NOW

Daryl wanted to break down but he knew he couldn't, he had to be strong, he had to survive. He stood surrounded by guns pointed carefully on him. His dark blue eyes locked onto Rick's as their movements traced an unspoken conversation. 'I'll save you.' He could almost hear Rick's words. It felt like it had been ages since he last saw Rick's face, he could see the ghosts that haunted his eyes now, the dried blood splatter on his face told a dark story.

"What a beautiful fucking reunion." Negan's voice pierced his thoughts like a gunshot and he flinched like a hand shy dog. The sadistic leader clapped his hands together slowly, drawing everyone's attention. "Go say hi to your loverboy." A smile plastered across Negan's face as he patted Daryl's shoulder, causing him to jump at the touch.

Negan could see the uncertainty in Daryl's face as he twirled Lucille around carelessly. "Go on now, it's no trick. Call it a reward for being a good boy."

Daryl stood in place, he wanted to run to Rick, wanted it so bad he could taste it, but his primordial fear kept him from moving. And before he could process what was happening Rick started running towards him.

"No." Daryl mumbled under his breath, his eyes darting frantically around at all the guns pointed on them, to the bloody baseball bat Negan gripped. But nothing could have stopped Rick, he was running with the last amount of breath in him, stopping only to pull Daryl into a tight hug. The tracker let go all at once, embracing Rick in return.

He could feel Rick trembling beneath his arms, his voice shaking as a half whispered. "I won't let Negan hurt you."

Daryl knew it was a promise, but it was one that couldn't be kept, he'd already been broken and beaten; but he found a strange comfort in those words. He could only imagine the shocked faces of the onlookers that surrounded them as he pressed his lips desperately against Rick's, fireworks exploding in his stomach. Even like this he felt so exhilarated as Rick deepened the kiss, their teeth clicked together and he could taste metallic blood in his mouth.

He could hardly hear Negan laughing in the background as they pulled away from each other, a small trail of saliva breaking between their lips. Daryl knew he would have to return to Negan's community, but he knew Rick would come for him. He had to keep surviving until then. He wouldn't let anything take away what was standing in front of him now.

THEN

Adjusting to Alexandria was difficult and perplexing. In the past, before the world went to shit, Daryl Dixon lived in a run down log cabin. A little hunting cabin in the woods where his pa would sit on the front porch, drinking moonshine and cussing at him to bring his him his smokes. His life didn't mean anything to anyone, he never felt love like a child should, he never got a job or did something meaningful with his life. According to his brother he couldn't even hunt or fish right and his ma would just ask if he was stupid all the time.

Some people called the Walker outbreak 'the end of the world', but really it was just the beginning of Daryl's. Out there the world became about survival and he had become damn good at surviving. People started to depend on him, to lean on him, he had the power to save people's life and he wasn't even completely sure what to do with it. For the first time in his life he became a part of a family, not like those families you see on Hallmark cards at a mall, but a family none the less. He became something to someone.

That was exactly why he was struggling to adjust to living in Alexandria, because within these twelve inch thick steel walls his life felt almost meaningless again. One thing kept him there though, pushed him into adapting, and that was Rick Grimes. This was probably the kind of life Rick lived before the apocalypse, Daryl thought anyway, with its fancy granite counter tops, kids playing in the streets, and the scent of cookies baking in the oven. They fought so hard to get here, to find somewhere safe, so it was difficult watching Rick struggle to accept that this place was good and full of kind people.

As much as he always hated posh neighborhoods like this, he knew it's exactly what their group needed. Daryl sat on the front porch of their shared house, dully carving small circles into the white paint on the wood. He watched as Rick paced almost frantic circles in the street before coming towards him. He could tell Rick was losing his damn mind, but he also knew things would work themselves out. Besides, he'd already decided he would follow that man to the ends of this dead world no matter what. Unless he was invited to a 'housewarming party' the neighborhood was hosting to welcome their dysfunctional group to society, then there was no way in hell he was following anyone there.

"You goin' to the welcoming party?" Rick's voice broke through the silence finally.

"Nah don't wanna."

"I'd like it... if you could go with me."

Daryl set down his knife to glance up, chewing softly at his bottom lip. It was odd seeing Rick cleaned up and freshly shaven again. He could see the bags under his eyes easier, the creases that appeared more prominently on his forehead from stress. His piercing blue eyes had become darker and filled with ghosts. Even so, his lips still looked soft. He wondered how many times he'd thought about those lips, imagined himself violating them. He wanted Rick in so many ways he couldn't describe.

Not that he was queer or anything, in fact he had never been with anyone at all so he didn't quite know how to describe what he felt towards Rick. He'd never thought about wanting to kiss or fuck anyone before but something about being around Rick just felt so right and comfortable. Though he completely accepted it was just a fantasy, his own twisted and delusional thoughts. He knew he had to keep them secret, especially from Rick.

He caught himself staring at his lips and quickly diverted his eyes to the ground submissively. "Don't wanna go with ya." He mumbled. It was only partly a lie. He wanted to be around him, he just didn't want to socialize or meet the neighbors, not like he cared about impressing them. He heard Rick sigh through his nose before stomping past the tracker and into the house, slamming the door shut. "Somethin's got his damn panties in a bunch." Daryl complained to himself.

The rest of the afternoon he spent keeping to himself, trying to inwardly adjust to the new settings. He honestly debated going to the welcoming party for a brief moment but decided against it. Even so he somehow found himself walking the streets that evening, darkness already enveloped the quiet town and his feet carried him towards the large house where the party was held. From the street he could hear laughter and talking, he saw candles illuminating every room of the house brightly. Everyone seemed happy inside those walls. Just as he was about to turn and walk the other way he heard the front door open and he quickly ducked behind a nearby tree hoping not to be seen.

"Daryl?" Shit. He heard Rick's voice and knew he was caught. He grunted and stepped out from behind the tree. "You wanna join us?"

He asked as if the answer would change from this afternoon. Daryl curled his lip a little in response. "Nah."

Rick approached him, stepping behind the dark tree with a smile on his face like a child up to no good. Daryl raised an eyebrow at him but before he could ask what he was laughing at the smell of liquor hit his nostrils. "You been drinkin'?"

"A bit... I've also been thinking." Rick stumbled towards him, causing him to take a few tentative steps back, stopping when he felt his back pressed against the large tree.

"Bout?"

"This place... and a bit about you."

Daryl narrowed his eyes as Rick leaned in a little too close for comfort. This wasn't good, this was dangerous. Daryl was already planning an escape route when Rick moved forward, his lips brushed softly against the tracker's cheek. And Daryl froze, standing awkward and uncomfortable in place, not sure how to react or what to say. Thankfully he didn't have to say anything as Rick pulled away, smiling almost too happily for his own good.

"I better get back to the party before anyone comes lookin' for me." Rick almost seemed as if nothing happened, as if he hadn't just placed the most awkward kiss on Daryl's cheek. He watched as he turned and walked back to the house, it wasn't until he was out of sight that Daryl slumped to his knees, letting out a loud sigh. He couldn't quite explain what just happened, didn't even know if he exactly liked it, but he was blown away by it.

It created a fire in his chest that flickered and dulled, over and over, he felt the heat rising up to his throat where it lingered. He brushed his fingertips against the spot where Rick's lips touched. As much as he was overwhelmed by how he felt in that moment he knew this was because Rick was drunk. He was drunk and lonely, those were a terrible combination. Drunk and lonely people do stupid things, things they don't mean. Daryl knew better, he had to keep his heart guarded, especially around Rick. He knew no one could ever really love him, and what's worse he knew that he could never love anyone either. He could definitely never love Rick fucking Grimes.

Hello readers,

I'm excited to write this story and have a lot of ideas for it moving forward. I hope you'll enjoy reading it, chapters will be posted weekly pending my work schedule. I do not have a beta reader so please bare with any errors for now. As always PLEASE REVIEW, it really means the world to me when you do!

-Kit