Sort of sad L/J fic, just came to me all the sudden. My bestie better review too! *glares at ani-chan or whatever your user it.
Disclamer: Don't own, excuse me while I go sulk, Tamaki style.
Lily Evans was silently crying as she looked out her window into the night sky. Instead of patrolling she was using the "Marauders Map" as James called it. Sigh, James that insufferable prick, with a head the size of Hogwarts itself. He insisted all the time that he was deeply and irrevocably in love with her. If he had the nerve to scream out his undying love for her, why didn't he have the nerve to convince her by not making out with every girl who asked?
Finally, when she was falling for him, he just had to go off and ruin it all. Lily looked down at the map and once again saw her reason for crying. The dot that labeled James was almost overlapping a rather plain raven claw, could only mean one thing. Lily tried biting her lower lip to stop the sobs from wracking her petite body. And for one of the few times in her life, she failed.
Talking to her self, as Lily could no longer contain the hurt pooling inside her, she half said half screamed. "Oh God! My heart, hurts so much!" The tears continued to run down her face, cascading and flowing in streaming rivulets. Not for the first time she considered turning the clear to red, her face to her arms and her emotional to physical. But with her last shreds of dignity and pride she kept herself from letting him reduce her to that.
The last thing she saw before she let the pain cloud her thoughts and her tears cloud her eyes, was James leading the girl to the room of requirement. Lily toppled out the seat, collapsing in pain as she tried to protect her heart from any more damage. I've felt the Cruciatus and this, this is worse. She would take that pain over and over again if her heart would be spared this pain.
This was the last straw, she couldn't handle it anymore. The fiery red head that James fell in and out of love with so long ago, was gone. Her strength that James had admired, had failed from to much of everything raining down upon it. Things can only last so long, as they stand alone. Lily's emerald eyes that he longed to stare into, were fading fast into little more than a color. This pain was taking her soul like a Dementor's kiss.
Maybe, if James cared, he could hurry back in time to save this girl who was so right for him in every way. If he cared about the "mud blood" he no longer defended, he could save her. Be her knight in shining armor, for if he doesn't run, he'll just be a boy in tin foil. What if all my friends were right? If he was just looking for fun, while I was looking for love? Is it true that boys and mascara always run? Lily thought with disbelief, she had always believed that James would be the one person in her life not to disappoint.
As the sobs she couldn't contain wracked her body, she cried out in pain. If only more people but her and Him (it hurt too much to even think his name) knew the password, someone could come end her pain for her. She couldn't even bring her self to move, for the unrequited love had paralyzed her.
Lily thought she was hallucinating, because she heard the portrait hole open and someone call her name. What did I do to deserve this? It sounded like his voice, his luscious silky voice that normally would fill her with unadulterated joy. She was now coming out of her pain haze enough to realize she was shrieking loud enough for anyone in the castle to hear her. Lily paid enough attention to him to know that this person, who couldn't be him, even had his footsteps.
The door swung open to her suite as he entered her suite to find a girl in such an appalling state, that it broke his heart too. "Lily?" Gods, he had no idea what this was doing to her. He rushed to her, pulling her fragile body into his arms. "Lily, who did this to you?" How did he not know? That all this pain was caused by him and she wanted to die because of it.
Taking the strength from somewhere she did not know she replied in a voice barely more than a whisper. "You, you caused this. My heart is in utter disrepair, I'll never be able to fix it." Even as she sat in his lap, she refused to look at him. "You're a monster, telling me you love me? You didn't mean it, but you meant to kill me inside." He made noises in protest, but she raised her hand to silence him. " Well it worked, in case you care anymore or at all. I fell for you, just in time to have my heart shattered. Your lies of love, and yes they are lies. Why else would you be with all those other girls? You know better than to think those tactics would work on me."
The sobbing once again took over her body, as though someone was controlling her from afar. No longer was the girl with iron resolve he had fallen in love with, and she was gone because of him. His mind was racing trying to think of a way to convince her that she wasn't just a plaything. He wasn't into her because he loved the chase, but because he wanted the prize at the end: Lily.
"Lily, I love you. Plain and simple. While I know now, I have caused you so much hurt and pain, I need you to know that I do. From the day I first saw you I knew, that you would be the only one for me. Those other girls were my distraction, because you caused me pain. You should know that while I was with them, I only wanted to be with you. Lily you have to know I would never intentionally hurt you like this, I thought you still hated me!" As he felt her shake her head as a no, he grabbed her chin to make her look him in the eyes. As soulful brown met hurting green he said, "Lily believe me."
Softly she said "I do, but how can I trust you? I don't even have anything to trust with, my heart is broken beyond repair!"
With his confidence rising he brushed the hair from her heart shaped face and leaned down closer to say "I'll fix it, nothing will stop me, from mending what I never should have broken. Now that I know you once loved me, maybe still do, I will repair anything wrong to make my dreams come true. Lily, because my dream is you." He leaned down as she leaned up to partake in the sweetest of all kisses, for their shattered hearts were on the mend. It would be hard to do, but they would fix each others hearts so no one could tell they were broken. For their wildest dreams were at last coming true. He was fixing her trust and stitching her heart, She was filling the void and mending his pride, they were fixing what shouldn't have been broken.