Fighting the Darkness
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connecting to the show. I just couldn't help reading something extra into the original storyline…
Summary: It's not always easy to find happiness in life… it's definitely not easy for Ziva, especially when the past wouldn't let her move on… That is her story trying to find her home in a world where she's been left all alone…
Hey there, Everyone! This is my very first NCIS fanfiction. I hope you'll like it… and I certainly hope that I'll be able to get to the end of it…
Spoilers for Kill Ari!
Here we go!!!
Chapter 1: Alone
"I want to see you." Ziva told her brother. It might not have been the right time but she missed her big brother terribly. Granted that they talked on the phone frequently but nowadays it was always about business… nothing personal. If they talked, Ari always acted as her superior and it wasn't enough for her, not when her brother was accused of murdering an American Special Agent with cold blood. She so desperately needed to see him…
"Too risky." Ari crashed down Ziva's hope and she felt disappointed. She felt abandoned like a little girl who didn't get enough attention from her family. The officer in her, though, knew that Ari was right. "Gibbs will have you followed. We will meet in Paris after the mission is over, Ziva. I promise."
The mere fact that Ari promised it, made the Mossad officer feel better somehow. Ari always kept his promises, always.
"Ari, I do not want to loose you, too." She said allowing the little girl in her to take over for a moment.
"You will not." Ziva waited for the usual 'I promise' here, too, if for nothing else just to reassure herself, but this time it didn't come and Ari ended the conversation with a curt 'Shalom' leaving his sister with a bad feeling.
She shook it off… she couldn't loose her brother… she wouldn't have anybody then… she would be left all alone… and that would not happen. She wouldn't let it happen.
***
Six-year-old Ziva David stormed into her room with red face, which was stained by large hot tears, and threw herself on her bed. She found it all so unfair. After all nobody asked for that baby to come into their home. She definitely didn't ask for it.
"Hey, come on, Zee. Do not sulk like a little girl." Her brother sat down next to her on the bed and put a comforting hand on her back.
"I am a little girl, Ari." She informed her brother with a voice muffled by her pillow. Despite her tears, Ari could hear a little giggle escaping her sister's lips but Ziva didn't give up on sulking. Of course, she didn't, thought Ari with a smile, after all her sister was as stubborn as a mule.
"Alright, little girl, then tell me why you are sulking." For a little while he didn't get any king of answer from the girl but then Ziva sat up on the bed and looked at her older brother with big brown eyes, which were red because of the tears.
"It is so not fair." She stated with conviction. Ari just raised an eyebrow clearly not understanding the reasons of his sister's previous outburst. They were peacefully playing in the family room when Ziva just jumped up shouting some nasty words at her father who, in returned, reprimanded her and sent her up to her room. "Talia." She clarified. "Why did she have to come here? Nobody asked for her to come. Why is she here then?" She clearly didn't understand the situation.
"Ziva, she is our sister."
"And?"
"She is family."
"And am I not family anymore?"
"Of course, you are, Zee. Do not be silly."
"Then why does Aba not like me anymore?"
"But he does like you, Zee. Do not say things that are not true."
"He does not like me anymore. I know it. I am not his princess anymore and he is shouting with me. He never shouts with me, ever. And he calls Talia princess all the time now. My Aba does not like me anymore." Fresh tears began to appear in her eyes, which made Ari pull her into his arms and began gently rocking his little sister.
He was only ten years old but he saw the situation clearly and he was really angry with his father, who had indeed showed preference towards his youngest daughter ever since she was brought home.
After a while he felt Ziva wriggle in his arms so he pulled away and looked at her.
"Are you going to stop loving me, too, Ari?" She asked innocently with large sad eyes. At this question, Ari suddenly jumped up from the bed and ran out of the room. He returned quickly, though, and settled down in front of his sister with crossed legs.
"Look here." He told her and produced something out of the pocket of his sweater. Little Ziva's eyes lit up when she saw what the object was and happily reached for it when Ari held it out for her. "Here. I give it to you." He watched with a loving smile as Ziva took the little plush toy into her hands. They had found it in the bazaar that summer and Ari bought it on his saved pocket money. It was a little gorilla… a dark purple gorilla which was holding an even smaller baby gorilla, which was as purple as the bigger one. He liked it so much because Ziva liked it. He would never forget her eyes when she had spotted it in one of the hidden corners of the bazaar…
"Look, the gorilla is always having the smaller one in its arms." He began to explain it to Ziva. "It will never leave it. And I will never leave you, Ziva. Even if I am not here with you. Do you understand me?" Ziva nodded as she looked at her brother. "Good. It will remind you of just how much I love you, little sister, and that I will love you forever, no matter what."
Suddenly Ziva threw her arms around her brother's neck and embraced him with such force that surprised the little boy.
"I love you, Ari."
"I love you, too, Princess."
***
Ziva slowly lowered her gun and, as if in trance, she walked down the stairs.
She couldn't believe it. Once again she did what her father told her to do. She killed her brother. She killed the last person who truly loved her… What did it make her? If Ari thought that he had been a monster then what could Ziva possibly call herself?
She stopped by the lifeless body of Ari and just looked at him. What had she done?
She was snapped out of her thoughts by the man whose life she had just saved.
"His father is the Deputy Director of Mossad?" He asked trying to put the pieces into their places.
"Yes." Ziva nodded several times still trying to deal with what had just happened.
"Not David…" She just wished that. She could still be able to look into the mirror if it hadn't been Ari lying on the floor with a hole in his head. Would it have been anybody else… Would it have been their father…
"Yes." But it wasn't somebody else. It was her brother. "He is my half-brother." Her best friend.
She was left alone with nobody to trust and nobody to love her…
As she sat down and began to sing to his dead brother, she just hoped to God that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was worth her sacrifice…
TBC
So that was the first chapter…
Thanks for reading and sorry for the mistakes!