***Effy's thoughts***
Fuck it! And now it's raining, just my luck! I'm already soaked through, as soon as this fag is over, I'll go back in this club trying to find a guy, stupid enough to be interested in me, whom spend the night with …
Once again, the same routine! It's been like that for almost a week now. Don't judge me, let me clarify the situation: I'm Effy Stonem, 18 years old, pretty much nothing more to say about me, I'm no one, and now I've even had nowhere to live! Lucky me, I'm homeless…
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm the only responsible for that. Truth be told I'm even quite surprised that this did not happen before. Who on earth could be crazy enough to waste time on me … Except him of course, but he's dead now so I'm alone …
I could try to find one guy with whom I could stay for a few days, but no, it's not my style, I'm Effy Fucking Stonem … The only time I've tried it was … Him … and now, cause of me, he's dead!
Ok that's enough! Back in the club …
***Katie's thoughts***
Ok, now it's official I'm totally wasted. I mean, it must be so, it's the only reason why I've let this guy touching me almost everywhere in front of the whole club! And now he's taking me outside. Great, how classy, he's a total gentleman: making me drink to the point where I'm not even sure what my name is, and then taking me to a shitty dark alley to fuck me on a dirty garbage or something …
But if he's an asshole, what does that make me?
As soon as we are outside his tongue is on my neck, and his hands are under my shirt groping me like if my tits were some kind of joystick … 1 … 2 … 3 … that's it one last movement on my tits and his hands are now on my thighs.
"Hum … You're so fucking hot sweetheart! This shag is gonna be great I can feel it! You? "
"Yeah, Yeah, awesome …"
That makes me a whore, that's what I am. A fucking whore, but I need it! I need to feel that someone needs me, wants me, that I' m not alone, complete. And for now, it's the only way I've found to be complete … Or at least less alone …
***Effy's thoughts***
Great just fucking great now a horny couple is shagging just in front of my eyes! Oh my god, it can't be her… no way its Katie … Ok it's so wrong, I can't stay there, I have to leave …
As much as my head told me to run, the rest of my body is frozen, I don't move, I don't even breathe, I just look. I can't take my eyes away of her, she looks so out of it, almost like if she wasn't even there, there are no sparkles in her eyes, she don't even move. But even if she looks almost like a dead body right now, I can't stop thinking that she's beautiful. Otherwise, he looks so gross, so ruff. His hands are everywhere and nowhere at the same time, he don't take the time to really touching her, to discover every inch of her, to contemplate the beauty that she is … if it was me, I'll … wait … no … what the fuck am I thinking … It's Katie, Katie fucking Fitch … she's a girl, and I can't take the risk of destroying her life … no, no wait it's not what I meant … she's a girl that's it! What is wrong with me, mum is right I'm just a fucking stupid and insignificant little bitch! I feel tears coming in my eyes, and I hate myself for that, I'm not weak, I can't be weak … Anger is coming through my veins so I hit the wall next to me. I hit so hard that my hand is bleeding instantly. I look at Katie … FUCK … she's looking at me.
My whole body is numb, but then my heart dies in on second as I see one tear on Katie's cheek. She doesn't move, he's stile fucking her, even harder now. I can't stand it, I've to do something! That's the reason why I hit the wall again, twice harder than before. And suddenly:
"Stop it! There's someone"
"I can't, I'm so close sweetheart"
Then she pushes him, and he look so angry, I'm afraid he may hit her so I run …
"Katie, Katie I've been searching for you since hours. You're dad is here, he's fucking mad. Hi men, I think you should go you can't even imagine what he has done to Katie last boyfriend!"
"Yeh … yeh … sorry you should go before he breaks your leg like last time"
The fucking bastard doesn't even say a word, he just put his trousers back and leaves without even a look at her! I so much want to punch him, I start to go after him when I feel her hand on my wrist
"Don't … just don't … he's not worth it!" My wrists are burning under Katie's touch.
***Katie's thoughts***
I can't stop feeling so relieved that Effy has made him leave. Even if I'll have preferred her not seeing me! Then I look at her, really look at her for the first time tonight, she look so fragile, she's even skinny than before! Yeah I know it's almost impossible! But I swear that she must have loose almost 3 kilos since the last time I've seen her. She looks so exhausted, I've never seen her like that before. What the fuck is happening to her … I so much wanna ask her but I think that it's not the best place and timing for that …
She has just been there watching me, and then I realize that my shirt is still open and my skirt is still up … And then I see her perving at my tits, I could even swear that she's almost smiling! Fuck, what's wrong with her! I immediately close my shirt and put my skirt on place. Then I look at her, and I'm just shocked, she seems so out of it. I look at her one last time and then I start to walk in the opposite direction without looking at her. I wait almost 5 seconds, she still hasn't moved.
"Eff, it's fucking late would you please hurry! I'm not gonna wait for you babe!"
She doesn't even say a word and just start to walk next to me. We walk in a mutual silence, but not a bad one, it's relaxing. I discretely watch her. She looks so weak and fragile, almost tearful and so close to collapse. Good news we're almost there.
Then I take her hand in mine, and squeeze it. I keep it like that. I don't know why I'm doing it but it seems like the right thing to do, it's peaceful. She's slightly smiling at me. We soon reached our destination, but then she stops and looks at the floor.
"Come on Eff we're almost there, just a few meters"
"I can't Kay … I just can't … your parents … the rock … the blood … I've hurt you"
All her body is shaking now, I slowly approach her and take her face in my hands. I deeply lock my eyes with hers, I have to stop that trance. She's in shock, and she pushes me away.
"You see … I'm no good … all I do is hurting everybody …"
"Look at me Effy!" She turns her head away "I said look at me! For fuck sake! It's ok Eff, I'm responsible for that night too and right now you're in a fucking mess, so I'm taking you with me! That's it, it's not even a fucking question, it's a fact! "
"But …" I've to stop her, I can't let her be in this state again! "No but Eff! And relax I'm not taking you to my parent's, we're heading to Ems and Naomy place, they're still in Goa, and I'm kind of living there at the moment. Plus my parent's caravan is already crowded with James and all his dresses!"
She's smiling again. Oh god I love this smile! I mean not like in a naomily way of liking, as friends, or person who knows each other… or like … yeah like … What the fuck, now I'm starting to get locked on like JJ …
She slowly put her hand back in mine and looks at me. I read in her eyes that she's scare to death. I know what this scare is: Rejection! I've seen it so many times in my own eyes.
"Ok, let's go then! We've to get there before you collapse or something, cause there is no fucking way that I'm gonna carry you babe!"
We keep going hand in hand, and it's strange because for the first time lately I feel almost complete… almost …
Here we are! I fumble to found the keys in my bag, but I don't want to let go Effy's hand, and don't want her to be stressed again, and I don't want to lose this feeling… Yeah …I know … fucking strange!
"Ok, make yourself comfortable in the couch, I'm gonna try to found you something to eat, I mean are you on eating strike or something? You know having some curve can be good too …"
"Thanks, I'm just … it's just that …"
"Ok, let's do that then" As soon as I'm in the kitchen I desperately try to found something but there are just lots and lots of those disgusting things … Garibaldis … Ok pasta it is then …