A/N Heyy I just thought I give writing my own Gilmore girls fanfic a go this isn't perfect but the idea came to me yesterday and I had to write it hope you all like.

Monstergirl

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

This is the way I think this part of the second to last episode should have gone, well an alternative way at least if Jess where to still leave.

UPDATE: now Beta'd

Standing at the bus stop, Rory kept replaying the events from two nights ago around and around in her head. To be honest, she knew it would happen at some point- everyone in Stars Hollow was waiting for something like that to happen. Even now she didn't understand her mom's reaction to it, which was to sing "You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings" to her, loudly, to which she proceeded to ignore her and pretend Lorelai didn't belong to her.

She just felt sorry for Kyle's parents, their house was trashed and the fence, god the fence, and poor drunken Lane was still annoyed she couldn't remember most of it. It was her first party and she wasn't within sound mind for the most part, well the last part anyway. Rory had had to give her a play by play of everything that had happened whilst she was incoherent. Mrs. Kim was still acting weird with her, Lane was about to go insane. Hmm, she should probably call her after school she thought, making a mental note to do so.

She could still remember Jess' face as he had walked away from her that night and it made her heart ache. She knew she shouldn't have run to Dean when she did- that was the worst thing she could have done. She knew that if they would have been anywhere else she'd have been ready to be with him, she just didn't want her first time to be in some random guy's house, on a random bed, in a random room. Thinking back she knew Jess was bothered about something, the way she had acted wasn't right but maybe if she hadn't have over reacted or talked it over with him things wouldn't have blown up.

She had done the same thing when he had turned up at her grandma's house with a black eye. She still felt guilty about that, she should have trusted him and she jumped to conclusions. God, she even went to ask Dean! She'd never found out the truth about what had happened with his eye but as long as it didn't have anything to do with Dean then it was, well maybe not okay, but better at least.

She sighed and grabbed her change out of her pocket as the bus pulled up at the stop, passing the money to the driver as he handed her a ticket.

"Thanks "she murmured as she made her way to a seat towards the front of the bus, her mind wandering as the bus doors hissed and pulled closed. As the bus drove on Rory noticed how busy the bus was today, a lot more so than usual, and glancing out the window and back around the bus she fidgeted in her seat, not able to get comfortable, not able to push the thoughts of Jess out of her mind.

Speak of the devil...

As the bus pulled up to its next stop and people began to file off the bus, the mass of people becoming sparser. She glanced back toward the end of the bus intending to turn away, then turned back. There he sat, his eyes just meeting hers, then he looked away looking awkward and unnecessary, the look on his face made it obvious he didn't know where to look, until he finally relented and met her gaze square on, their eyes locked.

She pushed herself up out of the hard bus seat and slowly made her way to the back of the bus, their gazes never breaking. Jess knew he should tell her, he knew he shouldn't just take off and leave, but he was never good at expressing his feelings, so as she got closer to him he kept shifting in his seat, deliberating what to do. He merely placed the book he had been attempting to read on the seat next to him and waited to she got to his side.

"Hey"

"Hey" Rory smiled slightly, her brow furrowing as she watched him smile half heartedly without completely meeting her eyes.

"Can I sit?"

"Sure, sit. I thought you took an early bus" he muttered, sounding surprised, worried and maybe happy? Finally he looked up and met her eyes, and as he did they could both feel the tension between them, all the unspoken words floating in the air.

"My first class got cancelled today" she said, for some reason feeling the need to clarify this.

"Oh, so what's been going on?" He said, attempting to make small talk, and stop the awkwardness; it didn't really help.

"Nothing much. Fran died- I went to her funeral yesterday" she answered, thinking back to the funeral, then quickly bringing her mind back to the present.

"Luke went too"

"I saw him there. He was in the back" She nodded, as she remembered seeing him there, both falling silent. There was a long pause before anyone said anything more, tension and an unusual awkwardness filling the air around them.

"I can't go to the prom. I couldn't get tickets, wasn't allowed..." he trailed off, turning his head away, he felt ashamed, he knew she deserved to go to a prom and wear a beautiful dress with the perfect escort, now she wouldn't be able to do that, and he felt guilty. He knew he wasn't good enough for her and this just confirmed it, he couldn't even graduate high school, yet here she was going to an Ivy League college.

"Oh."

"Sorry."

She didn't say it was okay, because they both knew it wasn't, and she now knew what was wrong with him at the party; he wasn't graduating. She looked to down by his feet and saw his duffel bag. He was leaving, and he wasn't going to say anything. She frowned. He needed this, in that moment they both knew it , as much as it hurt to see him leave she knew it was the right thing for him to do. She didn't know what he was doing about school or Luke and she didn't ask, instead, she looked out the window, seeing they were nearly at her stop.

"This is my stop."

"Okay"

"Take care of yourself" his head snapped up, and she gave him a small smile. He was just sat there with a bewildered look on his face, she knew, she knew he was leaving, and she wasn't shouting, crying or any of the above, not that Rory ever was the shouting or bawling type of girl. He was going to miss her.

"Sure" he said and before he could think about it he blurted. "I'll call you."

The bus was nearly at her stop and she didn't want to say goodbye, she wasn't ready to say goodbye. So she simply said "I love you" lent down, kissed his cheek and walked to the bus doors just as it pulled to a stop and the doors hissed open. She looked back and they shared one final smile before she disembarked. He watched out the window as she got smaller and smaller as the bus got farther away before he turned away and picked the book back off the seat. He opened it and attempted to read some Hemmingway, but he was feeling too keyed up to concentrate.

He would call her, he'd get his life together, then he'd call her, because she loved him and he loved her too. He'd become the kind of guy she deserved, but right now he needed to get away from it all from Luke, Stars Hollow- everything. But right now, at this very second, none of it mattered because she had told him she loved him.

A/N Hope you liked!

Monstergirl