Ah, Edward. How must dost I love thou?
Answer = So much. :D
I always thought it was so cute that he never had a girlfriend before Bella, and also very sad when I thought of his loneliness. So, this time of enlightenment for him, I figured, must be pretty wonderful, and hey-ho, what a nice and fluffy one-shot it made :D I sincerely enjoyed writing this, especially because I love Edward Cullen to pieces and actually managing to write something marginally successful in his POV I think makes this a good day :D Plus, I don't think SM gives us enough happy Edward, and happy Edward makes me warm inside :D He's just too cute when he smiles. Did you see at the end of New Moon, when he asked Bella the question? He looked so dastardly evil then it made me grin cos he was so totally 'bwahahahahah'-ing in his head :D.
Anyway...I love you, Edward! Yay! You're not all angst and doom and gloom! You are also unfailingly adorable :P
DISCLAIMER - SM owns all.
Hope you guys still want to read after my Edward rant :D
Read on, my brave warriors!
Edward had never understood.
Love, that is.
He had seen it around him, sure: he had tasted its sweetness in stolen moments, scooped a left-behind piece of it from the floor, caught and held it in his hands. He had studied and turned it over and over, searching for a key, for a reason; to make some sense of it...but he had never understood. He would watch it unfold around him, watch his family exult in it together, glancing up every now and again to find it staring him in the face, sweet and sultry and tempting but always too far out of his reach – it belonged to his family, but not to him.
He knew how to love – he felt the love of his mother, father, his sisters and brothers, surrounding him and cushioning him, their smiles filled with warmth; but he had seen how they could smile. He had seen that joy in their eyes, the deep, burning gold that sometimes engulfed them all; in some moments he could almost imagine them to be walking points of light, of golden sunshine that streamed from every crack, from every part of their beings. Even in humans, walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand; he could see it in them too. Unadulterated sunshine.
He had never truly understood. Never seen or completely comprehended how anyone could feel that way about another – for him, he had gathered, it was physically impossible. Somehow, they all deserved and had been given what he knew to be the most precious gift of all.
And he would never understand.
He was cold inside. Unfeeling – even the love he felt for his family, and they for him, dimmed in comparison to what they felt for each other. He knew what that bond was, but he had just never understood it. Never understood how it could be. He had never imagined he would have that with someone else; he, undead and immortal, frozen in eternity, would deserve something as wonderful and golden. Besides, who would ever choose him?
It had been more than mildly surprising when he had found her. One look, and the ice in him had cracked. Suddenly, in just one of her smile's time, he had been a changed man. He had been enlightened, and he had never imagined that there would be so much light.
She had chosen him, and then he had kissed her – and nothing would ever be the same again.
The world seemed on fire; alight with a million stars, with a million burning suns, his world ablaze with colour and light. He had never imagined anything could be so beautiful. To him, she was the most stunning creature in existence. Everything she did, anything she said, had him exulting in love for her – he would have done anything for her. Anything.
He had never imagined he could be so happy.
It was then, on that discovery, that he finally understood where that golden light came from.
Unadulterated happiness.
He was grateful. More grateful than he thought he could ever be – something or someone had brought her into existence, and for that, he would thank that being over and over again, because nothing could be worth more to him than her. It was a positive miracle that she existed – it was a miracle that someone could make him feel the way he did. He had never imagined that her smile would make his deadened heart sing, or that even her touch was always enough to make him want to pull her to him and simply have her body next to his, lest he should go up in flames.
The irony in that, of course, was incredibly amusing.
Then she would kiss him, and he would find out that sunshine burned.
But the burns were worth it. The heat and passion he felt for her were nothing less than exhilarating; he felt so alive. He would touch her, and he would feel her heart race, and it would seem as if his heart were attempting to beat, to pulse, to match the rhythm of hers. To accompany that hunger that drove him to kiss her, to defy the thirst inside him just so he could share in her warmth and attempt to satisfy his cravings for her. The thirst and the hunger were so different, and having to struggle against them both was worth the soaring joy when he let go, when he allowed himself to indulge in the only one he could ever let himself indulge in.
And if there was one thing, the most important thing that he had never imagined would be, it was this.
He had never imagined someone could mean so much to him. Had never believed he could love someone so much that it would hurt to be away from her – that having her away from him felt like he was starved of air, or water. Ironic, since he didn't need them, but nonetheless.
He had never imagined someone could make him feel. He had never imagined he could feel as he did about anyone.
He had never imagined that he could ever feel alive again.
He was holding her, smiling down at her sleeping form, and his eyes drifted closed. He felt so calm and contented, love for her streaming through every crack, every part of his being. The feeling she gave him; the peace she gave him.
It was nearly enough that he, undead and immortal, frozen in eternity, wrapped up in her fragile, warm arms, holding him tighter than he could ever have imagined, could finally drift to sleep.
*Sighs*. I love him so much it's almost unreal.
Have you guys seen New Moon? I'll tell you what I thought of it.
FREAKING FANTASTIC!
I loved what Chris Weitz did with it - with all the bright colours, the drama, the slow mo, how close it stuck to the plotline...the music especially was great, as it added that extra bit into the scenes when, in Twilight, it was just complete silence and it got a little awkward :D Of course, I would have loved more vampires, and hopefully in eclipse they'll do just that. There has not been NEARLY enough Cullen time - especially Emmett time - in either of the movies. I liked how Edward had many more emotions as well in this movie - from happiness at the beginning (lots of ExB kissing time as well :P) to that brooding, to when he crushed the phone (heart broke for him then, seriously - then and when he broke up with Bella he looked so deathly sad) to the reunion (again, of course I loved that bit!) to the awesome slow-mo vampire fighting to the DASTARDLY EVIL EDWARD ASKING BIG QUESTIONS IN A SUIT. Thought Kristen, Rob, Taylor and all the other actors (especially Ashley) did a great job, as well as Mike who was so awkward and puppy-like it made me laugh :D. Could have done with less standing in the rain shirtless thought, Taylor Lautner - had a pretty hard time retaining my Team Edward and Rob-ness when you REFUSED to put on a shirt and cover up those tanned abs. Sigh. Though I suppose you Team Taylor's liked it, right? Personally I just love Rob's face - total perfection, if you ask me. Sigh. LOVE. HIM.
What a marshmallow.
:D
ADORED. THAT. FILM. SO GOING TO WATCH IT AGAIN.
What did you all think of it?
Oh...hope you enjoyed the one-shot! You know I write it just for you guys, cos i luurrveeee youuuuu! HEARTS to you all :D
Love, ATO xxxx