Notes:Once again written for a kinkmeme prompt that was a bit cracky. OP wanted only good writers. Here's my effort. You can also find this at my livejournal (snippy2yourcapt), which also has a link to the original prompt. Enjoy!

John was worried about Sherlock but that wasn't a new thing. Shrelock was always in trouble somehow either with Lestrade for doing something stupid at a crime scene or with his own body.

Often Sherlock was really really dehydrated. He was also so skinny that John was a fraid he might just blow away with a strong wind someday. And that wouldn't be good because secretly John loved Sherlock a lot! So having him blow away would be really bad.

So he decided to FORCE Sherlock to eat and drink more even if Sherlock didn't like it. Tough titties!

At first, it didn't work so good because Sherlock was really really picky about what he put in his body. And John didn't understand that because Sherlock always said that it was just transport, so why should he even care? Seriously, it was stupid.

Sometimes Sherlock drank tea. But usually he got bored with it after five minutes or just plain old forgot about it and once it was cold he couldn't drink it anymore because that would just be gross!

John didn't want to give him coffee because there was too many stimulants in it and he was already high on nicotine a lot of the time. So no more coffee!

One day he came back from tesco and had a coke in his hand. He didn't drink it much but it sounded really good when he was at the store so he bought it and the fizziness inside him felt a bit not good so when he got home he didn't want it anymore.

So he set it on the table next to Sherlock. He could drink it if he wanted to or he could use it for and experiment or something. John didn't care because his stomach felt too sloshy!

Sherlock drank it. And he thought it was the best thing ever! John didn't know why Sherlock had never had soda before because most kids have SOME when they are young but maybe sherlock had just deleted it, just like the solar system. It wasn't important that coke was THE BEST THING EVER!

He even said to John, "John, this coke is THE BEST THING EVER! You must buy me all the coke after today!"

So John did. He bought so much coke that everyone at Tesco thought he was doing something bad with it. Or maybe they thought he had an addiction. But no, that was Sherlock, wasn't it? Because he started drinking three litres of coke EVERY DAY! He started carying a bottle in his swishy coat and drinking it at crime scenes and in taxis and EVERYWHERE!

After two weeks of nonstop coke drinking, Sherlock noticed something really funny. He felt kind of light and bubbly, like the coke. It felt like he had something swirlying and churning in his tummy. It felt kind of good so he drank some more coke.

OH NO! After Sherlock drank that last sip of coke something amazing happened! He started to float away! It was only his feet though. He got so startled that he burped and fell back to the ground. Wow. What a cool thing! But it wasn't very useful to float around the flat. Well, maybe it would be, but he didn't want John to take his coke away forever, which he would do if he knew it made him float, so he stopped drinking as much of it.

Until Reichenbach. When he was at Barts preparing to meet Moriarty, he had a brilliant idea. Because he remembered about the coke and the floating! And that was super cool and it could help him to not die maybe.

Molly asked him "What do you need"

He said "You...Well I need to to get me some coke. A lot of coke as much coke as you can get your hands on. HURRY!"

She looked really surprised! "Should you be drinking coke just before you die? I don't think that will be very good thing to do Sherlock!"

Sherlock got really hurt and offended "I thought you trusted me Molly! I know what I am doing! Just get me that damn coke!"

SO she did. She brought him ten litres of coke. But it was too many. He couldn't drink it all. So instead he took out the bubble extracter machine from his pocket and took all the gas out of the coke and put it in his stomach! IT was brilliant! He knew it would work.

And it did. After Moriarty killed himself (which was kind of awesome but a bit gruesome) he called John and pretended to be all sad and hurt and he cried a whole bunch. Mostly he was crying from having to fight against the bubbles trying to make him float away. The only thing keeping him on the ground was the mobile in his hand. It was keeping him heavy.

After he finished the call he threw it away spread his arms and jumped. Distantly he heard John scream, but then sherlock didn't care because he was floating gently to the ground and he wasn't hurt at all.

Then the bike knocked John over, Sherlock acted dead on the ground with lots of fake blood and prepared for the most difficult acting job of his life. He didn't move when John called his name or tried to take his pulse. And that was hard.

But it was okay because he wasn't really dead so after he kicked the butts of all of Moriarty's men, he could come back to John. And he did.

And then when john asked him how he did it and heard about the coke, he was really glad that he happened to buy that one bottle of coke that day at tesco. It saved Sherlock's life!

The end!