((A/N: This is dedicated to my brother. Italics are flashbacks.
((Summery: When Ed comes across Envy holding a gun to his own head, something inside him snaps. The Alchemist has seen too many deaths- how could he let the Sin take is own life right infront of him? EdxEnvy
If everyone cared
And nobody cried
If everyone loved
And nobody lied
If everyone shared
And swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day
Where nobody died.
One-shot.
How could such a small little thing cause so much harm? It sure didn't look too dangerous. The eldest Homunculi gazed down at the revolver clutched tightly in his hand, the dark hole where the bullet passed through aiming innocently at his face…what could it hurt?
Who was he kidding, anyways? He'd used one of these before, saw the horror it caused and enjoyed it. But now…Envy closed his eyes tightly as a gust blew his long emerald hair about his pale face.
No one would miss him…although, aside from Greed (who would be positively over joyed) he wasn't quite sure how the other Sins would react to his decision. The Elric brothers would probably never notice he was gone, and surely Dante nor Hohenheim, his bastard of a father, would care. He didn't have anyone.
It was such an easy way out, such a ready option. Envy directed the gun to the grassy surface beneath his feet and curled one long, slender finger around the trigger. If only he could aim the cold metal machine at himself, then it would be all over. He wouldn't have to feel so alone every single day of his pitiful life. He opened beautiful heliotrope eyes and applied pressure with his pointer finger. The gun fired with a loud bang.
The sound did nothing to improve the Sin's already frazzled nerves. The cool air sent chills up his spine and the breeze cause him to give a violent shudder. Homunculi were not supposed to feel such trivial things as temperature.
"Do you want to know why your father left us? He left because of you! Because his son was a monster!" Dante screamed at his young, prone form.
"Mom…I didn't mean to mess up Father's papers, honest. I just wanted to see what he was so busy with all the time. Mother, please…don't cry," Envy held out his hand, only to have it slapped away harshly.
"You've ruined everything. Don't come near me."
"But I wanted to be just like Father!"
Dante regarded him coldly, tears streaming down her perfect face. "You have no heart. I hate you."
If he had no heart, then why had that hurt so much?
He stared, transfixed, at the slightly steaming hole in the ground that the bullet had created.
XXX
The State Alchemist halted in his tracks as he heard the distinctive sound of a gun shot in the distance.
"Niisan?" Alphonse asked, coming to a stop beside him. "What is it?"
Edward held up his hand for silence and listened for another shot, but none came. He sighed.
He and Al were staying with their teacher, Izumi Curtis, in Dublith and had gone out for a few food supplies by special order of Mrs. Curtis herself ("GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, YOU WORTHLESS BRATS, AND BRING BACK EVERYTHING ON THAT LIST OR ELSE I'LL FORCE FEED YOU MILK WITH A TUBE DOWN YOUR THROAT FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!"), when they decided to take a detour and enjoy a bit of the scenery before they were forced back to their chores.
Half and hour of walking later found the Elrics in a vast green grassy meadow which they presumed deserted until approximately twenty five seconds ago when someone not too far away fired a gun.
"Do you think it's the military?" Al inquired.
"Not sure," the older of the two admitted as he cracked his knuckles. "Even if it was them, they shouldn't be out here."
"Guess we'll find out."
And they did.
It had not been a long journey headed in the direction of the noise until both brothers froze. Naturally, they had come to expect the worse (I mean, honestly. After everything they've been through), but nothing, nothing like this.
Scenes keen as always, Envy had known the two had been coming momentarily before they had arrived. This had surprised the Sin- what were they doing here? What would they say?
But it was too late, anyways. The Homunculus had long before made up his mind- his life was not worth living, and nothing anyone could say would change that. Not that the Smellrics would have anything encouraging to say. They would probably egg him on and then sit back and watch.
He wasn't sure wasn't sure what would happen, and as much as he hated to admit it, the androgynous Sin was alittle nervous. If he was revived after the deed had been done, he'd just have to keep shooting until he ran out of lives.
Despite all the inside turmoil, Envy never lost his cool infront of his enemies. He waved the in the air, and, ignoring the tin can brother, shouted: "Hey! O'Chibi!"
The first thing that Ed saw was the revolver and in seconds he had transmuted his right arm into a blade, muttering a nearly inaudible: "What the?"
The blonde was far from an idiot- he could add two and two together. Nothing ever good came of a gun, especially when wielded by someone as psychotic as Envy. But…something was wrong. Though the green haired teen had used a gun before, it just wasn't his style. He had used one to kill Maes Hughes, but he had been in a different form than his own. It would have looked funny if gentle Gracia leapt forward, claws and teeth bared.
This time Envy was…Envy. Scantily clad and very much himself.
But different.
Knowing that it would be impossible to fight or even defend himself when the two were so far away from each other, Ed wasted no time in closing the distance by darting towards the Sin, blade eager to pierce, leaving behind an anxious Al ("Be careful, Brother!"). Besides, one can't use a gun in such close proximity.
"I've had enough of you, Envy! You're more trouble than your worth."
Envy easily dodged the tip of Ed's sword-arm by simply stepping out of the way. "Is that any way to greet your brother, O'Chibi?" He purred sweetly.
"The fact that we have the same father nauseates me," the Alchemist growled, regaining his stance. "I hate you."
The Sin smirked, but inwardly it was like being kicked when you're down and injured. Those words again. I hate you. It was amazing how three little words like that could hurt so damn much.
"You had better wipe that smirk off your face before I do it for you," Ed warned, and with that, he clapped his hands together and a show of blue light rose around him. The ground rumbled menacingly under Envy and a second later a mountain of earth shot up which the Homunculus avoided by performing a few impressive back flips and landing gracefully a couple feet away.
"Same tricks as always, I see," Envy said, heaving his thin shoulders and looking bored, paying no attention as to where the hand gun was pointed.
"Shut up!" Ed snapped, though he noted in slight confusion that none of Envy's remarks held their usual bite. "It ends here!"
But before he could attack again, the green haired teen spoke up, halting his actions.
"Your right for once, Full Mental. I'm proud."
Edward's golden eyes narrowed. "Put the gun down and we'll let you go- this time."
"Watch out, Niisan," Alphonse said quietly from behind him.
Envy said nothing, but he smiled a small, sad smile. His purple hued eyes shone with something Ed refused to believe was really there, and he found himself taking a step back in surprise.
The Sin hitched the revolver into the air so that it was aimed directly at Ed's chest. The Alchemist's whole body stiffened and was ready to leap out of the way at any given moment.
"I'm not after you, Edo," Envy whispered.
The flaxen haired teen blinked. "Your n-not?" He stammered.
"Nah," He sighed dismissively and redirected the hand gun so that the barrel was resting against his own head, just above his ear. "Not you."
XXX
Izumi Curtis was a tough woman. She could stomach a lot of things, but the absolutely defeated look upon Edward Elric's face as he slowly opened the door to her house made her heart stop. Al followed, both trudging inside, backs hunched over, eyes hollow.
"Have…Have you two been digging?" She asked incredulously, noticing the grass stains on the blonde's trousers and the dirt under his fingernails.
"What are you doing?!" Ed cried, voice cracking.
Envy rolled his eyes and cocked the gun, making the State Alchemist jump. "I thought that would have been obvious, O'Chibi."
But nobody paid her any mind, not even a glance. Before they could start ascending the stairs to retreat into the room that they shared, their teacher stopped them.
"Where are the groceries?" She asked softly, though the boys knew that that was not what she was asking.
"Don't want to talk about it," Ed murmured.
Not another word was exchanged as the brothers disappeared up the stairs, and they were still silent as the locked themselves in the spare room, and sat on their respective beds. The first movement in what seemed an eternity was from Ed, who let out a gusty breath and scratched under his braid. Then he buried his face in his hands.
"Niisan?" Alphonse bravely broke the silence.
"Do you have any idea," Ed hoarse voice whispered, muffled slightly by his palms. "Do you have any idea how bad it must have been for him to have done that?"
"But…But why?!" Ed demanded.
"As if you care."
"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't."
Al stood up and padded over to his older brother and laid a comforting hand on his quivering shoulder. "Its okay, Brother. Please don't be upset. Envy will be happy now."
Ed sat up and gave a small nod, but Al was taken aback but the unshed tears glistening in his brother's amber eyes. Al had seen Roy Mustang turn down a hot girl more times than he'd seen Edward cry.
"Its alittle late now, don't you think?"
"It's never too late!" Ed argued. "You don't have to do this. It doesn't have to end this way."
The Sin let out a short, cold bark of laughter. It sounded distant.
"You were just about to kill me a few minutes ago. What's the difference?"
"I…I didn't know," The blonde hung his head, looking guilty.
"What is there to know, Edo?" Envy said almost mockingly.
"You're unhappy."
"It should never have gone so far," Ed mused, half to himself, half to his brother.
"No," Alphonse agreed.
"Oh, god, Al," the older teen muttered, finally cracking. "That was so awful…I was…so scared." He stood up in a rush and wrapped his arms around his brother's metal body, embracing him tightly.
Even though Alphonse was unable to physically feel the gesture, his heart felt the warmth of Edward's body and that was all he truly needed. Alphonse was happy. He had love. He carefully rested his arms over the blonde's shoulders and hugged him back.
Envy shrugged. "Anyone can feel unhappy. You're unhappy, aren't you?"
Golden eyes locked with amethyst. "I'm unhappy with what happened, but it's in the past, and all there is to do is keep working to fix it. I would never do this," He gestured awkwardly at Envy. "Take my own life. There are too many people who care about me."
"Then that's where we differ, Chibi."
"What do you mean?"
"People care about you."
"You're being irrational," Ed retaliated, but he still held his hands up in surrender. "Just…don't shoot."
"Well I can't bloody well hold this thing to my head all day- my arm is getting tired!" Envy complained, growing irritated.
"Please don't, Envy-san," Al pleaded.
A small smirk played at Envy's lips as he said his parting words:
"Oi, Edo. Kill Dad for me, alright?"
Edward pulled away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He turned away quickly in shame and muttered a quiet apology.
"Don't be sorry, Niisan. I'm sad, too."
In a flash of red, black, and blonde, Edward had leapt suddenly at the oldest of the Homunculi, effectively knocking him off balance and then landing on top of him. The gun fired, and Al screamed.
Recovering, Ed sat up, straddling Envy. The Sin had accidentally pulled the trigger as he fell, but luckily the shot was wasted, sending the bullet hurling into the air far above. The revolver was now laying a couple of inches just out of Envy's reach.
"AURGH, you stupid shit!" The green haired teen screamed in frustration. "Get off me!" He flailed his arms around wildly, pounding the ground with his fists and struggling furiously to try and get out from under the Alchemist.
"No," Was the deadly calm answer. "You're going to be the one to kill Hohenheim."
"I never asked for you to interfere!"
"You needed me to!"
"Get off."
"No!"
Envy stared, shocked, up at his brother. What the hell was going on? Just what was the Full Mental Idiot doing, exactly? Why was he acting like he gave a damn?
With a new burst of energy, Envy began squirming frantically again, reaching out his arms to try and grasp the hand gun. It was so close, yet so far…
Readjusting himself, Edward sat higher up on the teen's waist and kicked the gun away with his foot. As a result, Envy grew silent.
And then all Hell broke loose.
Envy pounded his fists upon Ed's chest, making the blonde wince ever so slightly as the form beneath him yelled profanities at the top of his lungs. Thinking quickly, Ed ceased all movement by leaning forward and wrapping his arms around the Sin's too thin shoulders, their bodies pressed flush together. Envy had frozen, his arms stopping completely to rest at his sides.
Ed had felt the body under him tense up, though he had not expected Envy to return the embrace. The Sin had probably never been hugged before…He didn't know what to do. He had been starved of something so basic…so necessary. Sighing sadly, the blonde teen touched his forehead to Envy's and closed his eyes. All was quiet save for the sound of Envy's ragged breathing. His breath was warm, dancing lightly on the side of Ed's face.
They stayed like that for awhile, neither of the two moving. Finally Ed sat up and returned his stare to those wide, lavender eyes full of shock. "…Envy?" He asked attentively, alittle worried.
When no response was given, Ed found himself planting his hands on the ground on either side of the Homunculus's head, demanding attention, curling his fingers and digging his nails mercilessly into the soil.
"Who are you envious of?" He hissed. Getting absolutely no reaction from the suicidal teen, he found himself bubbling over in frustration brought on by panic, and Ed found himself backhanding his brother harshly across the face. "Answer me!"
Envy glared defiantly at him, eyes flashing dangerously, as he uttered one word,
"You."
Suddenly the door to the spare room opened and Izumi let herself in. She took one look at Ed's tear-stained face and planted her hands on her hips.
"You're a mess."
That was the second time that day someone had told him that. Said mess looked up and gave her a wobbly smile. "Everything will be alright now."
She cocked a brow. "Is that so?"
Edward nodded. "Yeah. We did what we had to do."
"I'm glad," Izumi said, deadpan. "Because now that that's out of the way, you can get a move on with you chores."
Ed didn't know what to say. Envy was envious of him? But why? He decided to voice his question, his words slurring a little bit.
"Because, dear Edo, you have everything that I don't. You have people who actually give a damn whether you're dead or alive, people who don't just use you as a pawn in a game of chess. I'm just a tool, incase you haven't noticed. I have no soul. I have no meaning in life."
"How can you say that?" Ed bit his lip as he felt tears sting his eyes.
"Because it's true- my own father didn't have the time of day for me, and my mother is a slimy conniving bitch who would run down any one else just to get what she wants."
"But I don't even have parents!"
"You have our father. Hohenheim loves you," Envy spat and brought his hand up to gently prod the skin where Edward had hit him.
The blonde snorted. "You're not missing much. I wish that guy had never been apart of my life."
"What?!" Edward and Alphonse exclaimed in unison. "Can't you give us a break for once, Teacher?"
Izumi gave the boys a look that clearly said that she thought the idea was insane. "A break? You've been on a break the whole time you were gone."
"Oh, trust me, Teacher. We were working." The State Alchemist assured her in a weary voice.
"I care about you."
"…Excuse me?"
Ed held the Sin's gaze and refused to let it go. "You heard me."
"Well I did here something but it was obviously just my imagination or something," Envy said, and stuck a pinky finger in his ear for emphases.
"You aren't going to touch that gun," The blonde explained slowly, making sure that the restless Sin under him caught every word and understood it. "Because…I care about you. I care what happens to you."
He let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding.
Envy looked completely gob smacked to say the least. Inside, his mind was working frantically, trying to make sense of the Alchemist's words. They…they weren't true. He was lying. Edward Elric was the son of Hohenheim- they were the same. The same uncaring pricks underneath it all.
"That was a nice one-eighty, Full Metal Shorty. Thanks for wasting my time," Envy snarled at last, finally snapping out of his thoughts. "Now kindly pass me the damn gun and maybe we can get on with our days?"
"Don't care," Izumi said, unable to hide her smirk of amusement, and thrust a mop into the unwilling hands of Edward and a bucket into his Al's.
"Teacher!"
The dark haired woman shook her head and pointed out the door. Sighing and grumbling in submission, the brothers made their way around her at the speed of slugs.
Above him, Envy heard Ed's breath hitch. The Sin rolled his eyes and looked away. The moment passed silent, and Envy was vaguely aware of Al standing alittle ways off, watching the whole scene gravely, his metal hands clasped together in hope. They would give up soon. The Chibi couldn't sit on him all day.
Envy was just about to mentally complain about the uncomfortable weight on his hips when something wet hit him on his cheek. For his own sake, that pipsqueak had better not have just drooled on him or there'd be Hell to pay…
But his rage stopped dead in his tracks and was replaced by confusion as he returned his lilac gaze to Ed's face. The blonde was biting his lip so hard that it looked like he might spill blood and his eyes were screwed tightly shut with tears steaming steadily down his face.
"What do I have to do…?" Ed whispered fiercely, shaking slightly. "To get it through your head?"
Envy decided to say nothing at all, getting an inkling that if he back-talked he might get hurt. Besides, Chibi wasn't finished just yet.
Ed's golden eyes flew open as he continued.
"There. Now you have people who give a damn whether you're alive or not- Al and I. Now, if I'm not mistaken, your name is Envy, not Greed. That should be enough for you to keep going. Knowing that people are putting all their effort into making you worth it. So quit being such a selfish idiot and think about someone other than yourself!"
The Alchemist's voice continued to rise until he had reached a yell at his very last words. He was panting slightly, glaring down at a thoroughly stunned Homunculus, just daring him to say something smart back.
Envy's head was reeling, and all of a sudden he found himself feeling a tad dizzy. This was all so…odd. And new. No one had ever spoken those words to him in such a manner before. But why would the Shorty go through all this trouble if he didn't mean it? It didn't make sense. But before he could do anything about it, he felt the agonizing weight lift off of his lower body. His skin felt cold as the wind touched upon where the warmth of Ed used to be. The next thing he knew, he was being offered a hand. He looked up.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" He urged the Sin, blond locks falling into his eyes. He'd cleaned up his face- smudged away the water works with the back of his fist. "I'll help you up."
Envy eyed the hand wearily, but decided not to take it. No need to bruise the ego more then you had to. He hoisted himself up and dusted off any little pieces of grass that were sticking to his body.
Envy could see the dejected look in Full Metal's eyes, even though he was doing his best to hide it. Ed smiled and in the next millisecond flung himself into the green haired teen's arms to engulf him in an embrace for the second time in less than ten minutes. Said green haired teen sighed and enjoyed the feeling for a moment before pushing Ed away, although not roughly.
"Awh, come on, O'Chibi-san. I get the point. We don't need to hug and kiss," Envy drawled, raising an eyebrow.
A pink tinge painted Edward's cheeks as he coughed and looked away in embarrassment. But then realization hit him and he whirled back to face the Sin.
"W-What did you just say?"
"Now look who has the hearing problems."
"Shaddup," The teen who was vertically challenged snapped, all the while his face morphing to look more and more excited by the second. "You…you really get it?"
"If we must repeat ourselves over and over again, then yes, I get it." He replied, sounding exasperated. "But seriously…go home. You look like shit."
Edward broke out into a full-fledged grin. He laughed despite himself, and Alphonse approached cautiously, coming to stand beside his brother. When the blonde recovered, he looked up to see Envy walking away.
"Envy! Wait- where are you going?" He called after the Sin.
Envy stopped and turned around. "Home?" He answered as if it were obvious.
"Oh," Ed's face grew serious once more. "Um…good-bye, then."
"Good-bye, Envy-san!" Al chimed in cheerily and waved a hand in farewell.
Envy stood for a moment, contemplating, a smirk pulling at his lips. Finally, he gave them a two-fingered mock-salute and turned, walking as gracefully as liquid into the sunset. Walking past the discarded gun.
"That jerk. He didn't even bother saying thanks," Ed mumbled darkly as he did a half-assed job on the kitchen floor.
Alphonse just laughed. "Envy's going to be okay now, Niisan, I know it."
Ed stopped and looked at his brother. "What makes you so sure?"
"He knows someone cares. Someone proved it to him."
R&R?