Five thousand…four thousand…three thousand…two thousand…one thousand…Not working…Try something else…a bulkhead door, push everything behind that and seal it shut…damn it!
Her mind was actively trying to push the panic away, desperately trying to clear her mind of it all but her body was struggling not to show the signs, especially as she struggled to stop the panic from rising up.
It all started from one simple thought and from there things spiralled out of control and now here she was, sitting in a hall of over two hundred people all watching what was going on at the stage and she was in the middle of it all, near the front.
Her hand started grabbing the flesh of her exposed thigh, just trying to find something to ground herself but it wasn't working.
Head down she attempted to count again, trying to get her mind to calm down but it still wasn't working, nor was gripping her leg…she needed to get out of here…she didn't want to leave but she needed to…she needed to go calm down.
Shaking slightly, she turned to her friend next to her, she found concerned eyes looking at her, the silent question in the other woman's eyes but it became obvious when she saw her wide eyes.
The woman panicking was Ruby Rose, and she was sitting in the middle of the hall at an award ceremony for a dozen or so people, several of whom were her friends but instead of concentrating her mind had drifted and then her panic had set in.
The other woman sitting next to her was Neopolitan Gelato, her closest friend. She saw what was happening and had an idea what was going on with Ruby but when she saw Ruby's wide eyes and panicked look she knew what was happening.
Reaching out Neo grabbed Ruby's hand, pulling it into her lap and immediately began drawing a pattern on the back of Ruby's hand.
Throw it down, look away. Don't be scared, it's okay. Settle down, set it right. Don't be scared, its alright.
Ruby looked at the pattern Neo was drawing, she knew the pattern. She had used it dozens of times herself to calm herself with differing degrees of success but feeling Neo drawing it on her hand, it helped.
She didn't need to tell Ruby to focus on her, she just stared at her hand as Neo continued drawing a figure of eight on her hand.
It was something random she had found on the internet, just something where you are following the motions of the symbol, it gave you something to focus on, something to take away the panic.
Now with Neo drawing it on her hand it helped her, she was following the motions with her eyes and slowly was starting to calm down.
Warmth spread from her hand through her body, as Neo squeezed her hand as well as draw on it. Her panic slowly settled down, but it was still there.
The touch was helping Ruby, she could feel it helping her and so she decided to try something else. Leaning her head down, she placed her head against Neo's shoulder, still looking down at her hand and she shifted her hand around so she could interwind her fingers with Neo's.
Neo followed Ruby without breaking her stride, her fingers interwind she made sure Ruby's hand was on top while she leaned her cheek against Ruby's head, keeping her attention on the stage as she knew that Ruby hated the attention.
They were slowly getting towards the end of the ceremony and neither woman had moved at all. It was the final speech now and Ruby wasn't paying attention to any of it, hadn't been for a while now.
As the ceremony ended and everyone got up to leave, Ruby and Neo remained sitting down. Neither woman made a move to leave as they instead chose to stay as they were.
"Hey." Neo said breathily, keeping her voice quiet to not startle Ruby.
"I…thank you…Just thank you, that…it helped more then you'll know." Ruby replied just as softly, though made no move to go anywhere yet.
"Do you want to head out?" Neo asked, continuing to draw the eight on Ruby's hand.
"In a minute." Ruby replied, she wanted to savour this moment of peace for as long as she could because she knew that it could quite possibly be a while until the next time.
"Just say when." Neo answered with a gentle smile.
Throw it down, look away.
Don't be scared, it's okay.
Settle down, set it right.
Don't be scared, its alright.
A/N
This sprang about because I was RTXL last weekend and during I panel I started having a panic attack. I ended up leaving the panel and heading out but a friend of mine, (Who I really hope doesn't read this in a way.) Helped me out, immediately I got a message asking if I was alright and they were just understanding.
To be honest this is just something cute and fluffy I thought of the other day. Panic attacks suck, they really do and it's been a while since I had one, and well the person is the first that has actually known I've had one. There are other things, but those are more personal so I'm not sharing them.
The figure of eight thing is something I came across and have been using for a while now, and I'm sure my leg has an imprint of it by now.
Enough about that, I hope you enjoyed and until next time.
The song that's used is At a glance by Message to Bear. It's mainly instrumental with a little bit of singing.