Bug Bong Treaty
Its a Saturday evening, Sheldor is at home alone. He's on his calculator, ddoing mathematical activities.
Leenurd walks in, and yells out to Shieldon.
-Shekledon, I lost muh cat
Shildong doesn't turn away from his calculator.
-Shishding?
Shellos is still silent.
-Shamwow?
Shishkabob looks up at Leeknurd
-Schrödinger?
Shipdingaling smiles, and says:
-BEPZINKY
[The audience laughs]
Leenotard looks shocked.
-Um, Sheldo? Can u please help?
Shellin begins to furiously type into his calculator, and comes out with a long drawn out answer. He violently thrusts the calculator in front of Leenord's face. Shwaldo screams:
-E+7-68 to the power of 33 minus the square root of X, divided by triangle times 88 times cylinder=99
-Sh-Sheldon what are y-
-BARACUDA
[The audience laughs, much louder this time. The room is audibly vibrating]
The camera zooms in on leonard, who has a very shocked and scared look on his face.
Suddenly, Howard bursts through the door.
-Guys, me mum wants me to butter her feet bt I cant please help
Leonard stares at Sheldoor.
A thin smile spreads across Sheeldin's mouth.
-BANGLADESH
[The audience erupts into a MUCH, MUCH louder fit of laughter. The room is now visibly shaking, and the paint is starting to peel off]
Leonard is now clearly frightened, and a single tear goes down his face. Whoward appears to be confused.
-Sh-Sheldon?
At this moment Penny walks in, and Leonard looks at her.
-ShALdon's acting weird…
Penny laughs, and says:
-Lendurd, he's always acting weird!
Shenden dramatically turns to the camera and smiles.
-GERONIMO
[The audience's laughter becomes much louder than what should be humanely possible, the walls on the set begin to crack. For a split second, we see a close up of the audience, some of their ears are bleeding]
Everyone, except Shoshdom, appear extremely mortified at what is happening. Leonard looks like he is about to break down into tears.
Penis turns to Lonaord. Her face is one of pure and utter horror.
Hoewurd looks like he is about to go running out the door.
-Sh-Sheldon… just what in the actual fu-
Leonard starts, but is interrupted by Raj cuming in.
-HI EVORYBOODY, LETSA PAR-
Raz begins, but stops himself when he sees Pennies.
He immediately becomes withdrawn and shy.
Penicillin looks at him, and says:
-Rarj leave now, somethings wrong with Sheschire
-B-But Penndskjsgdjkfsdf…
Rouje begins but cannot talk anymore he is so shy. Spaghetti is flying everywhere out ofhis pockets, and some of the spaghetti hits a bottle of alcohol on the shelf.
The bottle falls, breaks itself over RJ's head, and the alcohol pours all over him, entering each and every one of his orifices.
Suddenly, Rage's back straightens up, his hair is combed back by some invisible force. A trenchcoat and fedora materialises on his body. His charisma is boosted to the Paragon levels.
He looks Penny straight in the eyes, says
-M'lady
And tips his fedora.
Penny immediately orgasms.
Sheldon turns to the camera yet again, and Leonard cringes as he braces himself for the onslaught of soundwaves.
-BALOGNE
[The crowd bursts into laughter, louder than ever. The chandelier falls down from the ceiling, nearly missing Howard. The wall to the right collapses on itself, and deep crevasses appear along the floor. The door caves in, and the floor outside of the door collapses entirely. The camera flashes to the audience, and we see that some of them are dead, either their ears bled out or their throats were torn raw from laughing]
Penny couldn't take anymore. She curled up into a ball, clutching her ears, mumbling incomprehensible nonsense. The silence after the laughter was only erupted by the occasional sound of Penny hitting the floor while rocking back and forth.
Howard tries to escape, but falls down the crevasse outside the door. As he tumbles we hear his mother screaming
-Don't stay up too late, and remember to brush your teeth!
-God damn it mom!
He screams as he tumbles down into the abyss.
Leonard is bawling now, trying to grasp the incomprehensible situation they are in.
Raj appears to be the only one unfazed. He's just smiling happily while trying to flirt with the comatose Penny.
Somehow, although his ears are pounding and his head is throbbing, Leonard manages to say one thing to Sheldon.
-Sheldon. What happened to you? What's wrong?
For a moment we see Sheldon shudder, as if he's in the middle of some internal conflict. And for a split second, it almost appears to Leonard that the good old Sheldon is back, his friend. It almost looks like Sheldon is thinking of all the time they spent together, almost as if he's regretting what this has come to.
For just that moment, Leonard believes that the old Sheldon is still in there somewhere, and that he's fighting to come out.
But then, Sheldon turns towards the camera, smiles forcefully, and screams at the top of his lungs:
-ZIMBABWE
[The audience explodes into an uproar of unprecedented volume, which soon devolves into a chaotic demonic rumbling that shakes the very mind, body and soul of all those in the vicinity. The camera turns towards the audience yet again, and we see their throats and eardrums burst into a downpour of crimson. Through some unholy, twisted way, the laughter still continues. The building collapses upon itself, until all that remains is Sheldon and Leonard. The laughter then stops]
Leonard is on his knees, clutching his temples. His body is shaking and his mind is broken. Torrents of sweat pour down from his body. He is violently sobbing, but he cannot even hear his own cries because of the damage done to his ears. He tries to look up at Sheldon, tries to ask him why. Tries to ask him what went wrong. But all that he manages to do is let out a tiny inaudible squeak, and he falls to the ground. His vision becomes blurry, and his mind starts to fade. Right when everything is about to go black, he hears a voice echo though his mind. No, his entire essence.
-Leonard
He feels obliged by some otherworldly force to look up at Sheldon.
There are tears in Sheldon's eyes, and he has his arm stretched out to Leonard. His face is one of complete and utter guilt.
-Sh-Shel-
Leonard tries to say his name, but only coughs up blood.
-Shh, its okay. You don't have to say anything. Just take my hand.
Sheldon says.
Leonard manages to lift his arm just enough for Sheldon to grab on, and with much effort on both parties, Leonard manages to lift himself up.
Sheldon looks him in the eyes, his face ridden with guilt. He wraps his arms around Leonard, and brings his mouth up to Leonards ear.
He whispers:
-Leonard… I
-Y-Yes… Sh-Sheld-d-don?
Leonard manages to choke out.
-…
…
I…
-Yes! WHAT SHELDON? WHY DID YOU DO THIS?
Leonard screams, followed by him coughin violently, stomach acid flowing out of his mouth.
-…
-BAZINGA!
[The "Laughter", if you could even call it that anymore, tore itself through the air. The surrounding city collapsed through the fissures that streaked across the ground. As time passed, the sounds only grew in volume, until it was so incomprehensibly loud that the soundwaves tore at the very fabric of time and space]
Leonard collapsed, as the world around him slowly tore itself to pieces. He watched as his own body evaporated into nothing. He watched as the universe itself was torn apart. He watched as reality collapsed upon itself. He watched as the very concept of existence itself was erased.
And yet, he was still there.
His mind and soul were all that remained.
And yet, he was still there.
Absolutely nothing remained except him.
And yet, he could still hear the laughter.