. If you had been offered, and you had declined, who would you have suggested?"
"Cadet James Tiberius Kirk has the most aptitude for captaincy out of any of the candidates."
"So if I had asked you now, who you think would be the BEST captain you would..."
"Yes I would say James Kirk. And I am aware that was one of the other reasons you wished to speak with me, you are not making a mistake. Although, if you are making James Kirk captain, you better have the best Doctor in Starfleet on the ship otherwise he will die within a month."
"...who would you suggest?"
"Doctor Leonard McCoy obtained CMO status after the original was killed during our first encounter with the Nerada. I believe that he would be the best candidate."
"Really? But he's never been CMO before?"
"He has extensive knowledge of alien and human anatomy and also provides an excellent deterrent for becoming ill"
The admiral laughed "alright. Pilot?"
"Lt. Hikaru Sulu."
"Navigator"
"Ensign Chekov"
"Communications?"
"Nyota Uhura."
"Chief Engineer"
"Montgomery Scott"
"Are you sure?"
"Do not be blinded by prejudice Admiral. He is an excellent engineer and has made several innovations to transporter technology." the admiral rose his eyebrow.
"Indeed" he said slightly acidly. "You do not wish to change the command crew from the one that was in place when the enterprise saved earth?"
"I do not, with the exception of myself; I wish to be first officer. That is the only change that need be made."
"I see...We were going to change the Navigations, Pilot and engineer."
"I would not do that if I was in your position."
"Chekov is SEVENTEEN"
"Indeed. And a very capable navigator. He is also very adept at physics and very advanced mathematics."
"But...he's SEVENTEEN"
"I believe the public would wish the command crew to stay the same, it would boost morale. They are a famous AND victorious team."
"I shall ask the other Admirals what they think" he said "Admiral Archer to the Admiralty office"
"Yes sir?"
"Ask the admirals to come to my office now; we have some pressing matters to discuss."
"Yes sir, at once sir"
"I shall leave you to your business Admiral."
"No commander, you stay here. They should here your explanations; some are not convinced we should give Kirk the flagship."
"Very well admiral. I shall stay. Although, I must inform you that if I cannot obtain the position as First Officer on the enterprise with James T Kirk as the captain I will not stay with Starfleet. I can assume that Lt. Uhura would not either, or Lt. Sulu. And Doctor McCoy definitely would not"
"DAMMIT, we really don't have a choice. I was hoping you would step up and ask for the Captaincy in front of the entire admiralty, in fact I EXPECTED IT."
"I would not make a worthy Captain."
"So you say" he muttered as the door opened
"Hello Admiral...commander." he said, confused when he saw Spock
"Good Morning Admirals" he said as the others walked in
"I have asked Commander Spock his opinion on the enterprise command team. He shall explain who he thinks, logically should have the jobs."
"Go ahead Commander" said one of the friendlier admirals
"The Captain of the enterprise should be someone the public views favorably, due to resent events. They should be calm in stressful situations and intuitive. I believe the best candidate to be Cadet James Tiberius Kirk"
"KIRK? I did not expect you to condone his actions"
"He saved this entire planet at great personal risk. If you will allow me to finish I will explain after I have stated the Individuals I believe should have these positions."
"Very well Spock, carry on"
"Thank you. I believe the chief Medical officer should be Dr Leonard McCoy. He obtained the position under extremely stressful conditions and performed excellently."
"An odd choice, not much of a bedside manner but one of the best doctors in the fleet, I suppose a logical choice."
"Pilot: Lt. Hikaru Sulu. He was brave and showed excellent reflexes and natural tendency for excellent intuitive choice."
"Young man, one of the highest in his class in Evasive maneuvers and tactical Piloting. Excellent choice, one we were going to chose anyway"
"Navigator: Ensign Pavel Chekov."
"He is young"
"But calm in a crisis, shows remarkable intellect, especially in mathematical subjects. Proved to be a most Valuable crewmember."
"Very well. Communications?"
"I recommend one of my Students. Nyota Uhura shows excellent linguistic abilities and a natural and quick pick up of new languages. Diplomatic skills are also excellent."
"Very well. Now one we haven't chosen. Chief engineer?"
"Lt. Montgomery Scott. He saved the enterprise and made several important discoveries, namely the equation for transwarp beaming."
"Yes, however, Admiral Archer was against him staying in that position"
"Commander Spock has offered excellent advice that I would chose to take" archer said
"I see. Well then, who would be the first officer?"
"I believe it would be better for James Kirk to choose. However I wish to apply to him for the position."
"You...you do? Are you not resigning your commission?"
"If I obtain this position I will stay on the enterprise as long as I am convinced that whatever captain is commanding the ship is capable. At this time I shall stay with the ship if I am able to get the position."
"We will discuss this, but wait, commander?"
"Yes sir?"
"What is your motivation for suggesting that we give James Kirk the position?"
"You would have given it to him without my approval, but it removes some doubts you may have had, and I am convinced that no other captain or admiral would have been able to successfully execute the destruction of the Nerada. With possible exception of Captain Pike, however he would not have done it in the same way"
"We have reviewed all security footage on the enterprise. You almost killed Kirk after he insulted your mother to gain command."
"He was acting under my orders at the time; I was, as of that time, unaware of his knowledge"
"We are aware of the...euh...other? Spock's existence, but we were unaware that he had met with Kirk"
"I am not entirely sure of how they encountered each other, but Kirk would not have taken over the enterprise without my advice"
"I see. Well then, now that we have that cleared up." one admiral said awkwardly
"Admirals, I have things I wish to attend to. I wish that you would consider the personnel I have put forward for those positions. I doubt Cadet Kirk would allow the team to be changed without some sort of fight."
"True, we had not considered that."
"Admirals, if you could, possibly delay the choosing of a First officer for until the enterprise's day of departure. I have some things I need to attend to. I have to go to my mother's memorial service, my father has opted for that to be in Canada, so I will not be in San Francisco to submit my candidacy until the day you make cadet Kirk the captain of the enterprise."
"How do you know what day?"
"I do not, I shall only return that day. So I would appreciate it if you tell me when the ceremony shall be so I may make return arrangements"
"Of course, you are the only Vulcan left in the fleet; we will allow you some time to grieve"
"Thank you admiral, I appreciate your helpfulness"
"We are making Kirk a captain and giving him a medal in exactly 2 weeks. The ship leaves 2 days after that"
"I doubt any one will TRY and become his first officer when it gets around you want the job"
The eyebrow went up "indeed" the admiral winced slightly, and then Spock left.
Paying tribute to his mother was harder than he thought "it must not even compute for you. You NEVER loved her" kept playing through his head, taunting him. Even though on the journey back to earth Kirk had apologized sincerely, explaining that "someone" had told him that he needed to be captain, and he couldn't risk earth being destroyed. And Kirk said one thing "I know you loved her". The words still haunted him, because he thought, maybe that his mother had thought that of him. Finally he asked his father
"Is it wrong to love?"
"I do not believe so."
"Do you believe that mother knew...knew that I loved her"
"There is no doubt in my mind that she knew. You never told her, but she knew. She always knew."
"Thank you father"
"Are you certain you wish to return to Starfleet?"
"I am not welcome among those of full Vulcan blood. I cannot deny that. I believe I can help others affected by this and other issues better by staying in the Fleet."
"I agree...We have someone who is, a lot like you and willing to help"
"That must be strange for you; I had not thought he had revealed to you his identity."
"Well...I was in turn unaware that you knew of his existence, I assumed that you did not"
"I believe that due to him helping the surviving Vulcan's I can go and remain with Starfleet."
"Very well Spock. Your mother would have been proud."
"Father, I do not wish to disrespect mother, however I need to be back in San Francisco to see the ceremony announcing the Captain of the Enterprise"
"Will you be the captain?"
"I do not believe so. I would not accept such a position"
"Indeed?"
"The Starfleet member they have chosen is capable."
"Very well, I do not believe that your mother would have been upset that you went back, when do you need to leave?"
"Only 2 days before I had originally planned. And if I do not achieve the position I wish to obtain I shall return and go with you to the Vulcan colony."
"Very well my son, I wish you the best of luck. I need to meditate long over your mother's death, I will not see you. Contact me as soon as you can"
"Yes father"
"Thank you Spock, you saved our culture."
"It was not me; I shall thank the person responsible when I next encounter him."
"Very well. Goodbye."
My conversation with my father confused me, yet comforted me in a way. My culture may tell me that love should be repressed, but if I feel love for someone I WILL tell them, I cannot have the pain of not knowing if they knew if I lose them. I cannot do that to myself. I may be Vulcan, but even Vulcan's have done it, like my father. If I love, and feel, I am still Vulcan. But I shall repress those emotions I see no need for.
He stayed there until it was time for the ceremony then got himself transported to the ceremony. He watched with a small smile on his face as James Tiberius Kirk was given a medal and captaincy, he hadn't even technically graduated. After the ceremony he made arrangements to see Admiral Archer.
"Good Afternoon Admiral."
"Hello Spock. Are you still wishing to serve on the Enterprise?"
"Yes, however only if I am accepted as first officer."
"We have made you Science Officer as well. We lack the personnel and you are the logical choice, can you handle all that work?"
"I believe I am able to do that work."
"Excellent. He won't see the personnel list until tomorrow, everyone has been asked to report to the Enterprise and hour before you leave the space dock, to make sure all systems are working and so he has time to get used to the crew. You shall get a transport after all the crew"
"Why?"
"Because, we sorta want him to be surprised, and we are assuming he will say yes."
"He may not"
"I'm betting he will"
"Why?"
"Because very soon after the ceremony he came to the Admirals and asked who was serving as his First Officer. We told him that we lost too many command crews to assign him one so he would have to leave without one. We insinuated that you would not be in Starfleet anymore, well in a very very subtle way. I said "Many of the command personnel have been injured or have had family losses, so they do not wish to return" his face fell and he said "thank you admirals for your support and belief in me. When will we leave orbit?"
"Tomorrow, the crew will get their assignments today and the transport to the space dock will be at 0900 hours."
"Thank you, who is the Pilot, navigator, communications, CMO?"
"Calm down son, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekov, Nyota Uhura and Leonard McCoy"
He smiled brilliantly. "I was under the impression that you thought Chekov was too young and that McCoy too grumpy"
"You must have ears in the Admiralty"
"Maybe I do, what changed your minds?"
"An experienced officer made some recommendations and so did Pike"
"I'll go thank him. Who was the other officer?"
"That's a secret, he may tell you"
"He, well that's a clue"
"DAMMIT"
Jim ran off to talk to Pike
"Hey Chris, thanks heaps for the crew recommendations."
"Did they end up giving you Chekov and McCoy?"
"Yes, thanks, do you know who else gave that recommendation?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of pissed they took his advice more seriously than mine, but I guess it makes sense"
"Who was it?"
"OH, I didn't know you didn't know. Sorry can't tell you. Admiralty wants you to be...surprised."
"Right... I'm confused. But I got to go tell bones he got the job"
"Go ahead."
"Thanks mate"
"BONES" he said excitedly "bones bones bones bones"
"WHAT?" bones said angrily "yeah it's GREAT your captain. Now shut up"
"You got the job!"
"What job?"
"YOU ARE THE CMO ON MY SHIP!"
"You're shitting me"
"Nope, you so are."
"How the hell did you manage that?"
"Pike recommended you, and so did someone else but I don't know who"
"Wow, holy shit."
"I know right, I got to go tell Chekov and Sulu"
"Aww shit, they are assigned to the enterprise?"
"Yeah, isn't that great"
"That kid never shuts up! He's amazing but so annoying!"
"You'll deal with it bones. You deal with me"
"You have a point there. Chekov is there, Sulu next to him"
"SULU!"
"Oh my god! Hey Jim, I mean Captain"
"Jim is fine. You'll never guess Sulu"
"What?"
"You are the Pilot of the Enterprise!"
"OH MY GOD! But wait...what about Pavel?"
"Sorry Sulu...Pavel is the Navigator"
"OH MY GOD! CHEKOV?"
"What is it Sulu"
"You are the ENTERPRISE'S NAVIGATOR!"
"Do not make fun of me Hikaru, it wery unkind"
"He isn't making fun of you ensign, you are indeed the Navigator"
"CAPTAIN, sorry I did not see you there"
"Congratulations Gentlemen" he said smiling as he walked away. He spotted Uhura alone in a corner and he walked quietly up to her
"Lt.?"He said, knowing using her name would piss her off
"Oh... hi...captain?"
"Yeah. I just wanted to tell you myself that they have giving you the position of Communications Officer...on the Enterprise" he said quietly
"I...the ENTERPRISE?"
"Yeah, I mean...if you have a problem with that I can ask for you to be put on any other ship"
"No, thank you"
"I...would you mind telling someone something for me?"
"Sure. Whatever it is"
"I just wanted you to tell Spock that...that I'm sorry"
"Spock?"
"Yeah, I figure you would see him and I know I won't"
"Well, actually I won't see him. We aren't together anymore, he's lost a lot and I can't give him what he needs"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Fuck! Sorry didn't mean to open up a sore or anything. Ah FUCK"
"Don't worry Captain. Seriously, it's harder than I thought to go out with a Vulcan, plus I assumed he would have to go to the colony and...Euh...reproduce"
"Yeah, I assume that is what he will do. It's logical. I wish he would have considered staying. I don't have a first officer you know"
"You don't? Isn't that illegal or something?"
"Technically yes, but a lot of people have left Starfleet and we lost a lot of instructors and people with Commander Status."
"Yeah, I guess we have"
"Lt.?"
"Yes Jim?"
"I just wanted to apologize; I was a jerk, a massive jerk. All through the academy and most of the Nero Mission. I shouldn't have taken control of the ship. And...You probably won't see him but if you do please tell him I'm sorry." he said uncharacteristic tears in his eyes I will not cry, he said to himself. IM A CAPTAIN DAMMIT!
"Yeah I will." she said
James Tiberius Kirk left the celebrations early. Uhura saw him go, she knew he felt guilty about a lot of things, he may even blame the destruction of Vulcan on himself. A minute after he left Spock walked quietly in. Uhura went straight up to him
"Hello commander"
"Hello lt."
"Are you well?"
"I am adequate thank you. I am looking for Captain Kirk?"
"He just left. He was looking for you, he asked me to tell you something because he doesn't expect to see you"
"Indeed?"
"He asked me to tell you that, and I quote, he is "so sorry" I believe he almost cried. I don't know why"
"He did what?"
"Well he informed me of my position aboard the enterprise and then he asked me to tell you that he is sorry, I don't know what for. He didn't say, and then he started tearing up, and then left quickly."
"I shall go and see if he is alright, but do not tell him I was here, I will not announce myself to him. I have a feeling that I shall see you soon." he said cryptically in a VERY Vulcan way
"Alright then" she said confused
Spock walked quietly and quickly away. Outside his sensitive ears picked up a quiet sobbing coming from the parkland near the building. Sitting under a tree he saw Captain James T Kirk, crying. He was shocked. He stayed close. Kirk was talking to himself, in a non crazy way.
"Captains don't cry. Don't cry. Can't cry. It's gone, he won't come back. But Vulcan is gone. GONE, it won't come back. I never said sorry. Have to say sorry." Spock felt he was intruding on something and quietly slipped away. He found Doctor McCoy and came up behind him.
"Doctor?"
"HOLY SHIT" he exclaimed. "Oh...Spock, what the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to congratulate Captain Kirk, I found he was not here, I consulted with Lt. Uhura and found that he left so I went to find him. He is in the park under a tree...I believe he is upset. I did not talk to him; please do not mention that I was here"
"Euh...ok. Listen, thanks. For telling me where he is, this has been hard on him"
"Not a problem doctor, if you would follow me I shall show you were he is"
"Thanks" they walked in silence to where Jim was. Then Spock retreated away deciding to stay long enough to ensure that James Kirk was alright.
"Jim..."
"Shit. Bones!"
"What the fuck? Are you CRYING?" he asked
"Um...no?"
"Aww kid, what's wrong?"
"It's just so hard, so much pressure, so much I could have done, so much I wish I hadn't done. But I had to; he told me I had to. Did not want to. He should have let me die."
"Whatever you are talking about, it's ok, not your fault. Come on; let's get you to your room"
"Thanks Bones, thank god no one else saw me" he said calming down on the outside
"Yes..."McCoy said awkwardly. Spock found himself feeling illogically worried about his possibly future captain...strange.
Spock went back to his temporary quarters and packed his belongings before having them transported to the Enterprise if he was accepted as First officer. He had little left, the only things he wished to take were things his mother made for him, or gave to him. And a picture of him when he was accepted into Starfleet in his cadet uniform with his mother smiling proudly. He allowed himself to smile slightly. He meditated for a while then fell asleep.
The next day he waited until the last transport of the morning to go to the space dock. He wasn't worried...he's Vulcan, Vulcan's don't worry! He walked briskly onto the bridge to the astonishment of Captain Kirk.
Captain Kirk allowed him to become first officer, HE SAID YES. Of course this didn't make him happy, happiness is an emotion, and Vulcan's have no emotions. Etc. etc.
After that Alpha shift Captain Kirk went up to Spock "hey, look do you want to have dinner with me?"
"That would be agreeable Captain. Is there something you wish to discuss?"
"Yeah, a few things"
"I shall be there"
"2000"
"That would be agreeable. Thank you Captain"
Spock wondered what Kirk would possibly want to talk about. At 2000 he went to the captain's quarters.
"Enter"
"Good evening Captain"
"Yeah, you can call me Jim Spock"
"Alright...Jim"
"Sit down. I...I just wanted to say sorry. I really wasn't expecting to see you at all. I would have thought that...that you would be helping your father?"
"Technically I am"
"You what?"
"I am helping my father, and I am also here. Very convenient."
"Wait, you know about that, him, you?"
"Yes, I do"
"But you said, he said that I couldn't tell you. Said I had to emotionally compromise you. I didn't want to, you told me to"
"I assume that is what you wished to apologize about"
"Yes and other things. I...I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough to save your Planet. I'm not trying to be a dick by bringing it up. I just want to say sorry. I'm sorry I insulted your mother. I had to, he said I had to"
"I am aware of that James, you need not apologize"
"I didn't see you at the ceremony yesterday; I thought you wouldn't stay with Starfleet"
"My counterpart told me that I should do what I felt to be right. So I did"
"Meddling bastard. Sorry Spock"
"No offense taken, he is not entirely me"
"Yeah"
"In fact, I was at the ceremony"
"You what?"
"I was there, I came as you left"
"You saw me leave"
"I did not. Lt. Uhura saw you leave and I enquired after you and she told me you had left. So, logically I went to find you"
"OH god, you didn't find me did you? Please tell me you didn't"
"Lt. Uhura was concerned for your wellbeing so I went to find you. Once I had determined that you were near to the building I fetched Dr McCoy."
"Fuck you did see me. GOD"
"Yes, I did. I am sorry; I did not wish to intrude"
"No it's alright. Just that captains are not supposed to cry"
"Yes you mentioned that"
"WHAT? I said something to you"
"Not entirely. You were distressed and said something, it was not entirely coherent"
"No shit"
"I was not permitted to talk to you at that time. So I got the doctor, who was probably more welcome that I would have been"
"Why were you not permitted to talk?"
"Admiral Archer decided he wanted to, I believe the term is "let you stew"?"
"Ah, I see. So you had applied for the First officer's position before that?"
"No, I told them I wished to obtain that position, they gave me the position of science officer and I told them that I would not serve with you unless you accepted me as first."
"Really?"
"Yes. They seemed certain that you would accept"
"I bet they were hoping. They need someone to keep me in line"
"No, they were under the impression that I was going to resign my commission"
"Wouldn't that be the logical thing to do?"
"Recently I have decided that in some situations logic in itself is illogical for me"
"...right?"
"Meaning that something that for you would be logical for me would not be. For many of my race complete emotional repression is LOGICAL. For me however, repressing, and in turn NOT expressing some strong emotions is too painful."
"Yeah I understand what you mean"
"May I ask a personal query?"
"Yeah, anything"
"How can you tell that someone loves you?"
"I'm sorry Spock, but I don't know. I haven't ever had anyone love me all that much"
"But surely your mother? Brother?"
"My mother wasn't around enough to love me; to me I was just torture, a reminder of her dead husband. My brother loved me enough to protect me for a time but it got too much. He left." sadness plagued Jim's usually bright eyes "Actually I can tell you. You can tell because they care, they ask you if you are alright, if you're not they sit and talk with you, they protect you even if it's from yourself and they want to spend time with you, they want to know more about you. I guess that's a friendship sort of love. That is the only love I've ever known. I wish I could answer your question better, but I can't. Ask Bones, he has a kid, and an Ex-wife. Only love I've ever known is friend type love"
"I am sorry, I did not wish to cause you pain"
"Nah it's ok. Seriously. You have to get me back somehow"
"Get you back?"
"For insulting your mum, it's a human thing; like you call me names I'll call you names. That kind of shit"
"I believe that you insulting me about my mother was in fact you getting me back"
"ME getting you back for what?"
"Oh I don't know? Insulting your late father and his sacrifice, or stranding you on an ice planet"
"Nah, I never knew my dad. And you saved me from some big ass monster shit thing down there anyways"
"My alternate self did not mention that. Care to explain?"
"Well, I got out of the pod and started walking, cause LIKE HELL I was gonna wait. So anyways I was walking and something tried to eat me, but something bigger killed it and I don't know, thought something as small as me would make a better meal? so IT came after me, I fell down an ice cliff hill thing...and it ran after me into a cave, it got its tongue around my ankle then you came in with a torch of fire and scared it off. Then freaked the fuck out of me saying "James t Kirk" I was like excuse me? Then he went the I'm Spock I was like "bullshit" so he did some freaky Vulcan thing to tell me about what happened and how Nero got there" he explained
"WAIT!"Freaky Vulcan thing"? What did he do?"
"He put his hands on my face like this" he said doing it to Spock "and said "our minds one and together" or some shit like that"
"He did a MIND MELD with YOU?" he asked as incredulously as a Vulcan could
"Yeah, I got the impression he did it a lot. To the other me."
"A mind meld is very personal. He would have been able to read all of your thoughts. And you his"
"He only let me see what he wanted me to see"
"That is still very personal. You saw his memories, and in turn he would have seen yours. All of yours seeing as you have no mind shielding"
"Not like I have anything to hide from you Spock. Everyone knows everything about my life. And I wasn't THINKING about the few things I don't tell anyone."
"Not just thoughts Jim. EMOTIONS"
"Well fuck! It doesn't matter; he already knows the other Kirk's emotions and shit. It's no different"
"Are you saying that your counterpart was exactly the same as you are?"
"I got a brief image of him; he looked a bit older than me, and a bit shorter. He had different eyes. You had a random thought at the beginning of the meld; it was sorta soft, like a whisper. You said "wrong color, not my Jim"" Jim shrugged
"Those were my counterpart's EXACT words?"
"Yeah, I remember it pretty clear."
"Hmm, I must discuss this invasion of privacy with him"
"Don't worry about it Spock, I didn't go searching through your head"
"That is not what I was worried about."
"Right... OK then. What did you do in your time off on earth?"
"I went with my father to Canada. For my mother's memorial. How did you spend your time?"
"I was in hospital for a bit"
"HOSPITAL? Why?"
"Concussion and some throat injuries a couple of broken ribs, fractured knuckle. Romulans are god dam painful to punch" he added the last part under his breath
"Throat injuries?" Spock said wincing slightly
"Not from you, well not ENTIRELY from you"
"You were choked by how many beings?"
"One Vulcan and two Romulans. Man Nero was a fucked up bitch"I know your face from earth's history. James Kirk was considered a great man and went on to captain the enterprise. A destiny I will deprive you of just like I did your father" yeah thanks bastard that TOTALLY shows you aren't a psychopath. I mean jeeze can't you just kill me without the monologue shit. Anyways you saved me from that one. Getting that ship out."
"You seem to be a magnet for fights with species that have at least double your physical strength. How did you even break loose from the third?"
"He wasn't very smart. Left me my hands free you see and he had a gun in his belt. Like I said...not smart "your species is weaker than I expected, look you can't even speak. What was that" "I got your gun" hahahaha, James Tiberius Kirk wins again."
"I see. I fail to understand how such a naturally gifted, intelligent GENIUS by human standards. Manages to get into so many life threatening situations"
"People hate me"
"I disagree."
"Come on, you hated me. Hopefully don't anymore. But you did."
"I admit I disliked you. Mostly out of jealousy"
"Jealousy? What do I have that you don't?"
"You are welcomed in society, no one forces you to do things you do not wish to do"
"I guess it would be hard for you. I…there's a lot of shit that people don't know about my life. Classified file and shit."
"You have a classified file?"
"Yeah, I do. I've never read it. But I know what it says"
"Would it be inappropriate for me to enquire as to the contents of the file?"
Jim sighed "I don't tell people about it, Bones doesn't know, but I guess he will now, CMO gets into all my medical files so he knows everything now."
"Am I permitted a guess?"
"Yeah, go ahead. You won't get it"
"You were physically, possibly sexually abused as a child"
"I…how? Yeah I was I'm sorta over that now. That wasn't what I was talking about"
"If you do not wish to talk about what you are keeping from me that is acceptable. I can understand your wish for people's ignorance."
"What was your childhood like?"
"Truthfully…it would have seemed rather uneventful and boring for a human. Except a few events. I was taunted by my peers on a regular basis. I reacted negatively due to a comment made about my mother, and my father's loyalty to Vulcan tradition for marrying her"
"Ah…"
"I was tormented a lot; however I surpassed the expectations of my peers and my instructors and was accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy "
"Then how come you aren't there? You joined Starfleet didn't you?"
"I did. I refused the offer to enter into the Science Academy and was accepted into Starfleet Academy"
"You…refused?"
"Yes, I did."
"Wow, rebel" Jim said impressed
"Indeed, it was seen as a rebellious act, it was not. Then insinuated that because of my heritage it was surprising that I was intelligent enough to gain entry, they saw it as a disadvantage. I saw that, logically, I would never fit into Vulcan society, so I left. My mother was happy for me, my father was disappointed"
"Wow, people really should stop insulting you; it doesn't end well for them. From personal experience"
"Indeed."
"Thanks for opening up and talking to me. I know I'm a dickhead most of the time, but I try to be good, I WANT to be a good captain. "
"I believe you will achieve everything that you wish to." Spock said sincerely
"Thank you and I'm sorry in advance if I say something that offends you. I don't usually mean it"
"At times, I believe I can be…abrupt by human standards, however I do not intend offense to be taken. It is just my way, so in turn I hope you would not take offense to what I may state"
"Of course I wouldn't, but there are some things that you shouldn't ever mention in front of me"
"What would those be?"
"My father, my mother, my stepfather (unless you WANT to be hurt, or for me to break something) and don't ever ever ever ever mention execution style killings. Please."
"Of course, I apologize. And I will not question you on these matters unless it is absolutely necessary."
"Thank you Spock. Really…thank you"
"I would appreciate you not mentioning my mother, for a time. It is still painful. The loss of Vulcan is as well, if you would be able to avoid those topics, please do"
"Of course, but understand something"
"What would that be?"
"I understand what it's like…to lose what you love." He said quietly, pain evident in every word "I'm not saying that I've been through anything to the extent you have, but…you need to know that I understand. I grieve with thee" he said using the traditional Vulcan term.
Spock was shocked
"I thank thee"
"Uhura to captain Kirk"
"Kirk here"
"We have received new orders from Starfleet"
"Put them through to my quarters"
"Done captain"
"Thank you lt." he said stopping the communication "sorry Mr. Spock, I'll just be a second"
"Very well"
"Admiral Barnett, what are our new orders?" Jim asked getting straight to the point
"New Vulcan needs supplies and a medical team to deal with the problems arising from the destruction of Vulcan. We are sending you, because, as our flagship you can show the depth of the fedaration's concern and sorrow for the people, while showing to any people who would wish to finish what Nero started that the federation will defend the race"
"Is there any indication of violent intent?"
"No, none at all. Romulus has asked for peace talks, horrified at what Nero did, they want you to be the ones to talk to them, along with 3 other starships, they have promised not to bring any warships. I believe they are sincere, but it will take a while to set everything up, and many people in the federation are against the idea at the moment."
"I think that maybe if you talk to the people, tell them the need for peace, and give them some of the tape from the enterprises talks with Nero. Specifically the one where he said "we do not speak for the empire, we stand apart" I think that would help."
"Would you be willing to talk to the people?"
"…me..?"
"Yes you, you are the hero. Although I would like Commander Spock to do the same, because he represents the people worst affected by this."
"I will not speak for him. I do not want publicity, but if it will help bring peace, I WILL do it."
"Talk to him about it."
"I will, but I promise nothing"
"Of course. I think your idea is good, the tapes would prove the empire's claims of not being involved, and it would show the people that he was just…"
"A fucked up psychopath intent on universal domination?"
"Exactly" Barnett said smiling slightly
"I thank you Admiral, where are we to pick up the supplies and extra medical personnel?"
"Star Base 12, the medical personnel are already on New Vulcan, but they need a supervising physician for some of the more serious injuries, they just aren't qualified."
"Who is going to be doing that?"
"You're CMO received the best test scores in the federation and he is also sorta trained in psychology, he would be the supervisor"
"How long will we be staying in orbit?"
"Around a month, maybe more, depending on how long the Vulcan council wants you. They also said something about thanking you, Commander Spock and the entire enterprise crew for what you did for them"
"Oh great, just what I need. MORE publicity"
"Grin and bear it Captain."
"Yeah yeah, I know."
"And captain?"
"Yes admiral?"
"Your father would have been proud"
Jim flinched barely noticeably and said with a fake smile "thank you Admiral. I should get going, tell my crew of the change and all that"
"Excellent, call me later if there are any problems"
"Yeah, oh…Is Admiral Pike okay?"
"Yeah, he's better, the doctors have almost finished with his treatment and he will be out of the wheelchair, although, he won't ever be in the same physical health he was before"
"That is sad, once he is recovered can you ask him to call me?"
"Of course"
"Thanks, anyways, I have to go. Goodbye Admiral"
"Goodbye captain Kirk"
He cut the communication and punched a wall, completely forgetting that Spock was standing in the other room. Spock heard the sound and rushed in to the room
"Captain? Are you ok?"
"We have new orders. Are…are you going to be okay with going to New Vulcan. I'm not trying to be a dick by bringing it up"
"I will be able to complete the mission."
"Excellent…I'm sorry to have to ask you this but the Admiralty wants you to speak to the public on behalf of Starfleet, to help get them become accustomed to the idea of peace with Romulus"
"I will do it. My personal discomfort is a reasonable price for peace. Too many have died."
"Thank you"
"Why did you punch the wall?"
"Admiral Barnett talked about my father, said that he would be proud of me. But he wouldn't be…I basically pissed on his sacrifice my whole life. My mother died inside whenever she saw me, I ruined her life. That isn't something to be proud of. I'm no hero. I drove a car off a cliff, drove my brother away, almost drove her into madness, and probably did."
"Captain. I do not know how to comfort you. I wish I knew, I am unable to understand HOW. All I can state are facts. You saved 6 BILLION lives, more you jumped off a platform to save a friend and almost died, if you had not disabled the drill, my culture would have been doomed."
"That was strangely comforting Spock. Thanks." He said then brought out his communicator "Kirk to bridge"
"Chekov here."
"Change course to Star Base 12."
"Yes sir"
"I'll be up in a sec. to explain"
"Thank you keptain"
"Kirk out"
Jim sighed, this mission was going to be hard for Spock
"Look Spock, if you need anything, time off or more work or anything. Ask."
"I shall, during our time on New Vulcan I request that I beam down and talk to the council, my father and my counterpart. There are things I need to discuss with them"
"Of course, is it weird to have someone who is you but not you around?"
"I admit that it is a strange phenomenon"
"Would it bother you if I talked to him? Just he needs support, he lost his universe and his home in the same day, and he sort of already knows me. You know, it might be…comforting for him"
Spock thought for a few moments "I admit, I had not thought of his discomfort. I did not imagine that losing his reality, his universe, would be so distressing. But now that you mention it, it must be difficult. He told me that you were friends in his universe. So logically your communication WOULD comfort him if he was in need of it"
"I didn't mean to imply anything about your emotions. I just know that, because of what happened it might be hard for HIM to deal with it in the way he would wish"
" I understand captain, I believe I would not mind if you contacted him"
"Thanks Spock"
"You, captain, are not a typical human. You care about many people." He said
"Euh…thanks? SHIT I better go, need to tell the crew about the change"
"I shall accompany you to the bridge"
"Cool" Jim said and walked briskly to the bridge
"Sorry I'm late Chekov. Okay get McCoy and all the command crew up here, we got a new mission"
"Yes sir"
They all gathered on the bridge
"Okay everyone, I'm sorry if I interrupted anything but we received new orders. We are going to star base 12 to pick up supplies for New Vulcan. We are to help with the building and remain in orbit for a while to show anyone wanting to kick them when they are down that they can't do that. Also, bones, they have requested medical aid for people injured as a result of the Nero incident and you are to be the supervising physician because your knowledge of xenobiology is better than anyone's. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be happy to help" Bones said
"Thanks. Everyone else okay with this?"
"Well, does it matter if we aren't?" Uhura said
"Well I like to have my crew's opinions, make sure your okay with things." Jim shrugged
"I'm fine with this mission" Sulu said, impressed that Jim was asking for their opinions
"I think it is a wery important mission keptain, I am also happy with this mission" Chekov said
"Aye, 'm fine with it lady, but it's not a very exiting mission" Scotty said, slightly disappointed
"Yeah, I know, but it IS important. You're engineering skills probably won't be needed though"
"I don't mind that captain, there is always something I need to do on the ship"
"Good. Thanks everyone, Uhura, can you get me a ship wide communication?"
"Sure thing"
"Thanks"
"This is Captain Kirk, we have new orders to pick up supplies at star base 12 and then go to the new Vulcan colony to aid the people there. It is classified as very low risk and every person will at some time be asked to assist the population in one way or another. I expect you all to treat them with the utmost respect, and please refrain from touching them in any way. Sorry to disturb you, if you have any questions regarding the mission discuss it with me, or your head of department. Kirk out"
"That was surprisingly diplomatic Jim" bones said
"Gee, thanks bones"
"Not a problem, I know Vulcans don't like to be touched. Spock?"
"Yes doctor?"
"Will it be acceptable for me to touch them while I treat them?"
"Of course, you must in order to do your job"
"Good, just checking. I don't want to offend anyone"
"Your concern is very kind doctor"
"Yeah, well it's my job"
"Indeed"
"Everyone who's not supposed to be on shift, move out of the bridge" Jim said
Everyone moved away and the beta crew replaced them
" Captain?"
"Yes Spock?"
"Do you believe that the colony is in any danger?"
"Definitely not, but if you are worried, you could call your father and ask"
"Indeed. I shall do so. You may also wish to call my counterpart. He may be more honest with you if there are in fact any issues"
"What time is it on New Vulcan?"
"Around 0700"
"Okay, I'll give him a call soon"
"Thank you captain."
"No problem. Get some rest Spock"
"Very well captain"
"Goodnight" Jim said. He seemed slightly distracted as he walked into his quarters. He sat thinking for a while, wondering if Spock Prime would be bothered by a call from him but then he mentally shook himself, since when did he care if others felt uncomfortable.
He emailed the ambassador because he didn't know how to call him, Prime called him back almost instantly surprising Jim
"Hello Jim"
"Euh… hi, I hope I'm not bothering you?"
"Not at all my friend" he said, eyes soft and his lips formed an almost smile
"The enterprise is bringing supplies to New Vulcan and staying for a while to show Starfleet's support for you guys and to deter anyone who wants to attack you when you are weaker than usual. I was just wondering how the colony is doing and whether there is any indication of follow up attacks or any spiteful violence directed at your people"
"Not at all, we are in no danger"
"Do you believe that Romulus will honor a peace agreement if we make one?"
"Yes, they weren't affiliated with Nero at all. And I feel that they are more horrified at the destruction than we are, because it was done by someone from their planet."
"Good, I think we are coming more to ensure that you guys feel secure after all that has happened. And Barnett mentioned that the council wanted to talk to me"
"I believe the council pulled a few strings, to coin a human phrase, to get you to come. They do indeed wish to speak with you, and I agree that subconsciously many Vulcans are afraid for our safety after what happened"
"Hmm, I hope that we can help…I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I was wondering if you are okay? You, not my Spock"
"Your Spock?" Prime thought to himself "fascinating, perhaps there is something there already"
"I admit, I am distressed by Vulcan's destruction, it was partly my doing. Because I failed."
"I'm so sorry. It's not your fault. I was also referring to the fact that you were taken from your own universe, you must miss it"
"There was nothing left there. Nothing left for me to miss. My father and mother were both dead in my time. I had no children, no partner. In my timeline you were dead, all of my friends from the enterprise were."
"I'm sorry, I…I thought that you had a Fiancée, well, in my timeline you DID. But Vulcan was destroyed along with her"
"Ah…T'Pring, she was indeed my betrothed, but she refused to marry me. She married Stonn instead, and in doing so almost made me kill your counterpart"
"I don't get it..?"
"It is not something I will explain to you, but if Spock ever begins to act…emotional, specifically angry. If he asks to come to New Vulcan, you MUST allow him to."
"Of course. If he asked for something I would do it"
"Good. It is strange, to see you. I have not seen you in a long time. I know you, yet I do not know you."
"Yeah, I'm so sorry. That I can't be more like him. I've seen from your mind what he was like…that's not me, it's kind of like my father. I'll always be in his shadow" Jim said sadly
"You are not him, but you are. You are a hero already, before my captain even became a commander"
"Hero…I hear that word every fucking day, I'm no hero Spock. You did most of the work"
" I do not believe that is the case."
"FINE! I'm not him you know"
"Your counterpart…he had a hard childhood"
"LIKE I DIDN'T?"
"I know nothing of your childhood. Have you ever heard of Tarsus IV?"
Jim paled "I was there"
"Ah, well then you are much like him. Are you one of the Tarsus Nine?"
"Yes" he whispered.
"I am sorry James"
"Not a problem. Well your Jim was less fucked up than I am. He certainly never had a stepfather"
"He did not, how is that relevant?"
"Frank…he was a motherfucker, psychopathic, sadistic son of a BITCH!"
"What did he do to you?"
"He was gonna sell my dad's car, old 1960's corvette. Beautiful car, I stole it and drove it off a cliff. He'd hit me before that, but that time…he almost killed me. He said that I had fallen down the stairs. Who the fuck believes that?After I got out of hospital, she still wasn't there. Never was. So he did what he wanted with me" he said bitterly
"He did what!" Prime asked in a angry Vulcan voice
"Like hell I'm going to EXPLAIN what he did!"
"Please say he did not" Spock said, his voice constricted in a mixture of fear and deep sadness
"You've been in my head, why don't you think…maybe you saw it in their"
Prime sat going through everything he had gotten from the mind meld, there had been one image that flittered to the surface. Spock gasped and broke a lamp
He spoke in rapid Vulcan, in a calm logical voice
"Um…that doesn't exactly makes sense, and it sounds a bit…rude?" Jim was shocked
"I am unaware of what you are speaking of" Spock said automatically
"Shall I repeat? You said something along the lines of "sexual intercourse with a woman that has born a child, offspring of a female dog, how the sexual intercourse can someone do that to an infant? Sexual intercourse, sexual intercourse, sexual intercourse! I will end the life of that illegitimate son"….I think although I could be wrong"
"You are able to speak Vulcan?"
"Yeah"
"You were wrong, I was those words are extremely rude in Vulcan terms. The words that would translate to you as sexual intercourse would be more accurately translated as "Fuck" "
"Huh… didn't know that Vulcan had swear words, I just deduced that you meant it in a rude way"
"So in standard I basically said "motherfucker, son of a bitch, how the fuck can someone do that to a child? Fuck fuck fuck!I will kill that bastard"" he informed Jim in a calm voice
"Holy shit"
"Indeed. In my timeline, you could not speak Vulcan"
"my dad had a book of Vulcan poetry that mum had in the attic, one day when I was hiding I found it and started to learn Vulcan, just so I could say whatever I wanted and no one would understand me"
"Fascinating" Spock said
"Indeed" Jim replied. This made Spock almost smile "Just a question but how the fuck did you find out about Tarsus?"
"Kodos the executioner survived and travelled as an actor by the name of Karidian, his daughter Lenore, started killing off the Tarsus Nine to make sure that he never got caught, he became…guilty about what he had done, he did not know that she was killing. They came aboard the enterprise, where 2 of the tarsus nine currently were"
"Me and Kevin Riley?"
"Yes. You did not tell me at first, but later you did, Lenore accidentally shot her father, who then died. "
"Wow, okay. What are you going to do about that, because you know that Kodos wasn't positively identified, so this karidian may be his alias now"
"I have already informed Starfleet of his true identity. They have decided to tell him, in a place his daughter isn't, that we know who he is, and what she may do. At the moment she is very young, so he can influence her positively"
"Okay good. Sounds like a plan, I sorta want him dead but…I want to forget it"
"Yes, I am so sorry Jim. I had hoped, that you were spared that"
"I wish but the universe just wants me dead"
"Interesting hypothesis" Spock said smiling a tiny tiny smile.
"Well, sorry old man but I'm tired. I should sleep"
"Of course captain, I hope to see you soon"
"Oh by the way, I think Spock's pissed at you"
"Why?"
"Well, I'm pissed that you actually spoke to him, and that you lied to me, but he's pissed because of the mind meld…I'm not sure why…"
"Ah, you see in Vulcan society a mind meld is extremely personal"
"Yeah he mentioned that."
"He would see it as the ultimate invasion of privacy, and it is. I apologize, but I had melded with My Jim many times. It was easier to do so than to explain, and you could be assured of the truth of my statements."
Huh weird, he said "my Jim", melded many times? Isn't it supposed to be personal. MAN I'm confused Jim thought to himself
"True, I don't mind. But he does "
"Indeed, I have much to talk to him about"
"Right…have fun with that. I'll talk to you soon"
"Goodbye James"
"Bye"
Wow that was weird…so, so weird. Jim thought as he slowly slipped into slumber
Uhura was upset by her breakup with Spock, but she didn't really love him. She thought she had, but when they got back to earth, she realized she couldn't handle Spock's deeply hidden emotions. To love she needed them to SHOW love, and he couldn't do that with her. Maybe he couldn't do that with anyone, but she guessed that she just wasn't the right person. She mulled over that, who WAS the right person? The only person who had ever got him to be emotional was James Tiberius Kirk…OH HELL NO! NO FUCKINGWAY?That would be seriously illogical…and FUCKED UP!
Really Kirk was actually a sweat guy. But, he certainly wasn't GAY! Okay that was just her mind going momentarily crazy. If Spock wasn't the right person for her who was…?
She looked around at the command crew. Sulu…I don't think so, he is SO into Chekov. Chekov…NO, on so so many levels, he's SEVENTEEN! And also so totally into Sulu. Although I don't think either of them know that yet…Interesting I think I have a new PROJECT *inner SQUEE*, Spock wasn't an option, Captain Kirk…OH MY GOD! FUCK NO! I mean he's hot, but so no…just no. Scotty…maybe…but the guy was practically in love with the …none…no one. Oh well. She thought to herself
The ship suddenly rolled and she pitched sideways, her reflexes just too slow to catch anything. She landed hard, hitting her head and passing out
Captain Kirk was furious "what the fuck was that Scotty?"
"Sorry captain, one of the ensigns screwed with the port engine, ignorant bastard. We are all good now. Any casualties?"
"Yeah, Uhura got knocked out. She's in sickbay"
"Christ, Sorry Jim"
"Not your fault. Put the incident on record okay?"
"Of course."
Bones had come to get Uhura before
"Shit who's hurt?" he asked when he got to the bridge
"Uhura's knocked out, there is a bit of blood too."
"Aww shit! Get her down to sickbay NOW!"
In sickbay
Bones managed to fix her up and put her on some painkillers. She became conscious again pretty quickly. She woke up and saw the ceiling and McCoy's hands holding a hypo spray. She sat up quickly.
"Wooh, don't move Lt. you had a pretty nasty head injury." He said gently pushing her down
"Is everything alright with…the ship?" she asked quietly
"Yep, it's all good, some ensign did something stupid or something. I was too busy treating you to notice. Does your head hurt at all?"
" A little. God that's embarrassing. Shit! Of course I'm the only one who manages to get injured."
"Actually it's probably due to your positioning on the bridge. And you were standing at the time"
"That actually makes me feel better. Thanks" she said surprised "thanks for treating me as well"
"That IS my job" he said giving her a rare smile
"Still. Thank you "
"It wasn't any trouble. You're not like Jim, god he gets injured SO often, and he's allergic to EVERYTHING! Him and Sulu do the stupidest stuff. Jumping off a fucking platform suspended in an atmosphere. Sounds like FUN." He said sarcastically
"Do you think that there is something going on with Sulu and Chekov?" she asked curiously
"God, those kids are so annoying! Worse than Jim, and that's HARD. Chekov is so naïve, he just can't see that Sulu likes him…and Sulu is just stupid. Chekov ain't known for his subtlety is he?"
"I'm glad someone else sees it, it's driving me crazy. Jim is kinda freaking me out at the moment"
"Why, please don't tell me he is hitting on you because I would have to kill him if he is"
"No, that's what's weird. He isn't hitting on ANYONE, it's fucking creepy"
"Huh…weird, I think I can figure why though. He is a captain, he takes that seriously"
"Yeah, he isn't as bad as I thought he is. But I so totally wouldn't date him"
"I heard you and Spock broke up, are you okay with that?" Bones asked
"Yeah, actually I am. That probably means there is something wrong with me"
"Nah, sometimes you think you love someone then, you see who they really are and you don't fit with them." He said, sadness in his usually sarcastic voice.
"You know, I don't really know all that much about you. You were a doctor before you joined Starfleet. Why did you join?"
"That's not exactly something I normally discuss" he said awkwardly
"I'm sorry, I didn't know"
"No its okay. I've spent enough time running away from it, plus I wanted to ask you something"
"Sure go ahead"
" I need to call someone on earth soonish, and I need to talk to them regularly, is there a way I can do that?"
"Well if they are family of course, but it depends on how close they are to how often you get"
"Okay, well I want to talk to my daughter"
"Your…your DAUGHTER? You have a daughter?" she asked shocked
"Yeah, and an ex wife. I joined Starfleet because she took my baby away from me, and my house, and my medical practice, hell the whole fucking planet when she divorced me. I don't even know how the hell she managed it, because she was the one who fucked around on me" he said angrily
"How old is your daughter?"
"Only 5, I only get to talk to her because I'm the federation hero and Jim used his power to get her to accept"
"What's her name?"
"Joanna. My little Joanna McCoy" he said softly
"I am so sorry Doctor"
"Please don't call me doctor and for god's sake don't call me Bones"
"What do I call you then?"
"I don't know, maybe my first name?"
"I don't like calling people by their first names, I only let my friends call me Nyota"
"So THAT'S your first name"
"Well, yeah"
"It's beautiful Uhura"
"Thank you…sorry but what is your first name? I've only been on the same ship like a day" she asked sheepishly
"Leonard, yes I know, its horribly old fashioned"
"I kind of like it actually"
"Thanks"
"You are a good Doctor Leonard McCoy, and I believe, if she had let you, your ex wife would have seen that you are a good father"
"I left."
"You had no choice."
"Jocelyn didn't give me much choice; she ruined my reputation in Georgia. It sucked. Life sucked, but the only happiness I had came from Jojo. I miss her and she probably doesn't even remember who I am" he said, his eyes definitely NOT tearing up.
"Leonard… I willmake sure that you can talk to your daughter." She said, moved by his situation and shocked that no one knew he had a kid
"Thank you, so much. Please don't tell anyone, Jim knows…but no one else does"
"I won't say anything , I promise." She said
"It must be hard for him to be somewhere where he can't even see his child. God his ex must be a bitch" she thought to herself
"Thanks Uhura."
"You know what?"
"Nup"
"I like you, you can call me Nyota"
For Lt. Uhura that was BIG, only certain friends, really close friends, even FOUND OUT her first name. Bones was shocked. "Wow, thanks" he said giving her an AMAZING smile
Wow he should REALLY smile more oftenshe thought as she smiled back
"Hey, what time is it?"
"It's still early on Alpha Shift. You weren't out for long."
"Do you have any other patients?"
"Nup, just you. Don't you feel special?"
"Totally" she laughed "when can I leave?"
"Ouch, I'm hurt." He smiled "I'll keep you till the end of Alpha shift for observation. Then you can go, but no working, you need to rest"
"Thanks Leonard" weird…she kinda LIKED saying his name…she hit her head harder than she thought.
"Maybe you will actually LISTEN to my advice. No one else seems to." He grumbled
"Well Jim never takes anyone's advice."
"Apart from Spock, and me sometimes but that's mostly got nothing to do with medicine. I know why he hates doctors so much, poor kid. But I'm a Doctor not a Soldier, I can't protect them. I can only fix them" he sighed
"You are good at what you do. That is what matters, everyone on this ship is good at what they do. That's all we expect from you."
"I know. And I know that people are going to die, it's just hard for me to accept that it may be because I CAN'T fix them. It's even harder thinking it could be a friend of mine"
"Kirk tries to save everyone, he has the same problem. He jumped of a fucking drill to save Sulu! Our lives may depend on if I can translate a message fast enough, if I KNOW the language at all. Everyone has that responsibility" she said trying to comfort her new found friend.
He has so much on his shoulders, the poor guy! It's strange that I never talked to him at the academy
"True, in a strange way that makes me feel better. CMO is a hard job; I didn't even finish my Academy classes!"
"Yeah neither did I, they gave the enterprise to someone who has a criminal record and a genius level IQ with a crew who didn't graduate from college. This is going to be fun don't you think" she joked
She has an impressive sense of humor! That is totally weird, she's beautiful, smart, and talented AND she likes sarcasm.Bones thought to himself as he laughed
"I think that we can handle anything that Starfleet gives us. But if their lack of information kills someone I will go after every Admiral I know with a hypo spray full of a non curable STD. except admiral pike. I like him"
She laughed "I'll help you. Although I'm more inclined to kill them, I'm sure you can leave no evidence"
He chuckled evilly "oh I can…hmm that is a good idea"
He's really funny.Then something clicked why didn't I think of it before! I went through every guy apart from Dr. McCoy. Maybe he would be a good match. Damn he's got a killer sense of humor. Plus he's HOT! And nice…but he has an ex-wife and a child…Do I care about that?
"What does your daughter look like?" she asked suddenly
"I have a picture in my office, I'll show you" he walked away and brought back a picture of a beautiful little girl with dark brown curly hair and piercing blue eyes with an amazing smile that seemed to light up the world
"Wow…she's beautiful. Looks like you"
He smiled sadly "Yeah. A bit"
I don't care.She suddenly decided then smiled at him reassuringly and put her hand on his arm
"Nyota…thanks, it's nice to talk to someone about things like that. I would talk to Jim but the poor guy has enough to deal with right now"
He said my name. Oh my god I sound like a freaking schoolgirl with a crush"It's not a problem, I've got nothing else to do anyway. I kinda need to make more friends anyway" she said, smiling sadly
"I'm sorry, I forgot that you must be upset. "
"Yeah, survivors guilt and all that. We lost our entire senior year."
"So we better work twice as hard to make them proud"
"Yeah. I never really had many friends before."
"Jim is probably the only friend I had in the academy. The doctors I worked with were mostly graduated already, because I was already a Doctor when I came to Starfleet"
"How come you became friends with him?"
"He is a lot like me in some ways. He was young, but still older than most cadets, and he seemed like he'd seen enough of the world to know what it was really like. He didn't really look comfortable in the shuttle with all the recruits, he seemed out of place and that was how I felt. So I just stuck to him, he gave me that goddamn nickname"
"He isn't what he seems to be."
"Yeah, the cockiness is a defense mechanism, so is the flirting. He doesn't WANT anyone to look too closely"
"He is actually not that bad"
"You must have hit your head harder than I thought" he said drily
She laughed "I've just decided that I should be less of a…cold hearted bitch"
"I know a cold hearted bitch when I see one, you aren't one"
"I'm not exactly welcoming"
"And I am? I probably have the worst bedside manner in history"
"You were fine with me"
"Well that's because it wasn't YOUR fault you got hurt. I swear Jim gets hurt on purpose"
"Probably" she laughed
They talked for a while and then he sent her back to her room to rest. I think I'm going to have to get to know him better