Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Law and Order.
AN: This kind of just popped into to my head recently and I wanted to see how this would play out. It's a Oneshot with potential to be continued. Let me know. Thank you.
At First Sight
Declan Murphy stood pacing outside the hospital room hesitant to walk in. He didn't know what her reaction would be and he didn't want her to upset her. It had been months since he had seen her and a few weeks since they had spoken. He hated to not be there for the whole pregnancy. She had to do it all by herself and he felt regret not being there by her side through it all.
It wasn't his intention.
He couldn't abandon his undercover assignment that took so many years to get so far in. There were too many lives at stake. After Syria, the same group of traffickers made themselves known in a few clubs just outside of Las Vegas. Declan wanted to see it to the very end. To be there as the whole ring of scum got locked up. For years he had seen too many countless underage teens being bought and sold, then beaten, raped and killed. So many Jane Does thrown out like garbage, their lifeless faces burned into his brain. Children's lives ruined with horrible memories and scars. Someone had to put an end to it. Those monsters had to be punished.
He shouldn't even be here right now, but something in him just had to see her. When Declan found out that she was in labor he got on the first plane without even telling a soul. It was reckless. Some may even call it stupid. He was risking it all. On the way to the airport, he was sure to switch cars and even after that he was paranoid the whole time, looking behind to make sure no one was following him.
He was being selfish but his heart took over at that point, and it all comes out moron when your heart is involved. He had dreamt of being a father and having the whole white picket fence life. That was years ago and that dream was pushed away when his job had become his life. When Amanda finally told him that the baby was his, so many emotions hit him.
He peaked his head in to see if there were any other visitors. He planned his visit purposely in the evening to avoid being seen by anyone he knew especially anyone from the SVU. The sun had set and the night nurse was getting report with the day team so the timing couldn't have been any better. He could slip in and out, without making any waves.
Looking in he noticed all the flowers and cards decorated around the small room, surrounding the bed. A tray of barely eaten food at the side of the table. The television playing some rerun of a reality show. The lights dimmed. There she was in the middle of all the clutter, fast asleep.
Her light blonde hair was tied in a bun on top of her head. A few loose strands framing her face. Dark circles rimmed under her eyes, she was exhausted.
Declan decided to not wake her, seeing on how peaceful she looked. That and how she probably hadn't gotten much rest in the past few months. He placed the small bouquet of lilies on her bedside table. She had mentioned that she liked them once.
He wanted to make his stay short and be on the next redeye out before anyone noticed he was gone. His next big get together was tomorrow night with a new shipment of girls and he had to be there for it. He would sleep on the plane and be ready to meet at the normal warehouse that they always did.
As he turned to leave a nurse came in rolling one of the hospital bassinets in.
"It's feeding time." She whispered noticing that Amanda was asleep.
Declan looked down into the bassinet. His eyes met the icy blue ones of his two-day old daughter.
He never thought he could love something so much in such a short time. She was so small and delicate, wrapped in a pink blanket. It was crazy to think that this tiny person he was looking at was a part of him. It was truly amazing. His heart was just melting. This baby girl in front of him was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
He was speechless.
"You must be the dad." The nurse with a big smile on her face.
Declan didn't say anything which confirmed the nurses question, more like statement.
"Amanda said you wouldn't show but I had some faith." She said walking over to the sink to wash her hands. The woman wore burgundy scrubs and had her dark hair in a tight bun. She was much shorter than him. She walked up to him with the bassinet in between them. He barely noticed, his eyes still fixed on the tiny human.
"Did you want to hold her?"
"Um I don't know" He wanted to but he didn't want to cause a scene or really know how to hold a baby. He was slightly put off by the question because this woman had so much trust in him. He could be lying through his teeth about who he was and this nurse could be passing a baby to a random person.
Most of his days he was the man who had ice in his veins. It was a part, but a part he had gotten used to being. His undercover profile was a man he never wanted to be. He was a predator and a villain. Each time he got home he would look in the mirror convincing himself that he was not that man. He was Lieutenant Declan Murphy, one of the good guys. Every time it got harder to believe himself.
"Here." She picked her up and carefully placed her into his arms, positioning him on how to support her head. He had never held something so fragile, being sure to be as gentle as possible.
"See. You're a natural." The nurse winked.
As he looked down at again at infant in his arms he noticed around her small wrist was a ID band. He took it in his fingers and read it.
Rollins, J.
"Jesse." He heard behind him.
Declan turned around to see Amanda looking at him. A small smile on her face.
"Hi." He smiled back at her.
"Hey." She responded.
He walked over to the bed and leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
"She's beautiful."