Hey! I thought it might be fun to think about what would happen if I was in charge of Kingdom Hearts for some time. I'm the director. Suggestions to make it better are welcome and appreciated. Some aren't that funny, yet it's all I can think about...for now. Hope you like it and please review.

First Up

"Hello, let's get down to business," a boy walked into the room of nervous actors. They all looked at him in surprise. He finally noticed their stares. "What?"

"Well, who are you?" Xemnas asked.

"More importantly, who are you? Ansem the Wise? Master Xehanort of Birth by Sleep? Terra/Xehanort? What? What? Spit it out!" the boy yelled.

"What a drama queen," Marluxia whispered.

"Shut up, cross dresser," the boy snarled. Marluxia straightened up.

"So, we're going to act for a little kid?" Larxene asked with a bored expression.

"I have a Master's degree in Performing Arts, a Doctor's degree, and I am also the valedictorian graduate of the official Keyblade Master School in 2010! Besides, read my profile and you'll know my age. I'm not a kid."

"You still haven't answered Manse-, I mean, Xemnas's question," Riku snickered.

"I am your new director, the author of this story, and the hand that has your pitiful lives," the boy answered. "Name's Bladewielder05. Blade for short."

"What's with the 05?" Sora asked.

"There's a reason. That is for another day."

"Where's Tetsuya?" Kairi asked.

"Sick. Asked me to fill in for him."

"Oh, boy," Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"Are we going to get started?" Saix inquired.

"Agreed, we would institute the drama of the entertainment at present," Blade commented, taking his place at the director's seat. Everyone looked at each other with puzzled expressions. Blade sighed. "You guys don't have a lot of vocabulary, do you? I'm surprised at you, Zexion." He gave him a meaningfully glare. "Anyways…ACTION!"

"We're not ready!" Demyx complained. Blade sighed. This was going to be a long episode.

Awakening: Take 1

Choose your weapon the voice echoed. Sora glanced around, taking in the weapons. There was a staff, a shield, and a sword.

"Cool!" Sora said as he plucked all the weapons from their stands.

"Sora! Cut!" Blade quickly said. The boy looked at the director. "Pick one weapon."

"Okay!" Sora tossed the shield and staff over his head.

"Ow!" Marluxia and Larxene chorused.

Awakening: Take 2

Choose wisely the voice said warily. Sora gazed at the weapons before going over to the sword.

"Sora! Get the staff!" Donald quacked. Sora glanced around. He decided to get the staff.

"Get the shield!" Goofy whispered when Sora was close to picking the staff. The boy shrugged and went over to the shield.

"Sword! Sword! Sword!" Roxas chanted.

"Shut up, Roxas!" Donald whacked the Nobody. "The staff!"

"Sora, listen to me," Goofy smiled. "The shield's the way to go."

"Get off the set!" Blade yelled.

"Get the Keyblade!" Mickey commanded.

"There is no Keyblade!" Blade shouted.

"You guys are confusing me!" Sora complained.

"CUT!"

Destiny Islands: Raft Building: Take 1

"I guess I'm the only one working on the raft," Riku shrugged. He threw the log over to Sora. A bit too high.

"I got it!" Sora cried as he reached over to grab the log. Sora caught it for a few minutes. He threw it in the air as he fell into the ocean. The log fell on top of him, causing him to faint.

"Cut!" Blade yelled.

"Save the log!" Kairi told Riku as it floated away.

Destiny Islands: Paopu Fruit: Take 1

"Sora," Riku tossed the fruit at his best friend. Sora quickly turned and got hit in the face.

"Ah, man, cut!" Blade yelled.

"Why am I always getting hurt?" Sora cried.

"You still have, what? 15 hp?" Riku commented.

Destiny Islands: Paopu Fruit: Take 2

"Sora," Riku tossed the fruit to his best friend. This time, Sora managed to catch it. "You wanted one, didn't you?"

"A paopu fruit…" Sora looked up with a big grin. "Awww, Riku! You really do like me!"

Riku looked bewildered, "Wait! What?"

"Those fanfictions were true!"

"Get him away from me!" Riku called out to Blade.

"CUT! CUT! CUT! THIS IS NOT YAOI!"

Wonderland: Fighting the Trickmaster: Take 1

"Are you ready?" the Cheshire Cat grinned. "Because if you're not, that's too bad!" Nothing happened. The cat frowned.

"What's happening?" Goofy whispered to Donald. The duck shrugged.

"Where's the Heartless?" Sora asked. The cat's frown deepened.

"Director, I'm getting tired standing on my head," the cat stated. Blade looked over the script.

"Heartless, Heartless, Heartless. WTF?" he picked up a piece of note.

Left to take care of Crimson Pranksters. Be back whenever.

Sincerely,

Trickmaster

"Cut!"

Deep Jungle: Tarzan meets Sora: Take 1

"Friends, here," Tarzan said.

"Really?" Sora asked in surprise.

"#&&X%," Tarzan continued. Sora gasped, holding a hand to his open mouth.

"You just said a bad word!" Sora yelled.

Blade groaned and his head was in his hands.

"CUT!" Roxas smiled.

"That's my job!"

Halloween Town: Darkness: Take 1

"Stop flickering the lights off and on!" Blade yelled. Kairi sighed and turned the lights back on. The whole cast gave small gasps when they looked at the set. Sora and Donald were past out.

"What happened?" Riku asked. Blade shrugged.

"You were the director! How can you not know?" Roxas asked.

"Hey! The lights were out. I couldn't see a thing!" Blade complained.

"What happened, Goofy?" Kairi asked the dog.

"Twinkle, twinkle Angel Star," Goofy sang. His eyes were in swirls and Blade could see flying Goofys flying around his head. "How I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high! You're a Heartless in the sky!"

"…cut?"

Hollow Bastion: Kairi meets Shadow (Sora): Take 1

As the three ran down the stairs, a Shadow crept up to them.

"Confronted Heartless! Get lost!" Donald whacked the Heartless with his wand. Kairi stared at the Heartless before speaking.

"Riku?" The two animals stared at her in amazement.

"CUT!" Blade intercepted. Kairi looked confused.

"What went wrong?"

"That was supposed to be Sora!" Blade shook his head. "Of all the guys she said, it had to be Riku…"

"What did I miss?" Riku came in with a can of soda.

"…I hate you for all eternity," Shadow/Sora glowered.

Hollow Bastion: Kairi meets Shadow (Sora): Take 2

As the three ran down the stairs, a Shadow crept up to them.

"Confronted Heartless! Get lost!" Donald yelled. He whacked the Shadow with his wand. Kairi just stared at it. Goofy nudged her.

"Kairi."

"Who are you?" Kairi finally asked.

"CUT!" Blade yelled. He rubbed his temples in frustration. "Why me?"

Hollow Bastion: Kairi meets Shadow (Sora): Take 3

"Get away from me!" Kairi screamed as she ran away from Sora.

"Get the girl and CUT!"

End

"Good job, people. Let's call it a day," Blade warily slumped in his chair. The actors spoke quietly as they walked out of the room. Blade smiled with obvious relief. Who knew directing a game was so hard?

"Blade!" a girl came rushing in the room. Blade gave a frown before recognizing the voice.

"Twilight," he smiled. The girl stopped in front of him and frowned.

"Twilight? Why did you call me that? You know my name is A-," her mouth was clamped shut by Blade's hand.

"Do you know where we are?" he whispered.

"Fanfiction?" she guessed.

"Exactly. That was why I wanted you to call me Blade. That way no one knows our real names," Blade explained.

"Oh! I got you, H-."

"Blade, Twilight. Name's Blade."

"Right. Blade," she stressed.

"Who's your girlfriend?" Ventus asked.

"I thought you left!" Blade exclaimed.

"The director's got a girlfriend!" Vanitas snickered. Both boys ran out the room.

"Get back here!" Blade yelled, waving around his Keyblade.

So how was it? Sorry if I couldn't think of anything funnier. Oh, and about the thing with the Master's degree and Doctor's, it's not real. As I said, read my profile and you KH fans would understand. Although, if there was a Keyblade Master School, I would so join in, but I don't think I would be the valedictorian. :) Review please! :)