Slow it down...
He was tired. So very tired. It had been another long day at work, doing the same old boring shit that he has done for the past five years. His entire life had been the same, rarely ever changing. And when it did, it never was for the best. His life was a constant battle of rights and wrongs, and somehow it always seemed that he was stuck on the wrongs, repeating them over and over again.
His head hurt, his lungs constricting with each breath he took as he walked in the cold. The rain pelted against his black umbrella as he trudged his way to the local bar he lived at every weekend. It was his refuge against all of the same constants in his life. It was always changing with excitement and happiness. There, he could finally let all of his pretenses go. There, he was himself. He was good enough.
He lived to feel good enough. To be accepted.
The warmth washed over him as he pushed the heavy black door open, the filth in his bones washing away with it. The air he breathed in felt fresh, opening up his lungs. The scent of perfume and cigarette smoke filled his nose as a familiar sense of home wrapped its soft, inviting arms around him. All of his worries vanished, along with the feeling of being stuck in the same damn place.
He took a seat at the table that he claimed as his own. He shrugged out of his coat, letting it fall back on the chair. He let his umbrella rest at his feet, drops of water falling onto his shoes and floor as it dried. His tie was loosened, his shirt pulled from his dress pants, and he relaxed.
A beer was placed in front of him, the server acknowledging him with a smile before tending to the customers who actually needed her. The band that had been hired was playing soft blues, the bass vibrating through him to where the bottle touched his dry, cracked lips. The recent events of the past week caught up with him with each sip he swallowed.
Smashed in car window, fists thrown, bruises and scars all over his drained body... Blue eyes that held so much hurt.
With a long sigh, he slammed the empty bottle back down on the tabletop. He rubbed at his chest where his beating heart was, trying to ease the pain from seeing those eyes brought him. He knew he shouldn't had thought of her, that it would only bring him suffering for the sins he had committed. But he was a fool. A fool that thought he could fall in love with someone he barely even knew, let alone could love in the first place. It was hard enough for him to even love himself, how on earth did people expect him to be good enough to love a woman? That was a question he may never know the answer to, for he didn't want it. He was broken.
Another bottle was placed by the empty one as the server made her rounds again, knowing that he was usually ready for his second after being in the place for ten minutes. He let it sit there for a while as he stared at an empty space on the wall, condensation forming on the bottle as the time passed.
His head was filling him in on his to-do list once he decided to go home. Clean the house, call your folks, call your sister back, congratulate her on her pregnancy, try to sleep, maybe even take care of yourself if you're feeling up to it, buddy...
He shook those vulgar thoughts out of his head as he grabbed at his bottle. But it wasn't where it was just minutes before.
"Looking for something?"
That voice ignited a flame in his stomach, one he was beginning to become familiar with.
His stranger had joined him, just as he hoped. Her brown hair was curled from her work day, but it was beginning to fall, creating those beautiful waves he loved to see. Her deep chocolate eyes were surrounded by grey smoke, a hint of glitter shining in the low lights of the bar. Her red lips were smirking at him as she held the tip of the bottle to them. The smell of her sweet perfume wafted up his nose, making his head spin as the charms on the necklace she wore clinked against one another. The navy dress she wore was tight around her tiny body, her silver heels gleaming from where the rested on the tabletop.
"Or was this for me?" she said in that soft voice he loved to hear. One of her eyebrows was hitched up in question, the bottle still at her lips.
"You know it's always for you," he replied his rough voice. Normally, people would say he had the voice of an angel, but lately he only heard the devil when he spoke. He committed too many sins, he was no angel. And she was one of them.
She took a sip, her red lipstick staining the label. She placed it back on the table, her hand lingering. He didn't hesitate to latch onto her wrist like he normally did when she graced him with her beautiful presence. He leaned in close, just enough so that his lips barely grazed the warm skin where her pulse was. He heard her breath being released in a rush, just like it always did, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Did you miss me?" she asked when he let her go, a blush staining her cheeks.
He nodded once. "Where've you been, angel?"
She shrugged, twirling a strand of her hair around a finger. "Here and there. I thought I told you I was traveling for work?"
"I would've remembered if you did," he replied as his eyes watched the finger spin around in the air.
Again, she shrugged. "Must've slipped my mind..."
They let the music play over their silence for a while, sharing the beer as the soft guitar melodies floated around the room. She moved her chair around so she could see the stage, placing herself right next to his. Her heels rested again on the table, the right foot tapping in the air to the beat of the song. He placed his arm around the back of her chair as he relaxed further. She lit up a cigarette before taking a drag and passing it to him. They were the sharing type of people when they were together, but separate... Well, they didn't bring those people into this place.
"What about you?" she finally asked after minutes of just letting the music caress their ear drums. "What have you been doing while I was away?"
He began to twirl a strand of her hair, the temptation to getting the better of him. "Work and sitting here, missing my stranger. I don't do much besides that and go home."
"Such a shame," she murmured, "how two lonely people get the satisfaction of communication at a bar on the weekends..."
He looked down at her. "We're not normal, remember?"
She met his eyes. "I remember."
Her lips parted as she breathed, the warm air of her breath setting fire to his skin. Green eyes bored into chocolate ones as the music took over again. He grabbed her hand and tugged her out of her seat, pulling her towards where people were slow dancing. Her arm wrapped around his back, her small hand resting on his shoulder. His large hand placed itself on the small of her back while the other held hers as they began to sway. She rested her head on his chest, getting as close as possible to him as they danced together. He let his chin rest on the top of her head, cradling her in his arms.
They breathed together as one as they slowly moved side-to-side. The blue eyes were replaced with brown, the bruises and scars replaced with beer and cigarette smoke, and the car window was no longer shattered. His to-do list was muted, the only thing he heard in his head was the music and her soft breathing.
He was tired. So very tired. But, with her in his arms, he could finally begin to feel at peace. His boring routine of life started to become exciting as images of him with her everyday painted themselves in front of his eyes. He no longer felt the constant frown, but a small smile.
"You smell like cigarettes and rain," he heard her say. "Such a familiar scent... I missed it."
He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You were gone for too long, angel."
She nodded. "Never again. I promise."
He felt her head move away from his chest before he was face-to-face with her. She was just a few inches shorter than him, and it was easy for her to stand on the tip of her toes to be tall enough to line up their lips. Her chocolate eyes searched his green ones for any sign of protest.
He never dared to kiss her, it was always her asking him with her eyes if she could. So far, what she found in them wasn't what she wanted, but today her expression seemed different. She blinked, her eyes focusing now on his chapped lips.
"Angel..." he breathed out.
"I know," she replied, breathless as well. "I know that after we leave tonight things will be different. But you have no idea how long I've wanted this."
No, he wasn't the one who didn't know. It was her.
The first moment she sat down across from him many months ago, he knew... He knew just how in love he was with her. He never intended to show her because he was broken, a sinner, and she was an angel. But it was so hard restraining himself to touch her, so he let him have those few touches and soft kisses that were never where he wanted them to be.
And, here she was, claiming that she has wanted him for as long as he had wanted her.
"Believe me when I say that," she said with conviction. "I want this."
He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as their eyes remained glued to one another. He knew things were different between his angel and him than it was between the blue eyes and the bruises. But he was afraid. What if things ended up just like that? What if they hurt each other?
He never wanted to hurt his angel.
"Trust me," she breathed, her lips now just barely grazing his as she moved in close. "Trust me."
The touch of her lips against his was his undoing. He used the hand that was on the small of her back to push her forward, her lips colliding with his. The hand that was on his shoulder squeezed, her nails digging into his collarbone. Her lips tasted of cigarettes, beer, and mint as he kissed with her all of the feelings he felt towards her.
He became alive with her touch. He could feel the warmth of blood flow course through his veins as they continued to kiss tenderly and slow. The flame that was simmering in the pit of his stomach and now grown to a full fire that coursed through his body, burning his lips as they touched hers.
He pulled away from her to catch his breath, resting his forehead against hers. A smile was on her face, one that she tried to hide by biting down on her bottom lip with her teeth.
"Do you believe me now?" she whispered.
He nodded. "I always did, angel."
That night, he didn't walk out of his favorite bar alone. He was no longer exhausted from the same old shit he did throughout his life. He was alive, breathing in the fresh, crisp air as he walked hand-in-hand with his angel towards a life for love even when they thought they were never good enough for it.
Gone were the blue eyes, bruise and scars, screams, and shatter car windows. Replacing them were chocolate eyes, tender kisses and soft touches, tears of joy as he watched her give birth to his baby girl, and placing a window back in his house that he had built with a few of his friends for them to live in.
Their lives had turned around. He was awake. His life was full of excitement and happiness, just like he had always wanted.
But... Some nights he still longed to go to that lonely bar and have a beer or two. And, just like she always did, his angel would always met him for the second one, asking the same question.
"Looking for something?"
You, angel. Always you.
I can't even begin to explain this. I just let my fingers go since we're apparently not doing well with news writing.
The enjoyed this immensely.
Have a good night.