This my first Harry Potter fic!
This is dudleys point of view about his life and finally comes to realises how horrible he has been to Harry.
I still remember the day he, my cousin, the freak left our house for good to live with those so called wizards the weasels? weaseys? whatever.
My parents as you can tell were very happy to have the devil leave their house, they were dancing around the table in the living room.
I should be glad that he has left, disappeared from my life. I mean this is what I have waited for the past 17 years of my life!
And yet...
Why am I sad?
Why can't I be cheerful like my parents?
Why do i have a expression on my face i can't even describe?
I should be happy! I have friends and my other relatives whenever i see them. i can get anything i want. I have parents that loves me. I have everything that Harry wants.
I came to a pause.
Why is it that what is said sounds cruel?
Even though it the truth, I have everything a kids desires and wants...but have I?
Now that i think about it.
Ever since i was young, i thought everything was normal. My parents told me abuse was ok if a child is naughty...but was Harry ever naughty?
Ever since I was 4 I've seen Harry cook, do chores for at least 8 hours a day...no breaks, he was starved, never allowed out anywhere with us, never had any presents, never had any friends, never was loved.
He was beaten, punched, kicked, shouted at everyday. Forced to work in warm and cold weathers. He was like a slave really.
The opposite of me.
But...does that make it right?
Does that make it right to hurt him?
Is it right to treated him differently?
In my years of being with him now I realised how nasty and horrible I was to him.
I was allowed to bully him, teased him, call him a freak, make sure he didn't have any friends. Make him to be a total outcast.
My parents didn't stop me from doing all these things to Harry.
Coming down to sources of everything.
It was my parents who made me this way.
A spoiled chubby brat who hardly had any friends. The so called friends who hang around with him because he was tough and scary.
He was a real bully picking on kids including my cousin.
But your only raised this way if your parents raised you like this.
I always beileved I was special because I heard those words everyday from my parents. My dad's sister, even some of the neighbours thought I was a good boy with proud parents.
When Harry was away in his 6th year of hogwart or as mum would say a criminal school.
My mum would talked to the neighbours going on about how Harry needs discipline, he is such a disgraceful child.
One of woman nodded listening but I can tell she disagreed with what mum was saying.
But when mum always spoke about me on how I was a honored boy with good grade, with alot of friends, friendly and kind.
It made me want to laugh.
I never understood back then as I child. But now I'm 16 I understand.
Everything is a lie.
I was never those words my mum said but if she does say those thing then...
Does she really know me at all?
I was allowed to do everything I wanted and yet my parents say the opposite of what I am.
Were they afraid of what the neighbours think?
Were they trying to be high in society?
I remember once mum telling me about how I was such an intelligent boy who could get into one the top schools.
But I knew myself I wasn't intelligent.
When mum was praised by some of the women I knew right then that some of it was for society.
Whatever I wanted my parents would get.
And when I told my friend I was bunking school they would follow.
It's like I'm the master and their the puppets.
I couldn't talk about my feelings to my parents becuase they always blamed Harry for almost everything.
Through everything that has happened in my life...was I loved?
I understand I was loved more than Harry but when I see kids playing in the parks with their families or little kids playing with sibilings.
And hearing parents saying I love you to their children.
It made me realised how different I am from everyone.
And it makes me feel lonely.
Come to think of it...I've never heard my parents say I love you in a long time.
Instead they buy me presents to confess their love for me.
But sometimes...
I would it's nice to hear it you know?
Like at the moment, it's now gone into my brain that my parents have now stopped dancing and my mum saying my name or nickname.
"Duddikins what's the matter dear? He's gone, the devils gone. You should be pleased".
Should I?
"Yeah Duddy it's just us now. Come on let's go out and will buy you whatever you want" said dad.
Why do they keep doing that?
Buying me stuff so I feel better?
"Em mum, dad I don't want anything. I'm just gonna watch TV".
I saw my parents have their mouths hanging open.
Was it such a surprise?
"W-what but Duddikins, you always buy stuff...why not now?" said his mum her voice trembling like it was a new to her.
"It's...It's him! That bloody boy! He did this to our son! With his abonimible magic he said contolling our son!" said my dad putting his hair through his short hair.
Harry this, Harry that! It can't be him he's not even here!
"Don't worry baby will save you!" said my mum reaching to hug to me.
But I took a step back.
I can never tell them my feelings becuase they wouldn't get it.
They have blamed Harry since they day he came here, so basically since I was born.
But they listen to Harry when they says it isn't his fault.
They talked to him telling him to do chores.
When it's me it's usually wait a minute let me sort out the boy then we can have a fun day together.
And that's leads them to buying stuff for me.
When I say something unusual they beileve I'm being controlled.
It makes me wonder who is the real son here?
Even though Harry has always been abused most his life because of us...he is now free.
With loads friends, a god father and a new family.
He was always a high spirited boy with a good head on his shoulders.
I can't beileve I'm going to admit this but...
I'm jealous.
I wish I was like Harry.
I wish I could erase time and apologise to Harry hoping he will forgive me after many painful memories I put him through.
I wish my parents could see me and love me for me. And not someone who is delusional.
When I step back from my mum, she was very puzzled.
"Dudley. Come we will bring the evil out of you, don't worry".
What evil...I'm fine mum.
"Mum there is nothing wrong with me. I just don't want to go shopping". I said keeping my voice on calm level.
"He must of done something to our boy because our dudley would never say something like that. He always loved shopping and being spolied by us!" shouted my dad clenching his fist.
Is that what you think?
That I loved being spoiled?
Maybe I did when I was younger because you two taught me to act like a spoiled brat and to never consider other people's feelings. Most certainly Harry.
Why can't you just listen to me for once!
"He didn't go anythiing to me! Why do you always assume he did something!" I shouted startling my parents.
"Because we love you darling. We know he put a curse on you before he left" my mum said smiling.
For pete's sake.
I hate this.
Like hell you guys love me!
"Do you really love me? Or is it just a farcade" I said coldly not caring about my emotions anymore. I've had enough.
"Of course we love you honey, your our dud-"
I stopped her. "Then why don't you two ever listen to me! You always blamed Harry for everything since as I long as I can remember. Whenever Harry does something inappropriate with his magic you always think I'm under a spell after I try and say a sentence. I can't tell you guys how I feel cause you just wouldn't understand".
"I have to play an act in front neighbours because you mum keep saying how good I am when I know it's a lie".
"You created me to be selfish, greedy, calling my cousin a freak, being a bully, spolit...is that really love?
My parents were stunned. They didn't know what to say.
I took a few breaths to keep my cool.
I waited to see if my parents would say anything.
Then my mum spoke.
"Duddikins that boy is different. He not one of us and desvered to be punished...He a filthy creature who has ruined our lives!".
Mum stopped talking holding her face in her hands.
Then dad spoke.
"Son...freaks don't belong here. We raised you like a spoilt brat to prove to him that you have everything and he is nothing".
If that is supposed to make me better...it doesn't.
But say if a letter came for me to go to to Hogwarts.
Would you both have still loved me?
Or called me freak like Harry?
"If...If I had a letter telling me to go to Hogwarts would you still love me then or call me a freak?"
My parents said nothing.
That answered my question.
They didn't care.
If they did love me that what a horrible way they have shown it to me!
I walked towards the front door when mum spoke.
"Duddikins we do love you and always. It...It's just their freaks duddy! Do you understand? We don't want you to become one those thing!".
Well I'm everything I don't wanna be so being a freak just adds to the list.
"I'm sorry mum and dad but your way of loving is wrong!".
I turned to look at my parents.
"What kind of parents causes little kids to watch other kids being abused? Making them feel like they are the enemy? Saying it's ok to bully your cousin cause he's a freak? What kind of parents do such a thing as that!" I shouted at them.
Well it's all the truth.
I am a bully...a self-centered bully.
Before my parents could continue I opened the door and ran out into the street.
I kept running till I was out of privet drive.
All this time I thought I had a better life...but that's not true.
Harry had a better life than me.
He didn't at first but I guess now it's payback.
I came across a bench and laid down catching my breath.
Man! I need to exercise.
Dudley looked up at the orange, yellow sky that was growing darker and darker making it neally nightful.
After everything Harry has been through...losing his parents he had never known...abused by his relatives...treated as an outcast.
Harry has come a long way.
He's not the freak.
I am.
I am the freak.
I'm monster for treating my only cousin like a person who shouldn't even be on earth!
I'm sorry Harry.
For everything.
I'm sorry for making fun of your new friends.
I'm sorry I didn't help you with the chores or when you were abused.
I'm sorry for thinking what I did was right.
If you can in your heart forgive for these past 17 years of torture please do.
I mean it.
I am sorry.
I'm sorry.
hows it so far? there one more chapter after this where dudley and harry meet. and there is also loads of sorrys at the end xxx