Author Notes/Disclaimer: I do not any of these characters. They are all copyrighted by DC! This is a light hearted parody (The not so light hearted parody stuff will come when I get to stories that I really don't like) of the New 52 reboot! I am also not making any kind of profit off of this and am currently broke as hell.

Yes, this is inspired by DM of the Rings and Darths & Droids. Unfortunately I don't have someone to format an actual webcomic for me, so you will just have to use your imagination or follow along with the actual Justice League #1 comic.

Also, this comic is rated M for semi-strong language. The "S" word, "D" word, and "F" word are used at various points, although this chapter isn't riddled with them. Apologies upfront for the long post and that my Notes aren't helping with the length.

Also, Batman = Damian, Green Lantern = Carol, Cyborg = Victor, Superman = Alex, Everyone else = GM. When this series eventually grows to include a ridiculous amount of stories and players, please suspend your disbelief and ignore the fact that it would be ridiculous and/or impossible to have that happened in real life. Enjoy!

WHAT IF NEW 52 WAS A TABLETOP GAME: JUSTICE LEAGUE #1

GM: Hello, everyone. So, it is just you three today?

Batman: Yeah. Alex, Jeff, Steve, and Joan couldn't make it today.

Green Lantern: Actually, Alex said he will come by later, although I am not sure if the game will still be playing by then.

Cyborg: Can we get started.

GM: One last thing before we start. Victor, you sure you don't want Cyborg to be an established hero like Damian's and Carol's?

Cyborg: For the last time, yes! I don't mind doing the origin of Cyborg from scratch. Beside, not as many know his origin like they would know Batman's and Green Lantern's.

GM: Your choice. Now, let's start the game. Damian, Batman is currently chasing something across the rooftops.

Batman: May I ask why? Did he steal my lunch money or something.

Green Lantern: *groans* This is why both Batman and you shouldn't crack jokes. Could you please leave it to the professionals?

Batman: Whatever.

GM: You spot it planting a bomb at the docks downtown. It spewed fire at anyone who approached.

Batman: Okay, I throw-

GM: Make a spot roll.

Batman: Huh? Oh! *rolls* Sweet, 17!

GM: You then noticed a GCPD helicopter coming after you and the creature you are chasing. This is early in Batman's career, so the police don't trust you yet.

Batman:...shit.

Cyborg: What do you care? You're Batman.

Batman: Yeah, I'm awesome, but I am not sure I can handle the police and something with powers. I don't think Batman fought a super-villain yet.

GM: A lot can happen in a year of adventuring. Also, roll for initiative. The helicopter is obviously gonna open fire.

Batman: *rolls* Sweet. I am gonna have Batman tumble to avoid getting hit and then shoot smoke missiles at the helicopters.

Green Lantern: Why not just shoot the smoke missiles? Also, missiles? Really?

Batman: Not only is there a chance that the GM rules that the helicopters shoot at me as I get my hands up, it is badass. Also, smoke missiles is an awesome idea and doesn't break Batman's rule.

Cyborg: Just roll.

Batman: *rolls* Deinitely avoided the gunfire. *rolls* And natural 20!

GM: Okay let me think how that works. Hmm... okay, the explosion from your smoke missiles-

Green Lanternl: Seriously, missiles?

GM:-was so loud and impressive that it cause the creature you were chasing to turn around.

Batman: Batman immediately shoots out his grappling hook at it! *rolls*

GM: Okay, the hook lands in the creature's leg. It roars out of sheer annoyance.

Batman: Come over here!

Green Lantern: ...please tell me that was out of character. I refuse to even consider you a Batman fan if that was.

Cyborg: He did use the Batman voice.

Batman: Okay, fine. Batman reels himself towards the creature, slamming into it along the way.

GM: Okay, but the creature gets an attack of opportunity.

Batman: But-

GM: No buts! I am the GM and I rule that the creature gets an AOO! It can plainly see Batman coming at it and the pain in its leg is just an annoyance.

Batman: Okay, whatever. But I am rolling for when it misses. *rolls*

Green Lantern: Hope the creature hits. That would be hilarious.

GM: *rolls* A 1. Huh, what are then odds? Okay the creature is smashed against the roof as you collide against it. It hits the roof so hard that the hood it was wearing-

Batman: You didn't mention a hood.

GM: I did now. Anyway, the hood it was wearing fell off and part of its goggles came off revealing a shining light where an eye should be.

Batman: Tell me what you were doing at the docks with that bomb now!

Cyborg: Where is the detonator?! Where is it?!

Batman: Hey! Don't make fun of Nolan's Batman!

Green Lantern: You kidding? Batman's voice makes it hard to take the movies seriously.

GM: Roll to spot!

Batman: *rolls* Ah crap.

GM: You noticed too late that the creature was glowing brighter by the second. By the time you do, it causes a mini-explosion. *rolls* Ouch, you lose quite a bit of health and are stunned.

Batman: Batman, no!

GM: The creature goes up to Batman, who can't act this turn, and punches him in the face. *rolls* Ouch, again.

Green Lantern: Make a spot check!

GM: Huh?

Green Lantern: Just humor me.

GM: Okay. *rolls* I got a 2. What was the creature- ah, I see. I will allow it.

Batman: Allow what?

Green Lantern: Allow Green Lantern to sneak up behind the creature and smash it with a fire truck.

Batman: She can do that?

GM: Well, she has to roll to hit. But I'm allowing it.

Green Lantern: *rolls* Surprise, mother fuc-

Batman: If that is in character, I refuse to consider you a GL fan!

Green Lantern: You don't even like Hal.

Batman: You don't like Batman either.

Green Lantern: Thinking a character is overrated is not the same as not liking them. Victor-

Cyborg: Don't drag me into this.

GM: Okay, the creature is stunned for the moment. If you don't mind, I am gonna have it that this Batman's and Green Lantern's first official appearance.

Green Lantern: Fine by me. Good evening strangely garbed citizen. I have come to save the day since you were so obviously helpless and useless.

Batman:..do you know who I am?

Green Lantern: Yeah, the fabled Batman. I admit, I am shocked to realize that you are real, but seeing you getting your ass whooped by some guy I just took out kinda dimin-

Batman: Wait! Is Green Lantern floating in mid-air glowing like Times Square on New Years Eve?

Green Lantern: Yes, why?

Batman: TURN IT OFF-

GCPD Officer: Take them both down now!

Green Lantern: Oh. Guess the smoke is gone now. Wait a second, did they not bother to even give us a warning? And before I forget, I use the ring to put up several swat officer constructs that carry shields to block the gunfire.

Batman: This is what happens when a vigilante comes to Gotham.

Green Lantern: Yeah, I have the same trouble back home. Although your guys are far more aggressive

Batman: If you can't handle it, get out of here.

Green Lantern: Yeah, like that is gonna happen. In case you haven't notice, I have a ring that can-

GM: *rolls* Oh hey, would you look at that. Natural 20.

Cyborg: That can't be good.

GM: The creature from earlier gets up and reveals hidden wings which it uses-

Green Lantern: Sorry for interrupting, but can I at least check to see if my guy sees him first? Natural 20 only works in combat and not skills.

Batman: I would like to roll as well.

GM: Fine *Batman and Green Lantern roll dice* Okay, Batman just gets enough to see the creature, but not enough time to warn GL who fails to notice. *rolls* And the creature slashes the Lantern with its wings.

Green Lantern: Dammit!

GM: And thanks to a feat, it can attack twice in a row.

Green Lantern: Why didn't you use it against Batman earlier?

GM: Because I just remembered. Lets just say that instead of Batman being stunned by the explosion, it was because of the creature's feat just for simplicity sake.

Batman: That works with me! Good thing I saw it, now I don't get sneak attack.

GM: Actually the creature attacks the helicopters by spewing a heavily concentrated ball of fire at it.

Batman: Why? Also, I am gonna pretend that makes sense.

Cyborg: Sounds like something Human Torch can do. Just comes from the mouth instead of his hands.

GM: *rolls* Because of the off chance that it collides into your building. And it does! Even if the helicopters landed somewhere else, you guys still would have to save them.

Green Lantern: Either way, I got it. I will create some bat like constructs to stop the helicopters from hitting us.

GM: Roll a spot check Batman.

Batman: Seriously, are you obsess with doing that or what? *rolls* What do I spot?

GM: The creature running away in a new kind of form that is pretty hard to describe, so I drew a picture.

Green Lantern: What is that, a dog?

Cyborg: I ain't seen any dog like that before.

Batman: Doesn't matter. If you are gonna come along Lantern, fine. But this is my turf, so you play by my rules.

Green Lantern: Technically, this whole planet is part of a space spector I have to protect, so everything is my turf.

Batman: A space what?

Green Lantern: Oh come on, Damian! You must enough about Green Lantern to know what a space sector is!

Batman: That was in character, Carol. This is Batman's first time meeting Green Lantern.

Green Lantern: Oh. Green Lantern explains to Batman what a space sector is and about the Green Lantern Corps.

Batman: Batman's interrupts the second Hal mentions the Corps and says "Yeah, sure there is."

Green Lantern: Oh come on, we are chasing a thing that is not even human.

GM: No you are not.

Green Lantern: Huh? Oh, Green Lantern flies after the creature as he explains to Bats about the Corps.

Batman: Batman leads and still doesn't believe Lantern.

Green Lantern: Okay, fine don't believe me. But that thing is definitely an alien from space. Even if you don't believe that my ring told me that-...okay I admit that sounds ridiculous if you never heard of Green Lantern before. Anyway, even if you don't believe that, it certainly is not from Earth.

Batman: Certainly explains it spewing out fire.

Green Lantern: Oh, don't worry about that. I took care of that when I first arrived. That allowed?

GM: Sure, won't conflict with the story that is set up so far. Also, the creature went down a nearby manhole and into some sewers.

Green Lantern: Thanks. Also, what can you do exactly Batman? You know that my power is to do whatever I want. What are yours.

Batman: A bunch of gadgets that will beat the crap out of you.

Green Lantern: No, seriously. What are your powers. Because I refuse to believe that you don't have super powers and still run around dress up like a bat.

Cyborg: Also, we are not going with the whole Batman has a gadget for everything, are we? Because I really don't want to go down that road.

Batman: *rolls* I suggest you roll Carol.

Green Lantern: Why?

Batman: Just roll.

GM: I really suggest you roll.

Green Lantern: Did Damian slip a piece of paper? Okay fine. *roll* Yikes, that is bad.

Batman: Sweet, I got a Green Lantern ring.

Green Lantern: ...I'm out.

Batman: Wait, come back!

Cyborg: Hahaha! Did that seriously just happen? Did Batman just take Lantern's ring without him even noticing?

GM: The dice don't lie.

Green Lantern: Bullshit! It doesn't matter how good of a thief Batman is! Hal would have felt since it is on his freakin finger! You would need legitimate super powers to do that! Like the Flash and his super speed.

Batman: Batman examines the ring to see how it works.

Green Lantern: I am not going through with this nonsense!

Cyborg: Calm down Carol, it is just some light hearted fun!

GM: Batman finds no way for it to work manually. Based on what he said earlier, it must work off of concentration. Also, the dice don't lie.

Batman: That is how I took it, Lantern. You weren't concentrating enough to notice me take it.

Green Lantern: You lousy, stinking poser!

GM: NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!

Cyborg: Calm down Carol! It is just a game!

Green Lantern: Fine, Hal uses his POWERS to take the ring back before his costume disappears enough for Batman to see his face.

Batman: Is his mask still a domino style one? Because based on the logic of the movie, Batman can figure out who Hal Jordan is just by looking at the structure around his face. Actually, that logic works in real life as well.

Green Lantern: Wow, after all of the trash talking that you three did to get me to dislike Green Lantern, I think what Damian just said might have convinced me a little that it was as bad as everyone else said it is.

Cyborg: I never said it was bad! Just that it could have been better.

Green Lantern: Can we just forget this happened?

GM: Fine. Roll a spot check.

Batman: That was not necessary, I was gonna search for the creature anyway. *rolls*

GM: No need for Lantern to roll, Batman sees the creature planting another bomb on the walls of the sewers.

Green Lantern: Shit, what now?

Batman: Let me think of something.

GM: You both hear a ping sound coming from the bomb.

Green Lantern: Screw stragety, it just armed it! Green Lantern charges at the creature!

Batman: Wait, I don't think-!

Parademon: For Darkseid! The creature then explodes in a blast of light!

Cyborg: Did it just say Darkseid?

Green Lantern: *rolls* Hell yeah! At the last second, Lantern forms a safe to protect himself! Oh and Batman. As the after effects of the explosion dies down, Lantern asks what it just said.

Batman: Dark side I think. I only heard it for a split second. If it is an alien, then it must be some kind of word in their language.

Cyborg: How can you two be calm right now?! Don't you realize what is going on?!

Green Lantern: Geez, Vic! We know. The creature was actually a parademon probably setting up a motherbox. But this is us starting the Justice League from scratch so our characters don't know that yet.

Cyborg: But Darkseid-

Batman: Got beaten by the Justice League in the comics, and will have the same done by our version. I know that Cyborg isn't exactly built for a threat level like Darkseid, but there is no need to worry. We work together, we can do anything.

Green Lantern: So, is the "bomb" still there? If it is, I scan my ring with it.

GM: Yes and the ring is unable to identify it.

Batman: Able to do anything huh? Batman grabs the motherbox from the wall. And then examines it.

Green Lantern: You guys are just hating on Green Lantern at this point, aren't you?

GM: Batman can't figure anything out except that it appears to be more of a computer than a bomb.

Green Lantern: Definitely a motherbox. Too bad our characters don't know that yet.

Superman: Hey guys!

GM: Alex, you're late!

Superman: Sorry! So what happened so far?

Cyborg: Carol and Damian just learned that we are being invaded by Darkseid.

Superman: So soon? Heh, will be a good way to test how powerful my Superman is.

Green Lantern: Hey, I got the perfect way to bring in Superman! I ask Batman if this alien tech has anything to do with Superman.

Batman: Why you ask that? That is in character by the way!

Green Lantern: Because...because...

Superman: Because Superman is an alien?

Green Lantern: Oh come on, that is just single minded!

GM: Works with me.

Batman: He certainly is. Alex, GM, and I already agreed that Batman knows about that via research.

Green Lantern: Wait, Batman believes in aliens but not in space cops?

Batman: Think on that question and tell me that space cops are not more ridiculous than aliens.

Green Lantern: Okay, fine. Green Lantern seals himself and Batman inside of a bubble that turns into an airplane once it gets outside the sewer and heads to Metropolis.

GM: Okay, let's take a break from that and go to Vic's story. You are currently playing football and the game is almost over. A ball is tossed towards you.

Cyborg: *rolls* Booyah! I catch the ball! *rolls* I run down the field while looking great doing it.

GM: Two players from the opposite team rush towards you!

Cyborg: I hope over one and tackle the other at the same time!

Superman: What? That is not gonna work. Shouldn't you go for something more practical?

Cyborg: *rolls* No need.

GM: *rolls* Yep, with that you score a touchdown! The game is over and your team won! The crowd cheers in your honor and talent scouts are already getting ready to recruit you! Your teammates pick you up and thank you on getting them into the finals!

Cyborg: Victor looks up-

Superman: Uh, shouldn't you refer to your characrer's first name and not your own?

Cyborg: Cyborg's real name is Victor.

Superman: Yeah, that is not going to be confusing.

Batman: That is what I said! Although surprisingly more sarcastic than that.

Cyborg: Okay fine. My character looks up at the reserve seat to see if my dad actually showed up.

GM: You find once again that it is empty.

Superman: Really, father issues? Couldn't think of something even a little bit more original?

Green Lantern: Don't be a dick, Alex.

Batman: Hey, he is a perfect fit for Superman after all!

GM: Shush! We are now in the locker room as your coach tries to fight back the many people who want to sign you up.

Cyborg: My character call dad to let him know that the coach isn't gonna let the scouts speak to him wih his father being there as well. I also make it painfully clear how I thought he would keep his promise for once and how I am sick of him letting his work take place above everything else.

GM: Your father says that next game he will come by.

Cyborg: Okay, let's get back to the others. I don't want them to be bored to death by my character's origin.

GM: In that case, a cheerleader shrieks in surprise and points to the sky where a giant, glowing plane passes by.

Cyborg: My character thinks about how his dad studies superheroes and yet he tells him nothing about them. He is left ignorant of these strange people as everyone.

Superman: Snooze fest! Ow!

GM: Carol, what did I say about physical contact?

Green Lantern: Sorry. So, we in Metropolis yet?

GM: You land next to demolition zone that is being demolished by LexCorp.

Batman: Nice. Also, airplane? Really? You make fun of my smoke missiles, but a least they aren't as idiotic as flying a glowing green jet where ever military in the US can see and shoot down!

Green Lantern: My constructs can handle it. Also, my ring lead us here, right?

GM: Your ring tells you that Superman is inside. Batman, take this slip of paper and paraphrase it.

Batman: Oh no. Oh no! This is bad! Carol, I mean Lantern! There appears to have been a fight that just took place!

Green Lantern: Hal interrupts Batman and encases him in a cube. Relax,

Batman. I am Green Lantern. I can handle anything.

Cyborg: Except for not getting your ring taken away.

Green Lantern: That did not happen!

Superman: Did Damian pull off another ridiculous stunt again?

Batman: It doesn't matter! Carol, listen to me.

Green Lantern: Green Lantern gets ready to talk to Superman.

Superman: 3.

GM: You sure?

Superman: 2.

Green Lantern: Yes, I can handle an early Superman.

Superman: 1.

Batman: CAROL!

Green Lantern: What?!

Superman: *rolls* This is what Damian was warning you about.

Green Lantern: Huh?

Batman: Oh shit. That is a lot of dice.

Cyborg: Wait, I thought Alex got over that habit of his?

Green Lantern: What habit? I haven't played with Alex before, so can someone explain.

GM: Well, it appears that Superman just zoomed by and punched Green Lantern so hard that he went flying.

Green Lantern:...*crash* FUCK YOU GUYS! I'm going home!

Batman: Carol, wait! *slam* Uh oh.

Cyborg: I can't believe she actually flip over the table! That was awesome!

GM: Well, this seems like a good time to end things.

Batman: Oh thank God! I don't have Kryptonite with me!

Superman: Wait one last thing before we leave! Superman turns towards Batman after knocking out Green Lantern. He then says the following: I don't do easy. So, what can you do?

Cyborg: I'm sorry, but that does not sound cool at all. Kinda dickish to be honest. See you guys tomorrow.

Batman: Bye Vic, see you GM.

Superman: Aw come on, that was the best entrance ever! Guys? *slam* Okay, whatever. Carol will get over it, right?

GM: Sure, she just snapped is all. You promise this fight won't last long and won't end in the other players being unable to continue, right? Because you are suppose to get out of this habit of yours.

Superman: Of course. See you later!

Author Notes: Question of the day! Or week. Month. Year, depends on when chapter 2 comes out! Who is the bigger jerk? Alex for starting PvP combat or the GM for starting it?

Also, if this happens to you, don't rage quit like Carol did. It might make you feel good, but it can really disrupt the fun others are having. If have any issues with the game, calmly ask the player to stop antics in a nice and/or inform your GM that you are no longer having fun.

Also, PvP is not always fun and can ruin the enjoyment for others who just want to kill monsters and steal their gotten treasure. Only do PvP if the other player agrees along with the GM's consent. You can also do an unofficial (Read as non-canon) match when the day is slow and there are not enough players.

Chapter 2 (Action Comics #1) will be up as soon as I write and proofread it.