"Master Yoda..." Luke asked. "I see a lot of people from Earth asking Frank Oz if Bert and Ernie are gay. What do you think about that? Do you believe that Ernie and Bert are a gay couple and all?"
"Who the fuck cares, they are fucking muppets, lol." Master Yoda wisely replied. "People from earth should be plotting armed insurrection against the corporations and those motherfucking thieving billionaries that are killing their planet instead of indulging their minds in such kind of trivial nonsense. That's the problem of your generation, Luke: If young people had the same level of dedication they put on their headcanons in defending the planet and their future, then the power would not be in the hands of rich assholes that are more than ready to burn the world for their personal gain. Fucking arses, buying underground houses in order to elude the consequences of their greed while the rest of the world and mankind gets fucked by climate change and perpetual war.
They have no soul, they have no shame, and they are lying when they claim to believe in any kind of god, since their true religion is the kind of jingoistic corporate capitalism that allows them to treat people like cattle, and the only god they truly worship is the almighty dollar. All of them belong to guillotine. All and each one of them, including their horrible, over-privileged offspring that still refuses to acknowledge the evil ways of their fascist parents.
Fucking hell, why people from earth is having flame wars about muppets when the North Pole is melting, when so many animal species are slowly disappearing, while many innocent civilians (including kids and babies) are being killed by drones in the Middle East in the name of "freedom", while Youtube , Facebook and other online platforms are raising an entire generation of neonazis and incels who want to turn The Handmaid's Tale into a reality, and when their planet seems to be on the verge of World War 3 thanks to the narcissism of a certain orange goblin? Who the fuck would care about motherfucking muppets taking all these things in their consideration? Who else will make a big deal of this, but the kind of person who constantly lives with their backs turned to the realities of today? I guess that's what we get for allowing Disney to turn "escapism" into complete avoidance."
"Gee, Master Yoda. I was only asking." Luke replied.
And they both remained completely silent for the rest of the afternoon.