Disclaimer: I seriously don't own Naruto. Like seriously. And no. I'm not lying either.
Itachi Uchiha was not gay, regardless of what anybody else thought.
Nope, not at all.
So maybe he wore nail polish. It's not like that was unusual or anything. I mean all his friends wore nail polish and they weren't gay. And it wasn't purple nail polish either. Gay men wore purple. Itachi wore indigo nail polish. INDIGO people! That was as manly as you could get. And besides it was very fashionable this season.
About what I said up there, I lied. So maybe some his friends were gay or extremely bi-sexual like Deidara, (seriously, he might as well be a damn cross dresser) Sasori, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu. So like all of them except Pein, Konan (a girl), Zetsu and Tobi but whatever.
And just because he liked two of his friends doesn't mean he was gay either. It was perfectly natural to like your friends like that, even if they were of the same sex, right? Sure it was. It's not like he dreamed of jumping (hot) best friend Kisame and his other (unbearably sexy) friend Deidara every time he saw them. Hell no. So yea, Itachi Uchiha was totally not gay. Alright, maybe bit (*cough* A LOT *cough*) bi-sexual but not gay.
And while he was at it, he wasn't freaking emo either. Just because he didn't talk to lowlifes like you and was pretty distant, doesn't mean he enjoyed slitting his wrist like a child likes ice cream. He might be an anti-social bastard but you're probably just jealous that he has more fangirls than you.
If you want emo, look up Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi's brother, in the dictionary. That definition = emo. Talk about emo. With his black, chicken-ass hair, extremely pale skin, permanent scowl on his face, he was somehow, the epitome of emo. And sexy.
And those lines on his face were not because he stayed up all night having wild yaoi sex with his two crushes. God no. It was water-proof guy liner, only put on so it made him look tired so his fangirls would take pity on him and stop chasing him. And it worked every. Single. Time.
But anyway, Itachi was not gay. He was, if anything, a bit bi-sexual but nothing else.
…
Oh who in the hell was he kidding. He was a purple nail polish wearing, emo ( influenced by his (younger) brother) homosexual, who extremely attracted to his best friend and his other friend (Deidara) who was already taken by his other friend (Sasori).
Let's just say that the Nile River was created from his thoughts.
And the only thing that's true up there is the thing about the lines on his face.
Such a sad life.
So, um , yeah. I just thought of that when I was getting my nails done a few weeks ago and this is the product of my slightly insane mind. It kinda sucks but if it made you smile, or God forbid, laugh even, review please. Constructive critisism is glady appreciated!
Thanks for reading.
ChocolateAngel-san