Two of a Kind
Leia Organa stared at the wall blankly. It had been mere hours since she had watched her home planet destroyed. Alderaan, in all its beauty. Sweeping parks, wide seas. Her home. Her father and mother. She couldn't comprehend what had happened. It couldn't be gone. She heard footsteps behind her but didn't move.
Hoki Mannings, an older woman who had come in with her daughter not long ago, sat beside her.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. Leia looked at her and tried to smile. It came out as a pained grimace. Hoki's eyes were infinitely sad.
"I am too," Leia said as she looked away. "I'm very sorry indeed."
"It hurts, doesn't it," Hoki said, brown eyes distant. "Knowing that you're one of the only ones left. That everyone you know is dead. That you can never go back, no matter how much you want to. No matter how much you miss them. No matter how much you want them back."
Leia stared, transfixed, at Hoki. She seemed to be seeing something that only she could see. Something ultimately painful. Something horrifying. There were tears in her eyes. Something she never wanted to relive, but had no choice about. Leia had the feeling she too was a survivor.
"They're all dead." Hoki said softly, and then she knew.
"You're a Jedi," she said in awe. Hoki half laughed, half cried, bitterly.
"For all the good it did." she said. For several minutes they were silent. Then Hoki spoke again.
"When Keira and I came in, you asked us why we wanted to join. I told you that Keira was the only family I had left." There was a pause. "That wasn't all, though it is true." The woman looked at her and in Hoki's eyes Leia saw her own pain.
"I never want to fight in a war again. Last time..." her voice trailed off and it took her a minute to find it again. "Last time was hell. But... the Empire needs to be overthrown... and if we don't fight... who will?" Leia sensed there was more so stayed silent.
"I want them back," Hoki said quietly.
"There are many things we can do, but I'm afraid that isn't one of them." Leia said with a small smile.
"I know. But maybe I can... honour them... do justice to their memories..." Hoki said, quietly. She bowed her head, but not before Leia saw the tears starting to leak down her cheeks.
"Yes, you can." Leia said. Hoki didn't reply, and she let the silence continue. But she just had to ask.
"Why didn't you tell me you were a Jedi?" she asked. Hoki looked up at her and snorted.
"You were only born at the end of the war; you can't know. You can't know the way common people perceived us. We were the ideal citizen; we were higher. Keepers of the peace; guardians of justice. We never made mistakes because we were above making mistakes. We never gave into our emotions; if we even had emotions." Hoki laughed bitterly. "What a load of bullshit."
"I understand. Any leader can sympathise." Leia said.
"You're revered because of who you are, not what you are," Hoki said. "We had no choice in the matter. We were Jedi so we were the stars. We were regarded almost as gods. Of course, that goes to show how quickly opinions can change." The woman stopped.
"The clones weren't bad. Just programmed. Some of them developed quite the personality. I knew one..." here she bowed her head and a tear slipped down her cheek. "He as quite funny. Great wit. Came to regard him as a friend, and I know he felt the same." There was a pause. "He was shot for refusing to kill us. Shot by his brother in the back." She sounded bitter, and Leia didn't blame her.
"So many children dreamed of been Jedi, of leading armies into battle." Hoki's voice sounded strangled. "They never knew what we really were. Peacekeepers. War went against everything we believed in. And the children wanted to be us so they could lead armies. So they could destroy. We never wanted to be generals."
"Even you, who never experienced our golden years, sounded awestruck when you realised I was a Jedi. It's amazing the number of people who don't even know what a Jedi is. Was."
"Is that a bad thing?" Leia asked. "You want obscurity, don't you?"
"I want to stop been hunted. But I don't want us to fade into oblivion. We can't. What we really are, really were, has to be preserved somehow. I trained Keira so she could pass it on. I continued the Jedi art of taking a Padawan." There was a long pause. "I was 14."
Leia stared, surprised. "14?" she asked. Hoki merely nodded.
"I was 11 when I went into the war. I wanted to be a healer. I became a soldier." Now she sounded close to tears. "I wanted to fix people, not kill them." She put her head in her hands. Leia looked on awkwardly. She had never felt the kind of pain Hoki was talking about, not even now. Her pain didn't come close.
"The Force hasn't been the same since. Always shadowed. Always dark. Keira's never known it as anything else. But once it was light, bright. I remember... it was so long ago. I was a child, and excited to be part of something so pure. But it was shadowed even then. Faint, but they grew." Hoki bit her lip. "I was always sensitive to the shadows, but my teachers told me I was been silly. But no one saw this coming. No one saw him falling..."
"Who?" Leia asked, gently.
"The Hero With No Fear. Skywalker. We idolised him, revered him. Him and Master Kenobi. They were legends."
"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Leia asked, startled. Hoki nodded, hope flaring in her brown eyes. "He died today, on the Death Star. After..." Hoki's face fell.
"No, not another one." She said, hopelessly. "It just isn't fair." Leia wished she could give the older woman comfort, but she was at a loose end.
"No, it isn't." She said.
"It's just not fair. Why must we suffer?" Leia didn't answer. There wasn't an answer she could give.
Without a further word, Hoki stood and left. Leia stared after her. She had kept her secret for a reason. "I never want to fight in a war again. Last time..." Both she and Keira had a right to their secrets. She would keep them too. Hoki had trusted her. She wouldn't betray that trust. After another minute, she too stood and left.
Please R&R!