All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No infringement intended.
Title: An Angel Lost
Penname(s): Alizabeth Roc
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Sad. Someone dies.
Summary: 'To Kill a Cullen' Contest
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The wood did not stand a chance. It was a hundred year old elm which had been cut down by his ancestors, hewn into a plank and used to frame the home that had been his refuge. Sam shredded it with his bare hands, oblivious to the jagged splinters that tore into his flesh. Nothing he could do to his body would blot out the pain. In his mind's eye he saw the smiling eyes of a child that would never grow up to be a woman. The wild anguish was too much.
Sam was overwhelmed with rage at the vampires that had transformed him into this abomination. His clothes shredded as he phased into wolf form and raced mindlessly into the woods.
One week earlier…
The young girl huddled behind a tree, trying to be invisible. She strained to hear any sign of movement but the droplets of rain that tapped the leaves of the thick forest canopy blanketed other sounds. She held her breath and folded her body tighter upon itself, pressing her head of bronze curls to her knees. Her stillness was unearthly.
A barely perceptible rustle drew her attention and she slowly raised her head. Her keen eyes saw a leaf move, then another and she slowly uncoiled. Stay and fight or flee?
The child hardly looked ready for a fight. Rain dripped from her blond ringlets down delicately carved cheekbones and along the ballet curve of her neck. Her gossamer thin sundress had been painted green and brown by the forest and her feet were bare.
She opted to stay, pressing her back against the tree, eyes darting to the left and right. Suddenly, she realized her error.
I chose wrong, she thought as the rustling leaves became a definitive trail of motion.
A huge form crept forward, its mouth open. A red tongue drooped between the bone white of its fangs. The creature suddenly swiveled and looked directly at her, closing the distance between them in three long strides. Adrenaline surged in her veins, but her feet would not move her forward. She knew it would be pointless. There was no escape.
The wolf stopped short of the girl. On all fours, it stood over a foot taller than she – an enormous killing machine. It leaned down until she could feel its hot breath in her face and gently touched its nose to hers.
"OK, Jakey. You found me. Now you hide," she said, petting the wolf affectionately.
The wolf shook its head and looked at her with intelligent brown eyes. She pouted prettily.
"Time to go home?"
The wolf nodded.
"Can I have a ride?"
The wolf lay down on the forest floor and the girl climbed fearlessly onto its back, threading her fingers through the russet fur. She squealed with delight as they took a mighty leap, racing through the moss covered trees to bring her home.
Her bare feet skipped with glee across the glistening grass of her front lawn, but she checked her joyous strides at the sight of her mother's disapproving face.
"Renesmee Cullen. What did you do to your dress?" Bella said, tapping her foot.
Renesmee didn't answer with words. She slipped her hand into her mother's and images of her games in the wood with her wolf babysitter told the tale. Bella smiled and the ruined dress was forgotten. Jacob was the best playmate any child could ever have.
Moments later a tall, dark-skinned man emerged from the woods.
"Jacob Black, next time at least let her change into play clothes. That dress was a gift from her Aunt Alice," Bella reproved.
To Renesmee she said, "Honey, go in and change. I will be there in a minute."
The girl flashed a smile to Jake that said, I knew she wouldn't be mad, and skipped into the cottage, curls bouncing.
"Jake, thanks for watching her."
"My pleasure Bells, you know she's my girl," Jacob said, his face splitting into a fond grin.
"What news do you have of Emily?" Bella asked in concern.
The grin faded.
"Her doctor just isn't sure. Nothing seems normal about this pregnancy. She wants to have the baby on the reservation, but the doctor says the hospital would be a better place."
Bella's eyes were full of sympathy. Her own childbirth experience was still fresh in her memory - it had almost killed her.
"What do the tribe elders have to say about this?"
"They are insisting that she stay on the reservation," Jacob said shortly, frowning in disapproval.
Emily's baby was a first in this generation of the Quileute tribe… the first child born to the mate of a shape shifter. Emily's husband Sam, like Jacob, had evolved to shape shift into wolf form to protect the tribe. Specifically they were protection from vampires.
"I wish I could visit her," Bella said softly.
She and all of the Cullen vampires had been banned from the reservation. Sam didn't want them anywhere near Emily. He was terrified that their presence might trigger something in the child and the elders shared his concern. They did not want modern medical science identifying any abnormalities with the child and were keeping Emily close to the reservation, although Sam had insisted she receive some pre-natal care at the medical center.
"I will send your love," Jacob said. "I want to get back now. They say it could be any day."
Present day….
Sam pushed Emily's hair back from her face. She was sweating heavily and her breath came in and out rapidly. She was trying to do the breathing they had taught her in childbirth class, but Sam could see it was not helping. He flexed his massive strong hands helplessly. There was no place for his strength here – everything depended on Emily. She was his goddess and he had never loved her more than he did at this minute, as he watched her fight.
The midwife's face was drawn with concern. She pressed a moistened towel to Emily's face and offered her a sip of water, but Emily turned her face away. It had been ten hours of labor and Emily was exhausted. The contraction passed and she slumped weakly back onto the bed, eyelids fluttering shut briefly and then open again to look lovingly at Sam.
He tried to hide his worry and smooth his face.
"That was a big one," she said in a weak voice.
The skin around the network of scars on her face was white and there were tiny red crescents in her palms where she had dug in her fingernails. As always, when he let himself see her scars a twist of disgust at himself wrenched Sam's gut. He had already hurt her so much. He was hurting her now.
"You did great," Sam said, "I'm sure we'll see him soon."
"Or her," she corrected with a smile.
"Either way… I love our child already," he said with conviction.
"So do I," she smiled and caressed her stomach.
After another hour the pain had progressed past what Emily could bear in silence and the screams that tore from her sent ripples of uneasy tension through the friends and family waiting in the next room of the small home. When the midwife hurried from the bedroom Jacob stopped her.
"I think we should call a doctor and get her to the hospital," he said urgently.
The woman tried to shake off his hand, but he held on tightly, forcing her to look up at him. Her old eyes were fearful.
"The Chief said no doctors," she said stubbornly.
Sam burst into the room, his face haunted.
"She is bleeding heavily. Call an ambulance."
Jacob was already at the phone. The midwife dropped the towel she was holding and ran past Sam into the bedroom. Sam stood frozen there for a moment, and then turned and followed her. The other tall, dark skinned men in the room huddled together. This was a battle that the pack could not fight.
The ambulance did not arrive at the remote reservation in time to save her.
Sam was inconsolable. He banished everyone from the house and proceeded to tear it down around himself, destroying the evidence of the memories of the life that he and Emily had shared. Only Jacob was brave enough to enter the room.
Sam stood, legs braced and chest heaving as his eyes wildly scanned the room for something else to tear apart, the way his own life had been torn apart. Blood streamed from his lacerated hands onto the immaculate carpet that Emily had been so careful to keep clean.
Jacob's face was a mirror of Sam's pain and he couldn't even speak. His first thought was to keep Sam from hurting himself any further. He stepped forward, expecting Sam to fight him, but the bigger man allowed Jacob to take him by the wrists and hold his arms still.
"You are hurt," Jacob said, his heart stopping at the magnitude of that understatement.
Despair blazed out of Sam's eyes.
"This was not meant to be," he said.
Jacob let him talk.
"None of this was meant to be. What has happened to you and to me … to the others in the pack. We are not natural. We were not meant to love and live. We've been deformed by this fate. There's no life for us thanks to those bloodsuckers." The fury in his voice was white hot.
Jacob wrapped his arms around his friend and held him close. There was no answer to offer. Jacob had shared those thoughts. His life had been irrevocably changed by the presence of the Cullen vampires. The future that would never be was a casualty of their existence.
"They get to keep their child, while I lose mine," Sam growled.
Jacob stiffened. Sam was referring to Renesmee. Jacob's beloved Nessie was the only person that he was truly bonded to despite his ties to Sam and the pack. For a moment, Jacob's protective instinct overcame his concern for his friend and he pulled back to look in Sam's eyes.
"Leave Nessie out of this," Jacob growled and then regretted his reaction.
Sam's eyes hardened.
"Jake we all know you love Nessie. You love her like she was your own daughter," the word seemed to catch in Sam's throat. "The love of a father for a daughter is a powerful thing."
Jacob stepped back and Sam moved to the door.
"I need some time alone. Don't try to follow me," he said bitterly.
Over his shoulder, so softly that Jacob barely heard, Sam said, "It was a girl."
---
Edward clicked the phone shut. Checking quickly to make sure that Nessie was asleep, he walked into their room to talk to Bella. She was arranging photographs in an album. She looked up expectantly at his arrival, a half-smile on her face, but the smile disappeared when she saw Edward's expression.
She leapt up from the bed, scattering photographs and ran to Edward's side.
"Emily? The baby?"
Edward wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his cold chest, already feeling a chill settle around her in dread of what she would hear.
"Is the baby alright?, Oh, Edward tell me," she begged.
Edward gripped her more tightly. She could not pull back to meet his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he said in a broken voice. "Emily died in childbirth. Their daughter was pronounced dead at the hospital."
Bella's legs gave out and she clung to Edward.
"Sam… Sam… " she cried. "… Where is he?"
"Jacob said he ran off."
"I'm going to go to him," Bella said, pulling on her boots.
"My love, please, I know you care, but he has his family. His tribe is looking out for him. It is not our place."
"I am going," she said stubbornly. "I have to find him. He found me once. When I was alone in the woods with my heart broken after you left."
She didn't stop to check the effect these words had on her husband.
"Stay and watch Renesmee. I am going after him."
At the door she paused and turned to him.
"I love you," she said and she was gone.
Edward tried to follow her thoughts, but especially in times of emotional stress Bella's shield was a wall that didn't let anything in or out. She had gotten so good at controlling her shield that she could enclose Edward in a cocoon of silence and block out the thoughts of others around him. The peace from the constant din of other's thoughts was a welcome respite for him, but at times like this Bella was off of his radar and Edward struggled with the loss of control.
His urge was to follow her, but some instinct kept him at Renesmee's side. He peeked into her room again. The blanket was pulled up to her chin, her face innocently slack as she slept. Edward loved to look at her like this. Sleep was one of the most wonderful gifts that her half human side had given her. She whimpered.
Edward was instantly at her side. He pulled her into his lap and she snuggled up to his familiar chill. His fingers brushed her cheeks and his mind saw her dream. It was a wolf. Edward often saw wolves in Renesmee's dreams but this one was different. Its black eyes were filled with rage. Renesmee whimpered again and Edward felt a chill of dread. He slipped the sleeping child back onto the bed and reached for his phone. He had to warn Jacob.
---
Bella ran gracefully through the forest. The light of the moon turned the raindrops to pearls and streaked her dark hair with silver. A wolf howl cut the night air. The sound was filled with despair. Sam was near. She followed her senses to a clearing where his scent was strong. She stopped, disoriented until she realized that there was no wolf there.
Sam had phased back to human form and had collapsed, naked on the wet ground. His hands were clutched to his chest. He made no effort to shield himself from the cold rain striking his brown skin. In a moment of supreme emphathy, Bella felt that she and Sam were one. She remembered the feeling of his strong arms lifting her and holding her close to his warmth. She could see her own white face, her own arms wrapped around her chest trying to close the hole that had been ripped in her chest when Edward left her.
She reached out her hand and touched him. Sam's eyes flew open.
Bella was not prepared for his reaction.
---
Jacob's paws ripped through the soft wet ground as he raced through the night alone. He had been tracking Sam's formless thoughts, but then he lost the trail. Sam must have phased back, he thought, but then he picked up Sam's scent and another smell he knew. Bella.
Jacob's strides lengthened impossibly and he barely touched the ground when he ran. As soon as he had heard Bella was looking for Sam he had a terrible feeling of impending doom.
Suddenly, Sam's thoughts flashed back into his mind. He had phased back into wolf form. Jacob tried to send Sam comforting thoughts, but the images flooding Jacob's mind assaulted him. In their shared thoughts he felt the primal rage, that was ripping through Sam as he lashed out at the enemy he did not even recognize.
Jacob saw the silvery clearing through his wolf brother's eyes and he saw Sam's enemy. The image caused Jacob's stride to falter and his paw slipped. His massive body crashed against a rock and tumbled head over paws until he slammed into a tree, knocking branches down with a splintering crack onto the forest floor. He shook his head and regained his feet to take a step and stumbled again as his leg gave out under him. Jacob was more destroyed by what he saw in his mind than what had happened to his body.
Jacob moved forward again, barely noticing the pain from his broken left leg as he ran. He burst into the clearing. The first thing he saw was Sam. He was on his knees, silhouetted against the full moon, his head thrown back his eyes closed. Behind Sam, pieces of an ivory statue littered the ground.
The howl of anguish that ripped from Jacob's throat did not move Sam one inch. He remained frozen on his knees, welded to the earth by the light of the moon. Blood from his neck flowed black down his collarbone and across his broad chest. His eyes slowly opened and he looked at Jacob in sorrow. Jacob could smell the rippling heat of the vampire venom that was incinerating Sam's flesh.
"She's dead. Jacob … I … I'm," Sam broke off. He spread his arms wide, palms open in supplication.
"End it," Sam begged.
Jacob's claws slashed and caught in flesh and bone, the wet hotness of blood surged over him, coating his fur. With the swift efficiency of a killer he ended Sam's pain.
Jacob's pain was only beginning. His own loss paled in comparison to his terror for the little girl who had just lost her mother.
---
Renesmee was awakened by a hollow crashing sound outside of her bedroom. She slid from the bed, pulling off the special blanket her mother had knitted for her. She rubbed its soft threads against her cheek and inhaled the scent. It smelled like Mama. That special scent of flowers and spice, the sweetness that was home to Renesmee. She pushed open the door to see her father on the floor.
Renesmee was terrified. Her strong and beautiful father was always smiling. His world was so filled with the love and joy of his family, he was always laughing at something Renesmee had showed him. She needed to get into his arms to safety.
He quivered on the floor, his golden eyes fixed open but there was no light in them. Renesmee touched his cheek but he didn't seem to feel her. It was like he had left his body and the perfect shell of him on the floor was all that remained of her father. Renesmee covered his shoulder with her blanket and slipped into his cold arms, pressing her soft cheek to his still chest. He still gave no reaction.
She reached up to press her hands to his cheeks and concentrated. Something in her knew that her father needed comfort. In her own terror, Renesmee felt around for her favorite memory. She passed it into her father's mind.
Through a long, long tunnel Edward saw a light and movement. He felt his daughter's hands on his cheeks, and her warmth pushed back the terror that had ripped him apart the moment that he had read Jacob's thought and knew for certain that Bella was dead. Edward's mind was destroyed, but the one still small piece of it that remained received the message of love from his daughter.
Her memory was of him at his piano. He played her favorite tune as Renesmee danced, her golden curls floating as she gracefully pirouetted. Nessie lifted her arms and was swept up into her mother's embrace. They spun in time to the music, Nessie's golden curls entwining with Bella's long dark hair. Their cheeks were pressed together and the musical sound of Bella's laughter harmonized with the music and their happy dance.
Edward opened his eyes and looked down at his beautiful daughter.
He would live for her.