Disclaimer: Not mine.

Oh dear, I'm writing two fics side by side.

This story addresses Afghanistan. It's a kind of past, present type thing. It's not entirely aimless but it has a lot of possible routes.

So read and review and let me know if it's worth continuing.

It's SHEP WHUMP, so that might influence you a little.

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As Sheppard entered the gate room he reflexively checked his tactical vest and handgun. He shoved his 9mil into his calf holster and gave the room a scan with a puzzled look.

They were scheduled for an off world mission at 0700 hours, but he was lacking one crucial element.

His team.

He spotted Elizabeth waiting for him on the bottom step leading up to gate control. Her lips were formed into a thin hard line and she had an air of hesitancy to her stance today.

"Please tell me I haven't lost my mind," said Sheppard.

"You haven't," said Elizabeth, "Your team have already left."

She saw his jaw tense and his eyebrows shot up a second later to complete the baffled expression, "Want to tell me why?"

"The Daedalus arrived this morning. You have a visitor," she said wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

Sheppard crossed his arms over his P90, "Couldn't it wait till when I got back? The Danians have been dealing with me directly."

"Major Lorne is heading your team. I'm sure he'll be able to delegate in your absence."

Sheppard shook his head, "It took weeks to get them to trust us. And another week before they agreed to trade. So excuse me if I not too hopeful."

Elizabeth felt caught in the middle and she was only, in this case, the messenger, "Your visitor is waiting for you in the debriefing room," she said.

Sheppard unclipped his P90 and handed it to her. Elizabeth looked startled and then tried to adopt a more comfortable pose with the gun as Sheppard jogged up the steps and strode into the debriefing room.

He froze as soon as he entered the room and all of the self confidence, all of the bravado and any good mood seeped out of him. His heart caught in his chest and he had to mentally remind himself that breathing wasn't optional.

"Sir?" he said and immediately saluted.

Across the debriefing room table, with his arms behind his back and a pose borne of respect, stood Sheppard's former Commanding Officer. "At ease Sheppard," he said, "Take a seat."

Sheppard sat down in the closest seat and rested his hands on top of the table.

Colonel Stark began to walk towards him with a slow, controlled pace and came to stand inches from Sheppard. He bent down and when he was at ear level he said, "I believe congratulations is in order, Lt Colonel Sheppard." He stood back up and began to pace around the table, "I have to admit to being surprised to hear that, considering your black mark."

Sheppard swallowed. He wasn't going to react. Stark had always hated him, especially since it was his order he had ignored in Afghanistan. His bullying tactics hadn't changed one bit, but Sheppard had.

"Why are you here?" asked Sheppard. He interlaced his fingers to keep them from fidgeting and looked up with as much calm as he could muster.

Stark smiled softly and then pulled out a white envelope from inside his military uniform. He placed it on the table, considered it for a moment, and then slid it across to Sheppard.

"What is this?" asked Sheppard before he had even touched it.

Stark didn't answer. He pulled up a chair at the farthest end of the table and sat down without a word.

Sheppard looked at the envelope. There was an embossed stamp at the top holding the Air Force insignia.

He opened it quickly, retrieved the letter within and devoured it in seconds.

Again, his heart skipped a beat and his stomach coiled.

He placed the letter down on the table and tried not to react to one particular sentence. You are required to return to Afghanistan for active service.

His stomach knotted as he fixed eyes with Stark.

"I know what you're thinking," said Stark raising a pudgy finger, "You're thinking you're exempt because of this Commanding Officer job you have going here, but it doesn't work like that and you know it. You're obligated in every way."

Sheppard licked his lips, "We're under a lot of strain and pressure here. My presence is needed he-"

"Do you forget the order you disobeyed? Or the consequences of that?"

Sheppard dropped his head and realised with dismay that he was fidgeting like a petulant child, "No Sir," he said, "I haven't forgotten."

Stark stood up with the same grace as a twenty year old and he was pushing sixty as it was, "Two months," he said, "We need you for one assignment and then you can return to your cushy job here."

Sheppard grit his teeth and swallowed back the venomous remark which threatened to roll off his tongue.

"That is if you don't die out in the field."

"I'll need to discuss this with Doctor Weir," said Sheppard standing up.

Stark nodded, "I understand."

Sheppard turned to leave.

"Understand this Sheppard. I don't want you back in Afghanistan, but the anonymity this place affords you will be useful to the U.S military. Don't think your special son."

Sheppard headed to the door.

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In the time it took him to walk from the debriefing room to Elizabeth's office, Sheppard had built his confidence back up and managed to look calm and collected when he knocked on her door.

She beckoned him in and he seated himself opposite her before she could offer.

"Do you know what that was about?" asked Sheppard.

Elizabeth lowered the lid of her laptop, "Yes."

Sheppard nodded and scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Do you want to write me a sick note?" he asked.

"You are well within your rights not to go," said Elizabeth, "Atlantis is, kind of, an extenuating circumstance."

Sheppard held up a now unsteady hand and slowly shook his head, "I want Major Lorne to be my replacement."

"You're going," said Elizabeth and he couldn't help but notice her words were laced with disappointment.

"They need me for a couple of months," he said.

"The threat of the wraith hasn't vanished," said Elizabeth.

"Neither has the human element on earth," said Sheppard with a weary look her way, "Trust me. If I could stay here I would but I'm still a member of the Air Force."

"You're a member of the Atlantis expedition too," said Elizabeth.

"Two months," he said sitting up straight and leaning on his elbows, "And then I'll be back. Major Lorne is up to the task."

"Just ten minutes ago you weren't so sure he could negotiate a trade deal."

Sheppard restrained his smile, "Well, I was being an ass ten minutes ago."

Elizabeth reclined in her seat, "Well, I guess you're going then. The Daedalus is here for another day. You'll be leaving Friday."

Sheppard stood up slowly, attempting to linger longer than was necessary. He didn't want to have to step out of the cool serenity of Elizabeth's office and out into the hostile breathing space of Colonel Stark.

"You just better come back," said Elizabeth, reopening her laptop.

Sheppard clung to the doorway a second before leaving and silently thanked her for saying that.

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Sheppard packed his bag methodically and deliberately slowly. A couple of t shirts, a pair of trousers…..he stopped and considered what he was packing. He was going to be back out on front lines for the next two months and it occurred to him that he had no idea what he would need. Hell, he didn't even know what his assignment was.

He was glad for the distraction when his door chimed.

He palmed it open and Mckay pushed past him and sat down on his bed before he had spoken, "So, you're leaving just like that?" he said throwing his hands up in the air dramatically.

Sheppard rolled his eyes, "Come in Rodney." He walked back over to his packing, regarded the bag with a scowl and then tossed it onto the floor. "I'll be back."

"You could die."

"I could die out here," said Sheppard, "I have died out here." He shivered at the thought of the iratus bug and sat down in the chair by his bed.

Mckay was sulking. His chin was jutting out, his mouth was formed into a pout and his arms were crossed so tightly he could probably interlink his hands behind his back.

"You're needed here or have you forgotten that?"

Sheppard was getting tired of having to defend himself. Mckay wasn't the first person to assault his decision today and when he spoke, weariness pervaded every word, "No I haven't forgotten. Look, I wouldn't expect you to understand but I have to do this."

"But you don't have to," said Mckay swivelling around to confront him, "Can't you say no?"

"No," stated Sheppard simply and concisely.

"Yes exactly like that."

"Nice try Rodney."

"Major Lorne doesn't have as strong a gene as you."

"Ah, so you want me for my gene," said Sheppard, "I'm hurt."

"He won't engage in arguments."

"Are you saying I'm combative?"

"He doesn't tolerate my...quirks," said Mckay.

"You mean your whining?"

"You're useful to have around. What happens if you get killed out in...Where are you going?"

Sheppard remained tight-lipped.

"Okay, fine, you can't tell me, right, I see………where was I? Oh yes, if you die then your gene dies along with you."

"Rodney. I've had a hell of a day, and my former, well, my commanding officer is sleeping just down the hall from me. I'm not up for talking about this now."

"You never want to talk," snarked Mckay as he got up, "Sleep on this. You might think differently about it in the morning."

"I wont," said Sheppard.

"You might," said Mckay.

"I wont," said Sheppard. He got up to escort Mckay to the door.

"You'll have to wear a crappy uniform, sleep with dozens of other men, eat gruel, do basic training aga-"

"I won't change my mind," said Sheppard. He gave Mckay a light shove into the hall, said 'goodnight' and then closed the door to his quarters.

Sheppard leant against his door, closed his eyes and then let out a shaky breath. Obligation sucked.

TBC

Please review.