A/N this is a one-shot CD fan fic about what would happen to Gil if Sara Died. I've never written a CD before, so please be nice. Thanks to my great beta devilssmile666 for looking this over. You Rock!
Character thoughts are shown in italics, and lyrics are in between /slashes/
Disclaimer: I wonder how many people read these, but I don't own CSI or When You're Gone, by Avril Lavigne. Those are products of people who more rich and famous than I will ever be…
On the one year anniversary of Sara's death, Grissom called in sick, although it was more mentally than physically. He had to watch the love of his life die before him after she got shot in the chest from a stray bullet. They had been processing a scene when the suspect returned with a gun and started firing at random.
Grissom was lying in bed with the curtains drawn, in complete darkness. He was trying to forget that tragic day. He also wanted to erase the images of her bloody, dead body lying before him, when a song came on the radio that he had never heard before.
/I always needed time on my own/
/I never thought I'd need you there when I cried/
/And the days feel like years when I'm alone/
/And the bed where you lie is made up on your side/
/When you walk away I count the steps that you take/
/Do you see how much I need you right now/
I was always such a jerk to her. How could it have taken me five years to come to my senses? How could I possibly have hidden my feelings for that long? Why was I so afraid to open up? It figures that she was the only one who could break down the walls I built up, and that her death has caused me to build them up again. I need her more now than ever, but I can't have her anymore.
/When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you/
/When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too/
/When you're gone the words I need to hear/
/To always get me through the day and make it okay/
/I miss you/
Everyone's been saying how bad I look. How could they get over it so quickly? That was the day I was supposed to ask her to marry me too. I even had a ring. I wish I could have put it on her finger while she was still alive. I was too late. Sara, I miss you so much...but at least you're not hurting anymore.
/I never felt this way before/
/Everything that I do reminds me of you/
/And the clothes you left that lie on the floor/
/And they smell just like you I love the things that you do/
Her smell is gone now. All I have left is her old shampoo that I keep around for when I need to remember the good times. I wish I had been better to her, asked her to move in sooner. We could've had more time. It always felt like forever, but that ended in a day. Selfishly I even remember thinking that I would outlive her. How's that for fate working against you? He gave a grim smirk to nothing in particular, but even that ghost of a half-smile faded quickly, and tears burned his eyes.
/When you walk away I count the steps that you take/
/Do you see how much I need you right now/
/When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you/
/When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too/
/When you're gone the words I need to hear/
/To always get me through the day and make it okay/
/I miss you/
She was a part of my life that I only knew with her. She was the only home I ever had, the only love I ever knew. She was my first and last. I will never again truly live without her, only a half-life. This hurts so much...why didn't the damn officers do their jobs correctly?
/We were made for each other/
/Out here forever I know we were/
/Yeah, yeah. /
/All I ever wanted was for you to know/
/Everything I do I give my heart and soul/
/I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me/
Sara, I need to see you again...now.
Grissom didn't even wait for the song to end; he pulled his gun out of his holster and ended his life right there in the bedroom. The only good thing that the night shift team could think of when they processed the scene was that he was, at least, with Sara again. He wasn't hurting anymore, and that thought brought warmth to their hearts'.
A/N Okay, not exactly the happiest fic I've ever written, but I was in the mood to write something dark. Please leave a review so I know whether or not you liked it.