~*~Caged~*~
*set after Soulless Sam was saved and when Sam's soul left in the Cage*
I had made myself stop counting. What I was counting, I no longer knew. Day and night didn't exist here. Unless Michael or Lucifer willed it, there was nothing but black endlessness. Only the ability to escape this pit remained thankfully out of their grasp.
They were fighting each other, a welcomed break, a bit of peace… a bit of calm before they returned to play with their prey- me.
When they weren't fighting each other, they bonded over tearing me to shreds since Adam had been lucky enough trade his meat suit for passage into heaven. Poor kid deserved it and I was grateful he was not stuck here too.
It was inevitable that they would remember me, running and hiding was impossible in this black emptiness. I tried to ready myself for their next attack. Anything to keep from breaking just yet. This often meant thinking about Dean.
Sorrow threatened to drown me. Whenever I sought memories to comfort me, they were always of Dean. I would imagine him with me, ineffective trying to protect me like when we were kids.
As time passed, picturing him with me had gotten easier. I had days where I believed it was really him. His arms would be wrapped around me in a useless attempt to protect me from the onslaughter of hate and rage from Michael and Lucifer.
"Sam, it's okay. I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you." Dean would always whisper in my ear.
And despite the promise I had asked him to keep before I had said yes, I wanted my brother, I needed him. I had only let myself think this because of Cas.
That awkward angel had come. But something had gone wrong. Before Lucifer was cast out, the devil had pulled me with him. In the end, I was left behind.
I allowed my hope only because they had found a way. I could be saved while Lucifer remained in the Cage. I could allow Dean to break the promise of living an apple pie life because the world would remain safe.
As I waited for my freedom, I allowed the mirage of my brother to linger. Because I had found that I'm not strong enough to hold the devil off.
Lucifer had seen all my thoughts, fears, and memories. And he used them. He exploited them in the most terrible yet creative ways.
The pain and the fear, it overwhelms me and the only hope that stays alit is the fabricated presence of my big brother telling me that he was there, to hold on and that I was going to be okay.
If I didn't have that, the fires of my nightmares would have consumed me long ago.
"Keep fighting, Sammy," said the flicking image of my brother as the flames begun to dance over my skin, "I'm coming."
~End~
A/N- Thanks for reading. :D